Mental Chapter 4 (Patreon)

“Ermm…” Natalie muttered restlessly.

“Head feel hurty. Itz… Its dark. Hard to make eyes go up. I need, I need help with them. Maybe if I try just one eye… Thas not bad. Ughh, I feel like I just drank fiv- fffiivv- um, a lot of bottles of, whats that stuff called again? Mommy drinks it sometimes. I.. I don’t rememba’. Wait, did I just call Meredith… Mommy? That’s not her name, Meredith. It’s Mommy. Wait. Stop that. I keep thinking silly things. Everything is so… loose now. My head feel funny. Someone put a bunch of cotton balls in it. Did Mommy do that? Did I do that? Who put all of these cotton balls in my head?” Natalie thought, she perched herself up onto her elbows. She used her hands to push herself up and sit upright on the floor. She looked down at the wet mess pooled around her overused pull-up. Natalie grimaced in embarrassment.

“Woah… I, I very wet. This pull-up is soaked.” She thought, she prodded at the swollen padding. It squished completely under the force. There was no more structural integrity to it. It was completely saturated to a pliable mush. “Did me really go pee pee that much? When did it happen? Is so… fuzzy to rememba’ when I went to the potty. Do I go to the potty? I don’t think Mommy said I was ready for that yet. But me used to use the potty. I use the potty all the time when I’m a big kid. But…” Natalie trailed off, a sinking feeling took over as the weight of her reality took hold. It brought a brief moment of lucidity with it.

“I’m not talking right. I’m peeing myself, and I don’t remember when or how it happened. I’m fricken covered in my piss. The carpet is just as wet as my pull-up. Why the heck am I even in one of these?? What is happening to me!? I’m not part of the target demographic. I don’t do this. Why am I not at work right now?? I... I think I'm losing it. The diapers are messing with my head. I need to stop. I need to call… someone. I don’t know who… or exactly how to use a phone, but I need to do something. I have to get out of here. I- I need to call 911.” Natalie thought, she held onto her adult thoughts with dear life. She shifted her weight up onto her knees. She pushed with her legs up off the ground and stood up. Her pull-up swayed from the momentum shift. It caused Natalie to look down again.

“Ohh… it’s practically to my kneecaps. How did I even wet this much? I don’t remember peeing when I was watching… Oh my god. I just blacked out watching a children’s show. Pissed during it, then I pissed myself in my sleep, and soaked through to the floor… This is insane. I need help. I don’t need 911, I need to call the lab. They’ll know what to do. The chemi… chemis…. The smart people there will know what to do.” Natalie thought, she walked away from the dark stain on the floor and started looking for her phone around the room. She didn’t find it there but found it in the adjacent room on the kitchen table. She snatched it and brought the screen toward her face.

When she flicked the screen open. She heard the faint sound of keys rustling into the front door.

“Meredith. She can’t see me like this.” Natalie thought. Without thinking about it, she dropped her phone onto the nearest surface. Which happened to be the sink. It was half full with soapy dishwater. The phone dropped in with a little splash. Natalie, having little object permanence now, didn’t even realize it. Her mind was too busy focusing on getting her pull-up off.

“Hrmff… come on,” She whined, “how do you DO THIS!!” She yelled, feeling anger build in her mind. She couldn’t stop it. Her emotions easily took over. “I know this. Yous supposed to do this… then um… You push right… here? No. That’s not it. UGH! My fingers aren’t doing what I’m telling them to do… This is STUPID! Why do they make these so hard to get off!!?? I am potty training, er. If you wear these then you’re potty training. They… Should…. Come off…… Easy…. OH COME ON!!” Natalie yelled, letting her frustration take over. She stomped a foot onto the floor, then let out a frustrated sigh.

“Hello!? Nat? Where are you, Baby?” Meredith’s voice sang out from the front door. Terror gripped Natalie. She settled on her last resort. She pulled her numb fingers into two open hands. She quickly set them on the waistband of her pull-up. With all her might, she clamped down onto the stretched lining. In one swift motion, she pulled the band apart. The garment ripped along the edge, finally freeing her from the pee-soaked prison. The swollen pull-up flopped open.

“Ew…” Natalie said, she held her underwear up. The inside was swollen to capacity and a deep shade of yellow. Natalie’s heroics were in vain. Meredith walked in just as Natalie turned to throw it away.

“Nat? What are you doing with that? Are you throwing it away like a good girl?” Meredith asked, her stern tone caused Natalie to stop in her tracks, then turn to face her.

“Uh… Yes… Mommy.” Natalie said. “No, wait. She’s not… Mommy… She’s…. ugh.. NO stop… stop doing that. Don’t get baby again. Don’… Don… Baby bad bad. I big girl… Nooo….” Natalie thought, she felt her adult self starting to slip away like sand through her fingers. Her body image felt like it was shrinking. She crossed her legs, hid her hands and pull-up behind her back, then looked away bashfully.

“Natalie? What are you doing? Throw your pull-up away. Then I can get you into one of your special diapers!” Meredith said, wearing rubber gloves, she held up one of the diapers from the lab.

“Oh. My. God. That’s… a..” Natalie thought, she dropped the pull-up in her hand. It fell in a wet heap onto the floor behind her. Her gaze transfixed onto the folded diaper in Meredith's hands. She took a few zombie steps toward the diaper but stopped halfway.

“Come on. I don’t want you making little puddles all over the house. You know you love wearing these. What’s one more trip to baby land? You won’t have to worry about anything anymore. Mommy will be right here to take care of you.” Meredith said, she extended the diaper closer toward Natalie. She was about six feet away from it. The last of Natalie gave one more mental push.

“I.. I not baby. I big girl. I needa be big. I hafta stay big. I getting too little. I thinking not right. I shoulda told the smart people me getting too baby. I still can… How can I stop Mommy? She gonna make me wear it. What if I never grow up to be a big kid again? The diapers are so nice. They make me feel so funny. I start thinking about drinking Mommy’s milk… which is always so yummy. She’s so warm. I can maybe wear it for a little…. Er no! I big! I big girl! Mommy being bad!” Natalie thought with the remaining adult neurons she had left. “I big girl.” Natalie thought, using her lucid momentum. She took one last step toward Meredith. She stretched her hands out to the diaper. Her shaky fingers gripped each side of the diaper and unfolded it. She felt the familiar warm buzz from the chemicals in her fingertips. She knew it wouldn't be long before it reached her brain.

“Great job, Nat. Why don’t you be a good girl and hold onto that while we- OOF!” Meredith yelled out at the end. Suddenly, Natalie shoved the inside of the diaper directly into Meredith’s face. Meredith jerked her head to the side to get away from it, but Natalie adjusted and tried to hold it in place for as long as she could. Meredith threw her hands up to the diaper. She grabbed at it and began wrestling with Natalie for control. Meredith tried her best not to breathe in, but in the moment, she felt chemical dust puff off the diaper and into her nose.

Natalie knew she wouldn’t win the battle for long. Meredith was taller and stronger than her. Natalie threw the strongest shove she could into the diaper. It knocked Meredith off her balance for a moment, she regained it by taking staggered steps back. Natalie knew it was the only window of opportunity she was going to get. Lightning quick, she turned around and booked it straight out of the kitchen.

“Ugh you dumb baby! You shouldn’t have done that!” Meredith yelled, she started after Natalie. As Natalie ran, zero part of her brain could run in fear and hold her bladder at the same time. Dribbles of pee jetted out of Natalie. They splattered on her thighs then jumped down with each crash of her foot. She left a broken trail of pee stains behind her.

“GO. RUN!! I NO BABY. Not out the front door. She too close!! I needa run up da stairs. QUICK! If I fast, I can close door and go out window!! Ahhh!! Upstairs. She still right dere! I hafta… I…. My room? NOW! Come on, grab the door, and- NO!” Natalie thought, she turned into her room and behind the door. She tried throwing her weight into it, so it’d close as quickly as possible. Just before the door clicked shut, Meredith slammed her own body into the door. The sudden jerk forced the door open almost enough for Meredith to slip in, but not quite. Natalie knew she had mere seconds.

“You’re being the worstest baby, Natalie! I am going to give you so many spankies before you into this diapee!” Meredith screamed.

“I can’t lose. I have to PUUUSH! She’s…. ugh…too… strong.” Natalie thought, the door was slowly widening. Natalie only had an inch or two left before Meredith could spin around the door. Natalie turned her head back. “Window. Jump out da window.” Natalie thought, it was a split-second decision. She let all her weight off the door. With Meredith pushing her entire body onto the door, it blew open. It caught Meredith by surprise, forcing her off balance and onto her knees.

“GO!!!” Natalie thought. She made the distance to her window. Her hands desperately grabbed at the lip. She pulled up.

…

“Locked.” Natalie whispered, knowing her fate was sealed. All of her adrenaline and confidence deflated. The same sinking terror from before came back even stronger.

“ENOUGH!” Meredith yelled, she grabbed Natalie’s shoulder, and forcibly spun her around. Natalie’s body language shrank. She crossed her legs and arms inward. Her head looked straight down toward the floor. In defeat, a trickle of pee spilled out between her thighs. It was the only warmth she could feel in the moment. Meredith took the unfolded diaper in her hand, then forcibly shoved it up between Natalie’s thighs. Her accident started absorbing into the padding.

“There. Now you’ll stop pretending to be a big kid.” Meredith said.

“Nooo…. Stay big. Don’t be baby. You can do this. Its okay. I’ma be big. No baby… I thought I could make it… I thought I could be big… I wanted to be big again. I want to be an adult. Me no want to be baby. I wanna be a smart big kid that can… That… What do um… Was a big kid do again? They big kids. They don’t hafta wear diapies. Am I a big kid? Wha’ was I talkin about? I thought I could make it? But.. me didn’t. I go potty in my diapie. I jus… Heheh… I go potty. Me going big potties in my diapieee. Hehehe, iz so squishy! Spishy spishy! I don’ know potty. I wanna diapie. Pee pee diapeee ahehe!” Natalie thought.

“Momma, I bo bee pee!” Natalie said through loose lips. She articulated her ‘b’ too hard. It forced a sprinkle of drool to spray out of her mouth. Some of it lingered on her chin and lips. Her jaw slacked and allowing her lips to gape open as her flow strengthened into a torrid of to pee. Drool started pooling around the back of her mouth. Meredith smiled and started to gently pet Natalie’s head.

“Yes, there you go. You’re done being a big girl. You’re going back into these diapees full-time now. You’re gonna be my dumb-dumb. Isn’t dat right?” Meredith said. Natalie slowly bobbed her head up and down. “Here, let’s finish taping you up. That way you can make all the messes you want.” She said. She guided Natalie from the window to her bed a few feet away. She gently pushed the girl down onto the bed.

“You think you so smart. Trying to get away from Mommy. But you not smawt wike me. Iw know aw wot abowt bweing a bwig kiwd.” Meredith said. With her free hand, she grabbed the front of Natalie’s pee-stained diaper. She pulled it up with one hand. She paused, trying to reason out how to tape on this diaper.

“Hehehe.” Natalie giggled, she pointed up at Meredith.

“Whawt?” Meredith asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Moma Bawby!” Natalie said, she devolved into a fit of drool splattering giggles. Meredith cocked her head and shot a confused look down at Natalie.

“Huh?” She wondered. Her gaze looked down as low as it could. Her thumb was planted directly in her mouth. She didn’t even realize she’d been sucking on it. Immediately, Meredith popped it out.

“What the heck? Why did I do that? It’s not like I’m a little kid. It felt really good, and it… was relaxing…. but. No. Big kids don’t do that. I’m the Mommy. I’m not supposed to do baby things like that. That’s what Natalie does. She is da baby. And me Mommy. I change her diapies an-and make them no stinky no mo.’ Wait. Is… diapie making me…” Meredith thought, she trailed off, choosing not to finish that train of thought. She decided to remind Natalie of who was in charge instead.

“I’m the big kid. And you are da baby! Down’t laugh at Mommy. I give you spankies!” Meredith said seriously. Natalie didn’t seem phased. Her eyes wandered around the room while she continued to shove more of her fist into her mouth.

“I dun dun… bub nuwb…. Bowb….bub….” She babbled both through her mind, and out her mouth. The chemicals from the diaper leached into the core of Natalie’s brain. They systematically dissolved the tissue that dealt with cognitive thinking and gross motor skills. She’d played too far with the substance. Natalie lost the ability to think. The only thing her brain did was light up with pleasure at the feeling of a warm mess settling into her diaper. She couldn’t physically control it anymore. Her brain didn’t receive any signals from any part of her body, let alone her bladder and bowels. She atrophied into mush. Physically, and mentally. Natalie permanently regressed herself back to absolute zero.

Meredith smiled down at her newborn.

“Now that you good baby, me gonna get you toys I gots you at the store!! Come on, down on tha floor.” Meredith said, she heaved Natalie up off the bed, then guided her down to the floor. On her back, Natalie aimlessly kicked and wiggled her arms. She continued to spill nonsense and drool from her mouth. Meredith walked out of the room and into the hallway. She skipped happily down the hall, humming Old McDonald on the way. She grabbed the bag of baby toys she’d left at the front door.

“She’s gonna LOVE these. I picked them out myself!” Meredith thought, feeling an odd sense of pride for doing something so big as buying something at the store. She latched onto the feeling. It was proof she wasn’t the baby Natalie thought she was. Her legs skipped back up into Natalie’s nursery.

“Here ya go, baby. Playtime!!” Meredith said cheerfully. Instead of handing the toys to Natalie, she dumped them onto the floor. They each bounced then scattered onto the ground. Meredith beamed happily knowing she was doing an excellent job as Mommy.

“Iz da best Mommy ever.” Meredith thought. She sat down on Natalie’s bed. She looked down and watched the girl mindlessly squirm around. Natalie didn’t pick up any of the baby toys. She didn’t understand what they were in the first place. Meredith didn’t help play either. Her eyes were locked on Natalie’s now wet and messy diaper.

“Mhm… I’m a really…… good……” She thought, getting lost in her words. Her mind went quiet. She sat there for five minutes, just staring.

Suddenly, she stood up and walked out of the room.