Amnesia Parts 1, 2, & 3 (Patreon)

“What am I doing?” Lacy asked herself. Her eyes blinked into the computer screen. There wasn’t a spiral spinning anymore, but the repetitive motion was causing her vision to blur and swirl.

“T-this needs to stop. I… I don’t remember how many times I’ve watched this. It’s… so hard to remember things now.” Lacy said, she brought her hands up to her head. It felt heavy. Her brain felt like a single block of lead. Too heavy for her neck to hold up, and too dense and useless at the same time. Her thoughts felt fragmented. Each one that tried traveling through her neurons inevitably became disjointed. All the while, new random thoughts would form, and derail the old one. The cycle repeated endlessly in her mind without control.

“I need to try to remember something, hypnosis only works if you want it to work. I think? I’m not completely sure about that. S-something simple. Something easy. What have I known my whole life.” Lacy said, she looked down at her waist. For a split second her mind flashed an image of adult underwear. Her eyes didn’t see that though. Quickly her vision didn’t make sense.

“Have I worn underwear before? I don’t know, I think so? But then why am I wearing a diaper?” Lacy asked. She moved her legs from side to side in hopes of jogging her memory. Nothing. She couldn’t recall a single memory of wearing underwear before. She felt like there were memories of a time before diapers, but they felt hollow. There was no substance within them. It felt wrong. She had one on now, why wouldn’t she have one on before? Lacy looked back up at the screen. Her eyes scanned the first file name it saw.

“Adult Amnesia?” She read. “What does that mean? Adult? What is that word. Have I read that before? It seems new. Maybe I should look it up.” She thought, her finger pushed randomly on the keyboard. She tried telling her fingers to do something, but she didn’t know what to do. Aimlessly, she continued pressing random buttons. Nothing happened. She was typing randomly into the home page.

“Oh god, you really fucked yourself up this time, L-... Um… What’s my name?” Lacy wondered. Or was that really who she was? She thought her name was Lacy, but the more she thought about it, the more that didn’t seem right. Nothing felt right. She was utterly lost and she was only sitting down in her computer chair.

“I need to start somewhere. I have to write something down.” Lacy thought. She grabbed a pen from the holder. She started scribbling on a sticky note. Her penmanship was incredibly poor. It was barely legible.

‘I wear diapers. But I think I am potty trained. I baby? Lacy?’’ Was all she could get out before her fingers felt too cramped to continue. She dropped the pen onto the table.

“Potty.” She thought. Something was happening in her body. She couldn’t tell what it was, but something was happening. Her legs moved instinctively, but she didn’t get far. She merely slumped out of her chair, and onto the floor. The sudden crash accelerated the movements in her body.

“Ah!” Lacy yelled, as her mouth opened into an ‘O’. Her diaper flashed warm, then began to spread down into the seat of her diaper. She tried thinking of how to stop it, but she didn’t know what was happening in the first place. She randomly flexed muscles all around her body, but that didn’t stop it. She stared helplessly as her diaper warmed

***

“Heheh…” Haley giggled to herself. Or was that her name? Was it something else before? She wasn’t entirely sure. Regardless, she felt much better now than before. Her eyesight swirled as images of teddy bears and diapers drifted by. They morphed into the background of real life. She couldn’t tell what was a hallucination, and what was real.

Her mind felt lighter now. She wasn’t focused on remembering anymore. She didn’t have very many memories to recall to begin with. Like sitting up straight in her chair, that was a difficult one to get a grasp on. Her spine slumped as she collapsed onto the floor.

“Haha, I… I no be up wike… wike… duh…. Biwg giwrl….” Haley gurgled, but she forgot what she was trying to say roughly halfway through the sentence. After nearly two seconds of speaking, it was already far too late for her to recall what she’d even said in the first place. She let her vision go blurry. Her mind started coasting in a confusing dream-like state. Something was happening again, but she didn’t know what. This time there was no attempt at stopping it. Haley had never experienced this before. Push. That was the only coherent thought that wandered through her little head.

“Uh-no… Uh… Uh nun….” Haley muttered, she looked down at her diaper.

“Hngg… Urmph….” Haley sputtered. It felt easier to let the process play out that way. All at once, a sensation of fullness pinged in her body. The feeling apexed, then moved through her. That feeling turned into warm, blissful, mush into the back of her diaper. Haley had never experienced this level of pleasure before. It was god-like. She didn’t know how, but she tried her best to push harder. Her body rewarded her with more mush. She craved it. Haley wanted as much mush as she could possibly get, so she went harder.

Working that hard has it’s draw-backs. As Haley pushed, she felt herself reaching a limit. Even her feeble mind told her to watch it. She didn’t care, she kept going. This time, the front of her diaper started to do something. It warmed, a cascade of pee emptied out of her bladder.

Snap.

“Bwuh…?” Haley uttered, her mind broke. It was shattered glass. Fragments of thoughts randomly thrown together. Her pupils drifted cross-eyed. Haley fell onto her back. Her head rested next to a piece of paper.

Something in the back of her mind told her to focus on it. It seemed import for her to do that. Her eyes were able to try for a brief second, but that was it. She was only able to draw on a couple letters off the page, before she sunk back into confusion. What was she trying to do again? She didn’t know, but it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did. She just liked feeling warm and mushy

***

“Mwumwum…” Brenda gurgled to herself. Her lips felt loose. Feelings of warm wet drool spilled out the front of her lip. The collar of her shirt was completely drenched in it. She didn’t know what that was though, let alone how to stop it. None of her body made sense anymore. She didn’t know what her body was. Every movement was virgin to her. Her arms flailed around aimlessly. This was the first time she’d ever used them before.

Brenda slid like pudding out of the chair. Her mind was eradicated. Every memory Brenda had ever formed was wiped. Everything she experienced now was for the first time in her entire life. The person she was before the files were gone. She was reborn. Brenda was a baby. “Ugnunun.” She babbled to herself. Her hands and arms reached up toward the ceiling. They didn’t have any purpose. It was all exploratory. She was getting the feel of her body for the very first time.

The thoughts that ran through her mind weren’t her own. They were entirely based off the experiences she sensed. They didn’t have words attached to them, she didn’t understand them yet. Her IQ was wiped to absolute zero. Disjointed thoughts that dissipated the moment they came to the forefront of her mind.

Brenda’s eyes saw a piece of paper on the ground. Her hand dropped onto it. Her hand attempted to grab onto it. Her jelly-like fingers took nearly 10-minutes to grab a hold of it. When they finally did, the muscles in her hands tightened. She brought the piece of paper up to her face.

Her eyes scanned the paper for a moment. They meandered around it. There wasn’t meaning behind it. Brenda didn’t know why her hand grabbed it in the first place. Her hand shoved the piece of paper in her mouth. Her drool covered lips chewed down on the paper. She uttered incoherent sounds while her teeth ripped the paper to shreds.

Everything felt warm. It was nice. It made Brenda’s mind feel really good. She connected the feeling to elements of deep pleasure in her mind. She liked feeling this way. Mushy. Warm. Happy. In her reborn state, her brain re-wired to seek this feeling for the rest of her life. Her mind was addicted to filling diapers.

That’s how Brenda would spend her second life. Someone would eventually find her. They’d discover she was no longer capable of reversing the damage. She permanently reset the neurons in her brain. Even then, she’d never get above a pre-school level. Her mind didn’t want to. It knew what it wanted now. Blank thoughts, and full diapers.

Unless of course when it inevitably forgot that too and started all over again...