Neighvember pieces! Nov 1-9 prompts (Patreon)

Hi all, sorry for the silence the last few days. I was working on my pieces for a november challenge I saw on instagram called Neighvember. The list was showing off horses from history, myth and media and it looked like a lot of fun!

Unfortunately, due to getting sick and future holiday planning coming up, I won't be able to complete the entire list. But here is what I've done so far, and it's something to be proud of, I think!

Small vent incoming! 

I still find it difficult at times to be okay with not drawing. I tried posting again on my instagram account and it reminded how crappy the place makes me feel. There's no real community I'm part of its only  "draw the thing that's pretty or popular." 

I feel with this challenge I pushed myself to draw scenes I normally wouldn't, but the whole aesthetic that instagram encourages definitely makes me feel like my art isn't pretty and dynamic. The constant feeds it shows me is digital pieces have to be beautiful and complete and a certain level of "finished" and traditional art is presented as reels with well placed images of marker/paint and locations. For example: some videos are like "go to a cafe and draw, make your sketchbook BEAUTIFUL, NO SKETCHES" its a sure fire way to make one lose their motivation to draw. Some of those videos are lovely and relaxing but it's definitely conditioned my brain to believe "I have to have a complete drawing in 30 SECONDS, my life is BORING cuz I don't live near cafes"

I try to be very protective now of my art and how things make me feel about it. Even without being sick I most likely would have stopped midway through this challenge, or at least posted the rest here or on tumblr. It's funny, because as a kid I always thought being popular would make things easier. Like it would somehow make my art magically better. I used to draw for attention too. Copied various anime styles, stuck with some longer than the stuff I was actually interested in because it got more attention. But when I drew something I really loved then people did notice. When my happiness shone through those pieces it didn't matter if it was popular or not. And I'm gonna sound all "boomer" like and say it feels as if social media spaces got rid of that. Doesn't matter if I really enjoyed doing a piece, if it didn't get on the algorithim or if it's not a trending tag then who cares.

You're expected to perform, and I'm tired of performing. I wanna be weird, and draw the stuff I like, regardless if others think its dumb or boring. And I appreciate everyone who is still a patron because if you leave a comment or not, like a piece or not, your presence is telling me "you keep drawing you funky little artist!"