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Lost Omens - Beta Read Club! Ch 2 Sc 1 (Patreon)

Published:
2017-06-24 00:00:01
Imported:
2021-07

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Content

New chapter, new group of people! (This doesn't last much longer, I promise :) ) I wanted to include some of the more fleshed-out illustrations above because the outfit doesn't translate perfectly to thumbnail. They wear this bodysuit that comes up over their faces and covers it halfway. Hope that makes sense!! 


BACKGROUND:

This is a fantasy comic I completed in thumbnail form in 2014-2015. It's long (703p). For more background: https://www.patreon.com/posts/inventory-lost-7710527

PLEASE:

CONTENT WARNINGS:

For this scene: (none?? I don't think??

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Comments

Anonymous

so uh... why are there so many people walking around the city if they have teleporting technology? personally i would have multiple teleporters set up around my HOUSE to cut down on travel time, let alone going out anywhere lmao XD the concept drawings you included here reminded me of the ones you've previously shared in your various sketchbooks, so i've just gone back and read through all of them at once, which really highlighted how you've already put such a huge and impressive amount of work into developing this comic. it's also interesting to look back and see how much it's changed since, like, the 2008-era designs ^_^;;. i don't know enough about the story yet to draw firm conclusions on that, but just on the character design and world building side, this is some really spectacularly solid stuff. having read just this far i am also wondering about asking a lot of questions which may be super-spoilery, or just things you want readers to become gradually aware of as the story unfolds. like is this set in the far future, or a more medieval time where carefully-studied magic has lead to the accelerated development of high technology? how many different cultures are there, and are they different "races" or separate species? are they all originally humans who have evolved or been genetically modified, or is this a different world entirely? do the kelari and zumari worship the same goddess or are there multiple religious beliefs as well? anyway it seems like a good sign that i am becoming invested in the story and wanting to know more about it. oh, and the only note i would make about this particular scene would be on page 2-10 panel 3, Ahbe's dialogue could perhaps be toned down to "i'm not a fool, Bharr" or something along those lines.

jam
>>5828000

Hehehe the teleporters are SUPPOSED to be "cargo only" (I tried to make it seem painful ;) ) but I feel u I could definitely use that tech in my life too. Lost Omens was definitely the nexus of me learning what character design/concept work even was! I did a lot of back-and-forth... designing the characters, then writing the story, then designing the world and characters a bit more to suit. I'm glad you liked it, the character design stuff was definitely fun to do. There is still a lot of stuff I'd like to include in the comic, and as I go I'll share as much as I can (as it relates to the plot at the moment). As far as questions -- it's definitely good to know what comes to mind. I think I'll answer only if it DOESN'T get resolved in plot. You can consider this a "different universe" not connected to ours at all. We've now met the four cultures involved. Whether they're human or different species... I'll say that's "open to interpretation". I have ideas about it but it doesn't get explored. For the rest, keep reading ;)

NJGR

That opening shot is fun. Reminds me somehow of the classic movie, Metropolis (though I've only seen clips of it). :) I couldn't quite tell what is going on after that, with the people looking up at the "Vrrrnmmm" text over the city. Power outage? I'm sure it'll be clearer in the final, but I thought I'd not it just in case it helps. I do kind of wonder if making more of the danger of the porter tech might be worth it, especially depending on how much you want it to be used by people in the rest of the storyline. I think this bit works pretty well overall. The main thing I'd add beyond the teleporter stuff is about Ahbe's (sp?) comment about keeping extra copies of his project hidden. If he's led the project for twenty years, that comment seemed odd to me, unless other projects have been canceled like that, or if aspects of his project had been snapped up before? I think that's a pretty easy fix in all the back and forth you have earlier, but I thought it was worth noting. --Neal