"Uhhh, It's Kind of a Lot" Lyrics (Patreon)

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I’m afraid of leaving my house

I’m afraid of dying of cancer

I’m afraid of black sedans, white vans, and computers

I’m afraid of losing my mind

I’m afraid of windows and airplanes

I’m afraid of my past, my fans, and my future

But I never been afraid of someone breaking my heart, not like I’m bout to fall and cut my throat with the shards,

And I’m afraid of damn near everything

All my life’s a panic trip, a rocket ship to planet schizoid

Hold me like a tourniquet and I you like an iron maiden

I’ve grown used to fear, but no, not to you yet my dear oh

I love you so much it scares me half to death. I’m not used to this, how did this happen?

I love you so much it scares me half to death. The other half I guess I’m giving to you.

Oh, baby

I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind

I’m afraid there’s somebody better

I’m afraid of four-letter words like love, for, and ever

Or whatever.

I’m afraid you’ll notice my flaws

I’m afraid you already have. Obviously.

I’m afraid I’ll come on too strong, hold you too tight and scare you too

But I never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve

At least to prove I’m weak and if you cut me I bleed.

Could you be the light my X-rays need?

All my life’s a Duchovny role, oh, Gillian you won’t believe this

Spit me out you don’t know where I’ve been, hold me at claw’s length baby

I’m not used to fear of losing something I hold dear

I love you so much it scares me half to death. I’m not used to this, how did this happen?

I love you so much it scares me half to death. The other half I guess I’m giving to you.

Oh, baby

I’ll twist my words, a clever turn of phrase

Sorry darling, please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize

Coddling my narcissism, M.A.D. come ride my A-bomb

While I beg you to say I’m okay

So here’s one last lyric to sum up these thoughts I struggled to come up with

To make me seem deep and smart and then I promise I’ll shut up.

Let me think hold on I got this

Anything but I’m in love with you