Big Daddy Dispatch: March 2024 (Patreon)

Dispatch Eighty Four Feb 29, 2024

Greetings WHM Family!

Get ready for a month of listener requested insanity…that’s right, it’s Listener Request Month again! If you missed the live drawing you are, as the kids say, telling on yourself, that you are ignorant of our totally kick-ass and totally weekly show, On-Screen: Live! It’s a blast every week, wherein we go through box office news, spin some trailers, review some new movies and shoot the shit in the inimitable WHM manner. If it isn’t appointment viewing you are MISSING OUT, I promise you. You’ll likely want to tune in this coming Monday (3/4) at noon because we’ll be announcing a BRAND NEW Patreon offering that’ll be coming this month, one we are positive you’re going to be excited about! So, if you haven’t already, subscribe to our Youtube channel to make sure you never miss an episode!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies Logo by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit: We Hate Movies: On Screen Live from 2/19

WHM SPRING TOUR IS FAST APPROACHING

It’s happening. We are grabbing our laptops, booking hotels and locating possible dump sites for evidence, and that all means, we’re going on TOUR! Three great shows in three great cities, if you’re a fan and you’re anywhere near, you do not want to miss this!

Thursday, 4/25 we will be in Atlanta, Georgia at the City Winery talking Gerard Butler’s Gamer! Get Tix here!

Tuesday, 5/14 we will be going to Houston, Texas for the first time to do a show at the Houston Improv talking about Robocop 2! Get Tix Here!

Wednesday, 5/15 we’ll be finishing this leg of our 2024 tour by returning to one of our favorite cities, Austin, Texas at Cap City Comedy to do a We Love Movies episode on From Dusk Till Dawn! Get Tix Here!

You do not want to miss these shows, so get your tickets now!

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 721 –  Dune (1984)  (Patrons Only)

For this month’s We Love Movies episode, Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve head out to Arrakis to make some deals and sample the local sand with young Paul Atreides as he prepares to seize his family’s fated power back from the corrupt Baron Harkonnen and the Emperor. Aside from the rushed final section, why did this get such a bum rap upon release? How does this stack up against the Villeneuve movie(s)? Did David Lynch cast Patrick Stewart by accident? Oh, you better believe there’ll be impressions in this one.

Episode 722 – Blast from the Past 

The fellas head out into the blinding sunshine of 1999 Los Angeles with Brendan Fraser after a few decades of being emotionally and socially pressure cooked in a bunker by his anti-commie paranoiac father (Christopher Walken) and his long-suffering, class-A alcoholic mom (Sissy Spacek). Why do we spend so much time in the bunker? Are we in store for a Joey Slotnick renaissance? What exactly does Alicia Silverstone see in this relationship? Also, let’s maybe cut back on bunkers in general.

Episode 723 – Notting Hill 

The boys hop across the pond to visit old friend Hugh Grant as he ever-so-unexpectedly sweeps global movie star Julia Roberts off her feet and away from pushy Alec Baldwin. How the fuck does this idiot afford housing, never mind the fucking lease on the shitty travel bookstore that makes no money? Sorry, had to get that off the chest. Why does she make him jump through so many hoops? What is with the chef friend just showing up to not be able to keep his restaurant? Why do people like this?!?! Sorry, I’m sorry. At least there is sweet, beautiful Rhys Ifans to soothe the pain.

Episode 724 – Safe House (1998)

And now for one that no one has heard of! The gang accept an invite to the trap-laden home of former spy/possible insane old man Patrick Stewart, who must deal with a new caretaker and the political ambitions of his powerful nemesis at the same time, but maybe not for entirely different reasons. How would Patrick Stewart react if you brought this one up to him? Why would you allow a movie like this to come close to two hours in length? Does this guy have neighbors and have they put out their own contracts on him? Prepare to name all the presidents in descending order if you want your candies.

Episode 725 – Leprechaun 3 w/ Dead Meat’s James A. Janisse and Chelsea Rebecca

James A. Janisse and Chelsea Rebecca of Dead Meat return to the show to join Andrew, Steve, Chris, and Eric on their trip to Las Vegas to find their fortune and stop the goddamn Leprechaun from killing more gamblers than the mafia. Is this really the best volume of the franchise? Is there any chance that the crew were filming legally when the Leprechaun is in the streets? Why does Loretta get the most severe and weird death? Next time, more Elvis!

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew:  Here’s another grab bag of stuff I’ve been watching over the last month, gonna try and mix it up as much as possible here. Let’s see:

Dune (2021):  Yeah, I watched this twice in a little over a week. I checked out the 4K at home which I hadn’t spun in a while and then ten days later I went and rewatched it AGAIN on IMAX. I hadn’t seen it on IMAX in its initial release, so I was completely blown away all over again. Honestly, like seeing it for the first time. I just started Children of Dune a few days ago and man, I really hope Denis just keeps making these. If he gets to Children, it would really be something. Messiah would also be great, but it would def just be one movie, I truly hope to never see an ad for Dune: Messiah Part II. Anyway, I guess you can consider me a Dune fanatic at this point and yeah, why not also the show’s self-described “Dune Expert”?

Suitable Flesh (2023)]: Finally! Some good new horror! Hot damn. I had a good time with this and I think Heather Graham really did a great job with the multiple performances. Not to mention Barbara Crampton being in this and being awesome as always. It’s on Shudder. Would recommend, especially fans of Stuart Gordon, Lovecraft and so on.

Weak Layers (2023):  This is a super-small indie comedy that I stumbled upon one night and took on chance on renting. I was pleasantly surprised. It’s by no means an amazing movie, or even a great movie, but it’s a funny indie comedy, the likes of which they stopped making back in the late aughts when we’d kinda reached peak indie comedy saturation. It’s low budget, filled with no one you know or have seen in anything, but it’s also very funny and frankly it was kind of great watching co-writer/director/star Katie Burrell take that kind of indie comedy and filter it through a ski comedy. Plus, turning that whole 80's ski comedy idea on its head, all of the film’s main characters are women, and they’re raunchy, profane, and constantly getting fucked up, while also being really incredible at skiing. It’s a lot of fun. To quote Chris Frantz in Stop Making Sense, “The girls can do it too, y’all, so check it out!”

Bullitt (1968):  I spent a couple weeks reading Quentin Tarantino’s fabulous book, “Cinema Speculation,” and I enjoyed the hell out of it. Each essay mentions dozens of movies I’ve never seen, so the book helps you create a cool watchlist, but I was also inspired to rewatch some stuff I hadn’t seen in a bit. Bullitt was just such a picture and wowza, what a picture! McQueen is great and the movie is filmed so beautifully. Bullitt is a VIBE, folks. Big recommend, especially if you’ve never seen it.

Act of Piracy (1988): And finally, I thoroughly enjoyed this wild-ass, totally unheard-of Gary Busey movie the features Busey as a divorced Vietnam veteran who decides to take his kids and fiancée on one last big cruise on his yacht before he sells it off to an Australian businessman. Well, the fiancée turns out to be part of a terrorist organization that hijacks the boat for, I can only assume money-related reasons. There are tons of great deaths throughout the film, and Busey is really going for it both action-wise and dramatically. He gives this really somber Vietnam War monologue to his son in one scene and, while not really fitting the rest of the wild-ass, stupid action movie vibe, the monologue totally works because pre-motorcycle accident, Busey was King. Lots of really great action including boats smashing into other boats, Busey biting a guy’s arm, and a someone being thrown off a high-rise hotel balcony. The whole thing is in-full on YouTube and you should totally check it out, I’m pretty sure the entire film is dubbed. Amazing stuff.

Chris:  Red Rooms: Here’s one that will almost certainly be repurposed for American audiences as a TV show or (hopefully) a full-on remake. Pascal Plante, known for festival curiosities like Fake Tattoos and Nadia Butterfly, confidently and cleverly directs this tale of a young woman’s obsession with a ghastly serial killer trial, involving live torture and murder broadcast on a deep-web site. Taking a necessary step back from the trashy, sadistic cat-and-mouse games of Untraceable, Plante and breakout star Juliette Gariépy nearly render the particulars of the case pointless in comparison to the unpredictable and mysterious actions of Gariépy’s internet-fixated Kelly-Anne, who offers her home to a homeless fellow trial obsessive and funds her life through modeling jobs and online poker. Things wrap up a bit too neatly for me but for the first 80 minutes or so, it’s compelling and invigoratingly tense. Worth seeking out when it’s released.

Drive-Away Dolls: The vibes are right and the direction is admirably unhinged, but I can’t say this entirely worked for me. Seemingly inspired by the more sex-positive strains of sexploitation cinema and the early comedies of Jonathan Demme among other curious sources, Ethan Coen’s first foray into directing on his own certainly feels refreshing in its undeterred horniness and jovial atmosphere, but the writing is very nearly a catastrophe. If someone wants to explain to me who Margaret Qualley’s Jamie is beyond the way she talks and her love for sex, I’d love to hear it. Geraldine Viswanathan’s Marian grows more interesting as the film goes on, but I still wish the movie had started where it ends. It is very funny that the two solo efforts by the Coens literally feels like they separated the oil and vinegar of a Coen Bros. movie.

Eye for an Eye 2: Clocking in at less than 75 minutes, Yang Bingjia’s walloping 2022 wuxia Eye for an Eye remains one of the most thrilling and lean action films of the decade thus far, an unrelenting storm of fists, swords, and sticks that neither drags nor feels rushed. It’s sequel, which will arrive stateside later this year, adds 20 minutes and a kid sidekick to the formula and loses little or no impact from those indulgences. That’s primarily because writer-director Bingjia doesn’t allow new addition Yang Enyou’s child character, Zhang, to add any sugar or overt emotional manipulation to the story. That being said, if you are a parent, I presume the mere involvement of the tyke will make it more difficult to kick back and enjoy the (excellent) fights. Still, Enyou doesn’t just sit around and cry and beg. There are fight scenes where she’s an active participant and the choreography never feels like it’s being too precious with her. I understand if the cliché of the kid bothers you, but honestly, I’d put this one up there with the most prime exceptions to the rule. You can count this as the year’s first official major release unless you inexplicably got hung-up on Jason Statham vs. Hunter Biden: BeeMatch.

Eric:  February 11th was Burt Reynolds' birthday so as a treat, let's watch every movie he's been in!

W.W. and the Dixie Dancekings (1975): A curio that also is the blueprint for 77's Smokey and the Bandit. This nostalgia jerkoff is set in 1957, a time we are reminded was "care-free" according to the opening scroll. Art Carney is in the Jackie Gleason role as a cop, but Art is also a Christian Deacon, and Burt is a gas station robber. Not great but in the opening Burt's character declares he'd go queer for Errol Flynn and it comes off more progressive than it sounds!

Switching Channels (1988): Burt and Kathleen Turner doing The Front Page. It's fun and charming enough.

Crazy Six (1997): Burt is an American lawman who is for some reason granted authority in the Eastern Bloc "10 years after the fall of Communism." Rob Lowe (looking like Chris Pine in Hell or High Water) runs a gang that's at odds with Ice-T and yes, even Mario Van Peebles is farting around! Directed by Albert Pyun. Not good, but kinda has good vibes.

Heat (1986):  I discussed this and Shamus on the Sleazoids podcast. This is one of my favorite Burt movies. There's like 20+ minutes of him just gambling and walking around in this movie and it rules, and whaddya know, by the end of the movie he turns into Batman. Some real INSANE violence.

Wild Card(2015): Not starring Burt, but it’s the remake of Heat (1986) and it stinks! The charm of Burt is replaced by Jason Statham who is just doing his stock gruff character. All the joy is drained out and it feels so very paint by numbers.

Shamus (1973):  Not every Phillip Marlowe riff opens with a flamethrower killing a married couple who are canoodling in bed together. Burt is a private dick. This one is a lot of fun but don't get caught up too much with the plot, it's slippery. Cat actor Morris the Cat plays Burt's cat in this AND Elliott Gould's cat in The Long Goodbye in the SAME YEAR! Shamuswas first by 2 months. Points to Shamus.

Hustle (1975):  It's fine. Features an evil albino.

Stick (1985):  Lowkey banger from director Burt Reynolds and writer Elmore Leonard. Yes, you get boxcar hobo Burt. Yes, you get George Segal and Candice Bergen. It somehow also features an evil albino. Why is America so threatened by blonde men?

Sharky's Machine (1981) - Burt directs and it's fine. A bit all over the place though.

Big City Blues (1997): So bad that seeing might be believing. Yes, even after Boogie Nights, Burt did this shameless Quentin Tarantino knock off. You do get Burt in gimp gear at onepoint if memory serves and you'll never be the same after Burt and William Forsythe attempt rat-a-tat dialogue about directors like Sergio Leone.

Steve:Getting out there a little bit more each day, thank you very much. Here’s some non-Madame Web-related content I experienced in February:

Drive-Away Dolls: Just caught this last night, so it’s very fresh. I had a lot of fun with this short, imperfect film. I’m happy we’re making short, imperfect films! I think Margaret Qualley and Geraldine Viswanathan have a ton of energy and chemistry and it makes up for some stilted deliveries and narrative shoulder shrugs you might find elsewhere in the film. I think as a movie its more than just a Coen Bro’s curio, and that’s pretty surprising.

The Zone of Interest: Made up for all the fun I had at Drive-Away Dolls, by replacing fun with devastating, grim reality. There’s a lot to unpack and I’ve been doing so for the past few days, but to keep this brief, there’s something so vital about this film, living as close as we always are to a fascist hell-state and sitting elbow to elbow with folks who eagerly cheer on that terrifying possible future. So…Yeah. Kudos to some of the most chilling sound design I’ve ever experienced and also to Sandra Hüller who’s having an incredible year.

Dangerously Close (1986): A total bummer. Great set-up, great cast, great soundtrack…shit execution. A Canon film that, on paper, is basically a Most Dangerous Game riff set at a high school, where it’s the Preps vs. the Rockers and…it pulls every punch imaginable. Do look out for that soundtrack though, which got me into the Smithereens and has an Elvis cover by Fine Young Cannibals.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin: A book! I read a lot but always forget to put them on here, but this one I absolutely devoured while sitting around in recovery. A great read centering on three friends who start a gaming company in the late 90s. Funny, warm, and actually full of fake games I’d love to play. A terrific, moving read.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from

Zoe, from Scotland who asks: “What is your favourite bad horror movie that each of you has watched or reviewed for the pod?”

Andrew:  Hmmm, tough call. I’d say it’s a toss-up between Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, or possibly Leprechaun 3, which we just did on the show. Both are ridiculous sequels that are fun as hell and star two guys who absolutely know what kind of movie they’re making. Big recommends for both!

Chris: The easy answer is Halloween: Season of the Witch, which I consider a genuinely good movie at this point. For one that I still concede isn’t good but enjoy immensely all the same, I’d have to go with Deadly Friend, the Wes Craven oddity we covered in the early years of the program. Craven’s enviably sturdy craftsmanship carries the film through the numerous hairpin turns of a plot that involves corpse-stealing, robot zombies, Kristy Swanson, and the most amazing death involving a basketball ever filmed. You rarely get a one-off that is so blindingly nonsensical and unlikely in its origins – I’m not even sure cocaine can be blamed for such a story. And then to have the nerve to treat it with some seriousness, both as a director and a storyteller. It should go without saying, but he was a bigger man than me, a real artist.

Eric: To echo Andrew, Wishmaster 2 absolutely rocks. I'm less of a Lephead though. Also, if you haven't seen it or dug into the deep, deep archive - Night of the Demon (1980) was an early Side Order of Sleaze and yes, a biker gets his cock ripped off by Bigfoot. It's great!

Steve: I got to answer last so I agree with my colleagues above on their selections. Here’s a few from me that also rule

Killer Workout: You gotta work out, at the work out. I can always go back to Rhonda’s gym for this dumb-as-fuck slasher.

The Bye Bye Man: Horrible acting, dreadful cinematography and no great kills to speak of. BUT! Don’t think it. Don’t say it. I’m kind of always in the mood to watch Z list horror like this

Body Parts: An insanely gory Jeff Fahey joint from the early days of the show. I just love the way that bodies get TORN ASUNDER in this film.

MARCH SCHEDULE

Say what? The schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peek at what we're putting out in March!

Episode 726 – Night Game

Episode 727 – Indecent Proposal

Episode 728 – Rollerball (2002)

Episode 729 – Young Einstein

Patreon Episodes:

We Love Movies – The Fugitive

Animation Damnation: Bravestarr: “The Taking of Thisteldown 1,2,3” (s1, e3)

The Nexus: Voyager: “The Thaw” (s2, 23), Strange New Worlds: “Those Old Scientists” (s2, e7)

Gleep Glossary: Savage Opress

MelR0210: 90210: "Highwire” (s3, e10), Melrose Place: “Love Mancini Style” (s2, e24)

WHM Commentary: Rebel Moonmentary

NEW $10 PATREON OFFERING TO BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY, WE WILL DROP AT LEAST TWO EPISODES OF IT THIS MONTH.

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try unsubscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader."

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

As you heard up top On Screen Live continues to kick ass apace each and every Monday at Noon (mostly)! We are back and better than ever, chatting it up about movie news, reacting live to trailers, and we’ve also got occasional guests! Go watch/listen to last Monday’s episode with Vulture’s Brandon Streussnig talking about the Stunt Awards! Check it out on our YouTube Channel!.

We also have all officially sanctioned VHS Trailer Game episodes up to this point. Eric has also put out great clip packages like WTF Exorcism with Marc Merrin,Dr. Loomis is the Worst Doctor, Dilf Den, George Bailey as Michael Meyers, John Wick-Mentary,  Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, and many more! You can also watchthe entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Rampage (2018), Any Which Way You Can, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and Saw III. Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already!

Eric and Ben are back in the the blue and are talking about Turtle Races (?!), Pseudo Doctor Ruth Radio shows and WOMEN KILLERS, when they review “The Surrogate” Listen here!

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We have some hot off the presses designs by Felipe Sobreiro and some, like the above, might not be around forever (wink wink)!  We also have "The DILF Den", and a "Crispy Critters" design from friend of the show, Nathan Hamill!  There’s a ton of other great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Demon-o's Pizza, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come!

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month for a theme month nobody is going to see coming!  

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies