Plentyn Cael Academy (Patreon)

There was no owl. Apart from that it was functionally the same as getting a letter from Hogwarts. Mum had arrived home early, at the same time the mailman passed our house, and brought the envelope to my room.

“Mail for you, Michael honey. Looks like someone want you after all.”

It was still early days, but so far he hadn’t received a single college acceptance letter. The envelope looked mundane enough to be any commercially sent paper mail from any college. “Plentyn Cael Academy” printed on the left and a simple “Postage paid” on the right side. What a weird name. He had never heard of Plentyn Cael before, and certainly never applied there, so he was already suspecting a scam or some sort of trick before even opening it. His impression didn’t improve as he begun to read the cover letter.

“Dear Michael,

It is with great pleasure I write to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to the Plentyn Cael Academy. On behalf of the faculty and staff I congratulate you on this accomplishment and want to emphasize the select nature of the Academy. I must apologize for the secretive process our candidates are selected, but it is my sincere hope it was concluded unnoticed, with minimal disruptions and discomfort.

For over 200 years the Plentyn Cael Academy has been a nurturing home for gifted individuals to unlock their potential to the fullest. Our students come from diverse backgrounds and abilities, from young practitioners to unaware gifted. What all our students have in common is the potential to become something great, and to use that greatness to build a better life in a better world. Enclosed is the course catalog for your education program.

We are dedicated to supporting you all the way to achieve academic success and beyond. To begin this road there are a few steps you need to complete to officially become enrolled as a student at Plentyn Cael Academy.”

The letter continued with a series of administrative bullets to complete. All very normal looking, with the possible exception of education financing, which claimed all direct tuition and housing costs covered. It was the course catalog that sent this from plausible mystery into well executed prank.

“The Changeling Charter, now often referred to as the transformation program, traces its origin back to the very first class of the Plentyn Cael Academy.” It went on to describe in increasingly implausible terms how its students could transform not only their own bodies, but others as well. Finally it described in meticulous details the disposition of three years of study, as if it was real. This was as well crafted as any role playing campaign he’d ever read.

First year went through the basics in large, sequential blocks. “Ethics, Law and Treaties”, “Fundamentals of transformations”, “Human biology”, and “Manners and mannerisms”.

Second year was split into more of a traditional schedule with courses like “Gender studies”, “Ethnology and Anthropology”, “Advanced biomechanics”, “Ticks and gestures”, “Voice and Dialects” to name a few. There were some flexibility in the second half to selection optional classes.

Finally the third year all pretense of realism went out the window, and you could chose a specialization from a set of four. “Spycraft and Warfare”, “Acting and reenacting”, “Animals and mythical beasts”, and “Healing and alterations”. All with their own little descriptions with history, major courses, job opportunities etc. Field agent and private clinic surgeon were straight forward, but some of the other job titles were clearly made up.

As if it wasn’t over the top yet, there was a final paper with lower print quality from the student club detailing its various activities. It was just getting silly at some points, with really well made, but absurd photoshops and zany lines like “No drinking in bodies under 21″. The final section read

“And here, we have our cheerleading team raising money for transforming uniforms by having a car wash during the holiday season! They’re showcasing their abilities by changing into whoever the customer would tip the most! Our school team, the Changers, may be banned from all competitions but the exhibition matches really fire up the school spirit! Our cheerleaders are a key part of that!“

As he stuffed all the documents back into the envelope, he wondered what he should do with it all. Keep it, for sure. It was such a well made prank. Perhaps he should call Jon and show it to him before dinner? If it wasn’t he who sent it, he would certainly find it just as funny and impressive as he did. The front door opened and closed again, and heard his mothers voice.

“Michael honey, I’m home. Did you already bring in the mail?”

He ripped out the contents of the envelope with trembling hands and started re-reading it all from the top. There was no owl. This was so much cooler.

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