Diaper Update 11/2020 (Patreon)

Hey there everyone, with all the craziness that has been going on with this page, I thought it was a fitting time to get back on track with a Diaper Update!

One year. One whole fricken year. That’s how long I’ve been wearing diapers on a regular basis. It’s been a crazy ride filled with so many more challenges than you could ever imagine. But I’ve made. WE have made it.

I didn’t really know how things would go when I started wearing 24/7. A large part of me didn’t think I’d follow through with it. I mean how many people do you know actually go all in with their fetish and make it a serious part of their life? Not a lot.

And if I’m being honest, it was a serious struggle to stick with it at first. I was more or less 24/7 at home from November to February-ish, and I didn’t wear much at all in public. I’d wear pull-ups here or there to feel sexy, but for the most part, I only wore them in the afternoon at home.

Don’t get me wrong, I got SUPER used to wetting in them. I could pee in literally any position. Especially when I wore my pee pants and I didn’t have to worry if I leaked or not. That whole nervous mental barrier was the first road block in this journey. Once I got over that hurdle, I was letting go whenever I felt the slightest urge.

So I was getting used to diapers, but I wasn’t entirely 24/7. I was like the kid who dips their toe into the pool. I knew I wanted to jump in but I was too chicken. I needed someone to push me.

And that’s really where you guys came in.

I think it was either my April or May diaper update (Quarantine and diapers all blends together @_@) . I had a melting pot of emotions about my diapers. Joy because they made me feel happy, excitement because they’re hot to me, frustration because I wasn’t seeing results, anger because I felt like a failure, anxiety because I worried about what others would think, fear that people would look down on me, sadness that I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted to. Your OVERWHELMING responses helped me so much with these emotions.

(At the time) I couldn’t talk to anyone about this. Talking to a close friend would involve letting them in on basically my entire sex life. You guys were really all I had. Your responses weren’t just “Yeah, wear diapers please, that’s what turns us on.” I’d say 85% of the responses were well written, genuine, and very neutral. The consistent theme throughout your messages were 1. It’s okay to wear diapers 2. If you’re okay with telling your family and friends, then it won’t matter 3. Know you’re willingly giving yourself a medical condition 4. (And most important) Life is short. Live it the way you want to.

Those responses were key. It allowed me to have the mental conversation I needed with myself to really start dedicating myself to diapers.

And thank god, because I am NOT going back.

I love being in diapers. Yeah, the price can suck sometimes, but I have a financial system in place (You guys) to help me get them. I don’t really worry about it to be honest. If I need more diapers, I just order more. Simple as that. So, the whole cost issue has really been non-existent.

I told my Mom. It was hard, but I did it. It happened in October. I did it over the phone like a friend suggested. I won’t get into the specifics of the conversation, but she was okay with it. She told me that her and my dad would love me all the same. I could tell she was a weirded out by it, and that’s completely normal. I think it’s natural for her to feel that way. Overtime I think she’ll just get used to it. My dad too. He’s always been a gentle loving figure in my life. I have talked to him since telling my mom, and I’m sure she told him about it, but he didn’t bring anything up. In fact he’s been his normal self every time we’ve talked.

And that’s what I think it’ll be in the end. My relationship with my family will be exactly the way it was before I started wearing diapers. Yes, it was awkward as hell telling her, but overall nothing has changed between us. We’ll see how things go over the holidays. I’ll be wearing them (I have to). I think that’ll be the biggest test. But all in all, I’m happy. They know and I don’t have to have the conversation ever again with them. And I can’t explain the weight that has come off my chest because of that.

So, enough of the emotional sappy stuff. How’s my physical potty training?

To put it mildly, I am a wet girl.

I am constantly wet. Rarely am I ever in a dry diaper. IF ( And that’s a huge IF) I feel any sense of needing to pee, I have maybe a second or two of warning before I’m dribbling into my diaper. There isn’t a way to stop myself from peeing anymore. Now if I want I can try clamping down on my weakened muscles, and gradually stop the stream. But even then, I’m most of the way done with peeing by that point. My bladder muscles have experienced such advanced stages of atrophy that it’s hard for them to respond. They feel soft and difficult to clench. Like they know I’m telling them to clench, but they’re too weak to do anything. Ultimately, I’m really at the mercy of my bladder now. Even if I wanted to stop wetting in my diaper, I’m not going to be able to stop it.

I also don’t notice wetting myself that much. It’s kind of like breathing at this point. Sometimes during the day you notice you’re breathing, but your body just takes care of it for you in the background. So I’ll notice my diaper is getting warmer sometimes, but I quickly stop paying attention. Like I said last post, I mostly just go off of how many diapers I’ve used that day. If it’s 12 PM and I’m on my second diaper, then I’m probably going to need a change soon. I don’t even have to check. I already know I’m going to be squishy.

I am a bedwetter. It’s every night at this point. I’ve been a consistent bedwetter for who knows how long now/ I think it became every night sometime around Septemberish? I started wetting the bed way before then. The hypnosis helped with that a lot tbh. Waking up with the need to pee, I’d let the mantras play in my head. “You don’t need to get up, you can just let go…” Shit like that. I’d relax, pee, and normally fall back asleep before I even finish.

Messing is getting there. I’m comfortable with it, but I still have most if not all of my control. My muscles do feel slightly softer, but if I need to hold it in I can. But like I said, I can easily mess myself whenever I want. Sitting, standing, laying down. I just let it out, and I feel little resistance.

Potty Training:

Bladder Control: 5%

Bowel Control: 95%

You know at the end of the day, the things I worried about being 24/7 turned out to be non-issues at all. “What if you’re in a place where you can’t change?” “What if you’re with friends?” “What if you leak?” I tackle those extremely rare issues just like any other problem. Plan for it, and 99 times out of a 100 you’ll be fine.

Wearing diapers can have it’s downsides sometimes. But so does anything else in life. I’m happy with my choice, and I’m excited to go even further.

Here’s to one-year 24/7, everyone. It's a first, but there's many more diaper anniversaries to come for me :)

MC