Ch5 Pg54 (BEFORE & AFTER) (Patreon)

I'm not sure if the difference or the motivations behind it are too obvious - by all accounts, the art is solid and the linework is clean, so why even change anything?

It's for the storytelling, dude. It's all for the storytelling.

Before I start working on layouts for a page, I always ask myself what general idea I'm trying to communicate with it. How is this page going to move the plot forward? What step is it taking to drive the story? 

Once I have the answer, everything I put down on the page is with the motivation of communicating that answer. 

On this page, it was "The Perfect Shot has presented itself." 

Knowing that, is it easier to spot the problems I saw once I stopped rushing? 

I mean, look at the original fourth panel (on the right). How on earth is that an ideal shot? Sure, Brody's expression is great and full of rage, but also cluttered and full of unecessary details - not to mention how difficult of a shot that still presents.

(There's also the matter of moving Lyra's expression out of OOC territory and back into her proper characterization, but that's a different matter altogether.)

Gosh, I freaking love storytelling, dudes. 

What do you think? Do I overthink things? Can you think of examples from other stories with moments that weren't commicated clearly, despite their best attempts to do so?