CAT (Patreon)

This is my take on a TF request by octuscle.

I guess it's kind of like what magicians feel like. Sure, you can train all you like in your bedroom, and you can do it in front of your mates, but when you do it for real, for a real audience you get the same jitters before the trick and a certain rush after it. No one noticed how I did the misdirection, how I lifted the phone and stashed it in my pocket in a smooth motion that started well before and ended well after those two events, making it seem completely unrelated and hiding the true intent. I was well out of their sight long before they realized they'd been pickpocketed.

I should have just held the power button to shut it down, make it untraceable until the nerds can open it up, make it lose its mind, and become resellable. Not as a luxury phone as it once was perhaps, but good enough for someone short on cash who was willing to not think too hard about where they got their goods. I should have, but it was like a reflex to press the unlock button once I fished up the phone from my pocket, safe some blocks away. "Chronivac Anti-theft Technology" flashed on the screen and a timer counted down from 10. "Enter pin to deactivate." I frantically pressed and held the power button in various combinations with no effect. Would the phone report its position? I could just leave. Would it make a noise? Wouldn't matter here, and again, I could just leave.

It did make a short, high-pitched screeching sound and it kind of twisted in my hand. Not like the vibrator went off. More like a static shock, but not quite that either. The sound when it landed on the ground surprised me. A dull rattle and not the normal crisp sound of an iPhone maybe shattering on the stones. Even more surprising was the yellow rubber case with the black Caterpillar CAT logo on the ground. Confused I picked it up and turned it over to find a feature phone in the case, with physical keyboard and all, and on the screen words were scrolling by faster than I could read. I managed some words like "dumber", "stronger", and "stoner". As I stared at the words "manual laborer" I had a nagging feeling I should know what it meant, and that perhaps it wasn't the scrolling speed by the reading speed that was the problem.

The screen then said "Wipe complete. All data secured." and turned black.

I tried to remember why I was standing in an empty back alley, but couldn't come up with a good reason. I adjusted my wifebeater inside my dungarees. Dungarees are great because you can play with your balls whenever, but the top isn't really held in place, so it can show you go commando if you aren't careful. I might as well smoke a joint while I figure out where I should be.