Harry Potter and the Methods of Irrationality Ch. 3 (Patreon)

I changed the title. This was actually the original title i thought up but I wasn't sure if I wanted to lean into MoR so hard (which I've never actually read, funnily enough.). But I like this title better so I'm going with it.

...

Hannah tugged at the door to the stall, but it would not budge. She pouted, tapping her foot on the floor as Moaning Myrtle flew in through a wall.

“Don't know how to unlock it, do you?”

“I'm a first year!” Hannah said irritably.

“Just grab the step-ladder near the wall, Hannah!” Susan called from inside.

Hannah looked back where she'd come from, taking only a few moments to locate the small little step-ladder that was propped up against one of the sinks.

“Oh, this is so exciting! After fifty years, I'm finally popular!” Myrtle squealed as Hannah propped the ladder down in front of the door and climbed up the steps until she could peek in over the stall.

Harry and Daphne were hard at work on their potion, with Daphne stirring the cauldron while Harry kept his face dangerously close to the bubbling concoction.

“Hi, Hannah!” Susan waved at her friend as she stood by the wall, hands behind her back as she shifted her weight from side to side.

“How's it going?” Hannah asked.

“I think we've almost got it.” Harry said. He dipped a large ladle into the potion and held it up to Susan, who took a small sip. The redhead smacked her lips, and Harry looked hopeful upon seeing the girl's skin visibly clear up, but then Susan frowned, her hands going under her robe.

“Itchy?” Harry asked.

“Itchy.” Susan confirmed as she scratched away at her stomach.

Harry snapped his fingers. “Damn it, alright, maybe we used too much of this thing then.”

“Frog spleens.” Daphne supplied without looking up from her stirring.

“Yeah, ok, so we'll just add a bit more of this then.” Harry grabbed a handful of live pillbugs and tossed them into the potion. “That should even it out… I think.”

…

They'd been working on replicating their ‘perfect skin’ potion for a while now. Being new to the castle, Hannah and Susan took it upon themselves to ask the older students for the least popular spots around the castle, and the older girls had been unanimous in their condemnation of Moaning Myrtle's cursed bathroom on the second floor.

Finding the location, lugging a cauldron up there and befriending the shrill ghost had been easy. Replicating their previous potion had been a bit harder.

Daphne had written down a precise recipe, but sourcing the ingredients became an issue.

None of them were willing to risk raiding Snape's stores. Well, Harry thought it'd be a fun idea to try, but Daphne had immediately shot it down. The next logical step was to owl order them from an apothecary, and there was one right nearby in Hogsmeade that would deliver within the same day, but that led to another problem, because when Hedwig returned with a price catalog, their eyes almost popped out of their heads.

“These prices are insane!” Daphne hissed as she ruffled through the paper. “Ten sickles for lacewing flies? A small sack of sophorus beans for fifteen? A bloody galleon for one porcupine quill?”

“Inflation's a bitch.” Harry quipped. He didn't know what inflation was, but uncle Vernon always ranted about it.

“I don't know about you guys, but my allowance doesn't run that deep.” Susan said.

Daphne huffed in frustration. While she was sure many witches would be willing to pay for the finished product, it would be a much harder sell to get them to chip in for the ingredients, and she doubted that even the collective allowances of all first year girls would be enough to cover the volume of ingredients they would need.

“Beetle hearts are only a few knuts though.” Harry pointed out as he read through Daphne's discarded catalog.

“How does that help us?” The blonde asked.

“I feel like those could be good replacements for the sophorus beans.”

“How-”

“And these frog spleens are super cheap too.”

“I see what you mean, Harry.” Hannah said. “We could definitely buy a lot more of some of these second rate ingredients. You know, my third uncle's older nephew works at an apothecary, he says they always have an issue with all the garbage ingredients going to waste. I bet we could even talk them down on some of these prices.”

Harry grinned at Daphne, who shook her head. “You're acting as if this is already going to work.”

“Have faith, my gorgeous assistant.”

Daphne sighed and returned to her meal, knowing this was already a freight train she had no chance of stopping.

…

Buying second rate ingredients meant that the recipe Daphne had written down wasn't of much use, though the girl had still made sure to make copies and file them away for future use. They then spent all of Saturday working on their new potion.

It was rough at the start, as they'd needed to test out what ingredients were useful substitutes for what. For Daphne, it felt overwhelming at first, as it felt as if they were just throwing random ingredients together and hoping something would stick.

But slowly, Harry whittled down the most able replacements and the brewing truly began, and after almost an entire day of tweaking and adjusting and effectively creating a brand new potion from scratch, they were near the end of the road.

“Two more stirs, Daph.” Harry said. He had his eyes closed and was moving his hand around, waving around an invisible conductor's baton as he hummed to a symphony only he could hear.

“Maybe a quarter-turn-clockwise now-there! I think we got it!”

Harry dipped the ladle in once more, and as Hannah looked on from over the stall, he fed it to Susan.

Susan's skin became perfectly smooth, and after a few tense moments, the redhead gave Harry a thumbs up. “No side effects!”

“Nice!” Harry said as Daphne smiled, wiping sweat from her brow as her labors were completed. “Though it takes a bit longer to brew than the original.”

“That's fine.” Daphne said. “We just need to make a few batches of this one and we'll have money to brew the other one if we need to.”

Harry frowned. “But I thought the money was for my experiments?”

“In that case, stop complaining.” Daphne said.

“Need help bottling?” Hannah asked.

Susan unlocked the door and let her in as the four of them got to work bottling. Propped up against the toilet tank was a brand new transcribing notebook Harry had whipped up to write down their process. Daphne would take some time in the evening to painstakingly whittle it down into a workable recipe.

Once they were done bottling, Harry placed a white sheet over the cauldron as they began to leave the bathroom.

“Come back soon! Or else I'm telling on you!” Myrtle shouted at them through the door.

“See you, Myrtle!” Harry waved back at her. “Now, let's finish cleaning out my trunk so we can get to work!”

“We just spent all day slaving over a hot cauldron. I am certain that Susan's tongue has to be burnt through.” 

The redhead looked a little sheepish, but she couldn't disagree with Daphne. “Everything does taste a little staticky.”

“We can leave that for tomorrow, Harry. Besides-” On cue, Harry's stomach grumbled loudly. “We haven't eaten anything.”

“How'd you do that?” Harry pouted, but he allowed the girls to drag him down to the great hall, where they were just in time to catch dinner.

As they settled in to their spot at the Hufflepuff table, Harry began to pile his plate up high.

“Where have you guys been all day?” Ernie asked. He was clearly not that invested in the answer, as he accepted their non-committal shrugs rather quickly.

He leaned into them. “Have you guys heard about what happened last night?” 

“No, what?” Hannah asked, always looking to compliment her meal with some juicy gossip.

“Well, you know how Longbottom and Malfoy were supposed to have a duel?”

“A duel? When did that happen?” Harry asked between mouthfuls of food.

Daphne's eyes narrowed. “They screamed about it in the hallway. It was very public. We were there.” 

“Anyways, the rumor is Longbottom and his group showed up but Malfoy never did. He tipped off Filch, and Longbottom had to leg it out of there.”

Everyone laughed at that story, with the girls being quite pleased that Longbottom got some form of comeuppance.

“That's not all, though.” Ernie lowered his voice. “People are saying they ran into the forbidden corridor. None of them are spilling a single word, but they've been looking pretty scared all day. They must have seen something crazy!”

Daphne glanced over at the Gryffindor table, and while it was subtle, it was clear that Longbottom and Weasley were a lot more subdued than their usual annoying selves

“Wait, forbidden corridor?” Harry asked. “What are you talking about?”

“Harry.” Susan said gently. “Professor Dumbledore made a big deal about it the first night we were here. About how the corridor on the third floor is off limits and we shouldn't even think of going there unless we want to suffer a terrible fate.”

“I think his exact words were ‘excruciating death’, Susie.” Hannah corrected.

Harry's eyes had gone wide, his breathing quickening as a giddy little smile formed on his face.

“No.” Daphne snapped.

Harry pouted as he turned to look at her with his best attempt at puppy dog eyes. Daphne was completely unaffected, arms folded together as she waited Harry out.

Harry finally gave up, tucking his tail between his legs as his head drooped and he returned to his meal. 

“Don't be so down, Harry. Tomorrow, we'll finish fixing up your trunk and you can start experimenting again.” Susan said as she reached out and rubbed circles around Harry's back, something Daphne didn't exactly appreciate.

Because the redhead was only encouraging his childishness, of course. That was the reason.

“Hey, Becky!” Hannah flagged down an older Ravenclaw who was passing by.

“Do I know you?” The sixth year girl flipped her luscious brown hair as she took in the fifteen year old.

“You don't, but I heard you're really popular. Would you like a sampler of this new skin cream?” 

The girl looked hesitant to take Hannah's small offering as her friends stood around behind her.

“It's not a prank or anything. Hufflepuff's honour.” Susan said.

“Fine.” The girl took the bottle from Hannah and walked away.

“I'll give a few more out to the popular girls. 

Then, when they start raving about it, we'll be in the money!” Hannah said.

The girls started fantasizing about their nascent business and the money they were going to rake in, but Harry was quiet, his head down, making a little fort out of his mashed potatoes as he became lost in his own little world.

…

Daphne's eyes snapped open, and she didn't like it one bit.

For a few minutes, she chose to just lay on her back and stare up at the ceiling, hoping that Hannah's rhythmic snoring would help her slowly drift back to sleep. 

But her jitters refused to go away. She tried to rationalize things. She was just randomly restless, she'd had a weird dream she couldn't remember and her body had jolted itself awake.

The longer she spent staring up at the ceiling, the flimsier her reasoning became. She didn't want to admit it, she couldn't.

She knew why she'd woken up. It was Harry.

But he should be sleeping. There was no logical reason for him to not be in his bed. And yet, deep down, she knew.

Daphne mumbled a few curses as she got up from bed. She was being stupid. She'd walk down to the common room, find it empty and then go back to bed, her fears proven false.

Before she knew it, she had stepped into her slippers and she was descending down the stairs into the Hufflepuff common room.

“Are you kidding me?” She hadn't even made it halfway when she saw him. Harry had one foot out the door, his transfiguration gun slung over his shoulder. Harry's head snapped back, reminding Daphne of the niffler that had once absconded with her mother's necklace.

A tense silence settled in as Harry stood rooted on the spot. Daphne continued to descend, her feet moving on their own accord. When she reached the bottom of the stairwell, her hands went to her hips. “What do you think you're doing?”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. “Just… wanted to go out for a stroll?”

Daphne pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a step forward, and Harry answered with his own step back, both feet now outside the common room.

“Seriously?” Daphne said as she took another step and Harry responded in kind.

“I'll be right back, Daph. I promise.”

Daphne shook her head. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. She really couldn't. But she had to protect her investment.

“I'm coming with you.” 

“Really?” Harry said in a surprised tone.

“There's nothing to be done, and I want to ensure you don't get that brain of yours cracked open and devoured.”

Harry grinned as he stepped aside. “Let's go!”

Daphne stepped out and the entrance creaked shut behind them. Harry's big clunky gun clinked and clanged with each step, making Daphne's anxiety shoot up with each passing moment as she expected Flich to be around every corner.

It was cold and drafty, and Daphne's nightwear wasn't the best for keeping her warm. She wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered. “I thought that thing wasn't finished.”

“It's not, but I made a few tweaks and figured it would be nice to test it out.” 

Daphne shivered again, and Harry slung the gun off his shoulder and held it out to her.

Daphne quirked an eyebrow. “I'm not your pack mule.”

“Trust me.” Harry insisted.

Daphne sighed as Harry handed her the gun. Just as she expected, it was heavy, and her shoulder slouched to the side before she adjusted to its weight.

Harry reached out and flipped a switch on the side, and Daphne startled as the thing sputtered to a start, the motor having been liberated from Uncle Vernon's lawnmower.

Daphne glared at Harry. “What-” 

“Do you feel warmer now?”

Daphne's sarcastic remark died in her throat. The heat from the motor was warming her up, quite nicely in fact.

“I-I do, but this thing is quite noisy, we're going to get caught.”

Harry shook his head. “Nah, it's past the time for prefect rounds, and I slipped Filch some of my leftover dreamless sleep potion at dinner. He's not going to wake up for a while.”

Daphne's jaw fell open. “You- I can't comprehend you sometimes.”

Harry laughed. “I get that a lot. Not in those words though.” 

Their journey to the fifth floor corridor was unimpeded, and Daphne found that while hefty, the gun was surprisingly well balanced and didn't feel that heavy while she carried it.

“Alright, so here we are.” Harry said as they stood in front of a solitary door in the abandoned corridor. He wriggled his fingers as he grabbed the knob and tried to turn, only to hear a tell-tale click.

Harry frowned. “It's locked.” 

“As it should be, if it's as dangerous as the Headmaster makes it out to be.” Daphne said. “You don't know the unlocking charm yet, do you?”

“No, kind of an oversight when you think about it, it'd be really useful. Oh well, where there's a will, there's a way, right?”

“Sure.” 

Harry began rubbing his chin as Daphne slung the gun off her shoulder and propped it up against the wall next to the door. Harry looked between the gun and the door, eyes darting back and forth until he snapped his fingers.

“Great idea, Daphne!”

Harry grabbed the gun and slid open the chamber, a big, smooth cavity big enough to fit something the size of a fist. Harry then pulled a very bruised apple out of his pocket and slid it into the chamber before closing up the latch.

Harry heaved the gun up, resting it on his shoulder as he lined the barrel up with the door-knob. With the motor running, it was a bit of a struggle to hold it steady. Daphne came up behind him, helping him keep it balanced and steady. Once set, Harry pulled the trigger.

Daphne jumped back as the gun kicked and whined. It looked like it was going to explode, especially when puffs of smoke began to billow out from the back. Instinctively, Daphne covered her ears, and it was well that she did, because the gun let off a loud blast that sent Harry flying back and falling onto his ass as it clattered onto the floor.

“What in the heavens was that!” Daphne hissed.

Harry clicked the gun off before scrambling up to his feet, a goofy smile forming on his face. “We did it! Look!”

Daphne looked back at the door, and she couldn't help but gasp.

Where there had been a doorknob, there was now an apple, identical to the one Harry had put in the gun. 

Daphne walked over and grabbed it, a light squeeze returning the same wet squish that a normal apple would. Daphne pulled slightly, and the apple detached itself from the door.

As Harry came up next to her, the door swung open inward, and from outside the door frame, they were met with the sight of a massive, three-headed dog that immediately lunged at them, its three jaws snapping loudly as it was held back at the entrance by chains around its necks.

“Merlin!” Daphne yelped as she saw her life flash before her eyes. Harry's hands flew around Daphne's waist to stop her from falling, and she found her hands jumping to his chest for support as she tried to still her throbbing heart. She could only stare up in terrified awe as the dog- the cerberus - kept struggling in vain to break its chains and swallow them up in one bite.

“He's so damn cool!” Harry exclaimed.

“Cool?!” Daphne asked shrilly.

“I didn't know they had these things here. I thought they only had them in Greece! Look at those powerful jaws! Do you think they could crush a boulder?”

“I would not wish to find out.” 

Sure that she was steady on her feet, Harry let go of Daphne, who almost tugged at his shirt to stop him from moving before she remembered herself and let him go.

Harry stepped up as the three heads continued to let out thundering barks that made Daphne's entire rib cage vibrate.

Harry reached out in an attempt to pet them, and Daphne jumped, grabbing his arm and pulling it back, much to the boy's chagrin.

“Are you insane?” 

“Come on, Daphne, I bet he's all bark.” Harry knelt down and grabbed the doorknob-turned-apple and tossed it at the leftmost head.

The cerberus’ bit down on the apple and it exploded in a small shower of juices as it swallowed what to it was less than a morsel. 

“Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! I bet your nervous system is really, really interesting!”

Daphne didn't think the cerberus had taken any kind of shine to Harry after his measly offering, but it had at least stopped barking, as, Filch or no Filch, Daphne still worried about a professor coming over to investigate the absolute racket they'd been causing.

As her heartbeat finally began to settle into something that didn't make her ears pop, Daphne was able to notice details, like the fact that at the back end of the bare room, there was a very large trapdoor.

“What do you think, Daph?”

Daphne looked back over at Harry. “Think about what?” 

“I haven't invented a shrink ray yet, but maybe if I turn this little cute guy into an apple, I can bring him with us while I figure out the shrink ray.”

“Wha- you are not going to turn that poor thing into an apple!” Daphne smacked Harry's arm, her mood suddenly shifting to sympathy for the beast.

Harry looked a bit sheepish. “I mean, I don't think it'll need to eat or anything while its an apple… actually, that's a really interesting question…”

“Harry!”

“Sorry, sorry. Anyways, I guess its for the best. The gun doesn't have a reverse function yet anyways.” 

“Can we leave now?”

“Alright.” Harry smiled up at the cerberus and gave it a wave. “Sit tight, big buddy, now that I know you're here, I'll be back.”

Harry reached out and pulled the door closed, but soon realized they had a problem when it just swung back open.

“Oh, right, no knob.”

Daphne huffed. “Come on, we need to cover our tracks.” 

And so, the two of them left the corridor in search of another door. When they found one, Daphne helped Harry smash the transfiguration gun against that doorknob until they'd finally jammed it off. Then, they 

Returned to the door, jammed the apple into the empty socket and transfigured it back into a knob.

“I can't believe this whole time they were keeping a cerberus in the castle.” Harry said as they snuck back into the common room.

“I wonder what that thing could be guarding? And why would they keep it in a school?”

“Guarding? Guarding what?” Harry asked in confusion.

“There was a trap door. Clearly, the cerberus is being used as a guard dog for something valuable.”

“Oooh.” Harry went quiet.

“You… you thought that thing was the prize?”

“I mean, did you see how big it was?”

“...I am going to bed now.”

“Good night, Daphne.”

Daphne stopped halfway up the stairs. She hesitated for a moment before looking back down at him. “Good night, Harry.”

…

“A cerberus in the castle? That's crazy.”

“It was terrifying.” Daphne said as she and Susan finished organizing Harry's trunk. 

“It was so cool!” Harry said from his work bench, where he was hunched over and tinkering with something. 

“Here you go.” Susan handed Daphne Harry's glasses, which the two girls were sharing as they finally saw an end to the endless pile of junk in Harry's trunk.

After a bit of sweat, the girls finally finished their work, draping the chains over some hooks on the wall, the room had finally been fully de-cluttered.

“Doesn't this feel so much better, Harry?” Susan asked.

Harry glanced over his shoulder at the now spotless room and shrugged. “I guess.” He blanched at their miffed expressions. “Thank you, though. Anyways, here you go.” 

Harry held out a pair of glasses. Their frames, one green and one yellow, were thick and clunky, and the circular lenses were even thicker, the definition of coke-bottle glasses.

“Wow!” Susan said as she grabbed the yellow one and put it over her eyes. On the other end, her eyes were magnified to the extreme, making her look quite comical. Daphne hesitated for a moment before grabbing the green pair and putting them on.

“They adjust to your face and your eyesight.” Harry said, and the girls felt the glasses shift as they adjusted to fit their faces more comfortably. 

“The aesthetics could use some work.” Daphne said as she inspected herself in the (once dirty, now clean) mirror Harry had propped up against the wall. 

“You can actually use them outside of here too!” Harry said.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, I added some stuff to them, some extra features that I'd like you guys to test out.”

Both girls shared a look. Neither planned to be seen dead wearing the glasses outside of the trunk.

“Alright, now let's get to work!”

For the rest of the day, Harry got to work. Daphne and Susan helped where they could, the latter handing him tools and the like while the former documented his process, including the random murmurs that would periodically spew out of his mouth.

Like everything else he did, Harry's workflow was frenetic and disjointed. He would be working on one thing and then suddenly drop it and move on to something else, struck by a sudden bout of inspiration.

Daphne did her best to reign him in and keep him focused as Susan went out and brought back lunch. By the end of the day, Daphne had no clue if any progress had been made on anything, but it had certainly felt like a productive day.

…

Over the next week, they settled into a nice rhythm. It was helpful that the first year course load was still so light and focused on review, as between Harry's work and brewing the potions, they had their hands full.

The potions had been a smash success, as the samples Hannah had given out had borne fruit, and now they were getting a steady stream of income as every girl wanted their magical skin potion. The money had only just started rolling in, but soon, they would have enough left over after buying ingredients for Harry to start purchasing some of the things that had caught his intellectual fancy.

Outside of that, the only thing of note those first few weeks had been their first flying lesson with the Ravenclaws.

Harry was laying flat on the broom, knees wobbly as he hovered barely two feet of the ground.

“Everything alright, Harry?” Ernie asked as he drifted by at an easy pace. Nearby, Madam Hooch was blowing her whistle to scold a few boys for trying to go too fast.

“I'm fine.” Harry said, sweat pouring down his forehead.

“Are you afraid of flying?” Padma asked as she and the other girls drifted closer. None of them particularly enjoyed flying, but they were also not terrified of it.

“T-T-Thats ridiculo-ahhh!” 

Harry let out a dramatic scream as he tipped over and fell two feet to the ground, barely even kicking up dust.

“Are you ok?” Susan asked worriedly as Harry got to his feet.

“It's just these stupid things. There's gotta be better methods of flying than riding a broom.” Harry said.

“They have flying carpets out east. Those don't go as fast as brooms, but they're more comfortable!” Hannah said. 

“Daddy took Parvati and I on a picnic on one when we visited Istanbul! The view from high up is breathtaking!” Padma said.

Harry's face turned green as he looked ready to throw up. Daphne hovered over to him, shaking her head. “I cannot believe you are afraid of heights and yet a raging cerberus doesn't phase you.”

“Wait, what?” Padma, Hannah and Ernie looked at Daphne in shock, who's eyes widened upon realizing what she'd just said.

“You guys really need to keep it down.” Susan hissed. 

“So you weren't joking then?” Hannah said. “When did you run into a giant three headed dog?”

“Err… I went to Greece last summer and got lost.” Harry said weakly.

“And you ran into a bloody cerberus?” Ernie asked skeptically.

“Alright, stop lollygagging over there!”

Harry let out a sigh of relief as Madam Hooch interrupted their conversation. “Now, Potter, you're the only one I haven't evaluated. I need you to fly to that tree and back and then do a few loops.”

Harry doubled over, covering his mouth with his hand as Susan placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I think he might be sick, Madam Hooch. He's been a bit off since breakfast.” Susan lied.

Madam Hooch seemed to be quite skeptical of that, but she chose not to push things. “Fine, take him to the hospital wing then, but you're not getting a passing mark until I see you fly, Potter.”

Daphne and Susan dragged Harry off to the castle, where they walked most of the way to the hospital wing. Once they were certain Madam Hooch hadn't decided to track behind them, they diverted to their dorms and went inside Harry's trunk. 

“You're seriously afraid of heights?” Daphne asked as she and Susan dutifully put on their ridiculous glasses.

“I don't want to talk about it.” 

Something in Harry's tone was a lot more serious that what Daphne usually got from him, and she didn't need Susan's pointed look to know to drop the topic.

“What are you working on right now?” Susan asked as Harry pulled out several things from under his desk.

“Oh, well, first off, I managed to install a reverse function on the ol’ transfiguration gun. I also started working on this.” He held up a pair of muggle light switches, exposed wires and all, attached to suction cups.

“Oooh, cool! ...What are they?” 

Harry smiled, his dour mood evaporating. “Well, you know switching charms?”

“It actually falls under transfiguration, not charms.” Daphne explained.

Harry scratched his head, looking ready to launch into a rant about why he vehemently disagreed with that, before he stopped himself. “Well, this is basically like a portable switching charm. You attach these to things-”

Harry stuck one suction cup to an old, rusted out lunchbox on one end of his work bench and the other to a glass cup all the way on the other.

“Then you flip one of the switches.”

Harry flicked the switch on the lunchbox. Both items began to vibrate, and in a flash, their positions had flipped. The lunchbox was on the left and the cup was on the right. It would have been a perfect presentation, if the lunchbox hadn't been crushed flat and the glass hadn't shattered into a thousand pieces.

“Agh!” Harry wagged his pointer finger in the air, “Got a little bit of glass in there.”

Daphne sighed. “Hold steady.” She grabbed his hand, seeing the bit of glass embedded at the tip of the finger, and squeezed on both sides. Harry grimaced in pain as the sliver slipped out.

Susan had been busy cleaning up the glass from the desk. “Wow, that definitely has some potential if you can work out the kinks.”

“Yeah.” Harry agreed as he stuck his finger in his mouth and began sucking on it. “What are you writing down?” He mumbled to Daphne, who had begun jotting something down on a piece of parchment, and Harry noticed the script was much bigger and bolder than how she usually wrote.

“It struck me that some lab rules might be in order.” She explained. She grabbed a little pin and stuck the parchment in the wall. There were two rules written down:

1. Gloves must be worn at all times

2. Handle glass in a tray

“Those are probably good ideas.” Harry mumbled.

M

“We'll keep adding on as we go along.” Daphne said.

…

Before they knew it, It was October 31st, and the Halloween feast was in full swing.

Harry had wanted to visit Fluffy, as he came to call the cerberus, but had been held back by Daphne, who'd been wary of him dissecting the giant dog.

Harry had explained how he'd experimented on Aunt Marge's dog without it dying, but she'd called it animal cruelty and nixed it completely. Still, Harry had fashioned some tools for the task, just in case.

“What if Fluffy breaks out and the only way to stop him is for me to dig deep into his brain?” Harry asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“That is a ridiculous scenario that I will not entertain.” The blonde said as she meticulously cut a slice of her steak.

“Hey, Potter, what's that around your goblet?”  A third year boy that was sitting nearby asked. Harry had placed what looked like a strip of wallpaper around the brim of his goblet, decorated with different fruits.

“Oh, this turns the pumpkin juice into something that doesn't suck.” Harry explained. “You just press one of the fruits on the brim and it'll turn the juice into that.”

“Woah.” The boy said, and he wasn't the only one amazed. All across the Hufflepuff table, people were leaning in to get a look at Harry's cup.

“Are you serious, Potter?” Asked Cedric Diggory.

“Sure, try it out.” Harry handed his goblet over. The older boy took it skeptically, inspecting its contents before taking a sip. “This is grape juice.” Still not fully convinced, Cedric pressed the pear on the side of the goblet and took another sip. “Woah! It works!”

The others murmured in amazement as Cedric handed Harry's goblet back to him.

“Potter, can you make me one?”

“How much for one of those?”

“Can you do firewhisky, mate?” 

Sensing an opportunity, Hannah cleared her throat. “Harry is working on mass producing these, and I'm sure we can add different flavours as well. If you want to pre-order your own, just talk to me.”

That seemed to excite everyone, and Harry sent Hannah a confused look as the girl sat back down. “Hannah, I just made mine cause I hate pumpkin juice.”

“We know, Harry, but this could be another money maker.” Daphne said.

Harry groaned. He already spent too much time making those potions, now he'd have to make other people goblet strips?

“Think of it as a cost of doing business, Harry. You make these things for everyone and they give you money so you can research the stuff you actually care about.” Susan said.

Harry looked over towards Daphne. He hadn't forgotten the hope she'd put into the healing tank concept, and Harry knew that if that were to ever work, it would be a massive, complicated undertaking that would require a lot of funds. He didn't enjoy replicating stuff he'd already made for other people, but if it all went towards helping Daphne, maybe he could stomach it.

“Alright. I guess its fine.” Harry said.

The growing buzz around Harry's goblet attachment was derailed when the doors to the Great Hall slammed open. Professor Quirrell ran in, looking delirious as every eye in the room focused on him.

“TROLL! THERE'S A TROLL IN THE DUNGEONS!... Just thought you should know.”

Chaos erupted as the professor fainted on the spot. People screamed as Dumbledore stood, and let out a loud bang that silenced the room.

The headmaster began to order the prefects to lead the students back to their common rooms. But Harry wasn't listening, he'd been staring directly at Daphne since the moment he'd heard the word troll, and after a silent battle of wills, the blonde had sighed, shaking her head before mouthing three words.

‘Fine. Lets go.’