Story 9 - Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention (Part 2) (Patreon)

“Peak Elder Grass Sprout greets Senior Lin.”

“Good to see you again, Little Grass Sprout.”

Her lips twitched. “You as well. You’ve grown since the Demonic Vine Mission.”

I straightened my back to show off my height. Compared to her, I was a few centimeters taller. “It’s only natural.”

She hesitated then asked, “Is Sword Master Salamander not coming with us?”

I grinned. “He’s a Grandmaster now. He reached Nascent Soul equivalent several months ago. But his peak elder threw him into a special forbidden area with other grandmasters for training.”

Her smile turned a bit regretful. “It sounds like he’ll be away for a decade.”

Did… Grass Sprout have a little crush on my past life’s mentor? That concerned technique-obsessed, oblivious-in-certain-ways, guy? Well, I wished her luck. He was worse than me in my anti-relationship mindset, in that I’d never seen him even hint at being attracted to anyone or anything.

“I think that’s enough for introductions.” After straightening my back, I looked everyone in the eye. “We only have two weeks, so let’s make the most of our time!”

The three Golden Core alchemists hid their expressions, but they stealthily glanced toward me like they could not believe what I’d just said after being so late.

Whatever. I was in a hurry to enjoy my vacation. And I especially wanted to make some spirit stones.

My current cultivation was only at the beginning third of Foundation Establishment, because I couldn’t earn them fast enough. When my Phoenix Constitution partially activated, it lifted some of the constraints that other cultivators experienced. But more than that, the purity and density of my internal Qi shot way the fuck up. More than I initially thought. What all of this meant was that, to increase my realm, I needed more and purer energy than I’d planned for by at least ten times!

No matter what, I had to earn those high tier spirit stones to speed up my cultivation! Well, mine and the brat’s since we still cultivated back to back.

Peak Master Enduring Flame faced everyone. “We’re going to a special location called the Island of Alchemy. Due to its great distance, even in Immortal Bone Creation expert, like myself, would take two full years to reach it. Even our Indomitable Will Sect had to save for an entire year to send us there and back. Other groups took a whole decade. Of course, the reason we’re still able to attend after the demonic cultists attacked us is because the sect already had these funds set aside for us.”

“We’d also lose face if we didn’t go.” I pointed out.

A vicious grin spread across his face. “Very True, Little Senior Lin. We can’t allow our sect to lose face or the others will assume we’re weak and pounce.” His strange flames jerked around as if they were struggling in a sharp wind. “While we’d utterly destroy them, no one wants a senseless war that will only drain our resources and make it easier for the demonic cultivators to increase their strength.

“Now, if you have any questions later, you can ask Peak Elder Grass Sprout since she’s a regular at the convention.”

He gestured to the circle where the teleportation formation had been set up. “Disciples of the Indomitable Will Sect, let’s head out!”

We all gathered near the center of the formation.

Little Spring grabbed my sleeve and smiled sheepishly. “The last time we teleported, I almost blacked out.”

I grimaced, then wrapped my arm around his. Even though he’d be in middle school if he were on Earth, a kid was still a kid. “If you think you might need support, then don’t be scared and ask for it. While we might be in Foundation Establishment now, that doesn’t mean we can’t be affected by a long-distance teleportation like this.” I glanced back at the three girls behind me. “That goes for you, too. Lean on each other. I’d rather have the other groups think the Indomitable Will Sect is overly friendly than have them believe we almost passed out from our trip.”

I stared at the three Golden Core level women until they hooked arms.

“Well said, Little Senior Lin.” Enduring Flame’s lips twitched like he was holding back a smile. “I’m glad I decided to come this year. I have a feeling it will be interesting.”

The teleportation process was similar to the platform version, just more dangerous. If the flags weren’t placed exactly right, it was possible that we’d all die. Which was why I double-checked Four Direction Eagle’s positioning with my divine sense. Everything checked out.

The ground beneath my feet vanished as if my legs were kicked out from under me. But I had stayed perfectly still while holding the brat.

Since this teleportation was a longer one, we spent a long time in a pulled-under-a-riptide-like state before my feet touched the ground. I made sure Little Spring could stand on his own, then released him.

In the place where we’d landed, a sea breeze blew past while the honking of seagulls surrounded us. Palm fronds rustled. To our left, a dark blue sea stretched out toward the horizon, filled with immortal boats from all over the world.

But the most noticeable thing about our new environment was the woman who wore the blue and orange uniform of the Alchemist Convention attendants. Her perfect professional smile showed straight white teeth. She held her hands in front of her while hiding them inside her sleeves.

She must have been holding that position for hours thanks to our… er, my tardiness.

Oops.

When she saw us, she bowed respectfully.

“Assistant Lina welcomes the Indomitable Will sect to the Island of Alchemy. I’m here to guide and assist you during your stay.”

“We look forward to working with you,” Grass Sprout said. “We’re already late. Let’s hurry and set up our building at the convention site.”

“For security purposes, we’ve changed how we do things this decade. You’ll have to take your invitations and exchange them for a jade token that will prove your identity while you’re here. We will also provide a helpful schedule that lets each of you know what lectures are happening, where to go, and when they’re taking place.”

Grass Sprout’s smile faltered. “Are you kidding?”

Lina nodded, spun and walked toward a group of orange buildings with hip-and-gable roofs clustered together. “This way, please.”

It didn’t take long before we stood in a long line where various different groups queued. I turned to Lina and raised both brows. “As late as we were, shouldn’t this line be empty?”

She still wore her professional smile as she said, “The token creation line appears to be having some… difficulty with their new process.”

Ah, the Alchemy Convention. The only place that dares make Immortal Bone Creation experts wait in line for their con badge.

“But don’t worry,” she said melodically. “They will clear things up soon. After all, Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention.”

I nodded. What nostalgic words.

Everyone else in our group became very quiet for a moment.

“Excuse me. I’ll make sure everything goes well.” Lina bowed before quickly rushing off, looking like she had a fire to douse.

Little Spring jerked toward me. ::Sister Lin, isn’t what she said a very weird?::

::What? No, that’s just what they always say. Don’t worry about it. Everything’s good.::

He tugged on my sleeve. When I glanced down, he gave me a skeptical look.

I sighed. ::Alright. I used to think it was weird too, but they’re right. Nothing bad ever happens. In the thousand years I’ve been going, I can’t think of one single terrible incident.::

::That… that’s even more suspicious! How could nothing awful happen for that long?::

I shrugged. ::This is Alchemists’ Association we are talking about, not some mysterious cult.:: I noticed that everyone but us had moved up a couple of places. ::Don’t worry about it. Now, come on, we’re falling behind.::

His jaw hardened. Fuck. I knew that look. This protagonist was about to get into trouble. I had to stop him before he did something stupid, like find a rare material somewhere deep in the island, take it into his space causing the whole piece of land to break up… or whatever. Xianxia protagonists were the most destructive when they were greedy… or curious.

::Okay. Sure. Their little saying sounds like brainwashing::

He gave me a look like he couldn’t believe I’d dissented, then just agreed with him.

::But what good company didn’t brainwash their customers and employees with cute sayings like that? Huh?::

Milk, It Does a Body Good. What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Nothing Bad Ever Happens at the Alchemy Convention.

All the same… except that the first two were lies.

And sure, Lina looked like a bad blue and orange-themed knock-off of Joo Dee from Ba Sing Se, but that didn’t mean anything weird would go down at this con!

This was one of the few places my paranoid ass could relax a bit. I was not letting anything ruin this for me.

::I still don’t trust this place.:: He pointed to the cultivators in front of us who were grinning or chatting animatedly while in line. ::Everyone here is too happy.::

::Of course they’re happy! They’re at a convention! They can finally talk with like-minded individuals. If you throw an alchemy question to this crowd, you’ll get them shouting back the answer… though some may ask for a price in exchange.::

He shook his head. ::Something isn’t right here.::

Fuck. Well, I had to follow my Transmigrated into a Novel Club Rules. Number 4 - Always stay on the main character’s side, even if the odds seem bad.

But that sounded like a lot of unnecessary trouble and shenanigans when I just wanted to go on a fucking vacation. ::Tell you what. As long as you don’t piss off a high-realm cultivator, this Con is the safest place you’ll ever visit. So, why not investigate this once we’re inside? But don’t go putting random treasures into your space::

He nodded, fist clenched in determination.

::And talk to Peak Master Enduring Flame and Elder Grass Sprout if you need anything, because I’m going to spend my time here relaxing, understood?::

His eyes softened. ::You do need a break. Don’t worry. You’ve trained me perfectly! I can handle this on my own or with our junior’s help.::

I grinned. ::Good.:: I paused for a second. This wouldn’t come to bite me in the ass later, would it? No. Maybe if I was somewhere else. But this was the Alchemy Con. Nothing bad ever happened here.

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Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! You are the best readers a writer could ask for! Since the option to finish editing Story 9 Part 2 won in the poll, that’s what I did!

I have not forgotten the April Fools Story and I plan to write more of it eventually. Considering how I need to finish the rough draft for Book 1 of Tanking Hits and all of AA (this other story I’ve been writing off and on for the past two years that I’m waiting to post to RR sometime in September/October), I likely won’t get to it until next year.

I'll have to decide if I'm going to create a different Patreon for those stories or add them to this one, but that will be for Future Dragon to decide with input from you all.

I have to say, it’s fun to see Little Spring getting older and seeing him actively do things on his own.

You may have noticed but this chapter was smaller than normal by about 200-300 words even though I’d started with the usual amount (that might be me needing to edit less now that I’m taking my time with the writing side of things). I could have added some words from the next scene, but I’d rather end cleanly on a scene break. I’ll try to make next week’s chapter larger to make up for it.

Editing a longer chapter next week is also a problem for future Dragon! 😎