Chapter 180: (Patreon)
Content
[General POV]
After Edward uploaded a video of himself playing football on his Instagram page, the views of the video instantly exploded. However, as American football wasn't as popular in other countries as it was in the United States, the video couldn't achieve a breakthrough and become one of the more popular videos on the internet.
Tom Brady, a professional NFL player with an outstanding record, accidentally came across Edward's video while scrolling on his phone. "Oh, impeccable form. James, we should get this guy for the team."
"Who?" His friend peeked into his video and then scowled, "That's the singer kid who built the app. He's a nerd – wait, he's not a nerd. Huh."
James instantly changed his opinion about Edward after watching the video. "He must have practiced the throws for a long time. He can throw it into tight spaces too. That's awesome, and it took a lot of practice. I had the wrong impression of him."
Tom Brady was still processing the earlier information. "He's a singer?"
"Yeah, kinda the most popular kid right now. You know what, why don't we ask him if he wants to come check out our stadium," James smiled teasingly. Their team's name was the Patriots, and they were located in Boston, on the other side of the coast. So it wouldn't even make sense for them to invite Edward.
"Alright, I will leave a comment," Tom Brady smiled, not understanding the situation.
James looked at him disdainfully but didn't extinguish Tom's false hope.
While the entire country was watching Edward's videos, a heated argument was taking place inside an apartment in Pasadena.
"Why don't we try to build some muscles and maybe pretend we're into sports!?" Howard Wolowitz said in exasperation.
"Your plan is as feasible as saying we should use the fake balloon muscles from the Spongebob cartoon show. What you're saying is not only comical, but it also shows that you have the IQ of a sea sponge!" Sheldon replied angrily.
"But... You have to admit, Edward proved that he can do it. You know, balance between being a jock and being a nerd. He made a lot of games and apps, all by himself," Leonard tried to convince Sheldon.
Sheldon nodded, acknowledging Edward's effort, and rolled his eyes at the same time. "Just pick one already. Why does he want to do both?" Sheldon muttered incomprehensibly.
Howard smiled before saying, "So... What are we waiting for? We should hit the gym and finally make the gym membership card in Leonard's wallet useful. Of course, we need to clean off the dust first."
Leonard rolled his eyes while Howard and Raj laughed at him. Rajesh then asked, "How long has it been since you started the membership?"
Sheldon replied instead of Leonard, "He started in 2003, shortly after he moved into this apartment. He said that 'It's what Californians do,' and then he never went there again after the first time."
The others laughed at Leonard, but then Leonard said self-deprecatingly, "Laugh all you want. I can't go there to face Jackie, the hot receptionist who convinced me to get a membership card, and it still costs me 50 bucks a month because I couldn't cancel it."
While the group laughed harder, Leonard whined, "It's been 6 years, and it's still deducting!"
After calming down, the group suddenly fell into an abrupt silence. Rajesh rubbed the sofa cushion while sitting and asked hesitantly, "So... should we go there?"
No one answered him, not even Howard, who started the whole topic. "Nah, let's see if he uploads something new tomorrow and see if we can do that," Howard said.
"Oh, by the way, he asked me if we're going to play any D&D games. He wants to join us," Leonard said happily.
...
[Edward's POV]
"98, 99... 100," I counted as I did a shirtless one-arm push-up in the living room. Haley and Alex ate some popcorn as they watched me exercise in silence. They let out some gasps a few times as they watched my muscles tighten and my sweaty body glisten.
"Sorry, I just have one more rep, and then we can start," I told them as I stood up with a slight panting.
"N-No, you can take your time. No rush," Haley said with a slight stutter at the beginning. I shot her a weird look before going to do some pull-ups. The girls kept their eyes on me, and when I was finally finished, they ran to give me some towels.
"Thanks," I replied as I wiped the sweat off my body and then walked towards the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower. And while I'm in there, you guys better wipe that drool off your faces because I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep looking at me that way."
"What way?" Alex asked.
"The 'sleep with me' face," I teased. I wanted to say ‘Fuck Me’ faces, but I still needs to hide a few parts of my personality for when they were truly comfortable with me later on. Then only would I show all of my true self, making them fall in disbelief as to why they ever wanted to become friends in the first place.
After that, I went to cook dinner, which included a T-bone steak and a lot of high-protein dishes in big portions. "Haley, what did you want to talk about?" I asked while cooking.
"What?" Haley was blanking out. She smiled as she looked at me, completely forgetting her intention of coming here today.
Alex reminded her, "Your doodle book?"
"Ah," Haley exclaimed before she took out a pink-covered book with a ribbon on top. "And also, this isn't my doodle book! This is my book of ideas!"
Alex snorted and said, "I've seen the page where you wrote 'Mrs. Haley Newga–'"
Haley cupped Alex's mouth before she could finish her words. I chuckled a bit and said, "Alex, you can go play down in my lab if you want."
"No, no. I want to hear this too," Alex said. "I was really surprised when she said she has something great, and I really want to see it."
She meant that she wanted to condescendingly criticize it. However, I noticed that Alex had mellowed out her sarcasm with her sister after she got a boyfriend and a lot of friends.
Maybe now she didn't hide her insecurities behind her sarcastic demeanor anymore, which eased up her relationship with Haley and also her family members. I was just guessing, but I think that was close to the mark.
“It’s not something great. It’s just a simple thought.” Haley said hesitantly.
“Well don’t keep edging me on and give me no release. What is it?” I asked in excitement.
Alex was baffled by my choice of words but Haley blushed. “That’s really dirty.” Alex scolded. I shrugged it off and I watched Haley open up her book.
“2 days ago, while I was doing yoga–”
“You mean, watching other people do yoga.” Alex exposed Haley instantly.
“Male or female?” I asked.
“Girls I think.” Alex replied.
“Ooh. Saucy.” I said as I poured the sauce I made into the sauce bowl.
“Can I keep talking here? Or do you guys want to take over?” Haley asked sarcastically with a slight smile.
“Sorry. Go on.” Both Alex and I apologized.
“Like I was saying, when I was doi– Watching those girls do their yoga exercise, I noticed that their tights were worn out, and it stretched so much that it almost became transparent.”
I nodded and I added, “Which, is the main selling point of those yoga workout videos.”
Alex and Haley both rolled their eyes together. Haley ignored me and said, “Yeah. And a few of them who didn’t want to do it, had to wear a tracksuit. Even Gloria– I saw her wearing tight pants doing yoga, but she had to wear a long shirt to cover up her butt.”
“Cause if she didn’t, the instructor won’t be able to teach the class at all.” I added.
Both the sisters nodded in agreement with me. Haley then said, “So I was wondering if there’s a solution for this. I made a couple of designs, but I don’t know how to create them.”
“Hmm? Why don’t you just buy the yoga pants?” I asked in confusion.
“Because they are the same. It becomes worn out after a few times, and couldn’t be worn longer than a week.” Haley replied.
“So, you want to create a whole new material that can increase the durability of the design?” I asked.
“Personally, I just wanted to show off my nice ass, and black tights don't really work for it.” Haley confessed while posing.
Alex grunted, “Ugh. I’m not going to stay here much longer if what you guys are going to come out with, is just going to help with the objectification of women.”
“Some might even say that being comfortable with your own body is empowering.” I said, causing Alex to hesitate.
Haley then smirked, “Just because you don’t have one, it doesn’t mean that others don’t.” Alex gasped in offense and stormed away in dissatisfaction. After Alex had left, I turned to Haley and said, “To be fair, you don’t have much too.”
She gasped in offense, and before she could walk away, I grabbed her wrist and said, “Not that you don’t have the capability of doing so. But since you didn’t eat much, it doesn’t really get filled out. I know for sure you have the genes for a nice ass. Just look at your parents.”
“Which one?” Haley asked.
“Your dad.” I replied teasingly.
“Eww.” She groaned in disgust.
“And also, your ass wasn’t the only thing you seem to have gotten from him.” I said as I finished cooking my steak and set it for rest. “He’s got the inventing aptitude too. Last one he built was what? The Real Head-Scratcher, T.M.?”
Haley chuckled a bit and said, “Yes. The head scratcher.”
“See. Like father, like daughter.”
She showed a touched smile before saying, “Give it to me straight. Is my idea good, or just so-so?”
“It’s good, it’s good.” I said. “If you include the effort for butt-lifting in the seams of the pants, it can become a hot commodity for girls who want to show their fake , perfect ass to the world.”
"Creating a new material or finding a way to enhance the durability of existing fabrics could be a good starting point. Also, it needs a lot of work. Researching different fabric technologies, exploring options like reinforced fibers or innovative weaving techniques. We could also look into moisture-wicking properties and breathability to ensure comfort during workouts."
Haley fell into a daze and then said mousily, “Just…forget about it.”
“Oh come on. It’s your first ‘big’ idea! This will launch the designer Haley Dunphy’s name….and make it exclusive to people’s butt– You’re going to be the household name for helping people with their butt problem–”
She threw a carrot at me as I teased her. I gave her some homeworks to do after she got back, which she had jotted down inside the book.
After I finished cooking, I invited Haley to eat together with me, but as she sat in front of me, I noticed that she was pouting and didn’t want to look at me right in the face.
“What’s wrong– Are you pouting because I said that you don’t have a perfect ass? Cause you should know I was just joking.”
“Awww.” Haley exclaimed instantly and finally looked me in the eye with a face filled with relief. “But still. Don’t do that. I worked hard on this.” She said, referring to her behind.
As we were eating, I caught her only pretending to eat the food while staring at me.
“Just eat. I’ll do you a favor after this.”
“What favor?”
“I’ll make sure that you won’t get fat no matter how much you eat tonight.”
“By…sweating off all the energy later?” She said, her face blushed.
“Nah. By massaging you all over.” I said in a seductive manner. Before she could react, I added, “And by saying massage, it’s exactly what I was going to be only doing. Massaging you.”
“Huh?” She was confused. “I would understand it if you’re subtly saying that we’re going to do it, but I’m really confused right now.”
I smirked and said, “Oh. I learnt something wonderful. A traditional massage skill for the kings and queens in Asia. It’ll make you 10% prettier if you–”
“I’d do it!” She said instantly after hearing that it could make her prettier. I smiled and said, “But, I’m going to need to touch you all over. Are you okay with that?”
She rolled her eyes and then said, “It’s not like you haven’t seen everything before. So, let’s just do it!”
I laughed and said, “Calm down, let me eat first. Ah, and you need to eat a lot too. Or else you’re going to faint during the massage.”
“Hmm? You can’t eat or drink anything one hour before, right?”
“You’re not going to swim!! It’s fine!”
I shot her an angry glare, but my mouth couldn’t hide my smile. “By the way, where’s your sister?” I just realized that Alex was gone for a while.
“She went down to the basement and never came back up.” Haley muttered before we heard an eerie sound coming from the basement.
We looked at each other, hearts palpitating. Then, we shrugged our shoulders and said in denial, “She’s fine.” We continued eating, and fed each other a couple of times before we finally went down to the basement.
…
“Wear this.” I handed a white lab coat towards Haley before I opened the basement door.
“Hmm? Do you have this in red? Or a sexier one?”
“Sexy lab coats. You should write that down in your book of ideas. Halloween outfit companies and porn magazines would love it.” I muttered sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes and followed me from behind as we entered the lab.
“Hmm?” She was confused when she saw another door right after we opened up the basement door.
“Come in and close it.” I told her. She shut the previous door when suddenly a gush of high pressure air blew the both of us. Her hair and mine fluttered in the wind, so did our clothes. Then, I opened the glass door and walked into the lab while Haley was still processing what just happened.
“Question. Why did you install a professional air jet into your lab?” Alex, who was gone for a while, asked while wearing a lab coat.
“To keep the room sterile. Duh.” I replied casually with a smirk as I walked towards her.
“How much does this cost you?” Haley asked in disbelief after seeing a lot of high tech equipment in the lab.
“Well, the air jet alone cost 20 Gs. This isn't all complete yet, but I have spent around 1 million dollars to buy all of this stuff.”
The girls froze as my casual revelation, and suddenly felt that they shouldn’t touch anything.
I asked Alex, who was standing by the microscope, “What are you doing?”
Alex stuttered a bit and replied, “I-I read some of your data, and your hypothesis about possible microplastic invasion inside the human body. I was wondering if that was true, so I checked out the beach sand samples you have.”
“What’s microplastic?” Haley asked.
“Something that makes up Kim Kardashian’s face?” I replied, causing her to scoff in disbelief.
Alex was excited, “It’s really cool. He hypothesized that our action of throwing waste products into the ocean will someday cause irreparable damage to the ecosystem.”
She then realized something and her enthusiasm dampened, Well...More irreparable damage… Something that we, as a human, would face. Not the fish that are currently facing them right now.”
“Oww, those poor fishies.” Haley exclaimed.
Alex didn’t reply to her sister and asked me, “Why are you doing research on this?”
“Just because.” I replied, face suddenly flushed with embarrassment.
Haley saw it and was excited, “Why? Why are you not telling us the reason?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to.” I replied shyly.
Alex also smiled and then egged me together with her sister, “We promise that we won’t ever tell a fourth party about this.”
“I don’t believe in promises.” I said decisively.
“What? Umm…What do you want then?” Alex asked.
“Let’s make a deal. I told you my plans, and you… You are to kiss Finneas in front of your mom in a week.”
“NEVER! I don’t want to know your plans!” Alex spoke in horror. However, Haley said, “DEAL! I’ll make sure that she will do it!”
“HALEY!” Alex groaned in frustration.
I chuckled and then patted Alex’s head, “I was just kidding. It’s fine if you guys want to know. I’m just thinking about cleaning it all up.”
“Huh?” x2
“You mean, you’re not satisfied with just cleaning up your home, now you want to clean up the ocean?” Alex said sarcastically, but with a hint of awe.
“Kinda.”
Haley then added, “And you’re going to use your own money to do this?”
“No.” I replied decisively. “My plan is to find the evidence for my theory, use fear mongering–such as microplastics found in a human fetus, arrange a fundraiser, get all of the big tech to donate, use their money, and then clean up the ocean.”
Alex took out a design for the Ocean Cleanup ship stuck on the wall and said, “This is the thing that will do the job?”
“Yes. I can’t wait for Boyan Slat to do it. He’s only 14 right now.”
“Who’s Boyan Slat?” Haley asked, confused.
“Not important.” I replied. “Anyway, this is just one of my side projects. You know, something to do if I have the time to do it.”
“You mean, other than the time you use to slowly kill your own body with continuous working?” Alex said sarcastically.
“Yes. Anyway, Alex, you should go now. I’m going to do something with your sister, and the sound that’s coming out is going to be rated mature, you know, something a girl your age shouldn’t hear.”
Alex and Haley both looked at me in disbelief, but the difference was that Alex looked at me with disgust, while Haley looked at me while laughing.
…
Alex didn’t want to get home, and insisted that she stay to watch over us. I was a bit irritated at first, but then I realized that it was a good thing that she was there.
Her presence was the only thing that was keeping my sanity together during the massage– not that I had intentionally tried to get Haley turned on, but it was a major side effect of the massage. That…and intense pain.
“I feel like my whole body is going to cramp.” Haley moaned after she walked out of the door while Alex was helping her to stand still.
Alex then said, “I…I’m never sitting through that again. If you guys are doing this for the second time, please don’t make me stay….Please.”