BIG DADDY DISPATCH: MARCH 2022 (Patreon)

Dispatch Sixty Three, March 2nd, 2022



Greetings WHM Family!

It's Listener Request Month! That's right, the one month of the year we have (almost) no control over our own show! See above for how excited we are to watch some movies that you picked! This is one of the wildest months of the year for us and you gave us some truly unhinged picks, if you didn't watch the Livestream on Youtube...What is wrong with you? Kidding! But you still can, and even better, you can see a full line-up of titles for March below including our super secret 600th episode, which we'd appreciate you folks not blasting out on Social. Being in the BDD gets you some perks and we'd like to keep that exclusive for the cool kids! 

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit:  Men in their Late 30's React to Having to Watch a 90's Kiddy Puppet Movie as seen on our Livestream on Youtube

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 591 – Big Bully



The boys return from the worst of 2021 and get the hometown blues with Rick Moranis, as he takes a job at his alma mater and faces off against his former bully, Tom Arnold. How do you not side with Tom Arnold in this situation? Do cops exist in this world and why isn’t anyone calling them? Is it possible that Tom Arnold is actually good in this? Can we get the horror remake of this? Oh, hi there, Don Knotts!

Episode 592 –The Truth About Cats and Dogs (with Jenn K.)

Jenn K. returns to the show to elucidate just how many of her jokes are stolen by Steve and discuss this romantic comedy centered around a call-in show for pets, in which everyone is insane or has the mind of a baby or happens to be Jamie Foxx. Honestly, why aren’t we getting more Jamie Foxx in this? How long was completely maniacal behavior perceived as being sweet in movies? Are there any other epic phone sex scenes out there in major motion pictures? Exactly how dumb is Uma Thurman playing here? Cute pets, tho. 
 

Episode 593 – Blown Away (with Jamelle Bouie)



With Eric off brokering the official deal between WHM and the IRA, Andrew, Chris, and Steve team up once again with New York Times writer and Unclear and Present Danger co-host Jamelle Bouie to talk about this sturdy 90s thriller, in which Tommy Lee Jones’ Irish super-bomber squares off against Jeff Bridges’ heroic bomb diffuser in Boston. What cereal box did Jones find this accent in? Has anyone gone out as hard as Lloyd Bridges in this film? What doesn’t Chris know about the mules in China? Do bombings happen daily in this world? Ask the Super-IRA about that!

Episode 594 & 596 – Kill Bill Volume 1 & Kill Bill Volume 2 (Patreon Only)

Anaconda, Python, Asp, and Viper hit the road with Uma Thurman’s ****** aka The Bride to take revenge out on her old flame and his friends who tried to kill her in this special two-episode WLM. How many fucking references are these fuckers going to trot out? (Answer: A lot. Sorry.) Is this the best Uma Thurman performance? Will we ever get a proper, non-clandestine viewing of the Whole Bloody Affair? Have margaritas ever looked better than in Budd’s shitbox trailer? Oh, and yes, there will be feet talk.

Episode 595– C.H.U.D.  Live in Brooklyn!



Recorded this past December, when everyone was certain we were over this pandemic shit, it’s the 10-year-anniversary show one year later on perhaps the most New York Fucking City zombie film ever made. How bad is Daniel Stern smelling in real life if he’s living like this? Why are we not privy to a child being eaten by a C.H.U.D.? Why else would I be buying a ticket? How has this show been going on for over ten fucking years?! Plus: the first-ever live VHS Trailer Game.

SPRING NORTH EAST TOUR ANNOUNCEMENT



Your (hopefully) favorite podcasters are marching their little buns down to Penn Station and hopping on the Amtrak to do a spate of shows in three of our favorite cities! That's right, we are returning to Boston, Washington D.C. and Philadelphia in late April to talk...Sylvester Stallone! We are bringing three of the lovable meathead's worst movies on our traveling show. You do not want to miss any of these if you are in the area because Stallone is so damn fun to talk about in public. Here's the breakdown and ticket links:

4/24 - The Escape Plan (2013) at Laugh Boston 

4/26 - Stop! Or my Mom will Shoot at DC Improv

4/27 - Rocky V at Punchline Philly 

You are going to want to get your tickets ASAP because these are cities with a ton of WHM fans (which is why we love them). Don't get left out in the cold on this one, gang! Come hang and hear us go "Euhhh Ergg Euhhhh" and talk about glass tables for about 90 minutes! 

Image Credit:  WHM Live at Laugh Boston! 4/22/2019 taken by @Dbrasco37 on Twitter

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: So yeah, my watching was all over the place this month. I caught Laura Wendel's Playground a couple weeks ago, which was just fantastic. It was Belgium's submission for the Academy Awards this year and it was a really powerful watch. Not to give too much away, but it will really bring back memories of how terrible it could be navigating your way through grade school. Yowza. I also went to the theater and caught Jackass Forever, which was incredible. I was hoarse from laughing so hard the entire time, but it was well worth it. Talk about the catharsis of a shared cinematic experience! I also checked out that new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which was more or less pretty dreadful. Leatherface on that party bus was kind of great, but besides that single sequence, I thought it was trash. But speaking of TCM, I re-watched Summer School, Carl Reiner's oft-forgotten 80s comedy where Mark Harmon plays a slacker gym teacher tasked with teaching a writing class in summer school. Besides having the stink of Kirstie Alley on it, this movie is still a lot of fun. Oh, and I also saw Ti West's X last week. All I'll say is that I dug it, and people who are into his stuff will enjoy it, but if you're not one of those folks, I can assure you, you'll have no interest. 

Chris: Search Party is the latest addition to a depressingly short list of TV shows that seems to get better and bolder as it goes on. We started it a few weeks ago due to nothing more than a love for Alia Shawkat and got hooked quick. Very dark and awkward in parts but also very funny and genuinely alluring. There’s never any sense that you know where things are going exactly, which is something that is almost never true with TV. Incredible supporting cast, and relatively faithful to New York City geography.

As for the movies, I’m still glowing from my Jackass Forever screening. It would be wrong to ruin any surprise in this wonderful movie that hasn’t already been teased on social media or in the trailers, but it is ineffably heartening to watch undiluted fraternal bonding through cock-and-ball torture, explosions, and jovial pain. All the new additions are excellent, and Tremain smartly highlights the extensive support network and safety-first ideology of this group and their crew when not showing them almost dying. I cackled like a hyena. The best movie of the young year, with Soderbergh’s thrilling Kimi coming in at a close second. Nothing has done more to convince me that Zoe Kravitz is going to kill as Catwoman as seeing her nimble, arresting work here, at once in a tango and at war with Soderbergh’s clever, confident camera.


Eric: So I've been spending a lot of my weekends just watching whatever CathodeTV.com is broadcasting in a less than legal way. Don't go narcing on them though, cause you'd be fucking with my weekends. This weekend they did a 35mm print scan of movies, I figured we'd get that "Silver Screen" edition of Star Wars (1977) but they surprised me by showing The Empire Strikes Back - what a treat. That movie is so much more magical and wondrous with the old effects. I forgot just how much they fixed and serialized out of that movie. It's a damn shame it's never been properly re-released. Also in this marathon of theirs was Big Trouble in Little China, The Matrix, Terminator 2, Jurassic Park, etc. So yeah, they definitely pulled out all the stops.

Other stray watches: I finally caught Ghostbusters: Afterlife and I did not expect to to suck as hard as it does. It's okay to like a movie and all that but I wanted to rip my hair out hearing the constant use of the score from the original movie. I think Afterlife has more of the Ghostbusters score in it than Ghostbusters. And don't get me started on Zombie "Harold Ramis."

Briefest of Kung fu corners this month. Challenge of the Masters with Gordon Liu? Pretty solid. A bit meandering like a friend I know, Jerry Mander, but it comes together at the end. I liked the competition at the end where people jump on top of one another. Something not so solid: Joseph Kuo's The Old Master. It's about a grampie going to 1979 Los Angeles to compete and helps train a dude. It's pretty dull but features some great shots of Los Angeles. Other than that, I liked when the grampie smiled or made tea.

Steve:  Here's a little round-up of stuff I've been cramming into my eyeballs this month:

House of Gucci: Ayy Ohhh! I'm Italian! Meat-a-Ball-ah! Well, actually I am part Italian, and I did make my mother's meatballs this weekend to sit down with this one and ...my mother's meatballs remain undefeated and this movie remains BAD. I wish it weren't, because Rotten Rid directed the hell out of it and I enjoyed the soundtrack, but the screenplay is a total mess. Is this a story about the Gucci Corporation or Lady Gaga's fall from grace? It's kind of both, but it doesn't feel like that because each half forgets about the other for minutes at a time. Also, yeah, I mean much hay has been made about the insanity of these accents and I honestly feel most critics were too nice about it. Jeremy Irons is embarrassing in this film. This is a rare Adam Driver misfire too, but Gaga comes out mostly unscathed. I will say it's the most I've enjoyed Jared Leto in a film since...I dunno, ever? He's playful and campy and silly and it's exactly what the movie needs. He shouldn't get an Oscar for it, but I was shocked one my most hated actors was my lifeline in a major motion picture filled with actors I love. Go Figure. 

Peacemaker: James Gunn's DC batting average remains 1.000. Though, here he really gets to shine and dig in on a single character to great effect. I was afraid that his take on the Peacemaker would be just another "unredeemable asshole redemption story" and while it kind of is exactly that, Gunn writes the hell out of Chris Smith and John Cena delivers a nuanced and excellent performance that makes you actually feel bad for the big lunk. Also? This show is just flat out hilarious with an amazing supporting cast (standouts being: Danielle Brooks, Chukwudi Iwuji, Steve Agee and Freddie Stroma who steals every single scene he's in). I was just happy to have some stakes, emotion, and PERSONALITY in a streaming series based on existing property. I'm looking at you Boba Fett, you waste of fucking space!!!

Jackass Forever: Not much to say here that C-Dawgs and A-Dawgs didn't say earlier in their write-ups but I have to give this movie credit for being the ONLY re-tread, sequel, or reboot (which this movie manages to kind of be all three at once) that gave me the exact same feeling I had when I watched and enjoyed the original. It seems simple to do, but it's obviously really fucking hard and somehow this movie did exactly that. I was smiling ear to ear for ninety plus minutes and giggling like I was 17, stoned, and in my buddy's parent's basement. Bravo to all involved. 

Blood in the Garden: The Flagrant History of the 1990s New York Knicks: This one's a BOOK! It's been a few weeks since I finished it but Chris Herring's excellent history of one of my most essential and favorite things of all time (the New York Knicks of the 1990s) not only met my expectations, it exceeded them. There's so much here, great nuggets about each of the core members (including some truly fascinating stuff about John Starks), but it smartly puts the focus on Pat Riley the maniacal, tough guy coach that brought my beloved team within one win of the NBA Finals and then took the money and ran down to South Beach. A fantastic read for anybody interested in the subject.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from 

Emily from St. Louis who asks: 

"What is a song you've always wanted used as a record needle drop in a movie?"

Andrew: Tough question! I feel like a lot of my answers have already been turned into great cinematic needle drops. Oliver Stone already made it happen with my fave song, using Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place (Naïve Melody)" in that great 'moving up' montage in Wall Street. Hmm. Let's see someone find a solid place to drop Piebald's Grace Kelly with Wings into a movie. There, that's a song I like that I'm pretty sure hasn't been featured anywhere significant! Or maybe The Band doing “Atlantic City.” It’s an amazing song and their version is my fave.   

Chris: There are a few I can think of, but the major one is a getting-the-team-together montage set to The Clash’s truly magnificent “The Magnificent Seven.” My stomach turns at the concept of one of the Marvel ghouls using it for like Guardians or Eternals 2: Boredom Boogaloo, but I opened the ark, can’t complain about the death-sun and ghosts that comes out. If I was a director of any sort of sway and tasked with a sci-fi epic, I’d beg Fuck Buttons to score the whole damn thing, but I would at the very least get a space battle scored to “Brainfreeze” or “Sentients” or “The Red Wing.” Free idea, numerous industry insiders who I know read/listen.

Eric: I kind of think every big needle drop has already happened but I guess it'd be cool to hear Red Box's "Saskatchewan" drop in my sprawling Canadian Epic set in the 1980's, that I am writing with a bunch of apes on typewriters. 

Steve:  I've got two that I always wanted to see on the big screen and I have two scenarios Id like to see them in:

1. "Add It Up" by The Violent Femmes. Reach out to me if this has been used in a film before, because I'd like to see it. I'd love to see it set to a Danny Boyle-esque drug binge montage because those are damn fun! Speaking of which, it's been far too long since I've seen a good drug binge montage in cinema. Get cracking (literally) you prudes!

2. "Hotel Yorba" by The White Stripes. I always thought this would be a fun, short song to set something totally incongruous to. Something like say...Jason Voorhees chasing after and brutally murdering a teenager. Something like that. Fun no?

MARCH SCHEDULE

Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out for this March for Listener Request Month! 

Episode 597 —  The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)

Episode 598 —  S1m0ne 

Episode 600 —  Delta Farce

Episode 601 — The Last Boy Scout

Episode 602 — The Last Castle with Justin J. Case


Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — The Warriors (1979)

Animation Damnation — Double Dragon "Shadow Claw" (s2, e2)

The Nexus: TNG: "Parallels" (s7 e11) DS9: "Trials and Tribble-ations" (s5, e6)

Gleep Glossary: Bossk

Melr0210: 90210: "Down and Out of District in Beverly Hills" (s2, e12) Melrose Place: "Suspicious Minds"  (s1, e32)

Synch-able Commentary for Q1: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! Now!

PATREON RSS BUG

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Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION




Our Youtube Channel continues to kick-ass folks!  Eric has also put out great clip packages like Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, Egg Lawyer, Lak Sivrak, the Wolfman of Star Wars, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like The Sixth Day, The Matrix, and Spider-Man (2002) Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 



We just want to let you folks know that the Scanner Cop 1 & 2 collection is back in stock on the Vinegar Syndrome website! Why should you care? Well, A.) Those movies are awesome and B.) Scanner Cop features a synchable, hilarious commentary by your friends at We Hate Movies! Get your copy now before it's off the market! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric and Ben are joined by friend of the program Angelica Jade Bastién to talk about Dennis Franz as a pornographer! Listen here!  

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We've got awesome designs including our brand new 2021 Tour Logo by (you guessed it) Felipe Sobreiro! We also have a ton of great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! 

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month! 

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies