Diaper Update 9/20 (Patreon)

Hey everyone!

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this post the past few weeks. Writing these updates for you guys isn’t just for you, it’s also for me. I have to sit down, and really put into words what I’m thinking and feeling about my diapers. I’ve got a lot to talk about this week, and I think I’ve made some really good decisions for myself.

I’m just going to come out and say it, I’m done feeling any remorse about being 24/7. I “came out” in a way to my best friend about my diaper use the past 10ish months. (Literally one of the most nervous moments in my life. I was in a dry diaper about 30 minutes before I called. I was nearly soaked right before I told her. I was stress wetting so bad haha). She was so supportive, and way more kind about it then I ever expected her to be. I just keep thinking about what she said on the phone, “If this is who you are, then you owe it to yourself to live this way.” And she’s right. Ever since that conversation, I haven’t looked back. I feel like I’ve been let free from this horrible weight that’s been weighing down on me. This is me. I wear diapers. It’s who I am, and it’s a part of my identity as a woman. Accepting that about myself has been one of the most liberating feelings I’ve ever had.

This past month I didn’t wear a single pair of panties. I normally would wear them a couple times a month when I was feeling bad about my diaper use, but not this month. In fact, I legit threw them all out. I was going to save a few, but I thought to myself, If I ever want to wear panties again, I can just go buy a few packs at the store. It’s not like I’ll be wearing them anytime soon anways, because….

My untraining is really starting to kick in at this point. I had a feeling this was going to happen. I could tell I was at the point where I was getting close to diaper dependency. I was at the metaphorical “Cliff” of my potty training. And this past month has been a straight plunge in diapers.  

I remember posting about how I had my accident without noticing in like April or May I think (Idk, it’s all blending together at this point haha). Well I’d say now, that about 50-60% of the time I wet myself without noticing. My bladder muscles are starting to feel really soft and genuinely hard to flex. I think that’s probably part of the reason I’m seeing an increase in the amount of diapers I’m wetting. The dribbling is happening a lot now.

I think part of this nose dive into my further diaper dependence has been my subconscious. It’s strange to say for someone like me at this point, but I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can “Trust” my diapers. By that I mean, I’ve always been worried that I’m going to leak through, even when my diaper is dry. But now that I’ve wet so many diapers, I low key think I’m a professional at knowing how much more a diaper can take XD. 

For me it’s all about time frames at this point. I can’t say “I’ll wet 3 times, then I’ll change.” I don’t know when I’m wetting all the time now. By that I mean, what I think may have only been one wetting, might actually be 3 or 4. And then of course, there are those little trickles that will come out when I sneeze or get up real fast. So often I’ll check myself or just change every 2 hours. Ever since then, I have no worries about my diaper holding it all in.

That peace of mind has allowed me to pretty much stop thinking about the state of my bladder. I’ve read a lot about this online (and listen to a shit ton of hypnosis to further support this way of thinking), and if you really try to ignore messages from your bladder, and just let it happen, that way of thinking will become more and more ingrained into your normal day to day thoughts.

Effectively I’ve made serious headway in going from, “What should I text back to my friend- Oh, I feel pressure, where is a bathroom? How much more can I hold? Will I be able to make it? I need to get up and walk to the toilet.” To -> “What should I text back to my friend- Oh. Anyways, I think I’ll send this funny meme I found on FB to her. She’d totally get that refence *Diaper gets warm*. Haha, yes this one is perfect.” You get what I’m trying to say I hope haha.

I will admit. And I know I haven’t been high on it in the past, I’m getting more comfortable with messing as well.

I tried the marshmallow trick this month. For those of you who don’t know what that is, essentially you put marshmallows up your bum, and then let them dissolve. If you resist the urge to mess, you’ll legit have an accident within 20-30 minutes. It might sound weird haha, and I thought so too, but so many people said on these diaper forms that it feels like a real accident. And OH MY GOD THEY’RE RIGHT. Legit, it was like my bowls said, “Go screw, Maggie. I’m pooping whether you like it or not.” I loved it. And now I’m low key addicted to it haha. 

I think I needed that moment where I sat in my mess for close to an hour and didn’t get any rash or infection. I can normally change within in hour wherever I am. So, this past month I’ve mainly just been messing in my diapers. I still used the toilet a little in the beginning of the month, but god it really is convenient to not have to get up, take off my diaper, go, and tape it all back on. Instead I can just go, wait a little bit, then just go clean up later. And frankly, I eat very well, so I don’t have much in the way of smell. Idk, I’ve even gotten just a little used to it too.

Some funny tidbits for you guys. Last week I was talking to a friend about a memory from last summer. After I thought to myself, “Wait, what did I wear to that to make sure my diaper was hidden?” And then I realized I wasn’t even IN diapers yet at that point. When these become your regular underwear, the line of when you started can get seriously blurred haha.

The other day I heard, “That girl’s ass is THICK” when I was in the grocery store. Not sure if he thought it was because of my body, or the fact I was wearing a diaper Lol. 

Thank you, guys, as always for reading my updates. Like I said, it’s important for my own mental health to sit down and write this all out. This has been way more of an emotional journey than physical. I’m happy with my choice. I wear diapers, and that’s wonderful because it’s who I am. Life’s WAY too short to live the way I don’t want to. The new people I meet in my life will just have to accept that about me.

I wanted to open a little Q-A too. If you have any questions, just comment below and I’ll get to it! If you don’t want to say anything in this publicish form, then feel free to private message me 😊

I’ll end with the picture I took for you guys when I threw my previous underwear out. I took it for this post, but in a weird way, it’s been a reminder to me that I made the right choice every time I scroll past it:

See you next month, guys! Stay diapered 😊

MC

P.S. All the money I make from this Patreon goes to diapers. They can be expensive though. If you wanna help keep me padded, here is my wishlist: 

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2ER5QTGFVU7OV?ref_=wl_share

If you pick up a package for me, I'll throw a single image caption in it for you :) and of course, you'll have my love and appreciation for the rest of eternity!