Love Addict's RPG Vol. 2 Ch. 61 (Patreon)

And we're back!

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It was just after ten in the morning, and the smell of a perfect American breakfast in all its questionable glory flavored the air of Mia's apartment. Crispy bacon, smoky sausage links, fluffy eggs, fragrant pancake batter… it was everything a man could want after a long night spent in his lover’s embrace, and it was more than Oliver Chase dreamed he’d get out of life.

He’d been through a lot to get where he was. Highschool trauma, years wasted idolizing blackpilled grifters, extensive therapy to recover from it, the sudden development of dating sim-themed superpowers, a long and grueling boxing match against a pair of muscle-headed Mexican twins… you could say a lot about the kid, his ups and downs, but you couldn’t say Oliver didn’t know how to keep pushing and giving it his all.

Not when there was something he wanted.

As of this moment, the thing Oliver wanted was to make his beloved girlfriend of four days, Mia Rosas, the happiest girl in the history of existence. A lofty goal, maybe even a little obsessive, but he'd only be returning the favor. It was the way she made him feel about himself, after all.

Unfortunately, getting there wouldn’t be easy.

Oliver needed to start making the most of his previously-mentioned powers by flirting with other women to gain enough 'Love Points' to further his psychic development. If he did, a cure for Mia’s injured wrist might be within his reach. Maybe.

His powers were pretty screwy, and he didn’t know what specifically would happen once he’d unlocked Mia’s skill menu upon maxing out her Heart Events. Still, given the insane shit he’d unlocked for himself thus far, it was worth a shot to give her the artist's life she dreamed of.

It was a good thing Oliver had Mia’s full permission to flirt with other women. Truthfully speaking, he had permission to go a lot farther than that. Mia was just as screwy as his powers and actually got off on the idea of sharing him.

It was a whole thing. A cosmic coincidence, perhaps. That, or a gift from God.

His goal moving forward was simple. Get as much LP from his registered heroines as he can, regardless of whether or not said heroine is Mia. That conveniently brings us to the girl sitting next to Oliver on the couch, Zoe Myers.

Zoe was Mia’s best friend, roommate, the subject of god knows how many of Mia’s repressed bisexual fantasies, and a professional Tweak streamer. She was also a contender for the most annoying person Oliver had ever met- an honor she’d earned not even ten minutes after introducing herself.

“Oh, yeah. Right there. Riiiiight fucking there, you shit-eating bitch-baby…” Zoe grinned madly at the screen of her handheld gaming device, fingers blurring as she performed a dizzying number of actions per second. Her internal theme song was still playing within Oliver's brain, but he'd grown so used to this phenomenon that it was hardly worth mentioning since at least it wasn't unpleasant or distracting.

Like Oliver, Zoe was waiting for Mia to finish cooking breakfast. She also happened to be doing so in maximum comfort, careless toward the wandering eyes of her present company.

Having changed out of her skimpy work clothes and gotten some caffeine in her system, Zoe now wore a big, round pair of glasses over her sharp-looking purple eyes, pajama pants with a repeating game controller print design, and a black tube top with pixelated white text running across the surface that read ‘I AM ERROR’.

Putting it bluntly, the tube top was tiny, and Zoe’s chest was not. Her entire midriff was on display, as were about ninety percent of her tits. Not a huge deal. Oliver wasn’t going to gawk at her for dressing how she liked in her own home; he was going to gawk at her because, on top of being phenomenally hot, Zoe couldn’t sit fucking still.

She’d crushed two cans of Gamer Gulpies in the last twenty minutes, and the world might as well have been in slow motion because of all the sugary caffeine in her system. Constantly shifting around, Zoe seemed unable to keep the same pose for more than ten seconds at a time, and the more she wiggled around playing her game, the more her massive tits bounced up and down and all around.

It didn't help that her posture was sloppy and unguarded, with spread legs and an overall complete disregard toward the fact that a member of the opposite sex was sitting beside her.

Oliver was only human. A human man, at that, and one with hardly any sexual experience. He hadn't even seen his girlfriend naked yet, aside from a quick, unintended peek at her chest this morning.

He gulped, remembering his promise.

Zoe was Mia's closest friend, and she wanted them to get along. That would've been reasonable enough if it weren't for the fact that Zoe was designated as a heroine by his powers. This meant it was conceivable for him to begin a romantic relationship with her and, more importantly, that he would get LP for interacting with her.

Doing so was almost unthinkable. She was loud, obnoxious, rude, and more than anything else, Oliver felt that Zoe severely underappreciated everything Mia did for her. There wasn't much more that could sour someone to him than that. Mia claimed he didn't know her as well as she did, and while true, first impressions counted for a lot.

Even so, Oliver couldn't afford not to make an effort with Zoe. He needed the LP, and befriending Zoe would make Mia even happier with him. There was also the fact that he'd promised Mia he wouldn't object to some kind of throuple going on between them if given a chance. He'd said this to make her happy and pressure himself into fully realizing his powers, but in retrospect, it felt like he'd shoved his foot in his mouth and now had to live up to it.

Whether or not he ended up with the beginnings of a harem or just a new casual acquaintance, Rome wasn't built in a day. He wouldn't get anywhere just by zoning out and admiring Zoe's mesmerizing curves. He had to actually talk to her sooner or later, and as intimidating as she was, what with her sharp eyes and evil smile, Oliver wasn't the same person he was a little over a week ago.

This is nothing. I can do this. I'm gonna go for it as soon as I get a chance. No more moping around; I need to actually talk to her.

His mind made up, Oliver waited for the right moment.

“Aw, yeah,” Zoe raised her Vapor Dock triumphantly into the sky, the black brick blasting celebratory music from its speakers. “Halfway there, baby!”

“So what’re you playing over there, anyway?” Oliver asked, going for it. “The music sounds familiar.”

Zoe answered without looking at him, though she spoke in a chipper, upbeat tone. “Gambler’s Paradise, ever heard of it?”

“No,” Oliver had only played one game in the last week, that being a satanic life simulator with his girlfriend. “What is it?”

Zoe flashed the screen at him long enough for him to glance at it and practically see straight down her shirt while he did. “Check this shit out! It’s this dope-as-hell new roguelike where you fight anthropomorphized poker chips, dice, and playing cards while trying to escape from this giant casino, right? It’s got some cool synergies with all the different power-ups and the soundtrack fucking slaps, too. Same composer of Battle Barons, which might be where your wires got crossed?”

“Oh, shit. Okay. I've played that one and can definitely hear it's the same guy now that you mention it, yeah. Gambler's Paradise sounds pretty fun, too. I’ve only ever played a few roguelikes, though.” Oliver said, proud of himself for focusing on the game and not the tits. Mostly.

“It's got my full stamp of approval, but you gotta keep in mind it's in early access right now. Devs have a real solid track record with their last game, so I ain't worried about them up and fucking off, but-" Zoe had left her phone sitting on the nearby coffee table, where it began to buzz. Again. "Ah, shit. Hold on a sec, bro." Pausing her game and placing the handheld to her side, she reached out and picked it up. Again.

Zoe had done this about four times in the last two minutes. Each time, she'd respond to a message on one of her social media accounts before setting the phone back down and returning to the comforting amusement of Gambler's Paradise until the process repeated itself. It felt to Oliver more like the game was a temporary distraction from her phone instead of the other way around.

"Sorry bout that," Zoe glanced at him for once, complimenting it with a sharp smirk. "Can't leave my fans hanging, you know?"

“I've never had any fans, so I can't say that I do, no. But it's cool. Do what you gotta do.”

Oliver was pretty against anti-social media in general because of what they did to him once upon a time, but he wasn't so cynical that he looked down on other people for using them. They were simply a part of life now, and some people had careers that depended on them having an online presence wherever they could.

Zoe fell into that camp as a professional streamer, and it was understandable she was so on edge and eager to communicate with her supporters in light of what had just happened. She’d been temporarily banned for a week owing to a wardrobe malfunction which she claimed was a crock of shit. You couldn't have a nipple slip if you were wearing pasties, right? It would only be a pasty slip, which Zoe argued wasn't against Tweak's TOS.

It seemed like semantics to Oliver, but the less time he spent thinking about her pasties, the better. Zoe's rack was already on his mind too much to begin with, which was something that didn’t go unnoticed.

“Enjoying the view?”

Oliver looked away. “What view?”

“Heh. Yeah, right! Just cause I’m not looking at you doesn’t mean I can’t sense how you’re perving out on me. Christ, dude. You’re about as thirsty as my chat!”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

“Oh, yeah?” Zoe tore her attention from her game long enough to shoot him a smirk. ”And what makes you so sure?”

“I have a girlfriend, for one. I’m willing to bet that having an outlet for my thirst puts me head and shoulders above most of your viewers.”

“Hehehe! Well, you ain’t wrong about that! Bunch of adorable virgins, the lot of ‘em.”

[Zoe has gained +1 Affection!]

Much to Oliver’s relief, Zoe liked that one. Good thing she didn’t take herself too seriously. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have known what tone to take with her going forward.

Zoe was still new to him, and he hadn’t yet adapted to her or the idea of wooing her, but seeing his first affection boost with a brand new heroine gave him a bit of that old ‘number go up’ confidence that he was becoming increasingly dependent on as of late.

He might’ve pressed his advantage and continued chatting her up if this were someone else. Instead, Zoe kept talking, swerving the conversation toward an even more uncomfortable direction than the last.

“Thaaaat kinda begs the question, though, doesn’t it…? Is this girlfriend of yours taking good enough care of you down there, or what? I mean, you shouldn’t have any reason to be creeping on me if you’re nice and happy with Mia, right?”

Oliver made the mistake of lowering his guard. He was swept up into her pace, left feeling awkward and in a rush to explain himself. “I’m not creeping on you. You’re just…”

“Just what?” She cocked her head. “Asking for it?”

“N-No, of course not! I-”

“Oh, lord, he stutters and everything…” Zoe snorted, then turned her attention toward the kitchen. “Yo, Mia! Your boyfriend keeps staring at my tits!”

Oliver experienced the briefest moment of existential dread, fearing for his fate. Then he remembered the quality of his girlfriend’s character and relaxed significantly.

“Tits like yours? In a top like that? Be weirder if he wasn’t staring. Shit looks like it hasn’t fit you since first grade, you camwhore.” A tired, deadpan voice responded from the other end of the room.

“Oof. Can’t believe I just got slut-shamed in my own fucking home.” Zoe let out a mock sigh and arched her back, Oliver pointedly looking away from what was now jutting out. “Guess you’re off the hook, perv, so go ahead and look as much as you like. Hope it helps a little, what with how pent up you must be!”

Mildly annoyed, Oliver snapped back at that one. “Maybe I wouldn’t be so pent up if Mia and I weren’t so rudely interrupted…”

“Oh, you’re fine,” Zoe handwaved him and blew a raspberry. “Besides, I already apologized like a dozen times.”

“No, you haven’t?” Oliver laughed at how hilariously untrue that was. “You haven’t even apologized once!”

She raised a brow. “You sure about that, bro?”

“...Yes?”

“Well, whatever,” Zoe shrugged. “I totally meant to.”

“Here’s a wild idea; you could apologize right now?”

“Eh, in a minute. I’m almost at the end of this run, and I’m gonna have to pull out all the stops if I wanna take out the Golden Dealer!”

Seeing Zoe’s full attention return to her game, Oliver decided he needed a breather. He excused himself, headed for the bathroom, and waved at Mia along the way to let her know not to worry about him.

Now alone, Oliver sorted out his thoughts the same way he always did; by talking them out in front of a mirror.

“Okay,” he sighed, setting the pace. “Remember why you’re doing this, Oliver. Getting closer to Zoe will make Mia happy, and you need to do it anyway if you want to farm some LP off of her. Simple, right?”

Thinking objectively about the situation didn’t do much for his confidence. On the contrary, it made him feel slimy about the whole thing. Like he was trying to use Zoe as a means to an end.

It upset Oliver that he was having such thoughts, but he wrote them off as him trying to grapple with this challenge in terms he could understand.

The problem all came down to likability. Zoe ticked so many boxes on the list of things he didn’t like in a person that it almost didn’t seem worth it. It didn’t matter if Mia was right about Zoe being halfway decent once you got to know her; it was the getting to know her part that gave him so much trouble.

“This isn’t working out,” he said, concluding that talking this out wasn’t his best shot at hyping himself up for round two of trying to hang out with Zoe. What he needed was someone better suited for dealing with his mental gymnastics. Someone built from the ground up to serve as a dedicated hypeman.

Oliver whipped out his phone and quickly called Bradley, his psychically-created thoughtform who doubled as his best friend. That was also a whole thing.

”Oliver! My FRIEND!” Bradley’s upbeat voice answered, sounding even more distorted than it usually did because of the phone. “To what do I OWE the pleasure of this [Telephone Call]?”

“Hey, man. Just needed to run some shit by you and probably hear you say a bunch of incredibly obvious things I already know but won’t register until I hear them from someone who isn’t myself.”

“That is HOW this tends to GO, isn’t it?” Bradley laughed. “What seems TO be…” there was a brief pause, during which Oliver clearly heard the unmistakable squealing of rats. “Sorry, sorry! What SEEMS to be [The Problem]?”

Oliver closed his eyes, not even wanting to acknowledge it. “The problem’s that I suddenly have a fourth heroine.”

“Congratulations! Did you TAKE my [Patented Advice] and [Put the Moves] on [Rebecca Bergmann] after ALL?”

“No, I wish I was talking about Rebecca,” Oliver laughed the suggestion off, then felt awkward when he realized he’d actually halfway meant it. Stupid Freudian slips. “It’s Zoe. Mia’s roommate? She just kind of barged into us… doing stuff this morning, and boom, I got the notification and everything.”

“Still NOT seeing the [Big Deal]!”

“I sorta made a solemn oath to myself to become harempilled and start chasing the other heroines, and… look, let me just run you through everything real quick…” Oliver sighed, committing himself to explaining all the new developments since they’d left each other’s company after last night’s boxing match. He told Bradley about Mia’s comically convenient fetish, her injury, and his desire to heal it through his powers while potentially helping her live out some of her fantasies down the line.

“Healing her wrist is possible, right? I meant to ask you that before I got too carried away.”

“The SPECIFICS of how [Heroine Skills] function are currently [Unknown] to me, but YES, I am quite CERTAIN you would be able to [Do So]!” Bradley confirmed, lifting a weight off Oliver’s chest. “Frankly, given everything ELSE your powers MAKE possible, it would be downright SILLY if you couldn’t!”

“That’s what I was thinking, but having some soft confirmation is great. You can see why I'm in a rough patch right now, though. I'm sitting here with a heroine I feel almost no affinity toward, and I've got to get over it if I want to make any progress."

“Oliver, Oliver, OLIVER! This isn’t REALLY about [Heroines], [Progress], and [Love Points], is it?”

“Yes and no,” Oliver admitted, frowning at himself in the mirror. “Mia's super close to Zoe, and... okay, being totally honest? Most of my anxiety here is because I'm worried she'll be upset if I can't get along with Zoe. It seems important to her, and I don't want to fuck this up."

Bradley, the world's only rat-catching relationship guru who was also a thoughtform, was pleased to be of service. "First OF all, I'm [Delighted] to HEAR you've changed your TUNE regarding the [Pursuit] of [Heroines]! And for such a [Noble Cause], at THAT! I'll begin with the most obvious advice you NEED to hear. You've known [Fourth Heroine Zoe Myers] for what? Twenty-five [Minutes] thus FAR? Thirty?"

"The stuff that happened in those thirty minutes was so rough that I had to get out of there and collect my thoughts. For Christ's sake, this didn't even happen when I was hanging out with Stacy. I'm almost embarrassed at myself..."

"[Negative Thinking] and [Self-Defeatism] won't GET you anywhere! Instead, why don't you TELL me more about your [Feelings], my FRIEND? What specifically makes [Future Girlfriend Zoe Myers] so difficult FOR you to be around?"

Ignoring Bradley's presumptuous epithet, Oliver got his thoughts off his chest. "Everything comes down to me being an introvert and Zoe being as far away from one as you can get. She has no concept of personal space or regard for other people's privacy, and I get the feeling she thrives off of making people uncomfortable and enjoys getting a reaction out of them. I don't gel with any of that. Like, at all."

"Tricky, tricky! However! Don't try and tell me that in ALL your years of playing [Erotic Dating Sims] there hasn't BEEN a [Love Interest] who you initially despised only FOR them to [Steal Your Heart] alongside the coveted position of [Best Girl]! What of the brash tomboy athlete, [Tanitsugawa Rio], from [Dokidoki Monument]? The noblewoman with a heart of gold, [Schweiss von Eldeburg], from [Kingly Connections of the Heart]? Or even the troubled delinquent, [Arasaki Mitsuki], from [Endless Impregnations from Me to You: A Matter of Love]? Need I go ON?"

"God, it's so weird knowing you have all my memories from before your creation..." Oliver sighed, mentally filing away the fact that Bradley had intimate knowledge of each and every thing he'd ever jacked off to. "But yeah. It's not like I don't have a thing for girls who soften up once you get to know them. I do. In fiction. In real life, though, you actually have to put up with the rough edges until that happens."

"Counterpoint! It will feel [Endlessly Rewarding] knowing you put in the EFFORT to get to that point with someone in [Real Life] as opposed TO a [Visual Novel]!"

"She might not even have a soft side," Oliver muttered, dejected. "Not everyone does."

"[First Heroine Stacy Lynn] does," Bradley pointed out. "And [Third Heroine Tessa Robinson] seems to not be as BAD as you initially believed, either! Why are YOU so hesitant to accept THAT this [Trend] might continue?"

Oliver thought about it for a moment before realizing he didn't have an argument that wasn't rooted in a gut feeling. A lot of it came down to the way she treated Mia. He'd be a lot more tolerant of Zoe's quirks if she hadn't barged in, broke a controller, got up in their business, demanded breakfast, and then reminded Mia to clean up the controller that she herself broke.

Mia admitted to being a doormat when it came to Zoe, but she also stressed there was a lot more to their relationship than that. The path forward was obvious.

"Okay, okay. You got me. I need to actually try and get to know Zoe better before I start acting like we're totally incompatible."

"Indeed you DO! As [Predicted], we've discussed THE topic long enough for you to reach what you ALREADY knew to be the [Answer]!"

"I hate how fucking consistent I am..." Oliver laughed at his nature and slumped his shoulders in defeat. "I'm just not sure how I'm gonna pull this off given how much I suck at talking to new people, especially not when she keeps throwing me off my game by teasing me. Any ideas on how I should deal with that?"

"One," Bradley paused, drawing out Oliver's anticipation. "You're not the ONLY person in that [Apartment] who happens TO be a [Low-Energy Introvert], you know! How does [Mia Rosas] deal WITH their [Differing Personalities]?"

"Mostly by ignoring Zoe and flipping the script by making a joke at her expense, I think? I actually kind of did that once already, and it led to a small affection boost, but..." Oliver stopped and considered how stupid he was for worrying about acting overly familiar toward Zoe when 'overly familiar' was seemingly the default way she engaged with everyone around her.

"Oliver? Did the [Part] where YOU figure it out ON your own happen again?"

Another sigh, then another embarrassed laugh. "Yeah. I have to suck it up and get out of my comfort zone, as usual. I'm not sure why I expected anything less, but maybe the lesson will stick this time?"

Bradley joined in on the laugh, sounding equally robotic and sympathetic somehow. "On the OFF chance it doesn't, I'm always one [Phone Call] away!"

Oliver smiled warmly. Talking things out with Bradley was better than chatting in front of the mirror any day of the week, even if it essentially served the same purpose and Oliver ultimately reached the same conclusion he would've on his own. What mattered was that he had someone who cared enough to put up with his dumb, oblivious self long enough to get there right along with him. That counted for a lot.

Thanking Bradley from the bottom of his heart, Oliver promised to update him later on at some point and ended the call once he'd wished his wingman the best on his misadventures. After that, he sucked in a deep breath, looked at his reflection dead-on, and resolved to suck it up one last time.

It wouldn’t be so bad. Mia was almost done with breakfast, so she’d be there to alleviate most of the awkward tension and get Zoe off his back if he needed the help. With that in mind, Oliver-

“Knock, knock. Doing okay in there, mi amor? Heard you mumbling to yourself.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Oliver opened the door and faced Mia with a smile. She’d changed into a new shirt and a pair of athletic shorts after their short session of morning fun, along with a red apron she was currently untying. The brand-new collar he’d bought for her shone brightly on her neck. “Bradley called me about a thing, no big deal.”

“A thing, mn? Sounds dire. Was almost worried Zoe overwhelmed you bad enough that you needed a break from her company. Glad to hear that’s not the case.”

Oliver stared at his stone-faced girlfriend, adopting her expression for himself. “…Really can’t pull one over on you, can I?”

“Not for lack of trying,” Mia finally got the apron off and smiled softly as she leaned in for a quick kiss. “Sorry. Should’ve figured this wouldn’t go as well as I hoped. Zoe… well, Zoe is a lot.”

“I noticed. I’m not giving up, though.”

“No?” Mia frowned. “Not saying I’m not glad to hear that, but… just don’t want you pushing yourself, okay? Happen to be a big girl, Ollie. Would be nice if you did, but it’s not the end of my world if you two don’t vibe.”

“Mia,” he placed a firm hand on her shoulder, staring right into her bright blue eyes. “The only reason we’re together is because I pushed myself. Telling me not to is only gonna make me do it harder.”

Oliver’s projected confidence remained as reliable a weapon as ever, dealing a critical hit to his girlfriend. Metaphorically speaking.

[Mia has gained +1 Affection!]

Her frown melted away, usurped by a gentle smile and a bright red blush. “Really shouldn’t be taking that tone with me, mi amor. Not when I’ve got an errand to run.”

“Errand? What errand?”

“Had a lot on my mind. Forgot to check if we had syrup or not before I started cooking,” Mia looked away in mild embarrassment. “We don’t. Gonna go swoop by this local grocery store. No big deal, it’s only a few minutes away. Got everything in the stove to keep it hot while you two are waiting for me.”

“You don’t want me to drive you there?”

“You could,” she nodded vacantly, then deigned to look back at him with a glimmer of hope shining behind her glasses. “Could also stay here and try to chat Zoe up some more… supposing you really do feel like pushing yourself.”

“Sounds like a challenge,”

“It wasn’t.”

“It could be,”

“It could,” Mia lazily conceded.

“Get going,” Oliver patted her on the back and gave his lover a reassuring grin. “Mark my words; Zoe and I’ll be thick as thieves by the time you're back.”

“Thick as thieves?” She scoffed at his mildly amusing choice of words. “Who even says that nowadays, mi amor?”

“The guy who got you the collar everyone’s gonna stare at you for wearing, that’s who,” Oliver said, watching with barely restrained sadistic glee as her expression morphed instantly to one of humiliation, timidity, and frustrated pleasure. “Now go on. Get. I’ve got thieves to thicken.”

Mia fumbled with her kinky nameplate while turning away. “God,” she sighed. “You are immeasurably lucky I found that hotter than I did lame.”

[Mia has gained +5 Affection!]

“Don’t I know it.”

***

Stat Changes

Mia Rosas | Status: Girlfriend | 46/100 | ❤❤♡♡♡

Zoe Myers | Status: Mia's Annoying BFF | 1/100 | ♡♡♡♡♡