Mental Chapter 3 (Patreon)

“Ughhh, why is that light so harsh? Someone needs to turn off that window… Normally it’s just getting bright out when I get ready for work….. Wait… Normally…. OH SHIT!” Natalie thought, she threw the covers off, her eyes darted to her alarm clock. “I OVER SLEPT!! Why didn’t my alarm go off? Christ, it’s already 10:30! I need to get ready. I’m so stupid. I haven’t done that since college. Why did I get drunk on a work night? That’s so irresponsible. So childish. So dumb and silly. I need to act like a grown up and get ready for my job.” She thought, walking into the bathroom attached to her bedroom.

“Brush. That’s the first thing. Grab the toothbrush, put the paste on it… Quickly now. Hrm… I need to make a mental note to get better toothpaste. This one is too minty; it’s stinging my tongue. I need to get a flavored one. What flavor do I want? Certainty not mint, or a gentler version of it. I don’t think I’d want a fruity one…. Ooo! What about bubble gum!? Yeah! I’ll get a flavor like that. That one is way gooder than mint. I should get a new brush too. This one is okay, it cleans my teeth, but it doesn’t even sing. It takes soooo long to brush, I need something to entertain me. Actually… Yeah I’m done. I didn’t get them all but this is like watching paint dry. Okay what else do I need to do before… WORK! Oh that’s right! That’s what I was getting ready for! Why did I space out and start thinking about my toothbrush?? It’s fine. Need to get a new one. But it’s fine!” Natalie thought, she spit, washed the bowl, then absently dropped her toothbrush in the sink. Wearing only a bra and a pull-up, Natalie walked down the hall and into her kitchen.

“Well good morning, Sleepy Head!” Maria said, stirring a pan of scrambled eggs.

“Mom- aria. No. Not my Mommy. My friend, Maria. My friend who makes me breakfast sometimes. This is good. I can get ready for work faster if she feeds me. Not, like… She puts the spoon in my mouth. Well actually, that might save even more time. I should ask her if she could do that.” Natalie thought.

“Hey, Maria. I’m running super late for work. Is it okay if you feed me? That might save a lot of time.” Natalie said. Maria turned and looked at her friend.

“Sweetie, you don’t have to go to work today.” Maria said matter-of-factly.

“I don’t?” Natalie said, “That would be sooo sweet.” She thought.

“No. I called out for you! You seemed stressed out at the bar last night. I called them and said you were feeling super sick this morning. They didn’t mind at all. That’s why I let you sleep in.” Maria said, taking a step toward Natalie. “How did you do? Did you stay dry all night?” She said, her hand extended below Natalie’s crotch. She squeezed the padding of her pull-up.

“Nope, my pull-up is all dry!” Natalie said cheerfully. “Wait.” She thought suddenly, “Why am I proud of that? And why am I wearing a pull-up in the first place? Did Maria put me in it? She must have, I don’t remember doing it. I guess it’s fine, but I’m not supposed to wear one. Right? I’m too big to be wearing one to bed… but how would I stay dry just in case? Well… I’d hold it, but then again, how am I supposed to hold it when I’m asleep? What if I have an accident? I wouldn’t be able to stop it. I’d be sleeping, and I’d end up peeing all over my sheets. So, I need to have a pull-up on at night…. Right? Yeah… I think that’s right.” Natalie thought.

“Still dry. Great job!” Maria exclaimed.

“Mmmm, Maria thought I did a good job. That makes me happy!” Natalie thought, unable to stop a bubble of excitement from bursting in her chest.

“We don’t want to waste the pull-up, so I’ll just keep you in it for now. If you can stay dry this morning, we can think about putting you in big girl underwear for the afternoon. Otherwise, you’ll be back in diapers until tomorrow.” Maria said.

“Diapers.” Natalie thought. “She had to say it. Diapers. Would she actually put me back in diapers? I wouldn’t have to worry about holding it. My diaper would take care of it. That’s what my diapers are for. Taking care of me when I need to pee. When I just go pee pee. Sometimes, if I’m not paying attention, I go pee pee. I… What am I thinking? I can hold it like a big girl. I’m big. I am in a pull-up after all.” Natalie thought, feeling herself clench down on an impending accident.

“Do you want to eat these eggs at the table, or on the floor in front of the TV? If you eat at the table, I can feed you like you want, but if you’re on the floor you’re on your own.” She said.

“Hmmm… This is a tough one. It’s fun when Maria feeds me. I don’t have to do anything. She shovels the food in and I just have to crunch. But if I eat on the floor I get to watch TV! I can catch up on Better Call Saul, ehhh… That seems boring honestly. So much talking. It’s hard to follow along with what’s going. I should watch something way funner like Spongebob.” Natalie thought, looking back to Maria, knowing her answer.

“Floor pease!” Natalie said, subconsciously dropping the ‘l’.

“Alright then, go sit yourself down and I’ll bring it to you.” Maria said happily, she took the pan off the burner. She tilted the pan to the side and started pouring the eggs out into a plate.

“Yayyyy! Cartoon day! This is gonna be so much fun! I can watch whateeeever I want. Maybe I can ask Mommy if she can find some fun movies for me. I’m not always the best at using the remote. So many buttons to press. The symbols on it never really made sense to me either.” Natalie thought. She plopped her padded butt down onto the carpet. Her concerns from minutes ago dissolved the moment her eyes hit the screen.

“Here you go, little one! I put extra cheese in them for you. I know how much you love your gooey cheese.” Maria said, placing the plate of eggs down in front of Natalie, along with a sippy cup of juice. She patted her on the head. “Is there anything else you need, Natalie?” Maria said. Natalie gripped the fork on the side of the plate then looked behind her at Maria.

“Nu-uh! I’m good. Thanks, Mommy.” Natalie said. Maria smiled lovingly back down.

“Okay! Munchy time!” Natalie thought, her head swiveling back to the plate. She shoved the fork toward the food. Before it speared the eggs, her hand stopped. Her face became confused.

“What am I doing?” She wondered, staring down at her plate. “Pick up the food with the fork.” Natalie thought, she tried moving the fork closer to the eggs, but her muscles didn’t listen. The tip of the fork gravitated away from the plate. She tried again.

“Come on, fork do this!” She thought, trying once more to get the fork into the food. She tried nose diving it into the eggs. Like a forcefield, the fork inevitably bounced away from the food and into the air.

“I know what I’m supposed to do. I have to take the fork, then put it…. Um.. I’m supposed to put it somewhere near the plate. It’s supposed to help me eat the food, but how? This is really confusing. Why do people even use these? How are they at all better than my hands? That’s what I should use. I need to use my hands to eat food! Yeah! That much better idea! Oooo, eggies feel funny. They squishy… hehe is fun to squish eggies.” Natalie thought.

“Don’t play with your food, Natalie! You’re supposed to eat it. Come on, be a big girl. I know you can do it.” She said, tapping her on the shoulder.

“Me big girl!” Natalie thought, with egg covered hands, she went back into her plate. “I gots dis! Grab some eggs, yes just like that. Then… Mmmmm…..” Natalie thought as a fistful of eggs entered her mouth. She chewed loudly on them with her mouth wide open.

It was then the screen in front of Natalie’s eyes changed. Illuminating from a dark screen, to the Netflix logo. A moment later, Maria navigated to The Fairly OddParents.

“OddParents, Fairly OddParents!...” The theme song played from the TV speakers.

“Woah… Dis is good show…” Natalie thought, bits of egg stuck to her lips and chin. She didn’t pay attention to the mountain of crumbles building below her on the floor.

“The colors are so bright. They make this show so easy to watch. I don’t even have to think about it. I don’t need to think about anything. I don’t think about a lot of things. I… I forget a lot of things. I forget about being big sometimes. More than I want to. I forget what it’s like to use the potty too. When I think about the p-…. Po…. I don’t remember what I was thinking about. Something about using my diaper? I think? That’s how I go pee pee. I use my diaper. I’m using my diaper right now… Mmmm… Iz so waarrmmm. When I pee, it all gets so war-“ Natalie stopped her train of thought from a sudden shout from behind.

“Hey! I know what happens when you stop bouncing like that. Are you peeing in your pants, Natalie?” Maria said.

“Wha? Oh shoot! I am peeing! What am I doing!? I didn’t even know I had to go… Oh my god this is… This is not good. Poopy, something isn’t right. I seriously just zoned out about the bathroom, then I just pissed myself. Even… even then just thinking about…. The bathroom. It’s hard to keep it all together. The meaning behind it… It feels faded. The diapers from work are screwing with my head. I-I need to figure this out. I’m experiencing serious side effects. We need to stop testing on the diapers…” Natalie thought.

She couldn’t help it. The word brought a crashing sensation of bliss. Her head cocked to the side, and her mind went backwards.

“Diiaappperrssss…..” Natalie thought again, feeling her head swim in a golden warm pool. Her thoughts grew disjointed. Constructing a meaningful sentence in her inner monologue didn’t matter anymore.

“I.. diaper… poopy…neh….. Show…. Toy………bibib…… soft……… Mommy.”

“Hello??? Anyone in there?” Maria said, she knocked on Natalie’s head.

“Huh?” Natalie said in a daze. She turned around; drips of drool spilled down from her chin.

“Well that’s the last time I let you watch cartoons without a diaper on. You just peed right through your pull-up! You didn’t even try to stop it. Is that what someone who’s potty trained does? Hm? Do they go pee pee in their pants and don’t say anything about it?” Maria said, she sounded teasing, yet joking at the same time. Natalie’s eyes winced in confusion.

“…Potty…. Trained?” Natalie said back slowly.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back. You keep watching your show. I’ll just diaper you on the floor. I don’t want you leaking all over the house.” She said, getting up quickly and fast walking out of the room.

“Mommy is getting me diapers.” Natalie thought, her face turning back to the show. She felt a pleasurable sensation ripple through her mushy padding. She felt her hand snake in between her thighs.

“My Mommy is getting me diapers because I can’t hold it.” She thought, “Ohh…” Escaped her lips. She couldn’t control her thoughts if she tried. She pushed her pelvis into her hand. The pressure dumped another wave of ecstasy through her. She started grinding her hand.

“Mmm…. Dumb diapy. I jus’ dumb and need my diapey. Mmmm…. This… .This feel good. This feel real real real good. I feel gooder when I think dumber. I think dumb. I try… I try do mafs. Was… Was one plus….. One…. I….. I don’t know what numba is. What… What was I thinking bout? Numbas? Mommy say… I… Mmmmm… I not weady for numbas. When I stop… I stop… I don’t do thinkies…. I go pimpidy… I didinty…. Pih… pihn nu….. pinhubwumbaaa….. Nuhhaaaa….. ……. ……. ……………..” Natalie felt her thoughts succeed from her brain. There weren’t words floating around anymore. Only sensations. Simple, easy to visualize, baby sensations. Warmth, spreading out again from the front and back of her pull-up. They made her head feel numb. She wasn’t just helpless in feeling this way. She wanted to go further. The deepest desires in her brain wanted to feel blank.

Her face looked vacant. If she could comprehend what expression was, she’d feel her face had become droopy, and her mouth slacked open. Her lips did nothing to stop her tongue from sticking out as she continued to grind. She babbled incoherently as she approached the end point of her grind. The lightbulbs in her brain hadn’t just gone dark, she was smashing them for good. Each pump did permanent damage to her brain.

Natalie could feel it. And she wanted more.

“Buah…. Buaby…buaabbbyyy…. BUAABBYYYYYY… I BABBYYYY!!!” She squealed, feeling the crescendo reach it’s max. The energy in her brain clocked into overdrive. Each cell in her body erupted into a wildfire of nirvana. She felt her existence melt into blinding pleasure.

All her memories, her self-identity, it dissolved into babyish nothing. She was mentally, barely even a second old.

“GUhuanhuah!” She yelled, collapsing onto the floor. The power of her climax shut down her brain. It discharged into nothing. Natalie lost her consciousness and collapsed onto the floor in a heap.

Maria walked in a minute later, holding a folded adult diaper. She took one look at Natalie, dropped the diaper, and rushed over to her side.

“Natalie! Oh my god, are you okay!!” She said, bending down onto her knees. Her kneecaps felt the cool wet spot of Natalie’s accidents. She flipped Natalie around onto her back. She was breathing, but still had her eyes closed.

“Natalie, come on. Wake up, Natalie. You’re safe, I will take care of everything. Mommy is here.” She said, shaking her to wake the girl up. Natalie’s eyelids peaked open. A small sliver of pupils was visible.

“M-….Mo…” Natalie whispered.

“What! What is it, Baby?” Maria said, she leaned in closer, almost pressing her ear to Natalie’s lips.

“Mo-mmy.” She said, her arm wiggled around on the floor. Slowly, it flopped toward her head. She barely curled her fingers inward, except her index. It pointed toward her purse on a side table.

“W-wab. Get hewp from wab…K-key card….” She said. Her body relaxed; using her last bit of strength to deliver that message, Natalie passed out again.

She looked over at the purse sitting on the table. She knew what Natalie was trying to say. Her access card could get her into the lab, and from there she could find help. She knew she could get Natalie out of this mess and get her off this blossoming diaper addiction.

“Yeah, I can help you, Baby.” Maria said.

With a wicked smile on her face.