RotGM Ch. 71 - The Golden Goddess (Patreon)

Unedited surprise for you all. Yes, double release today because I'm feeling inspired and really wanted to get to this scene! 

__________

Breakfast’s as lovely as it always is whenever Opalina’s in charge of the kitchen. She left me a lovely omelette, toast, sausages and a damn good cup of coffee. Unfortunately no one else had the same courtesy as the good doctor, so I have to wash up all the remaining dishes scattered about the place.

Luckily for me it sounds like I might not be the only one who cleans up around here for much longer.

Finally, the Breeding Tribe has arrived in Dewhurst after weeks of waiting! I’m ecstatic, and not just because it means I’ll be able to offset the chores to someone else. Getting some actual cleaning staff will be the gateway to lots of improvements as once this disgusting place is free of dust, cobwebs and abundant spiders we’ll be able to hire Gwin’s family to make renovations... at least, that was the plan before this whole cold war against the Duke of Dewhurst.

I have to focus on the positives. There’s no time to waste dwelling on negativity, the important thing is that there’s very little chance the Breeding Tribe is in the Duke’s pocket. Beastfolk are very honest people and even if they weren’t they aren’t Dewhurstians so I’d doubt they’d refuse me service just because some local thugs pressured them not to. The strength of the Beastfolk is not to be trifled with.

After cleaning up the dishes I head into my office and take a long, unsteady breath of dirty Guild air.

There’s no use denying it, I’m incredibly nervous and the cause of it is sitting on my desk. The sparkling bottle of beautiful, golden ambrosia imposingly looms over me, beckoning me closer.

According to Nikita, as soon as I make an offering to the Goddess then I’ll have an audience with her. She didn’t give me any details as to how it’d go down or whether the Goddess would come here, or if I would go somewhere else to meet her...

Needless to say I’m very skeptical of my mysterious benefactor’s intentions and I need to approach the oncoming situation like a psychological battle between myself and her. Thankfully such battles are the only kinds I’m good at.

I have three weapons I plan to use against her during our meeting, and each weapon is sharper than the last.

My first weapon is a very small shot glass that I brought from my collection. When I say it’s small, I mean it’s outright tiny. It’s only to be used for ridiculously powerful shots of the most potent spirits known across the realms, which seems fitting enough for the godly offering.

My second weapon is powered by the first, though that’ll make sense later on. It’s a list of questions that I wrote after thinking long and hard. From my interactions with her thus far I get the feeling that she’s an insufferable brat and that she’ll be far from co-operative with me on this, but even if less than half of them end up getting answered that’s still much more info than I’d have started the conversation with.

And for the third, well, I need to test it before I know if it works or not. But if all the context clues point to what I think they point to then it’s my greatest bargaining chip against the Goddess if I manage to get on her bad side.

Alright. After gathering my courage and pushing down the anxiety of my first meeting with the divine, I approach my desk with a heavy heart.

I’ve never been very religious, but I’m far from a heathen. I recognize that the twin Goddesses of Karnalle exist because it would be naive of me not to. They’ve both directly affected the ebb and flow of the realm’s history more times than I could count... but I’ve never had too much to be thankful for so... I’m not sure how to make this offering.

I guess I’ll just go with my gut.

Reaching out to the heavy bottle of magical liquid I pop the top off and a heavenly scent wafts from the opening. All at once every sweet smell that’s ever existed seemingly pours into my nostrils all at the same time and I have to snap consciously myself out of the desire to down the entire bottle myself.

This isn’t for me, no matter how badly I’d love a sip. Besides... if I drank it I’m almost certain I’d end up in one of those situations where I’d spend the rest of my life knowing every other beverage I drink would taste like piss in comparison. I’m not about to ruin my taste buds over a whim like that... but the desire is definitely real.

Pouring it out into the tiny shot glass doesn’t make it any easier but I manage to resist and I take the cup in my hand. Glancing upwards into the unknown, I raise the glass and clear my throat. “I present to you, my patron deity, a small taste of the offerings I have to give. Let us have an audience and discuss what must be discussed.”

...

Suddenly there’s an incessant laughter ringing out from within my heart. ‘That was lame as hell! Seriously? I know you pride yourself in acting and talking like one of those stuffy butler types but duuuude. Chill. Gimme a few, I’m doing my hair.’

“I’m not waiting. Not anymore. You have five minutes.”

‘...Excuse me? I’m sorry but my divine ears seem to have betrayed me, I could have SWORN you just ordered me around like some sort of common serving wench. Surely you didn’t just make a demand of ME? A GODDESS?’

“I did, and I’m waiting.”

‘...Wait just a moment longer, then.’ The Goddess takes on a fierce, defiant tone.

Sure enough five minutes pass by while I continue to hold the cup skyward. Just when my arm starts to get tired, the world around me phases out of existence in a warm, holy light. Only rather than blinding as one might expect it actually feels comforting, like the light was the collective physical manifestation of everything that was right in the universe. Like sugar, puppy dogs, and the laughter of a child all rolled into one. I feel safe within it... calm, collected, and totally at peace.

When the light fades I realize I’m no longer in my office, though I’d imagine that goes without saying. I don’t think I’m even in Karnalle anymore, or any mortal realm for that matter.

I find myself on what looks like an immense gazebo high in the sky. The structure is wondrous, floors made of the purest and whitest material I’ve ever seen. The pillars and roof look as if they’re made entirely of light, but if light were entirely solid. I’ve never seen anything like this before. Particles of mystical light flot about bending and reflecting the world like a million tiny crystals, and fluffy clouds spread across the bright blue sky in all directions.

Further off in the horizon I can see a city styled in the same stylings and manner of the gazebo. Looking around I see that this city stretches in a complete circle around my current position which makes me think that this single gazebo in the sky is actually the centerpiece of the entire sky.

I may not be religious, but I know damn well where I am. This mystical realm of splendor and shininess can only be the Supernal Skies of Serenity, where the devout and pious of Lux Ultima’s worshippers are laid to their eternal rest. Or rather, they live in a giant city in the sky for all eternity, I guess.

That does it. I don’t even need to wait for her to show up now to verify her identity... but... if she really was Lux Ultima this entire time then why the hell couldn’t she have just said so? If she were more honest and just said she was the Goddess of Last Light I would have likely been much, MUCH more receptive of her particular brand of help.

Before I can linger on these thoughts for even a second more, a brilliant column of regal light shines down onto the center of the gazebo. This light is nothing like the one that transported me here, no, this light was holier than that. Even just looking at it compels me to bend my knee, cast aside all sin and beg for forgiveness for every wrong I’ve ever committed... only it seems as if it were never my choice to begin with. My knees buckle in the wake of this divine ray from below and I fall while carefully clutching the bottle of ambrosia to my breast.

The raised shot glass in my hand is the only thing that remains steady, the rest of me is compelled to tremble and lose myself in holy reverence of the light...

And then the center circle ceiling of the roof begins to lower itself down as if triggered by the light, becoming a raised platform and carrying upon it a single shrouded figure. The shroud, glimmering with beauty and almost incessant sparkles is held aloft by two beautiful doves. They swirl about their mistress before she snaps an unseen finger and the two white birds let drop the shroud and reveal to me a vision of magnificence unlike any other woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.

A single woman stands in the center of the platform. Upon her head is a glowing, golden halo with tiara-like protrusions at the top and she has long, flowing blonde hair that trickles off into wavy, impossibly looking thick curls like the flowing locks of an unnaturally beautiful maiden you might find in a masterful painting. Her hair seems to split off into two distinct separate major strands although I believe this is natural and she hasn’t tied up anything.

She wears a rather skimpy, golden bikini that reminds me of Sam’s armor if not just a little classier thanks to the fact that both the top and bottom parts give way to a white, gold-trimmed skirt that covers her up much more than my Princess.

All across her outfit are golden bracelets each set with shimmering blue crystals so brilliant that I’d wager selling even just one would allow you to buy an entire realm all to yourself.

Her body is tall, curved and busty. Not too dissimilar from Sam once again if I’m being honest, as I’ve said before the legend goes that the Goddesses created the Lundreame family to always protect and lead the people of Karnalle so perhaps I shouldn’t be too surprised that Lux Ultima might have used herself as reference.

The only difference major difference between Lux and her creations is that the Goddess doesn’t possess the famed green eyes of the royal family and instead hers are a shining, pure blue that are entirely pupilless... just like my own, save for mine being pure white with just a tinge of purple-y pink from what I’ve been told.

Every single part of the Goddess is shining in that same warm light that transported me here and I feel at ease in her presence... but I catch a faint flicker of something... off. She reacts to the small shimmering of her aura but shakes it off as if I didn’t notice and continues staring down at me in a dignified manner.

Our eyes meet and something clicks inside of me. Why am I on my knees again? Suddenly I can loosen my posture and stand up once again. I don’t know for sure but I’ve got a good idea about whatever the hell that flickering just was, and the confidence seems enough to overcome this godly pressure I feel in her presence.

At long, long last the platform touches the floor and it dissipates into an uncountable number of shimmering particles that circle and dance about the sky with refined elegance.

There’s no longer any shred of doubt, my magical pimp-slash-wingman has been the better half of Karnalle’s creator deities this entire time.

We stand face to face and eye to eye, a single bead of sweat forming on my brow. Lux Ultima raises her chin as if to look down on me and she raises her hand. “Why do you not bow before me, Mortal? Does your arrogance truly reach such levels that you can’t even show proper reverence to the creator of your everything?” Her voice is much, much deeper and silkier than it typically sounds when we speak.

Her aura flickers again and once more her expression briefly changes to one of total panic. She mistakenly believes I couldn’t have noticed it, and I suppose she’s being polite enough not to read my mind during our meeting.

If she didn’t want me to notice such things then she shouldn’t have given me amazingly magical eyes that can detect almost anything.

“If you’re not going to take this seriously then I’ll walk straight over to the railings and dump this entire bottle into the clouds.”

“WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU, YOU FUCKING-” The sky goes blacker than oblivion as she raises her voice at me, the clouds once tranquil and pleasant now distort into a growing mailstrom. Lightning rains down like a thousand terrifying arrows onto the heavenly city, tearing down buildings and creating fires that stretch as far as the eye can see.

She totally just completely destroyed most of her own realm in the blink of an eye... if I wasn’t drunk on my own courage right now, I would be facing an existential dread upon realizing that she could likely do the same thing to Karnalle at any given time with no warning whatsoever.

I walk out over to the edge of the gazebo just as promised and extend my arm. I barely even have to pretend to start pouring it before she races to my side with all the grace and elegance of a drug addict looking for her next fix. “WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT STOP DON’T NOOO-”

“Stop pretending and play along and you’ll get the entire bottle. You want it, yes?”

She looks at me warily and tries to scoff at me disingenuously. “Look, look. I’m sure you’re upset and all that but I’m not pretending about anything! Look at me, I’m the fucking Goddess of the Last Light for fuck’s sake!”

...

I pour the tiniest droplet of ambrosia out into the clouds and she shrieks like a little child. In an instant a bright aura explodes from the tall, busty goddess and she turns into a much smaller and younger looking version of the same girl who’s about as tall as Zutiria if not a little bit taller although that may just be her halo.

“YOU BASTARD, I CAN’T DRINK ANY OF THAT SHIT IF YOU DON’T DIRECTLY OFFER IT TO ME!! GOOD FUCKING JOB YOU WORTHLESS PENCIL-PUSHER, THAT’S THE CLOUD’S AMBROSIA NOW!!”

Look. I’m a nice person. I would never hurt a woman, especially not one who looks so young. I think my actions until this very moment have spoken enough about my character to prove I’m nothing more than a refined gentleman with a cynical exterior and a soft, caring heart.

But this bitch needs to be put in her fucking place and slapped across the face.

So after setting down the ambrosia and the shotglass safely on the floor, I do it.

I slap the Goddess who created Karnalle.

The Goddess whose duty it is to watch over our lives and fill our days with hope, light and blessings.

Where were my blessings?

A pair of eyes that hurt and made everyone hate me? My grandpa dying of literal disappointment before those same very eyes? Endless of years of failure where I worked my heart out studying to run a business ever since I was ten fucking years old? Five straight years of depression?!

Now this bitch shows up and starts dropping endless pussy in my life like it’s supposed to make up for all the years I spent in abject misery?

“FUCK YOU, BITCH!” I shout as I summon every inch of strength in my body to slap her across her bratty fucking face.

Don’t judge me. If you were face to face with your own God and know you could get away with it, you’d do the same.

She falls backwards in pain and stares at me from the floor in total shock.

“You... y-y-you... You HIT me...!!”

“Yeah, what’re you going to do about it? Smite me?”

Tears form in the little Goddess’s eyes and her lip quivers, ugh, she’s even dripping snot from her nose... “Y-YES. That’s right! I’ll smite you!”

“Fucking DO IT, then!” I spread my arms out.

Lux Ultima looks at me in total confusion. “WHAT?!”

“SMITE. ME.”

Her crying becomes even more intense and she begins to crawl backwards away from me. “J-Just you wait, you JERK. I’ll... um... go do the thing after I visit my divine armory and then you’ll be smited SO HARD!”

I’m not taking this, I don’t have to. Not when her actions have confirmed that my third and strongest weapon was indeed sharp all along. With exaggerated swagger and as menacing an aura as I can muster I squat over her body and look straight into her face with the very same eyes she saw fit to give me. Twisting my expression into a deranged, sharp grin I try my best to channel Dewhurst’s finest and look the way Meri seems to think I look.

It works. Lux Ultima cowers in fear and shakes like a trembling babe.

“You can’t smite me.” I spit the truth out with smug superiority.

Lux bites her quivering lip as she tries to look away, but can’t.

“You need me, don’t you? I have some sort of bullshit destiny that you planned out and you need me to act on it and you can’t punish me even if you wanted to. Isn’t that right?”

She meekly nods her head even wimpier than Meri at her worst.

“Are you ready to behave yourself and have a nice talk with me, Luxy?”

“W... What did you just call me?”

“Luxy. Lux Ultima is much too high and mighty for a little brat like you, I think. If you have an objection then I’m perfectly fine with making good on my previous threat and watering the clouds with yet more ambrosia.”

“N-no... please... I want it so bad, I-”

“THEN TELL ME EVERYTHING!” I shout and lean in closer, causing the Goddess to shriek in terror.

Suddenly all the anger from the serene sky world drifts away and is replaced with a dull, somber grey. The clouds wash the fiery city of heaven to an anxious standstill with a downpour of rain.

“S... STAHP BEIN’ MEAN TO MEEEE!” Luxy blubbers... before her cheeks become fully red from an unknown embarrassment stronger than any she’s ever felt before, and her pupils shrink to being the tiniest little pinpricks imaginable.

Then I notice the smell.

Looking down at her properly, a golden liquid puddles below the shaking Goddess. Just to be sure I look over my shoulder and... lo and behold- the ambrosia is still sitting safely upright exactly where I left it.

Lux Ultima just pissed herself.