Life's Not a Fairy Tale (No Matter How Much I Want It To Be) Book.1 Epilogue (Patreon)

AN: I know this ending is going to seem a bit abrupt to people but I feel like it’s necessary at the moment. Ending ‘book 1’ after Romeo paid off his debt seemed like it was a good place to stop. I left the ending open, with some new ideas to explore and a cliffhanger, for when I want to come back to it. I have no idea when (if) I’ll be coming back to this story but there’s definitely more to write here if I want to.

For now, though, I just needed an ending and this is it. So thank you to everyone for the support you’ve shown this story. It hasn’t been one of my most successful stories but I’ve had fun writing it.

I have another project I’ve been itching to work on and I want to give that all of my attention. My next story will be a bit different from what I usually write (no harem, more self-contained, and with a definite ending in mind). I think the concept has a lot of potential though so be on the lookout for that one. It’ll be titled “Never Give a Yandere a Bolter” and I should feel ready to publish the first couple of chapters of it soon.

First

First sighed contentedly. Another one of his collective multiversal consciousness was coming into his own. The debt was always the hardest part for his alternates to overcome. Well, that and whichever Company entity First managed to convince to cosponsor that particular alternate.

Some of those entities could be downright malicious. Not that that malice ever amounted to much. First wasn’t about to allow some lowly Patron to make him lose one of himself. They could, however, make the initial process of ascension very difficult for him and his alternate.

The most damaged of him always ended up with the Fae though. That never changed. Something about the resonance with his childhood and the stories he still dreamed about. Every hundred cycles or so, another version of himself would lose their name and come out better for it. Those alternates always got extra attention from him. The Fae could be the best or the worst of the Patrons and it was usually only First’s aid that ensured those alternates weren’t lost.

The circumstances of his alternates’ ascensions were never quite the same as his own. But one thing never changed. First, Romeo, ____, or whatever else you wanted to call him always made one consistent choice. A choice that, regardless of that version’s history, resulted in him sitting in a park as midnight rang in a new year.

What he was doing in that park varied greatly. Anything was possible. From a simple pitstop to contemplating suicide. And what happened next was just as varied thanks to the difference between each version’s Patrons. But First always ended up intercepting his alternates in their transition between worlds to kick off the cycle again.

First never minded playing the mentor role for his alternates. It was straightforward and nostalgic, with an ever-changing challenge thanks to the differences between each alternate’s other Patron. All he had to do was help himself to the best of his ability. First didn’t even have to be there in his True Form. Most of the time, he just split off a portion of his consciousness and left it to focus on the cycle.

When it came to the infinity of the multiverse, time didn’t work. Events didn’t happen one after the other. There was no ‘when’ for them to happen at. They just happened. Continuity was flexible and not easily broken. Such was the way First’s cycle played out as well. It just happened as it pleased and First was there to nudge it along.

Enabling the cycle of his ascension had become a bit of a side hobby for First. Something he could let run in the background while he went about his duties as one of the Company’s Firsts.

First was the First of his name, or lack thereof. He was where the cycles began and where they would end. He was the Singularity of countless versions of himself. He was the conduit between his alternates and the Company’s Catalog.

Not the Company itself, per se, though there was also a connection there. No, First was connected directly to the Catalog. He only became connected to the Company after he had already ascended the first time.

Long, long ago, in First’s first cycle, in the limbo between one year and the next, he received a letter. A letter that sought him out while he was alone in that park in his original universe. It slipped out from between the folds of reality to float down and land in his lap. In that letter, First had found a simple-seeming mail-order Catalog that promised the impossible.

He received no visit from a Patron; no greater indication of what had been set in motion. Just a letter. Just a Catalog.

First was the only version of himself that managed to leave that park. There was no Patron to whisk him away from his world. He just had to mail the Catalog. There were no mailboxes in that park but he only had to travel a short way to find a public one. And when he slipped that filled-out Catalog into that completely unremarkable mailbox, everything changed.

First shook his head. He wasn’t too big a fan of the Company. All of that bureaucracy and sin in the name of ‘profit’. It was built around the Catalog though. First wanted to keep his direct connection with the Catalog out of jealous eyes and minds. The simplest way to do that was to join the not-yet-formed/already-established/long-collapsed Company.

The Company knew about his secret. They had others like him as well. All of their ‘First Contractors’ were like him. Their direct connection to the Catalog was what made them ‘Firsts’. That knowledge had been so well suppressed within the Company that only his fellow ‘Firsts’ were still aware of it. None of the Patrons or Company investors or executives knew that the Company was one big excuse that the ‘Firsts’ used to cover their direct connections to the Catalog.

He was getting off track though. His story could always be told at another time. This story was about the version of himself he’d dubbed ‘Romeo’.

Romeo didn’t know it yet but he’d already paid off his debt to the Fae and the Company. First had taken the liberty to help Romeo sell the captures from his latest world. His alternate had done well there, paying off the debt and even earning some extra points that First set aside for him. Romeo was well on the path to ascension and, by Company standards, had a nice little nest egg tucked away for the future.

But if First knew anything about this version of himself, Romeo could use a bit of guidance right about now. He was a free man now, discounting his working relationship with the Company, and he wouldn’t know the first thing to do with that freedom. Considering he was an incarnation of a First Contractor, that working relationship was pretty damn easy to discount. First didn’t mind watching out for Romeo for a relatively little while longer until he joined the many other ascended versions of himself.

At least this version of himself had a workable goal in life. All of First’s alternates had goals of some direction or another. The goals were usually influenced by that version’s history and their other Patron. Romeo’s desire to spread happy endings was simple and admirable compared to some of the goals other versions of himself ended up with. And while First didn’t discriminate based on the goal, straightforward goals like Romeo’s did make supporting them easier.

For First, his alternates’ goals were his own, no matter how benevolent or spiteful the goal was. He was a Singularity of himself and that made supporting his other versions the natural thing to do. So he gathered up Ted — Romeo’s assigned representative from the Fae — and went to give his most recent alternate some guidance.

First appeared at Romeo’s dining table while Romeo and his Companions were having breakfast. He’d slipped into Romeo’s pocket dimension with ease. First knew his timing was perfect. Extermination Day was already over and Romeo had been feeling lost and ready to move on. They would have left this world after breakfast anyway, First just caught them before they could leave.

“Congratulations on paying off your debt, Romeo. As far as the Fae are concerned, you’re now even. Pass the syrup, please?” First said in a casual voice.

The way Romeo, the digitized woman, and the Hellhound — Alt Cunningham and Loona, First knew — jumped at his sudden arrival made him smirk internally. The shortstack girl — Rebecca — barely acknowledged his appearance out of thin air at all though. She glanced at him but then went straight back to scarfing down a plate of waffles as tall as she was.

The Fae gave Romeo a short round of applause. Its clapping sounded like metal striking metal. That creepy grin spread across its face as everyone but First and Becca cringed at the sound. First rolled his eyes. Ted might have been better than the rest of the Fae but he still liked fucking with people way too much to be healthy.

“So what will you do now that you’re free, Romeo?” First asked.

Romeo took a moment to regain his bearings and hand First the syrup before he replied, “I-I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about it lately but I’ve still got no ideas.”

The Fae’s grin flashed too-white teeth, “As long as you continue to make a profit, We shall support you in all of your endeavors.”

Romeo glanced at First for confirmation and First shrugged, “You haven’t been mentored enough, have you? I figured I would stick around for a little while and show you some things you can do now.”

“Like what?” Romeo asked.

First smirked, “Ladies? Do you mind if I borrow Romeo for a moment?”

Becca waved him off, already knowing that First didn’t have any malicious intentions. Alt and Loona looked at each other and shrugged. The only one who looked like they were about to protest was Romeo. First whisked him away into the ether before he could.

As he was disappearing as well, First heard the Fae say awkwardly, “So… you guys like jazz?”

Stifling a giggle, First pulled Romeo along behind him. Romeo didn’t get a chance to say a word as he was dragged through the back alleys between dimensions. Their surroundings blurred and solidified into sharp edges. The impossible geometry they flew through eventually stabilized.

Romeo found himself ‘standing’ in mid-air. The area around him seemed contained yet also like it went on forever. Something formed a single point in front of him and also everything around him. It leaked streams of Data and code, Magic and runes, Life and DNA. The streams swirled around him, coalescing and tickling at his being. And the strangest thing was that Romeo didn’t feel out of place there. Everything around him felt natural and familiar in a way that Romeo was hard-pressed to describe.

“Welcome…” First said. “To our Singularity.”