Harry Potter and the Methods of Irrationality Ch. 4 (Patreon)

“I can't believe I agreed to this. This is insane.” Daphne repeated as Harry scrambled all around his trunk, collecting random gadgets and throwing them into his bag.

With some of the proceeds from their potions sales, he'd bought a bottomless bag second hand off a seventh year. He hadn't really wanted to, wanting to wait and make his own, but Daphne had insisted and Harry had grudgingly aquiesced.

He was very glad he'd done so now, as he just kept tossing whatever he thought could even marginally help in their goal.

And what a goal it was. Daphne began to have second thoughts as her rational mind caught up with whatever madness had overcome her back at the feast. 

They were attempting to capture a rampaging mountain troll, after all. The longer she let that phrase sink in, the more deranged it sounded.

And yet, she was still there, and when Harry tossed her his bottomless bag with no warning, she snatched it in midair with practiced ease.

“And finally, we'll bring along this little baby.” Harry said as he hoisted his transfiguration gun over his shoulders.

“We need to Hurry. The rest of the house should be close to arriving.” Daphne said.

“I still don't get why they didn't just stay in the great hall.” Harry said as they climbed out of his trunk. Once out, they ran out of the first year boy's dorm and down the stairs. As they made it out of the common room, they could hear dozens of footsteps in the distance. Exchanging nods, they ran the opposite way.

“How are we supposed to find that thing anyways?” Daphne asked. The dungeons were quite spacious, after all. The likelihood that they would bump into the troll before a teacher did was actually quite low.

But Harry's mischievous grin as his gun clanked and rattled told her he had something up his sleeve.

“That's easy, Daph. We'll just bring the troll to us.” He held up a turkey leg that he'd taken from the feast while he leaned over and searched around in her bag until he produced a headband with a small fan attached.

Daphne watched incredulously as Harry wrapped the headband around his forehead and then clicked the fan on. He held the turkey leg directly in front of the fan, spreading its aroma further.

“That is ridiculous.” Daphne said, disbelieving that Harry could think such a cartoonish idea would work.

Harry shrugged. “Sometimes you just have to keep it simple. Well, not most of the time, most of the time complicated is way better!”

They continued blindly down the dungeons, with only the sound of Harry's ridiculous mini-fan blowing air and his gun clanking about. Daphne began to relax, as she realized the longer they went, the more likely it was that the troll would be handled by the professors.

Passing by one corridor near a girl's bathroom, though, there was a sudden low, guttural sound, a sound that sent chills coursing through Daphne's entire body. Then, the very stone below them began to vibrate at intervals, what could only mean the slow, plodding footsteps of something massive. 

If Daphne had had second thoughts before, they had just been magnified exponentially. 

This was a stupid idea, they needed to turn tail and run now. 

“Found him.” Harry said cheerfully as he removed the headband and threw it into the endless bag. Daphne's knees buckled as the beast took another step. 

“Come on, Daph, we need to get him before anyone else finds him!”

Harry ran off, and despite every single ounce of common sense telling her to stay put or run in the opposite direction, Daphne followed after him.

The smell hit them well before they saw him, and Daphne covered up her nose as they turned a corner and came up on a massive, green and grey beast. It was ugly and hairy, carrying around a large club that it swung absently as it ambled in their direction.

Daphne's heart stopped as Harry knelt down and propped the gun up on his shoulder. He took aim just as the troll caught sight of them, letting out a surprised grunt before it locked in on them and Daphne felt the air leave her lungs.

Harry opened the chamber and tossed the turkey leg into it before sliding it shut. Calmly, even as the troll began to move swiftly in their direction, Harry pulled the trigger.

The gun bucked as a blast shot off in the direction of the troll. It was such a big target, and Harry had aimed for its center or mass, it was impossible to miss. The beam from the gun struck the troll smack dab in its bloated gut. 

“Hah!” Harry said with a grin as his gun worked its magic, turning a turkey leg sized portion of the troll's gut into a turkey leg.

“Huh?” Harry's face fell as the troll glanced down dumbly at its gut. It reached down and plucked the turkey leg from its belly, ignoring the trickle of blood as raw red flesh was left fully exposed. The troll inspected the leg before flicking it into its mouth and swallowing it in one gulp.

“Are you kidding me?!” Daphne yelled as she tugged at Harry's collar, pulling him away for a retreat.

“I didn't even consider that. Damn! That opens up a whole other can of worms. Do I have to make the muzzle wider? No, that won't be enough, I'll have to mess with the wiring a bit.” Harry mumbled, seeming more excited than disappointed.

“How about we focus on surviving first!” Daphne yelled as she pulled Harry back. The troll had re-focused on them, and with its massive strides, it could easily close the distance between them.

“Right.” Harry said as he began to backpedal, though he kept the gun on his shoulder as he took potshots at the troll.

One turned the top of its kneecap into a turkey leg, and the others missed wildly. 

When he pulled the trigger next, Harry heard a click. “Damn, its tapped out.” He said.

“How about you run faster?” Daphne yelled.

Harry turned around and ran along with her. They turned a corner and ducked their heads as the troll swung its club, cracking the wall and dusting them with bits of rock and debris.

Daphne glanced over her shoulder. The troll was in pursuit, and she noticed that it was scratching at its kneecap, which now had a not-insignificant wound that exposed lots of sensitive flesh.

A troll's hide was nigh-impregnable to most low-level spells. But if it had all been stripped away…

Daphne turned fully. Harry blinked at her questioningly as she set her feet. She calmed the wild throbbing of her heart as she locked in on her target. The chest was easier to hit, as it was relatively stationary in movement, but the knee was the real prize.

Daphne's eyes narrowed, she subconsciously calculated just where the troll would take its next stride, and she fired off a spell that they weren't supposed to cast until third year, but one that she'd taken extensive notes on during her tutoring.

She moved her wand in a textbook quarter turn and swish. She intoned clearly, each syllable perfectly spelled out in a confident, commanding tone.

“Bombarda!”

The blasting curse burst from her wand, her free hand supporting her wrist and dampening the recoil as a blast of crimson light shot off towards empty space. Empty space that the troll's knee occupied at the precise moment that the blasting curse sailed towards it.

“HRAAAAARGH!” The troll's screech threatened to shatter their eardrums as Daphne's spell exploded the inside of its knee. It wasn't quite strong enough to shatter its sturdy bones, but it tore through flesh, cartilage and ligament, causing a gusher of flesh and blood to spray out of its wound as the troll's leg collapsed under it.

“Woah! That was brilliant, Daph!” Harry yelled in awe.

Daphne had to suppress the urge to grin, even as she felt a swell of pride and self-satisfaction that she'd never had before. She tried to deny it, but the whole thing had been quite a thrill.

Not that it was over. The troll, now reeling in pain and absolutely irate, scraped its club across the floor as it swung blindly at them. Harry had to grab Daphne and pull her away just to barely miss being clubbed against a wall.

“I think its angry at us now,” Harry said.

“You think?” Daphne said, a delirious giggle escaping her lips. 

The troll continued to swing its club as they backed away, completely out of reach now.

“Let me see what else I can find.” Harry said as he rummaged in the bag.

“Can't use the gun?” 

“The turkey leg melted, which means it's overheated and I gotta clean up all the turkey gunk inside before it'll work- aha!” Harry pulled out a small, thin tube containing a tiny insect.

“What is that?” Daphne asked as she leaned in to take a closer look, though still keeping an eye on the injured troll.

“This little bugger is a termite. His colony was causing my uncle all kinds of problems. I nabbed a few of them and started working on making them stronger. He's the only one that survi-he's the strongest of them all. He should be able to eat through that troll like it's nothing!”

Harry pulled the cork. “Now go! Don't kill him, just bite through his wrists until he can't move his hands!”

“He understands you?” Daphne asked.

Harry nodded eagerly. “We share a special bond.”

He tipped the little vial and the termite hopped out. Daphne watched as it bounced its way forward as the troll  continued to swing its club wildly.

On the next swing, the termite bore a tiny hole right through the club, eating through the thick log of wood at a superhuman pace.

“Woah!” Daphne said as a mist of sawdust kicked up into the air.

“Told you.” Harry said proudly.

“Where exactly is it going?” Daphne asked.

The termite was moving quickly now, in the opposite direction to the troll, making a break for freedom as it nudged itself into the gap between window panes and leapt out into the cool night air.

“No!”

Daphne shook her head. “Well, at least we have some time. That big oaf isn't going anywhere.”

As soon as the words left her lips, the troll let out a grunt as it began to move its body. To the two teen's dawning horror, it slammed the club on the floor, using it to support its weight as it shakily got back on its feet.

Harry and Daphne shared incredulous looks as the troll stumbled towards them. They would easily be able to outrun it, but Daphne was far too invested now. They'd gone through too much trouble just to let the thing escape their clutches now.

She glanced down at the bag she was carrying, peering through an endless supply of junk, most of which she had no clue how it functioned.

Then she saw the pair of light switches attached to suction cups. Her mind ran a mile a minute before she was hit by a spark of inspiration.

“Put this on a torch!” She yelled as she pushed one of the switches onto Harry's chest. Harry didn't question her, he did as she asked and attached the suction cup onto one of the sconces holding up a torch.

Daphne glared up at the big brute before them. The troll continued to hobble forward, its rage superseding its pain as it tried to get its hands on the two demonic little creatures that had hurt it so.

Daphne went through her mental rolodex of spells. Clear as day, she could picture the meticulous notes she'd taken, the precise descriptions of the wand movement, the intent needed, the incantation. She didn't visualize the result of the spell so much as just that pristine, well organized page and the hours of diligent transcription it represented. 

With that fueling her intent, the swish and flick came second nature.

“Wingardium leviosa.”

Daphne levitated the lightswitch, directing it towards the troll. The beast looked more confused than anything, and it did not try to bat away the device as it floated towards its face, suction cup latching onto the bridge of its nose.

“Flip the switch!”

Harry grinned, “You got it!” He flipped the switch, and a loud tearing sound rang through the hall, followed by an explosion.

The troll stiffened, club falling from its grip as its body lurched forward.

Its face had been completely ripped off of its skull. The troll's face, shredded up into random bits and pieces, was now stuck to the wall. Meanwhile, the torch, sconce and all, had replaced the face and immediately exploded, fire and shrapnel caving the monster's skull in and killing it instantly.

The body collapsed onto the floor with an earth shattering thud. Harry jumped for joy afterwards, running to Daphne and giving her a hug.

“You were so awesome, Daphne! You should hunt vampires or something!”

Daphne had stiffened under Harry's embrace, her face going red. “That is not a proper profession, Harry.” She coughed, turning her face away. “Anyways, how are you going to take this thing away? With all the noise we've caused, I'm sure the professors are soon to arrive.”

Harry finally let go of the hug. “Right, you have a point. Can I have the bag?”

Throughout all of this, the bag was still slung over Daphne's shoulder. She tossed it over to him, and Harry placed it on the floor, burying both hands inside.

“I mean it, Daphne, I bet you'd make a really good duelist, or like a wizard cop.”

“Auror.”

“Right. You'd make a really good auror.”

Daphne turned her head away and Harry did not prod any further. Finally, he found what he needed, pulling out a picture frame with a blank canvas.

Daphne had long since learned to sit back and observe when Harry had something strange in his hands. She watched as he walked up to the dead troll, stood in front of it, and smashed the frame against the back of its head.

Daphne flinched as Harry continued to smash the canvas against the dead troll's cranium. Just when she was going to question just what the hell he was doing, Harry brought the frame down one last time, and this time, when it touched the troll, the canvas began to swirl with a strange light.

Her jaw dropped as the troll's body convulsed. It began to shimmer and liquefy into a green-brown sludge as it was sucked into the portrait. In mere moments, the giant body was gone, and when Harry turned around and held the portrait out to her, Daphne saw the previously blank canvas now depicted a troll, lying face down in empty white space.

“Still need to figure out a better method for initiating absorption.” Harry said with a sheepish grin.

Daphne shook her head. “Lets get out of here, now.” She grabbed his transfiguration gun as Harry threw the portrait into the bottomless bag. They retrieved the light switches and ran away, leaving behind a pool of blood, a club, broken rubble and the shredded face of a troll permanently stuck to a wall.

…

“Oh my!” Pomona Sprout reared back, clutching her chest as she came upon the grotesque visage of the troll's face, shredded and twisted up like morbid little puzzle pieces that had been jumbled about. It had taken her brain an extra moment to recognize what had once been a face.

“This is quite disturbing.” Flitwick said as he and Minerva walked up behind them, headmaster Dumbledore not too far behind.

The charms professor flicked his wand and the face was peeled off the wall, leaving behind a small, smooth crater.

Minerva glanced around, noting the club and the extensive damage all across the hallway, from the walls to the floor. She looked back at Albus. “Did Severus take down the troll?”

Dumbledore frowned. “It's a possibility.” His tone let them know what he actually thought of that idea.

“Who else could have done this? The other professors are not exactly equipped to fight a troll.” Minerva said.

“Quirrell-”

Minerva rolled her eyes. “Pomona, please, lets be serious here.”

Dumbledore turned his head as he heard slow, shambling footsteps approaching. “Ah, Severus, you're here.” 

Everyone turned around to see Snape hobbling over, his right leg bleeding as the potions professor grimaced. “Yes.”

“So it was you that took down the troll?” Flitwick asked his colleague with a little bit of skepticism. He may dislike him, but Snape was more than skilled enough to take down a troll without getting injured.

“Took it down?” 

Snape and Dumbledore locked eyes, and the other professors knew they were sharing a silent conversation.

“No, I was checking on the stone's defenses. The groundspeeker's infernal beast took a snap at me.”

“You were checking on the stone?” Minerva asked suspiciously.

“He was, on my orders.” Albus cut in. “And thank you for that, Severus.”

Snape sneered. “What exactly happened here? Where is the troll's body?”

“That we do not know.” 

“How are you so sure it has been killed?”

Flitwick waved his wand, the wafer thin sheet that was the troll's face flicked up in the air, spread wide before drifting back down to the ground.

Snape's eye twitched. “I see.”

“Who could be capable of such a thing? And how could they have taken the body afterwards?” Pomona said.

Silently, the professors all agreed that they needed to investigate. As Snape leaned against a wall and cast a numbing charm on his leg, the others spread out, casting diagnostic charms and inspecting the scene.

“Shame there are no portraits down this hallway.” Albus said.

Filius had lifted the troll's club in the air, turning it every which way as he gave it a thorough inspection.

“There are no strange magical signatures. No dark magic was involved here.” Pomona said.

“Most of this damage was done by the troll itself, then.” Minerva said.

“There's something here.” Filius said. He pointed towards the club. He kept it suspended in the air and cast a thin red light, which went from the tiny hole on one side of the club and out onto the wall.

“That looks so miniscule. Its barely noticeable. It certainly did not affect the troll's ability to.use the club.” Pomona said.

“No, but if the troll was brandishing the club like this.” Filius made the club stand upright. “A precise beam of magic or a projectile with enough force could punch right through the club and hit the troll's face.”

Dumbledore nodded sagely. “That is a good working theory.”

Minerva moved some rubble around. “I'm seeing bits and pieces of metal and a different wood than the club.” She glanced at the wall where the troll's face had been. “I have a feeling there used to be a torch there.” 

“Indeed.” Dumbledore said. “Tearing a sconce from stone as magically enriched as Hogwarts’… it is definitely beyond something a mere student could do.”

“So what are you saying, Albus? A rogue wizard unleashed the troll and then chose to kill it on a whim? For what purpose? I would understand using it as a distraction to steal the stone, but why fight your own distraction?”

Albus shook his head. “This is all quite confusing, I must admit.”

“There's a turkey leg here.” Pomona said, picking up a bone with a mangled piece of turkey meat still hanging off.

“Stole it from the kitchens? Is this some sort of taunt?” Minerva wondered.

Dumbledore sighed. “Sweep the school, I have the portraits on high alert. There are very few magical means I am aware of that can hide something as big as a troll carcass. With luck, we can catch our culprit before they make their escape. Severus.” Dumbledore nodded off to the side.

Dismissed, the professors split up as Albus and his potions master went off. 

“It wasn't Quirrell.” Snape said.

“I am aware, Severus. I've been keeping tabs on him the entire time. I may be reckless, but I am no idiot.”

Snape rolled his eyes. “Then who exactly did this?” He asked.

Albus sighed. “I must admit I am stumped. I shudder to think that there is a third player involved, someone else trying to make a grab at the stone, but for now, that is the assumption we have to make.”

A rattling noise alerted both Headmaster and professor. Both men instantly drew their wands. 

There was a stillness afterwards as the two approached a broom closet. Dumbledore flicked his wand and the door was flung open.

“Potter!” Snape hissed.

Harry smiled sheepishly as Daphne looked like she'd like for nothing more at this moment than for the earth to swallow her up.

“Professor Snape, Headmaster!” Harry waved at both of them.

Snape began to steam. “You insolent brat!”

“Mr. Potter, Ms. Greengrass.” Dumbledore interjected, the calmness in his voice short-circuiting what would have been a venomous rant from Snape.

“Headmaster.” Daphne was staring down at the floor, her face flush in embarrassment. “I-I apologize.”

“What were the two of you doing out, considering there was a troll about?”

Harry and Daphne shared a look. When the raven haired boy glanced back at him, Albus decided to use some passive legilimency to scan the boy's thoughts.

He was met with a jumbled mess. Trying to make heads or tails of the onslaught of random, mostly incoherent thoughts would take more work than Albus deemed necessary for a schoolboy, and so he decided to make his exit.

Harry smiled blankly, oblivious. “We just thought we'd… err… go off for a snog, professor. Since everyone else would be distracted.”

Daphne smacked Harry's shoulder hard enough to make the boy stumble as Snape scoffed derisively. “Just like your idiot father!”

Dumbledore chuckled, shaking his head. “I appreciate your youthful exuberance, Mr. Potter, but next time, I hope you can appreciate the danger of the situation you were in. I'm afraid I'll have to dock ten points from each of you.”

“Only ten?!” Snape hissed.

Albus’ eyes twinkled. “No one was hurt, and I hope you two have learned your lesson by now?”

Harry and Daphne nodded.

“You will also serve alternating detentions with Mr. Filch and Mr. Hagrid for the next week.”

“Yes, professor.”

“Now come, I will escort you back to your common room.” 

…

The next morning at the Hufflepuff table, Harry noticed quite a few murmurs around him. Boys kept trying to wink at him, while girls whispered between each other and looked away when they saw him.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” Harry whispered to Daphne, who had been acting a bit cold to him all morning.

Before the blonde could answer, Hannah leaned in. “Isn't it obvious? Everyone knows you guys went off for a snog while the troll was in the castle. Its premiere gossip!”

Harry blinked as Daphne glared at Hannah. “We were doing no such thing.” She snapped.

“I mean, it does seem a bit suspect, Daphne.” Ernie said. “What else were you guys up to out there?”

Daphne steamed, knowing she couldn't reveal the real reason they'd been out of bounds.

“Daphne and I weren't snogging.” Harry said. “That's just what I told Dumbledore to get us off the hook. We were trying to sneak in some more potions supplies.”

“Oooh.”

That seemed to convince a few people, and Harry felt hopeful that the word would spread and Daphne wouldn't be mad at him. He turned to look at her, and the girl definitely seemed impressed by his quick thinking, though she still refused to look at him.

Harry turned to his other side, as Susan was always an eager conversation partner.

He was taken aback when he saw the usually chipper redhead had her arms folded, glaring down at her empty plate.

“Hey, Susan, what's up?”

“What's up?” She snapped at him. “So now you want to talk to me?”

Harry rubbed the back of his head nervously, seeing the amused looks of those around him and wondering what exactly he was missing. He decided to latch onto the one possibility he could think of.

“I swear it's true, Daphne and I weren't snogging.” He leaned in closer. “It's actually something super cool, I can show you later in the trunk.”

Susan pushed him away. “You can show me later? How about last night? I guess I wasn't important enought to be in the loop then, was I?”

Harry had no idea what to answer to that, and as Susan faced forward with an indignant huff, the teen was left flabbergasted as he was flanked by a pair of highly irritated witches.

…

“You better scrub those cauldrons good, you little brats. I better be able eat off them!” Filch yelled.

Harry and Daphne were surrounded by an insurmountable pile of cauldrons that they'd been tasked with scrubbing clean. By hand, of course. While this first detention was with the custodian, Harry couldn't help but see Snape's hand in their punishment as he wrinkled his nose at the stench emanating from his cauldron.

He glanced over at Daphne, who was quietly scrubbing away at some caked up yellow gunk at the bottom of her cauldron.

“Hey, Daph, what was up with Susan today?”

Daphne rolled her eyes. “Are you truly that oblivious?” 

Harry shrugged. “I guess.”

“No talking! Only scrubbing!” Filch yelled.

Harry pouted as he returned to his task. This was so stupid, there were so many quicker ways to clean these cauldrons.

“Meow!”

“What is it, girl?” Filch asked as Mrs. Norris padded up to him. The cat continued to meow, and it seemed that the caretaker understood her, because the man growled in frustration.

“Holes in suits of amour? It must the work of those blasted Weasley twins! Come on, girl! This time, we'll catch them in the act!”

Filch went to follow after his companion, sparing the two of them only a glance over his shoulder. “Those cauldrons better be spotless when I return, or else I won't give you your wands back!” he patted his back pocket, where Harry and Daphne's wands were safely stowed away.

Almost immediately after he left, Harry got up from his knees and began to look around the cauldrons.

“What are you doing?” Daphne asked as she continued on her task. “You need to keep working if we ever want to finish.”

“I'm going to get it done, Daph, quick.” He said as he dipped his finger into one cauldron and touched the viscous goo inside.

“How do you plan to do that? We have no wands, and you don't have your tools.”

Harry shrugged. “That's true, but we have this.” 

Daphne glanced up and saw the sticky green residue on Harry's finger before Harry flicked it back into the cauldron.

“And what can we do with expired cauldron gunk?”

“Not much with just this one, but the one you're scrubbing is yellow and flaky, right?”

“...Right?”

“Throw some of that my way.”

Daphne sighed, but she got up on her feet and, after carefully collecting it in a handkerchief, she brought some dried out yellow shavings of something to Harry.

“Toss that in there.” Harry said as he began to run around the room.

They went on like that for a few minutes, with Harry inspecting cauldron after cauldron, collecting a charred bit of something here and a lump of dust there. Soon, they had a single cauldron with a nice little pile of clumped up garbage collected from several others.

“And now?”

Harry grinned, “Now, we just need to use some of this.” Harry held up a jug of the detergent they'd been using to clean the cauldrons. He flipped it over and poured it into the cauldron. The entire mixture began to fizzle madly. When Harry finished pouring, the resulting concoction was an unnaturally bright green.

“Alright, now help me pour it in the other cauldrons.” Harry said.

Daphne went up on one side as the two of them hoisted the cauldron up. They went around all the cauldrons, dropping a few spurts of the liquid into each one.

“Are you sure this will work?” Daphne asked, dreading the thought that they'd just massively wasted their time and would have to re-scrub every single cauldron from scratch.

“Look at this one.”

Daphne glanced down at the one they were still holding and did a double take.

It was completely spotless. Looked brand new, even. 

They set it down as Harry sported his usual smile. “It should be five minutes and all the others should be set. Now, Susan.”

“What about her?”

Harry pouted. “Come on, Daphne, please. I'm not the best at this… friendship thing. She's really upset at me, and it makes me feel really bad and my mind goes foggy and I can't think about stuff right.”

Daphne lost all her standoffishness at that moment. “She's upset because we didn't include her in our troll escapade, Harry. You talked only to me, and we left her out of the loop.”

“Oh.” Harry said dumbly. “But, I wasn't trying to insult her or anything. In the moment, it just made sense to just be you and me.”

“Can you understand why she would be upset?”

“Yeah… sorta. How do I fix this now, though? I don't want her angry at me forever.”

Daphne rolled her eyes. “We're first years. She'll get over it.”

Harry shook his head. “What if she doesn't? I made her glasses already and everything!”

“Usually, when you want to apologize to someone, you have to make a gesture towards them.”

“A gesture?”

“Yes. A token of goodwill, a gift, or something that will show your appreciation for them.”

Harry bit his lip. Daphne sighed, deciding to take pity on him.

“I can help you figure something out.”

Harry smiled once more. “You're the best, Daph.”

…

Susan turned over in her bed, deep into a pleasant dream, when she rolled over a hard lump that jolted her awake.

She cracked her eyes open, letting out a grumpy groan as she groped around, getting tangled in the sheets before finding the offending item, the rough crinkling telling her it was something wrapped in parchment.

Hannah was yawning and stretching in the bed across from her, and Daphne's curtains were drawn. Susan hadn't talked to her when she'd come in last night. She knew she was being a bit petty, and she didn't want this fight to escalate between the three of them, but she couldn't help but feel hurt that they hadn't asked her to come along.

Sure, Daphne was Harry's official assistant, but Susan had thought she'd earned her place enough to at least be considered. 

Susan held up the crumpled up ball of parchment and unfurled it. 

Inside was a chocolate frog, though the box seemed slightly bigger than the usual wrapping it came in. There was also a small note attached.

“Susan? What is that?” Hannah asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Susan checked the note, squinting as she tried to read what appeared to be illegible gibberish. She could barely make out her name before realizing that her sleepy eyes weren't the problem. This was Harry's handwriting.

Her heart skipped a beat as she tried a bit harder to read, but she just could not make much sense of his scrawl, only being able to decipher the words ‘sorry’, ‘important’ and ‘please’.

She smiled warmly all the same as Hannah walked over and took the note, turning it every which way as she brought it up close to her eye in an attempt to read it.

“Is this some sort of code? Like a hidden message?”

Susan shook her head as Daphne's curtains opened. She glanced at the other girl, who sent her a cautious look. Susan smiled, and Daphne smiled back.

Susan unwrapped the chocolate frog. The frog leapt high into the air. Susan reached out and snatched it down, taking a quick bite out of one of its legs as she glanced down at the card.

She gasped. There wasn't just one card, but three.

One card showed Harry, his hair even more of a mess than usual as he smiled, a suspiciously red substance splotched across his white shirt as the picturer managed to catch a glint of the madness behind his emerald green eyes. The description was completely empty, with only a heading that read: Harry Potter. Inventor.

The other two cards were pictures of her and Daphne. Susan didn't know when Harry taken photographs of them wearing those ridiculous coke bottle glasses, but they were there, and right below each of their names, there was the word Assitant.

Susan's lip quivered as Daphne finally decided to speak up. “It was his idea, I only gave him some guidance.”

“Oh Daphne!” Susan ran over to the girl and hugged her tight. 

“Did you read the note?”

“I couldn't understand a word.”

“I figured.”

Later that morning, Harry found himself tackled by a red blur. He found that he was quite happy that Susan wasn't upset with him anymore as they all left the Hufflepuff common room.

Susan was staring down at her cards, still marveling at how Harry had managed to get the holographic display to look just like the real ones. There was only one thing that she found peculiar.

“Why did you leave our descriptions blank?” She asked Harry, noting the lack of a little blurb on any of their cards.

Harry shrugged. “We haven't accomplished anything yet. But that's the cool part, we're going to spend the next few years filling those cards up, together.”