Chapter 233: Frustrated. (Patreon)
Content
(why is patreon so laggy nowadays)
[Edward POV]
Ring Ring Ring
In the living room, I set up my laptop on top of the coffee table while I sat on the couch, reading Percy Jackson and the Olympian Book 1 – The Lightning Thief, and I called someone.
Bling The person on the other side picked up the Skype call.
“Hi.” Alex answered lazily as she propped her head with one hand. She was using the family laptop in the living room to do her homework.
“Have you read the books?” I asked her while showing the Percy Jackson books to the screen.
“No.” She replied with slight interest. “Is it goo-”
“You’re useless then. Goodbye.” I said as I cut the call.
“HEY! THAT’S RUDE! –” She protested.
Then, I dialed another number, which was the experimental physicist that likes to read. Leonard answered it while holding a pizza slice in his hand, “Hello?”
“Pizza night?” I asked.
“Yeah, wanna join us?” He asked with a smile. I saw Sheldon sitting on his usual spot, and I said playfully, “I’ll come if you’ll let me sit at Sheldon's sitting right now.”
“Then you’re in for a disappointment, because I’ll never give up my spot to a teenage pop star with attitude issues.” Sheldon retorted from afar.
“The only person here who has issues is you…” I snarked back, and then I realized, “Wait. All of you guys there have issues.” I nodded pitifully, which made Howard and Raj burst out in anger, “We don’t have issues! We’re normal.”
“Really? One is too horny, one has selective mutism. Also, the latent homosexual feelings you guys have towards one another? That can be seen as plain as day.”
Leonard turned to his friend and looked at them with disbelief, while trying to figure out how he had never seen that before. Sheldon also did the same thing, but he was just curious on whether that was true.
Both of them spat out their food. Howard said defensively, “We don’t have latent homosexual feelings towards one another?!”
“Yeah, tell him Howard!” Rajesh shouted.
“I see.” I said, but my face still showed that I wasn’t believing them.
“I swear to god! I’m a ladies man! I’m not gay!” Howard said while walking towards the laptop, bringing his face closer to the screen, slowly becoming unhinged.
“Hey Guys! I thought I smelled pizza.” Penny opened the door and entered the apartment.
“If you don’t believe me, then I’ll prove it to you!” Howard whispered before he resolutely walked to Penny.
Penny looked at him with disdain and said coldly, “What?” She was clenching her fist too, ready to strike him the moment he crossed the line.
“Nevermind.” Howard shirked back and returned to his seat. Leonard laughed out loud, which made Penny ask, “Why are you so happy– Wait, Hi Edward!”
“Hi Penny.” I greeted casually. She was bending down to greet me, and was wearing a low cleavage shirt, so I could peek into her dress. “Did Leonard call you? What did he make you do? Settle a bet?” She asked.
Leonard chuckled and said, “He’s the one who called, just to make us realize that Howard and Raj may have latent homosexual feelings for one another.”
“Stop talking about it!” Howard shouted begrudgingly. Rajesh tried to whisper in his ears as he couldn’t say anything with a woman present, which made Howard get startled and said, “You whispering in my ears are not helping our case right now.”
“Ohh. You know what? I had a hunch about that when I saw the way they were dressed.” Penny joined in.
Howard exploded, and he stormed off the apartment with Leonard laughing at him. He only did it for a few seconds before coming back in. “I still haven’t finished my dinner yet.” He muttered pitifully.
Rajesh in the meantime managed to blurt out, but only towards Sheldon, “What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed!?”
“Penny, as much as I love to see what’s under your shirt, can I talk to Leonard? I can call you back next time for us to continue this lovely interaction.” I said as Penny kept hogging the camera.
“Ah!” Penny burst into laughter and covered up her cleavage. “I didn’t realize that. Also, we’re not continuing anything.” She said playfully.
Leonard and Howard realized it based on the angles, and muttered begrudgingly, “You ungrateful bastard.”
I ignored them and asked, “Which one of you have read the Percy Jackson books before?”
They looked at each other to see if anyone was raising their hands up, but none did.
“Damn it. Aren’t you guys like nerds? Why haven’t any of you read the books? Especially you Shelly Cooper. I’m so disappointed in you.” I said angrily.
Sheldon was confused as to why I was berating him, and he corrected me, “First of all. I’m Dr Sheldon Cooper. Only my mother can call me Shelly. Secondly, the target audience for the books is teenagers. I’m already an adult.”
I looked at him with disbelief and asked, “Seriously? Now take a close look around your apartment, and then say that statement again.”
Penny laughed out loud and said, “Oh my god, you guys are the target audience.”
“Sorry Ed. Looks like we can’t help you with your problem. What is it you want to ask anyway?” Leonard asked apologetically.
“Well I want to ask about the current adaptation of the book into a movie, and I can’t really do it without spoiling you about the storyline.”
“Wait. They are making it into a movie?” Howard asked curiously.
"It's still in progress. 20th Century Fox hasn't officially begun yet. I really want to discuss the adaptation with someone, but so far, none of the people I know have read the books," I explained.
"Oh, umm... Why don't you call us back tomorrow? I promise I'll go and buy the books tonight. We can discuss it tomorrow. I think I can finish one of the books in a day," Leonard suggested.
"Me too," Sheldon chimed in.
"I don't think I'll have time tomorrow. I have to go to a film set," I replied, feeling disappointed. Just then, I received a call from Alex.
"I have to go now. I'll talk to you later," I waved goodbye to the guys. However, Penny stopped me by grabbing the laptop and moving it away from the guys.
"I'm throwing a party this Sunday... Wait, I don't think I can invite you," Penny backtracked after realizing I was still in high school and there would be alcohol and drunken guests at the party.
"So you're just rubbing it in my face?" I asked, feeling incredulous.
Penny looked startled but then smiled mischievously. "Not what I meant, but sure. It's too bad for you. There will be plenty of pretty girls there."
"Unfortunately for you, I'm throwing a party too. You know, just for the young people," I teased with a smirk. "You oldies can't come."
"O-Old? I'm only 22 years old," Penny protested.
I disconnected the call before she could finish her sentence and answered Alex's call. There, I could see Alex sitting with Phil.
"Hi Ed," Phil greeted warmly, waving his hand.
Alex rolled her eyes and said, "Didn't you say you were going to talk to him about his attitude?"
"Why would he? Your dad and I are besties," I replied, making Phil beam with pride and Alex look gloomy.
"That doesn't even make any sense," she retorted.
Phil interrupted and said, "Hey Ed, I heard you're looking for someone who's read the Percy Jackson books. Well, I've got you covered. I've read the first three." He proudly displayed his well-worn books, marked with signs of heavy use.
I smiled and said, "Thank goodness I found someone. That's great, Phil. I've only finished reading the first one."
Alex rolled her eyes, crossed her arms, and disdainfully remarked, "You've only finished one book, and you're already eager to show off?"
"Yeah, so for those who HAVEN'T read the books yet, you can go away now."
"Ugh!" Alex grumbled in dissatisfaction before storming off. “You know what? I’ll make sure to read all 5 books before you. And you can’t even do anything about it since you are so busy!” Alex threatened and mocked.
Phil smiled and said, "You've read The Lightning Thief, right? Wasn't the twist surprising?"
"Yeah, people don't find out that Luke was the thief until the end," I replied, feeling frustrated about the way the movie adaptation had been handled in my previous world.
The whole movie felt like a giant middle finger to the creator, Rick Riordan. From the casting choices to the misrepresentation of characters' personalities, such as combining Annabeth and Clarisse's characters in the first movie, portraying Grover as overly lustful, and the overall adaptation of the books, it was quite disappointing.
“Say Phil, what do you think about adapting this book into a movie?” I asked him while slowly getting to my point.
Phil was excited and he said, “I think it’ll be pretty good. The books are great, so I am looking forward to the movie. Why did you ask? Wait— Are your studio’s the ones making it!?”
“I wish!” I muttered, dissatisfied.
“Why do you look annoyed?” Phil asked.
“It’s…I think it’s better if you see the screenplay for the movie first.” I said as I emailed the document to Phil.
From his initial excitement, Phil’s smile suddenly disappeared, and he became more and more annoyed as he read the screenplay I had Robin hack from the movie’s screenwriter.
“Hydra? What about the Chimera? What about all the stuff about Gods who ignored their children? What about the duel with Ares?” Phil criticized the screenplay heavily.
“At the final battle against Luke, he flew to the sky? Doesn't the screenwriter know that Luke cannot fly or enter the sky, which is Zeus’s domain, as the son of Poseidon? He will get struck down instantly! That’s why Rick gave his shoes to his friends in the first place.” Phil continued.
I was finally relieved when I had someone that shared the same sentiment about the adaptation. We complained about a lot of things about the movie, for almost an entire hour.
“Why? WHY? Ed? Can you tell me why they decided to botch everything about the book?” Phil asked, disgruntled.
“Honestly, maybe it’s because of Alexandra Daddario.” I replied.
“Who?” Phil asked, confused. Then, I showed the actress’s picture to the screen. “I mean, she’s pretty hot. So maybe that’s why the studio decided to not cast a 12 year old and cast her instead.”
“I can see that.” Phil said, visibly admiring the 23 years old actress.
“See what?” Suddenly, Claire appeared behind Phil, startling him. He straight away closed the picture tab, which confused me because it wasn’t as if he was caught looking at pictures of naked women.
“H-Hey Honey. You’re home.”
“Mitch and Cam are already home, so I don’t need to babysit anymore.” Claire replied. “Honey, did you remember to pick up the dry cleaning?” She asked Phil.
“Yeah, it’s in the kitchen.” Phil replied with a nervous face. “What’s wrong?” Claire asked her with confusion.
“N-Nothing. I was just talking about Percy Jackson books with Ed.” He replied.
“I’m going to go now.” I chimed in. Claire finally saw me and said, “Goodnight Ed.”
“Goodnight Claire. And Goodnight Alexandra Ddadario super fan.” I said as I waved them goodbye. I saw Claire turned her head towards Phil with suspicions, and Phil gave me a hard look. “Why would you say that?” He exclaimed, but I just smiled and cut the call.
Before I could continue with the second book, Haley called through Skype too. She complained as soon as I picked up the call, “Why did you make it your life goals to create more drama in my family?”
“Why? Are they fighting?” I asked with a chuckle.
“No. Sorry to disappoint you, but they are not.” Haley groaned with disbelief. She was in her room alone, and used her own laptop to call me. She tied her hair to the side, and was wearing a purple blouse. She then asked, “If you went as Batman, what should I go as for Halloween?”
“It depends. Do you want to go as something sexy, or adorable?”
“Why not both? I can do both.” She smiled mischievously as she posed. She tilted her chin forward and placed her fingers fluttering underneath it while looking at the camera at 45 degree angles.
“Hmm…I still haven’t seen it yet. Maybe you should do a lot more poses for me to see if you really are sexy and adorable.” I flirted.
Then, I realized something and quickly changed the way I was speaking and said flatly, “Wait. No, you are what you think you are.”
“Hmm?” Haley was confused. Then, she decided to test me, “I was thinking of going as Harley Quinn. Then, you can spend the entire night trying to arrest me. Thoughts?”
“Um.” I tried really hard not to fall for that bait, and said, “I won’t arrest you since you haven’t done any crime.” I was so disappointed in myself for saying that.
Haley widened her eyes with disbelief and she asked worriedly, “Why are you being so weird? Did I do something wrong?”
“Nothing. You haven’t done anything.” I placated her nervously before I let out a heavy sigh.
“Alright. I have a question for you. Let's say that, you can date anyone you want in the world–”
“I like where this is going.” She interjected. “Sorry. Go on.”
I smiled wryly and added, “But, no matter what you do, you’ll break up with them after 3 months. That includes, even if you guys were in love with each other.”
“Is this for a new movie your company is going to make?” Haley was confused, “If they fall in love with each other, then why did they break up?”
“Let’s just say, the guy has a curse on him, and he can’t ever be with anyone. All of his relationships will end badly. It is for a movie, so just humor me for a second.”
“Hmm….” Haley mulled over the situation for a while before she asked, “In that movie, does the guy who gets into the relationship knows that it’s going to end badly?”
“He doesn’t know, at the beginning. But, he knows now.” I replied.
“Now?” Haley asked, puzzled.
“I mean, after the first few relationships that had crashed and burned.” I explained.
“Hmm…” Smoke almost came out of her ears as she thought about the situation. “I gave up. Why don’t you ask Uncle Mitch and Uncle Cam? They usually have unusually strong opinions about a love story. I’ll add them to the call.”
“Wait, you don’t have to do that–” I tried to stop her, but the call was already connected.
“Hello? Haley, Edward? What are you guys doing? Date night?” Cameron giggled as he teased, his face was a bit red because he went on a night out with Sal just before.
“Uncle Cam. Where’s Uncle Mitchell?” Haley asked.
“You guys are drunk.” I said.
“I drank a little bit. But Mitch didn’t because he needed to drive home. We alternate who gets to drink when we are on a night out.” Cam explained before he called his life partner. Mitchell appeared on the screen and said, “Shush! Talk slowly. Lily has just fallen asleep.”
“Ed has a question about his new movie.” Haley whispered, “ The main character– the guy, has a curse on him, that will make him break up with someone after 3 months. That includes, even if they had fallen in love with one another.”
“Oh, that sounds interesting.” Mitchell said as he looked into my screen. Cam thought seriously and said, “It’s alright. It’s not really at a great movie level…but you can watch that to pass the time. I’m sorry. What’s the question again?”
“The question is, if you can date anyone in the world, but you know that you’re going to end up hurting them after 3 months, would you still?” Haley asked.
Mitchell looked at me and asked, “So…the guy knows about it?”
Haley interjected, “He doesn’t know at the beginning for the first few relationships. Or maybe, the movie starts after the relationship has already ended, and he figured out that he has the curse.”
“I’m sorry. Why are you adding so many details to the story?” I looked at Haley with disbelief. She shrugged playfully and said, “It’s kinda fun to think about.”
She was immersed into the storyline, and so did Mitchell.
Mitchell said, “So, he…knew? Huh. And right now, he likes a girl, and he can’t do anything because he knows that he’s going to hurt her?”
Cam added, fully immersed now, “But, if he doesn’t do anything. He’s going to lose her.”
“And if they knew each other before they were dating, and she’s already in love with her, she’s going to be hurt either way.” Mitchell said excitedly. “Oh my god, the potential drama in this. Um…”
Haley chimed in, “Wait. He’s going to hurt her no matter what? Then, isn’t this a cruel movie?”
Cam said, “That’s what makes it a great movie. The ethical conundrum in this. What does the guy actually do? He loves her, but he can’t be with her. The world is cruel on him, but if he actually did date her, he’s the one being cruel.”
“Oh my god Cam. I feel like crying.” Mitchell said as he held back his tears. “I can totally see Ryan Gosling holding back his tears as he saw that the girl will be happier with someone else.”
“Now you make me wanna cry.” Haley said as tears pooled in her eyes too.
Cam said, “The movie should be called ‘Love Countdown’. Oh I got goosebumps now.”
“Ed. What do you think?” Haley turned towards me, and was shocked when she saw my despondent expression. Even my face was a bit pale.
I tried to smile and said, “Um…I still don’t know if we’re going to make the movie yet. I do love to talk more, but I have to wake up early to go to the film set tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.”
I said as I cut the call without even hearing their response. Then, my head dropped into the desk and I let out a huge groan. “Uuughhrhh.”
…
[General POV]
After Edward left the call, Haley and her guncles looked blankly at each other.
“What’s wrong with him?” Cam asked with ignorance.
Mitchell shrugged and said, “It is quite late. Maybe he has a really early filming for tomorrow. Haley, you’re okay?”
Haley snapped out of her thoughts and muttered worriedly, “Does he look okay to you? It seemed that whatever we were talking about, really spooked him out.”
“Wait! I got it!” Cam suddenly shouted. “SHHH!!” Mitchell shushed him greatly as he was worried that the noise would wake Lily up.
“Sorry.” Cam whispered again. “Maybe he’s immersing himself in the story as part of his method acting. He might be, playing the main role in this himself.”
“Oh, I would really like it if he became the main character. I wanna see him act on the big screen. I always know he is great at acting.” Mitchell supported Cam’s theory.
“You know what we should do? We should call Pepper. He will know more about it.” Cam said.
Haley fell for her uncle's theory and said, “Oh, he’s playing this himself. That might explain why he looks like that.”
Later that night, Mitch and Cam called Pepper to ask him about the movie. Pepper was confused at first, and then fell in love with the movie idea, and immediately called the screenwriters in the company to see if they had a movie like that.
Without Edward knowing about it, the gears for the movie production were already turning, and he had missed the opportunity to stop it.