GEV 113: Troublesome Old Geezers! (Patreon)

“Old geezer Guan, I have to thank you for bringing me such a more-than-capable disciple. This old man couldn't be grateful for your undisguised act of kindness!” A thin middle-aged man with a receding hairline, dressed in black and white robes, laughed loudly.

The thin middle-aged man was Vice Head Zhang, the one in charge of the Clan Mission Division and a ‘certified’ array master - an almost irreplaceable workforce just like a master alchemist.


“Just what level of shamelessness are you trying to portray by openly stealing my disciple, you bald piece of bones!” Old Man Guan retaliated with sharp words.


Black lines of anger formed on Vice Head Zhang's shiny forehead, evidently unhappy about the emotional jab from his long-term friend even though he had already heard those words for the umpteenth time.


“Old coot, at least this old man is more handsome than you. Why are you getting rounder and rounder with each passing year?” Vice Head Zhang couldn't be left behind in terms of spitting venom.


“Y-You… Your whole family is round, your whole clan is round, even your ancestors are round!” Old Man Guan cussed out angrily to the point where he was spitting saliva.


Vice Head Zhang puffed out his chest in extreme anger and Old Man Guan also imitated him. And then like a bunch of brazen he-goats, they clashed using their heads.


Where was the established face and dignity of a master alchemist and an array master?!


How could the respectable Vice Heads act with such childish impropriety?


Zhao Wei dramatically rolled his eyes and felt like giving himself a mighty facepalm.


Through the way they were behaving, Zhao Wei could infer that, at least, their friendship should have started when they were mere youths or maybe during their childhood.


When they are in public, they maintain a dignified appearance and conduct themselves with decorum. No one would easily guess that the respected figures they admire can be so childish and brutish when conflicts arise.

Not wanting them to waste any more of his precious time, Zhao Wei coughed loudly to gather their attention.


His action proved useful as the two Vice Heads returned to their seats with embarrassed expressions.


They wished they could hide their faces there and then.


“Ahem, you weren't supposed to witness such an unsightly scene of us making a fool out of ourselves.” Vice Head Zhang released a fake cough as he tried to make the situation more serious than it previously was.



“Zhao Wei, forget everything you saw in this room. Whatever you saw remains here, are we clear?” Old Man Guan added, his cheeks reddening like tomatoes.


The image he had built should have already crumbled in the eyes of the young, once-in-a-lifetime genius!


“My lips are sealed and I think I just turned blind from seeing you two trying to burst heads with each other. With these conditions, the probability of me snitching anything is pretty much non-existent.” Zhao Wei spoke in amusement.


The two Vice Heads almost choked on their breaths as Zhao Wei's words mercilessly stabbed their hearts and consciences.


Too ruthless!



The two old geezers fell silent.


Zhao Wei mildly smiled. The initiative was his now. He currently held the reins of the conversation.



“Instead of endlessly arguing over whom I should pick as my master, isn't it better and more convenient if I study under both of you? At the end of it all, both of you will feel proud to have taught someone with limitless prospects!” Zhao Wei smoothly resolved the simple conflict. After all, the resulting outcome was going to be a win-win situation for the Vice Heads and Zhao Wei himself.


“Hmm.” Both Old Man Guan and Vice Head Zhang looked at each other, their eyes easily communicating whatever they had in mind.


“It's a brilliant idea. I am going to pretend I didn't hear that one cocky line of yours!” Vice Head Zhang smiled in satisfaction as he gazed at the interesting junior before him.


He was the first person to ever decipher the whole Nine Picture Array without as much sweating or struggling.

Nine Picture Array was an ever-changing model that he had prepared together with other array masters. It held the essence of various experienced minds and its level of profundity was something that had forced many disciples to stop only at the Third Picture.

Fully deciphering and interpreting the masterpiece of a couple of array masters was something beyond the realm of genius.


Vice Head Zhang wondered what sort of luck Elder Hai Yun had to have such a monstrous individual as his disciple.


Even so, he couldn't wait to impart the ways of array construction to the eager youngster.


Unlike most, Zhang didn't see any problem with Zhao Wei pursuing whatever he wanted.


There wasn't a rule stating that one could only follow one path. The prerequisite was if you had the capability to continuously set your adventurous spirit ablaze and keep going forward.


Elder Zhang reminisced that once he had been such a wild, adventurous spirit but reality had a way of slapping people's faces into self-awareness.



"Between the Dao of Alchemy and the Dao of Arrays/Formation, which are you going to start with? I'd recommend you to begin with pill-making. You'll get rich quickly compared to dabbling in arrays," Old Man Guan coaxed Zhao Wei, all the while not forgetting to playfully tease Old Zhang.


"Stinky old man, who told you array masters are poor peasants? Young boy, don't listen to his shriveling nonsense. Begin with the study of Arrays, and before long, you will easily be commanding Heaven and Earth," Vice Head Zhang spouted nonsense with a straight face.

Commanding Heaven and Earth via setting up arrays? That was a realm of formation attainment that he had yet to achieve in this lifetime, and the probability was extremely abysmal. In fact, it deserved to be a myth.


Old Man Guan was preparing for a comeback but Zhao Wei acted fast.


“I think I would start with Alchemy as it was the first thing I hadn't wanted to pursue after seeing the wonders a pill can do.” Zhao Wei's tone carried finality. There wasn't room for dilly-dallying.


And seeing how stone-faced he was, the two Vice Heads knew not to stretch the subject.


“Tsk tsk, you are truly lucky, Old Man Guan.” Vice Head Zhang clicked his tongue in feigned dissatisfaction.


“I have always been lucky, my friend.” Old Man Guan flashed a smug, toothy grin.


“Your turn will arrive. Just learn to be patient and steady hehe.”


Seeing the two old coots going at it again, Zhao Wei could only sigh to himself. If it weren't for his thirst for more versatile knowledge, he wouldn't have wanted to engage with these troublesome old-timers.


***