Chapter 271: College Experience (3) (Patreon)

(Meta chap lol)

[Edward POV]

As Abed and I climbed down the rope and entered the forgotten, restricted area of the Greendale computer department, he turned to me with a curious look. "Mind giving me some information about our quest?"

I shone my flashlight around, taking note of the agents blocking the entrance to the lounge room, ensuring our privacy. 

"I'm searching for Russell Borchert's treasure," I began, launching into an exposition. "He's a computer genius and millionaire who got rich by inventing the nine-track cassette. Supposedly, the eight-track industry paid him to keep quiet about it, and he funneled that wealth into founding Greendale as a computer school."

I chuckled. "Though it's strange that you all don't actually teach any computer courses here."

Abed quipped, “It’s labeled ‘Computery’ college. I thought that they teach things related to computers. But now you mentioned it, it is indeed odd.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “It seems there was a time when the college was filled with technological innovations.” As we walked through the corridors, I could see traces of where computers used to be and even a research lab. 

Abed said, “Anyway, back to Russell Borchert.”

“Oh, right. He obsessively pursued a new project...a machine that can process feelings. He apparently used nothing but gold to assemble his circuitry, believing it to be a better conductor for human emotion. I’m quite interested in the tech, so let’s see if we can find it.” I added. 

I continued giving Abed some exposition, “Rumors spread about Russell Borchert’s… unnatural relationship with computers. So much so, that people even thought he died from a computer virus. An STD computer virus.”

“ But, he actually just went underground and continued his research here. The first Greendale Dean was so embarrassed by Russell’s… quirks…that he sealed off the entire computer department to prevent another Russell incident.”

Abed asked while in character, “Are you here in search of the gold circuit? Is that the treasure?”

I turned to him and said, “I’m not. Also, I’m not planning to break the robot.”

Abed was confused, “Then, what are you aiming for here?”

I smirked and said, “You’ll understand it when the time comes.”

We reached the end of the corridor into another lounge. There was a jukebox there, placed in front of what obviously was a hidden room. I checked the surroundings and found several baseball cards. 

“Why are you picking them up?” Abed asked curiously.

“A friend of mine is collecting baseball cards. I can give it to him.” I replied casually. Little did Abed and I know, these vintage baseball cards from the 70s in mint condition, were really valuable. One of these could pay for Abed’s entire college fees, and I got 40 of them. 

Abed checked the jukebox and said, “I’m sure one of them is the key to opening the secret door.”

“Try track 127.” I muttered.

Abed checked the track’s name and said, “Of course. “Open the door” by Secret doors. The key couldn’t be even more obvious.”

The jukebox rumbled and started playing the song. The jukebox moved inside the walls, opening a secret path to Russell Borchert’s lab. I expected to see the inventor there, that’s why I told Abed I wasn’t going to take the gold circuits.

Russell's entire life's work was to build a robot girlfriend, and taking that gold out of his robot would basically kill the love of his life - however clunky it may be. My aim in this treasure hunt was to trade with Russell some technologies. I'm pretty sure I could just connect him to the internet and he would be glad to give me his money.

"This is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life," Abed muttered in amazement as the door finished opening. I chuckled and said, "Stick closely with me."

I asked him to do that because I was expecting a feral Russell Borchert there. However, I wasn’t worried about him because right now, he would be a 70 year old man, and he had never once exercised in his entire life. I could take him down easily if I had to.

The room was filled with analog servers, which reminds me of the Zola scene in Captain America winter soldier. As we entered the room, Abed and I were both shocked when we saw a human skeleton laying on the floor of the lab.

"Oh my god," I muttered with disbelief. "This isn't supposed to happen." My voice shook as I examined the corpse. "He's supposed to be alive!"

Abed was also disturbed by it and said, "That corpse..."

"This...maybe Russell Borchert--" My words stopped as I suddenly smelled something strange. "Abed! Hold your breath and retreat immediately. The room is filled with gas!"

Abed was startled and he covered his nose instantly. Both of us rushed back to the jukebox, and we closed the secret passage behind us.

Breathing heavily, Abed said, "Gas? Are you sure? I didn't smell anything."

"I'm sure of it. Whatever the gas is, I'm pretty sure that was the thing that killed Mr Borchert."

"What should we do now?" Abed asked. "Do we end our adventure here?"

Shaking my head, I said, "No. We just need a gas mask. Luckily for me, I brought it with me when I came to Colorado. But..."

"But what?" Abed asked urgently. I scratched my cheek and said, "I left it behind in my apartment."

Abed nodded and said, "It's okay. I don't think there's anyone else who knows about the treasure's existence. I--"

Abed suddenly stumbled, and his knees were weakened. I grabbed him from falling down and asked, "Abed, are you okay?"

"I...suddenly feel quite dizzy," Abed said. "My head feels very heavy."

"The gas. You've inhaled quite a lot of it," I said as I felt my head throbbing too. I carried Abed by his shoulder and walked him toward the exit. I called the agents and one of them climbed down through the trap door.

"Take him to the hospital. Quick," I ordered. "He inhaled some gas. I don't know what kind."

"What about you, sir?" The agent asked me with concern.

"I'm fine," I said. I took out a canister from my pocket, and took out 2 nostril filters from it before plugging it into my nose. I didn't want to take it out before because that meant I would be the only one who could adventure inside the room, but right now, it would be better for me to do this alone.

After equipping the filters, I ventured back into the secret lab to find the source of the gas. From my inspection, I figured out that one of the gas pipes he used for heating his secret lab had burst. In my rough estimate, it has been 5 years since Russell Borchert died there, alone, without anyone realizing it. I searched for the main pipeline and turned off the gas. 

‘That’s a harsh way to go.’ I thought before grabbing a duffel bag filled with cash stowed under the desk. ‘At the very least, I can have this.’ I checked the content of the bag.

I was confused at first when I saw that it was filled to the brim with 100 dollar bills. ‘Didn’t he say that it was Gerard Ford dollars?’ I was expecting to see a fake currency here, but the money was quite real.

When I thought about it, I realized that I had misunderstood it. 

In the TV series, Russell Borchert meant that it was cash from the Gerard Ford era. Because of the rapid inflation in the 70s, Russell thought that the cash was worthless– which it would’ve been if the rate of inflation stayed the same as it was in the 70s. That’s why he gave it to the school so easily. 

The duffel bag was 86L in size. From my rough calculation, 5,186.7 cubic inches of the bag size, divided by 0.069 inches of the 100 dollar bills, should be around 75,166 hundred dollars bills inside the bag, which amounted to 7.52 million dollars.

‘For taking your money, I’ll give you a proper burial. You can rest easy knowing that your dreams have come true.’ I clasped my hand together as I prayed for the deceased man. That’s when I saw the skeleton holding a note in his grasp.

As I was curious, I pried the piece of paper from his hand, and found out that it was Russell’s dying will. 

The note said; [   My time is short. If you find this, you've found my body. My cocaine habit has gotten the better of me, killing my body at a fast rate. 

For the discoverer, I leave you all my possessions. This includes my home and all my tech and engineering equipment, including all of my wealth.

I also leave you the deed to Greendale college. I have a dream that one day, technology would be available to the masses. I hope that you can carry on that dream for me.

Most importantly, I leave you my robot companion. Her name is Raquel. She is the embodiment of my life's work, and the love of my life.

Please care for her. Allow her to continue living on my behalf.

This is my final wish. I entrust my life's work to you. Use it wisely. Let my robot and college carry on my legacy.

Farewell.

-Rusell Borchert   ]

From his handwriting, it seemed that Russell Borchert wrote this in a hurry. He might have thought that his body's deterioration was due to his cocaine habit in the 80s, unaware of the gas leak.

After reading the will, I hesitated for a bit. His dream of making advanced technology accessible had already been fulfilled, so I had no obligations on that front. However, caring for the 8-foot-tall robot was too much for me. I'd rather just melt down the circuits to get the gold rather than transferring it back into my lab.

"Wait. Why am I stressed out about it? It's a robot. I just need to copy the codes," I thought.

There were 15 old servers connected to the main robot. I grabbed a USB and created a hub to connect to the servers before copying everything inside. Then, I started to break down the robot, took every single piece of gold, and left the secret lab.

For Russell Borchert's burial, a few of my agents would take care of that later on. First, I sent a copy of the will to Harvey, asking her to verify its legitimacy. After confirmation, I changed the name on the deed from Russell Borchert to my own, which meant I immediately became Greendale's Vice Dean.

"Melt down the gold and sell it. Also, put this all into my bank account," I instructed one of my bodyguards. Since the money was willed to me, I needed to pay inheritance tax to legalise it, which meant I had to pay around 15% of the  total wealth to the state.

Checking the Colorado inheritance tax rates, I found that the inheritor only needed to pay 8% of the total wealth inherited. 

After selling the gold, I received an additional $12 million, bringing the total inheritance to $20 million. I had to pay $1.6 million in inheritance tax to the state. All of this was settled in just 3 hours since Abed and I started the adventure. As the company and the legal team I created were all hired based on efficiency, all of the work was done in a record amount of time.

I went to the hospital to check on Abed after burying Russell. He was already back to his normal self, laying down on the hospital bed, with one of my bodyguards guarding the door to his ward. I threw him a stack of 100 dollar bills I grabbed from the bag and said, “Here, for your medical expenses.”

Abed didn’t react for a second before he picked up the cash and politely gave it back to me, “It’s fine. I’m just following along in the adventure. The loot is all yours. You’re the one who did all of the research. I have no claims in it.”

I scoffed and said, “Just take it. This is compensation for the danger you faced.”

“Rather than money, can I get another form of compensation? Maybe a favor?” Abed asked.

“What do you want? A theme song?” I chuckled. Then, Abed nodded, which made me incredulous. “You really want a theme song?”

“It’s important for a good show to have their own theme song.” Abed said while snapping his finger. “Hmmm…Alright then. Sure. Still, take the money. You need some to cover your medical insurance.”

Abed smiled and said, “Okay.”

He suddenly said, “I thought you’re going to be like ‘Jay Gatsby’, but you’re more like Tony Stark.”

“Cause I’m devilishly handsome and incredibly smart?” I joked.

Abed replied, “No, because you hide your kind personality behind a facade.”

I was taken aback for a second before I changed the topic, “By the way, who did you put down as your guardian? You can already be discharged, you just need someone to sign the release form.”

Even I couldn’t do that on his behalf considering I’m not an adult. “If you want, I can ask one of my guards to do it for you.” I offered.

“My dad. But he cannot close his falafel shop. So I have already called Britta. She’ll be arriving soon.” Abed replied.

“I’ll keep you company till she arrives.” I said. Abed became excited and asked, “What should we talk about? The Batman movies? I know you like Batman. You mentioned it a few times in your livestream. I don’t know what else you like.”

“Hmm, let’s see. Have you watched One Piece before?” I asked in reply.

Abed shook his head and said, “I heard about it, but I cannot find a good source to watch the show.”

“You should watch it soon. It’s a masterpiece.” I chuckled. Abed said, “I’ll decide that on my own.”

Abed suddenly got into another topic, “Remember that I told you about changing the show’s setting before?”

“Yeah. I remember.” I replied casually. “After seeing what used to be Greendale’s glory day, and their hidden history, do you still feel the same way?” I asked.

Abed shook his head and said, “Not at all. The exposition of the rich background was told in the beginning of the first season, so it’ll subconsciously plant some seeds into the audience, thinking that this is a show for the college to gain their prestige back. So it doesn't matter if the setting changes now.”

“That’s… reaching. But, it does make sense?” I replied hesitantly. 

“Since the show is focusing on our study group, I don’t think it really matters.” Abed added. “It’s just that the college improvement won’t change the dynamic of the show anymore. Maybe, it’ll even create a few interesting episodes.”

Abed suddenly said, “You might think I’m weird as I kept referring to the college as a TV show.”

“I’m not thinking that.” I replied. Abed was confused, “Really? Why?” He looked at me as if I was the weird one.

“Cause…I can see it too I guess?” I chuckled. “ In fact, I feel a connection?” I replied honestly. Abed was silent for a while. In his entire life, it was the first time for him to meet someone who understood what he was saying. 

“In fact, I’ve been in 5 of them.” I  leaned in and whispered. “5 shows!”

Abed gasped in shock and asked excitedly, “What are the 4 other shows? I know that you won’t be able to tell their names, so just tell me what the show is like.”

I counted with my fingers, “A mockumentary-style dramedy that follows the lives of an extended family with unique personalities and relationships (Modern Family). A comedy that centers on a group of socially awkward scientists and their interactions with a hot neighbor (The Big Bang Theory).”

“A sitcom that follows the misadventures of two young waitresses trying to start a cupcake business while dealing with the challenges of living in New York City on a tight budget (2 Broke Girls). And lastly, A sitcom that follows the antics and investigations of a talented but quirky group of NYPD detectives in the 99th Precinct (Brooklyn 99).”

Abed said with excitement, “All of them have the making of a good story? Although some of them would work better if they have a laugh track.”

“I know right?” I muttered with the same excitement. Abed and I bonded over our worldviews for a while. We talked non-stop for about 2 hours, mostly about TV shows.

Abed suddenly muttered, “Although I’m glad that we’re building a connection, my mind kept wondering where Britta might be. She’s really late.”

“Hmm? That’s true. Let me check.” I said before I walked to the door, opened it, and asked the agent standing guard there. “Did a blonde girl named Britta come by yet?”

The agent nodded and said, “She did. She signed the release form and left.”

“Huh? Why didn’t she come inside?” I asked in confusion.

The bodyguard avoided his eyes, which made me realize he had something to do with it.

“What did you do?” I asked sternly.

“You were having a moment with the patient. I don’t want her to disturb it and send her away.” The bodyguard replied. “She doesn’t seem to be pleasant. I don’t want her to ruin the mood.”

Baffled at first, I asked with narrowed eyes, “Your name is Mickey right?”

“Yes. Wait, A-Are you firing me?” Mickey asked, flustered.

“No, you’re promoted.” I said, turning him speechless. “From now on, you’re going to be the head of my personal security.”

I returned to Abed after grabbing the release form, leaving the guy alone to process what just happened. Suddenly, I heard him shout from behind the door, “THANK YOU SIR! I WON’T LET YOU DOWN!”

“What was that?” Abed asked curiously. I replied, “Nothing, I just promoted him. Anyway Abed, you can go home now. I’m going back to college to pick up Frankie. I can drive you.”

“Okay sure. Thank you. On the road, you can talk about your own show, and I’ll give you advice on how to improve it.

“The show I’m working on?” I asked with a quizzical expression. Abed replied, “No, your show. The show where you’re  the main star.”

“I have a show?” I replied in surprise. “No, I don’t have a show Abed. My life story is too boring to have my own show.”

“I’ll be the one to decide that.” Abed said decisively. I thought about it for a while and said, “What the hell. As long as we’re leaning into this, might as well.”

…

[General POV]

While in the meeting with the school board members– Richie and Carl, Frankie got a text from Edward and excused herself from the meeting. Then, she called Edward in confusion and asked, “When did you forge a dead man’s will?”

“I didn’t. I actually found his corpse underneath the school campus.” Edward replied in disbelief. “I told you I was treasure hunting.” He added.

Frankie thought about it and said, “Well, since you got the deed, it’ll make the negotiation easier.”

“Frankie, can I ask you a favor?” Edward interjected. Frankie asked, “What do you want me to do?”

“It seems that the wealth of the deceased men is much bigger than I thought.” Edward muttered. “Rather than letting the city get the investment…What if…”

They talked about it for a while, and Frankie finally cut the call. She reentered the room and sat down on the table. Both of the city reps were still smiling, expecting good news. 

Dean Pelton smiled sadly behind the glass door, peering into the meeting room with a look of longing. He was thrown out of the negotiation by the school board because of the eccentric ways he was acting.

“Gentlemen, let’s cut the meeting short.” Frankie said with a serious tone, causing the smile to vanish from the city rep’s faces.

“I was only here for a day, and I have to convince Edward to stop the investment from happening.” Frankie continued. Both of the city reps were shocked, “Wait? WHY!?”

The school financially was in dire straits, so not getting the investment was a huge deal to everyone there. 

“Let me give you a run down on why I did that.” Frankie took out a list and read them out loud, “The facilities are crumbling - black mold, faulty wiring, coyotes and other animals running rampant on campus. The power goes out constantly, and they don't even have a proper fire alarm system. Not to mention the building structure and overlooked issues. It's a liability nightmare waiting to happen.”

“The money can fix that.” Richie said nervously while pulling his collar. Frankie continued without minding him, “Half of the faculty are drunk and they don’t even want to be here. Not to mention, frauds. Your Dean hired the Spanish teacher because he thought it’d be racist for him to ask him about his credentials– which is none by the way.” 

“There’s a marijuana farm growing in the lab, which made this entire place complicit in the police matter.” Frankie added. 

“Lastly, the administration. The place is run by a revolving door of half-competent bureaucrats, and I was being generous. I'm shocked they haven't been sued into oblivion already.” Frankie placed down the list and said, “Do you guys have anything to say in defense to what I figured out?”

Richie said angrily, “Alright. We get it.”

Frankie commented, “Not only for us, but even the city will be liable the longer you try to keep the college running. Just imagine the PR disaster. “City Council is using Greendale Community College as a Marijuana farm?”

Carl turned to Richie and said, “The school is in a really bad shape.”

Richie said to Carl, “I guess that’s what happens when you used the time you are supposed to check on the administration to eat chicken wings and drink beer.”

“Gentlemen, I pity you guys.” Frankie said with a sympathetic tone, which made both Richie and Carl calm down a bit. Richie said, “It’s fine Miss Dart. We’re the one at fault here. I understand that your company cannot invest in the college because of the liability issue and it cannot be associated with the college either because of the potential fallout from the drug case.”

Frankie nodded and said, “Gentlemen, I understand the difficult position this puts you in. If I were you, I'd cut off the institution like a gangrenous limb, saving the city council from the potential backlash it could cause.”

Carl said in frustration, “We want to, but we can’t.”

Richie added, “We wanted to sell this place a long time ago. But we couldn’t find any buyer. If the city closes down the place on our own, there’ll be backlash. If we don't, we can incur more problems.”

“Hmmm…” Frankie pretended to think and said, “There’s one more solution you can try. But– Forget it, I don’t think it can happen.”

Both of the city reps asked urgently, “Please tell us!”

“You can get rid of the institution for cheap. Our company can offer the city to buy out the institution and close it down for you. That way, we’ll be the one who’d bear the brunt of the backlash.” Frankie said. 

She added with a caring, yet difficult tone, “But, you understand why I don’t think this can happen. The risk is too great. Unless the price is really…REALLY low, then, I don’t think that I can convince the management to take that risk. If anything, we can just sell the land and the property to recover the money after shutting down the college. We won’t lose that much in this transaction.”

“You want us to sell the college…to you…?” Richie couldn’t believe his ears. Carl suddenly shouted,  “SOLD! We can go as low as 3 million dollars for the entire thing.” He stood up and offered a handshake to Frankie.

“Deal!” Frankie stood up and shook his hand immediately. The property alone was worth more than 2.5 million dollars. Richie looked at Frankie and Carl with disbelief before he shook his head and said, “Well, It’s too late to back out now.”

“Bring the sale contract tomorrow. We’ll transfer the money and handle the problem for you.” Frankie said before she left the room. She passed by the Dean as she got out of the room, and he asked excitedly, “Did you guys come to an agreement?”

“Yes.” Frankie smiled kindly at the Dean, making him misunderstand the situation. She wanted to leave, but when she had already taken a few steps away from the dean, she stopped and slowly backtracked towards him. 

Remembering what Edward told her about the Dean being a level 6 susceptible, it could be damaging to the plan if he was left alone. Frankie asked him, “Um, I wonder if there’s a place here I could stay in and watch TV?”

The dean became excited, “Oh, come with me! I’ll show you where I usually take my afternoon break.”