Harry Potter's Chaotic Twin (Ch 4) (Patreon)

The next morning is nearly the same, except for one thing. Dudley is absent from the table. Harry and I exchange a quick glance, a battle of wills to determine who would ask the question. I win of course, but since I'm the bestest, wisest, most amazing sister ever, I decide that I’ll be the one to ask anyway.

"So what happened to Hi- *Cough* Dudley?" That was close, I almost said his nickname out loud! And no, his nickname does not relate to a former artist with petty grievances. It's Hippo!

Vernon gives me a suspicious glare, but oddly enough doesn't comment on my minor slip. He merely lets out a snort. "He isn't feeling well. His friends convinced him to try some new kind of candy apparently, and it gave him a stomach ache. As such, you'll be making everyone a light breakfast of eggs and bacon."

I look over to where Petunia is pulling out a carton of eggs and an unopened pack of bacon. She glances over, "Make sure you use the entire package, I absolutely despise having opened packaging in the refrigerator."

I look at her. I look at the two pound package of bacon she placed next to the stove. I look at the chair Vernon is trying to teach pain to. How are these people not dead yet? Petunia I can at least understand since she eats a regular amount. But Vernon? Soon enough Dudley as well? Both of them should have had at least three heart attacks between them by now!

I let out a silent sigh and shrug my shoulders. Guess it's true what they say, villains live forever.

𝌡𝌡𝌡

After another breakfast of silence between the Potters and the Dursleys (minus one) Harry and I receive our verdict for today. "Just go play in the backyard or something today. A carpenter is going to come fix the hole in the wall, and Petunia and I are far too busy to bother with those manual laborers."

I share a glance with Harry and we both blink in surprise. Play? Outside? By ourselves!? Such an event has never happened before! Usually we'd be stuck cleaning, locked in our closet, or be sent out with Dudley so that he can "make sure we don't get into any trouble". And trusting us to interact with someone whom they have absolutely no knowledge of? Even weirder!

Anyway, I'm not gonna let this chance slip by. I grab Harry by the hand and rush us out of the kitchen. Before we're completely out the door, I faintly hear Vernon and Petunia speak with each other.

"Are we sure this is a good idea...neighbors see them...something odd."

"You saw what happened yesterday...can't take the risk...be more careful for now."

Huh. I wonder what that was about? Soon enough though, I put it out of my head and look at Harry. "So, what do you want to do? We can grab some sticks and fight for the position of number one twin. Or we can play tag on one leg. Or we can try and dig a secret escape tunnel to the coast, where we sneak onto a boat to Belgium and make our living as street performers." Harry gives me a blank look. I grin back. "I call dibs on being a mime!"

He just gives me a slow blink in response, one eye at a time before looking around the backyard. He notes the lack of sticks, the only thing around being a small flowerbed abutted to the back of the house, and a swing tucked out of the way in the corner area. "...Or we can play on the swing?"

I look at the swing. I look at Harry. I look back at the swing. "Good idea! We can create a slingshot to shoot ourselves to the train station, and then we can begin a new life of adventure!"

*Author: Heh, you have no idea.*

"Did you hear something Harry?" I look around, trying to see if something had made the quiet sound I heard.

*Author: Frantically plugs slight hole in the fourth wall with his hamburger.*

I shrug, "Oh well. Must have been my imagination. Anyway, let's play!" I rush over to the swing and energetically wave Harry over.

He sighs, "Maybe we should play tag on one leg instead..." he mutters.

𝌡𝌡𝌡

The day passes quickly like that, with us mainly playing on the swing and running around. At about five, only a few hours before dinner, the carpenter comes to take a look at the hole that's still covered in old newspapers. He shouts over the gate at us. "Hey kids, mind letting me in? I'm here to take a look at some hole in your kitchen."

"Sure thing, random person I've never seen before. The gate's unlocked, so go ahead and come in, the hole's over here." He gives me a strange look as he enters the backyard. I've been getting those from Harry a lot today. I wonder why that is?

The carpenter walks over to the newspapers and slowly peels them from the wall. "What is this!?" he exclaims. Harry and I look over from where we were practicing handstands. I succeeded of course, and am currently upside down. From my position, I can see that the hole the newspapers were covering…is nowhere to be seen.

How Peculiar.