Big Daddy Dispatch: August 2021 (Patreon)

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Dispatch Fifty Six, August 2nd, 2021



Hello WHM Family!

WHEW! That was Season 11, everybody!! We did it! Well, we still have one Brand New Episode releasing in August with our good friend Ben Worcester (back from Honduras!), but we are taking a few weeks to regroup and release some live stuff and unlock some sweet, sweet Patreon content. For the realest of real heads out there who haven't missed a single release, you find yourself without new content for a few weeks but for the rest of you, we're hoping at least some of it is new to you! 

Just an FYI, we've been dropping brand new HOT tracks each week since April 14th of 2020, so yeah...A long time! Worry not, each one of these August unlock episodes will have fun bumpers from us introducing them including...the GRAND FINALE of Season 11's VHS Trailer Game on Mad Max: Beyond Thunderome! You do not want to miss this! Andrew is currently LEADING Chris by two points! And Eric...well, Eric is just the best, ain't he folks?


Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit:  Ron Man  by Joshua Hollis

WHM FALL TOUR!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, behold! New Fall Tour Dates! After a lot of re-scheduling and cajoling we have dates for two kick-ass tour legs and an amazing Anniversary show in our own backyard! People are going to be ravenous for these tickets, so do yourself a favor and grab them ASAP!

OCTOBER:

10/13, Cleveland, OH -  Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors at Hilarities

10/14, Homestead, PA - Taken at the Pittsburgh Improv

10/16, Detroit, MI - Robocop 3 at the Majestic Theatre

NOVEMBER: 

11/18, Charlotte, NC - Under Siege at The Comedy Zone

11/19, Asheville, NC - Junior at The Orange Peel

11/21, Nashville, TN - Footloose (1984) at Zanies

DECEMBER:

12/9, Brooklyn, NY - The 10 Year Anniversary Show (One Year Late) at The Bell House

Come see us live! You'll regret it if you don't!

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 556 – Iron Man (Patrons Only)



For this month’s We Love Movies episode, the boys head back to the impact point for the MCU, in which Robert Downey Jr. redeems decades of excellent acting and above-and-beyond drug consumption in his note-perfect portrayal of Tony Stark, the billionaire war-profiteer turned righteous tech-guru Jesus in a tank suit. Is it possible this movie almost has good politics? Is Gwyneth Paltrow good in this? Was the writing on the wall that this was the beginning of the end? JON FAVREAU BUILT THIS IN A CAVE, FROM SCRAPS…AND MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

Episode 557 – Iron Man 2

Those sophomore slumps can come at you hard and fast, baby! Andrew, Eric, Steve, and Chris return to the MCU to see the immediate, insidious franchise management that went into effect upon the success of Iron Man in its sequel, which sees Tony facing off with Mickey Rourke’s Whiplash and some prick played inevitably by Sam Rockwell. Is Mickey Rourke good in this? How horny can you make your superhero movie? Could we possibly attempt to make one movie instead of seven or is that just impossible at this point? You just had to have an Elon Musk cameo, didn’t you, you fucking pigs!

Episode 558 – Turner & Hooch 



Oh good, dog death. The gang goes feral as they attempt to comprehend the thinking behind making a kids movie that is also a grisly cop drama and a guidebook for killing your dog. Tom Hank is looking hot as hell, but does not this character deserve a firing squad? Maybe a drunk and sadistic firing squad? Why must the great Reginald VelJohnson be cast as a useless cop-in-waiting? What is with all the small-town pleasantries? Is the dog really dead? I’m sorry, I got distracted by the hard drugs and the point-blank murders.

Episode 559 – The Village

Andrew, Steve, Chris, and Eric board the reappraisal railroad to take a second look at what many people now consider a wrongly derided masterwork, the story of a weird conservative village and the different kinds of monsters that encircle it. Must all directors with any sense of individual style be heralded now since so little gets through? Why does this movie hinge on a late reveal that would have done more earlier? What is the deal with Brody’s character? It’s not bad, folks, but it’s not some misunderstood Iraq War-era classic either.

Episode 560 –The Mummy Returns



To wrap up the 2021 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza, the fellas head out with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz (and their horrid boy-offspring) one more time to fight the all-powerful mummy once again, who now wants to get some extra armies from a Dwayne Johnson CGI-nightmare-scorpion-thing. Why does this movie feel seven hours long? Was all of this worth them correcting Weisz’s eyebrows? Can someone kill this kid or what? Until next summer, folks!

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: I spent the last few weeks trying to play catch-up with the massive pile(s) of disc media sitting in the studio—just ask the guys, they see it every week and are horrified—and I managed to make a very minor dent in the mountain! I revisited Donnie Darko thanks to the new Arrow 4K disc that just came out a few weeks back. It has both the theatrical and director's cuts, but I've only checked out the theatrical so far. Boy, the movie definitely holds up. I say this, in spite of it playing really differently for me this time though. I'm not even sure I can articulate just how it played differently either. I couldn't tell you the last time I'd watched the film top to bottom, but it had to have been at least 10 years. 

I also watched the new Criterion release of Bill Duke's Deep Cover, one of the all-time great (and totally underseen) L.A. crime films of the '90s. Larry Fishburne is a goddamn force of NATURE in that movie. I also checked out Criterion's Bringing Up Baby release. It's such a comic masterpiece—and it's completely wild that it was Katherine Hepburn's first crack at comedy. Yowza. 

Oh, and bless the good folks at Kino Lorber for releasing Tuff Turf on blu-ray. That goddamn "I Walk the Night" song will get stuck in your head for days. Long live Jack Mack and the Heart Attack! 

On the new(er) films side of things, I rewatched Zola last weekend and still think it's great. I also finally checked out Nobody starring Bob Odenkirk. It was fun as hell and I gotta say, Christopher Lloyd just icing dudes with a shot gun? More please! 

Chris: The moving has concluded, finally! Now that Cabin International has new corporate offices, I as able to actually go out and start seeing movies again. Can you imagine? First up was F9, which I believe I am on record already as saying its one of the better entries in that righteously ridiculous franchise. That was followed by Michael Sarnoski’s excellent Pig, wherein Nicolas Cage gives one of those casually brilliant performances that he busts out on occasion, just to remind everyone that he’s actually the king. This is not to downplay Sornaski’s talents as a visual storyteller – he builds an appealingly allusive yet detailed world out of the world of professional cooking in Portland that reminds me of Rian Johnson and Jeff Nichols. Even so, I have trouble believing Pig would cohere without Cage going hard in the paint. Finally, and I really can’t believe I’m typing this, I really liked Old. I might love Old, even with the dumb ass ending and all. I’ve been waiting to see anything that stirs the same adoration for Shyamalan’s post-Village work that many younger critics seem marked by. The more I think about Glass, the more I like it, but Old is the one where I felt it from the very beginning. The dialogue is less aggressively self-aware here, though there is some talk that will make you furrow your brow or roll your eyes. The movie has actual stakes that it sticks to, and the premise never outweighs the characters, editing, or camerawork, which has been a major issue with Shyamalan since the early aughts. I won’t say anything else other than you should make a point of seeing Old on the big screen, something I was relatively certain I wasn’t going to say again after The Lady in the Water.

Eric: I think the biggest and best discovery of mine this past month has been Eastern Condors (1987) directed by the great actor/director Sammo Hung. The movie appears to be a bit hard to find, I caught it one Sunday afternoon streaming on the Spectacle Theater website as part of their weekly Kung Fu program called Fist Church. Basically the movie is a Rambo movie meets The Dirty Dozen. It's set just after the Vietnam War and the US military rounds up Chinese prisoners living in America to go on a suicide mission in exchange for pardons. The suicide mission in question? Well, just sneak into Vietnam and destroy a depot of missiles the US Government left behind when they pulled out. Uncle Sam doesn't want those missiles falling into the wrong hands! Anyway, the movie is a top to bottom joy of action cinema. I cannot recommend it enough, if you can find it.

Another movie I loved was Pig starring Nic Cage. I actually went into this movie without ever having watched a trailer. I couldn't believe I was putting the Stephen Sajdak strategy into motion myself. It was worth it, gotta say. It was definitely beneficial to not know much about it beyond it's about a guy trying to get his pig back. Oink it up, my friends.

Steve:   I am happy to report that I mostly liked Black Widow and Old! Black Widow could've used more ScarJo in my opinion (wasn't that supposed to be the point), but I really liked Florence Pugh as the new Black Widow. It's weird though how, after the fact that so much of the movie seems like a Disney+ marketing expense: getting new subscribers by hooking them with a blockbuster and then keeping them excited for the upcoming Hawkeye show. But what do I know, I'm not a lawyer!!

Old  was the most I've been entertained by a Shyamalan since Signs, so that has to count for a lot. It does have all of his shortcomings baked right in, but I guess that's par for the course. I do despise him as an actor in this film. It's a small-ish role, but literally any other character actor would add something to the flick with presence and ya know ACTING, but nope. He's gotta be there! 

Speaking of Shyamalan, we rewatched The Sixth Sense for the first time in what has to be at lest a decade and man, it really holds up! It's competently scary, emotionally moving, stylish, and well acted all while never stopping to be a very successful magic trick all at the same time. He's never lying to the audience—he's just placing the camera at the right angle or starting scenes just at the right time at first glance you can assume nothing fishy is going on (SPOILER: SOMETHING VERY FISHY IS GOING ON). 

Oh, and I'm really into the new Mike White show The White Lotus on HBO. A perfect encapsulation of white privilege on parade and how weird it is to be stuck at a resort with awful people (while being an awful person yourself!). Terrific cast, awesome music, and an overwhelming sense of dread. High comedy!

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from 

Rikki from London who asks: 

"Hi guys! We have been binge listening to the show over the last few weeks at work, and wanted to know if you each have a favourite standout great performance in an otherwise shitty movie? We settled on Michael Fassbender in X-Men: Apocalypse."

Andrew: It's funny, I read this question and then had to bolt out to a screening of Respect before I could write my response. During the screening, the perfect answer hit me. So often these biopics will have a super-solid lead and everything else doesn't live up to that one performance (not the case with Respect, btw there's a lot of great to be had there) and where that happened recently was the film Judy, Rupert Goold's dreadful film about a post-child stardom Judy Garland. Everything about that movie is absolutely, completely, totally horrendous with the exception of Renée Zellweger's performance. I don't know if it's my favorite example of that happening, but it's the first one that jumped out at me. Zellweger is fantastic and certainly earned that Oscar, but otherwise, what a wretched pile of shit that movie turned out to be. Yikes!

Chris: Well, Jesus, there are a lot of those. The most obvious one of recent note is Joker, in which Joaquin Phoenix transcends dozens of layers of garbage heaped onto his back by Todd Phillips to give a magnetic and viscerally anxious performance that nearly made me not mind Phillips’ inability to stop jerking himself off. Danny McBride has a long history of nailing smalltime roles in mostly mediocre or outright bad movies, such as This is the End, 30 Minutes or Less, Land of the Lost, and Don Verdean. If I had to pick the very best one, I must go with a basic bitch selection: The Lord Himself Philip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly. A comedic performance so profoundly inventive and energetic that it makes an ostensibly bad movie into one I recommend regularly.


Eric:  Great performance in an otherwise shitty movie? Contrary to what you might think I am actually above making a joke here about Jackie Kennedy. Instead, I am going to give you a real answer here. Jim Carrey in Sonic the Headgehog. Margot Robbie in the first Suicide Squad is another one that comes to mind. And a big one for me is Ewan McGregor in the Star Wars prequels, I like him as Obi-Wan Kenobi but those movies are not good no matter how many 20 year olds tell me otherwise on Twitter. I am actually really looking forward to that Kenobi show for this very reason.


Steve: Lots of great ones have been taken off the board already by my esteemed colleagues, but heres a few of my favorites (or since you're from London) favourites:

-Sigourney Weaver in Alien: Resurrection a film that makes incredibly stupid decisions for an iconic character, but Weaver is so game you almost think they work (they don't!)

-James McAvoy in Split (since I have Shyamalan on the brain), I think that movie is pretty not good and he elevates it by going WHOLE HAM and really committing. It's a firecracker performance in a bag of dog turds.

-Dustin Hoffman in Hook—just one of the creepiest fucking performances I've ever seen and he's totally committed to make you loathe this little Captain Hook and it works! 

I can go on and on here! Great question!

AUGUST SCHEDULE

Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out in the month of August!  

Episode 561 —  Puss in Boots (2011) with Ben Worcester (for real this time!)

PATREON NEXUS UNLOCK — Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Episode 563 — Witchboard LIVE from the Salem Horror Fest

PATREON MAIN FEED UNLOCK  — Jungle 2 Jungle

Episode 564 — Mad Max: Beyond Thunderome LIVE from the FRQNCY1 Festival! Including the GRAND FINALE of the VHS Trailer Game for Season 11!


Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — Mad Max

Animation Damnation — Tales from the Cryptkeeper (s2, e1) "Game Over" LIVE from the Salem Horror Fest

The Nexus: TOS: "The Omega Glory" (s2 e23) TNG: "The Bonding" (s3, e5)

Gleep Glossary: Aurra Sing

Melr0210: 90210: "Play it Again, David" (s2, e5) Melrose Place: Irreconcilable Simularities"  (s1, e25)

Once in a Lifetime: Deadly Mile High Club with Jenn (Steve's wife)!

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! now!

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION




Folks, you gotta check out our Youtube Channel! You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, Green Rooms, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like The Mummy, Witless Protection, and P.S I Love You! Eric has also put out great clip packages like David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, Egg Lawyer, Lak Sivrak, the Wolfman of Star Wars, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 



We just want to let you folks know that the Scanner Cop 1 & 2 collection is back in stock on the Vinegar Syndrome website! Why should you care? Well, A.) Those movies are awesome and B.) Scanner Cop features a synchable, hilarious commentary by your friends at We Hate Movies! Get your copy now before it's off the market! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric annoys Ben with a soundboard as they discuss the Season 3 Finale of our favorite hedgehog policeman! Listen here!

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We've got awesome designs including some brand new art by Felix for the totally un-crooked VHS Trailer Game! Be sure to check out their awesome art at their instagram @abrakadamnart. We also have a ton of great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! 

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! Thank you all for your incredible support and we'll see you next month for the start of SEASON 12!

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies