Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

Book Advice - Part 2 (Patreon)

Published:
2017-12-15 04:26:56
Imported:
2022-09

Content

Hey all!

So I’m laying some groundwork so that I can have Book One finished as quickly as possible once all the chapters are laid out, but I need some advice.

Obviously, one of the first things I will need to do before publishing is ask all of my Monster Loving friends for help spotting some of my biggest continuity errors. One of the problems in writing a piece like this one chapter at a time is that I make some fuck ups, and I fully hope that those of you who have a better attention span than me will help me spot all of them come January.

However, when I am doing book length rewrites, there is the temptation to rewrite lines of dialogue, change set pieces, etc. Little things that correct the ebb and flow. Which brings me to a question that has been on my mind for a few weeks.

So far, every chapter has been well received by the Lit community with the exception of Chapter 9. While I get that some people aren’t into pegging, I can’t write every sex scene to appease every kink. However, in writing it, I wanted to establish Lily’s dominance (bad guy - duh!), and I wanted the scene to play out sort of like the first scene in the book where Naia slips her finger’s up Mike’s ass and he comes, discovering that he likes it.

However, I’ve gotten a lot of comments, reviews, and even some hate-mail equating the scene as rape. It is my lowest rated chapter by far, but it has more favorites than most of the others, so I am suffering some confusion as to how much people liked or hated it.

So I guess I am stuck. Do I rewrite it to keep my original vision of “You’re going to like this“ or do I reword some of the dialogue so that it is less “rapey?” Keeping in mind that this will eventually be on Amazon, the last thing I need is dozens of one-star “Rape” reviews, but I also don’t want to change the original material to placate the vocal minority. I really want to hear opinions on this matter as long as everyone can play nice. Rape is one of the big Annabelle No-Nos, and I’m afraid that I am struggling to gauge this situation abjectly.

Take care of each other. Hoping to have the next chapter land next week. Keep your eye out for a couple more Holiday Cards in the very near future!

Annabelle

Comments

Yshomatsu

Mike was trapped by a demon and consented to a deal. It didn’t go as he expected. If as a writer nothing bad ever happened to your characters no one would read it, it would be boring or at the very least predictable. Maybe if people are butthurt (pun intended) about it you could rewrite part of it. But the scene as a whole can’t be changed completely. Lily isn’t some fluffy vanilla character, she has countless ages or experience and would know things we humans wouldn’t ever think of, in theory

Anonymous

Please don’t alter your creativity to appease narrowminded PC psychophants. As earlier mentioned, Mike made his deal and therefore has to suffer the consequences.

Anonymous

Honestly, I believe that the low rating in that chapter is almost entirely because it contains pegging, not because of the possible rapeyness of the situation. It's just a huge turnoff for many people. If this had been a first chapter in a series I would have probably dropped it right there. Don't be surprised if you still get many one-star reviews even if you make it clear that it's not rape.

Anonymous

I have to admit that the pegging scene definitely isn't my kink, but I rated the chapter based on your writing style and overall storytelling ability. The idea of rating a story solely based on an individuals personal likes or dislikes is (in my opinion) totally self-centered and counter productive to the writing process as a whole. I LIKE YOUR STORIES BECAUSE YOU ARE GOOD AT TELLING THEM. The way in which you choose to tell them is your prerogative, because they are your CREATION. Anything else is unacceptable in my book. Remember, you can NEVER please everybody, so you shouldn't stress with trying to. Those of us who appreciate you for your writing will enjoy the stories whether or not they are always about subjects (or kinks) that we personally enjoy. Overall, your writing tastes and subject matter are something that I love about you. Don't change.

Annabelle Hawthorne

I want to thank everybody for weighing in, and reassure everyone that I'm not about to change how I write to appease people. For me, it was more about intent. I wanted a certain scene to be a certain way, and some of that was lost in translation. Yes, I wanted him to get smacked around for challenging a sex demon to a sex fight. That's like bitch-slapping Mike Tyson in his heyday and expecting to come out ahead somehow. Any changes I make will be largely to dialogue. Like I said, in my mind it was more a "What the hell are you doing back there, oh, I am pleasantly surprised!" versus "Take It Bitch." I want to make sure that I establish that there is consent, even if it is a bit reluctant. Anybody who has wanted to try something new with a longtime sexual partner knows what I am talking about, that moment of "I'm not sure about this, but I'll do it for you." Something for me to think about. Gonna go write some more of that next chapter, cause I got a witch on the loose who needs taking care of.

Anonymous

Write the stories the way you see them.

Anonymous

Putting aside that he has essentially been kidnapped, and held against his will for weeks without contact with anyone else, other than the succubus, or any other kind of meaningful stimulation or interaction. I thought it was quite obvious that it was written to show that he kind of bit off more than he could chew. The pegging possibly could be interpreted as a consequence of that fact. And here is the but-for (aka, personal opinion). For those readers, like me, that tend to put ourselves in the MC's shoes and live a much more fantastic sex life vicariously through your writing: it broke the immersion. Practically everything you've written and done up to this point has meshed well with my overall sexuality and the things I like and fantasize about. Adding the pegging, and the total lack of consent, preparation, or any kind of prepatory build up broke that immersion and I'll admit I had a difficult time finishing the chapter the first time I read it. Personally I don't believe that I would ever allow someone to say "you're going to take it and like it," without me stopping whatever is happening and saying oh hell no. Mind you, this is all personal opinion, I offer it because it's not a particular view point I have seen in the comments just yet. Then again she is a demon, and he did challenge her to a sex fight. And it is your story, so if pegging the MC by a succubus is what you want to write about then by all means write away. I still think it is a fantastic story, and will continue to enjoy reading and being a Patron

Anonymous

Hmmm . . . I notice there wasn't a lot of concern about rape when Emily was coerced by Garrett. Magical coercion, to be sure, but still a sort of rape.

Anonymous

On another topic -- watch out for the kind of typo that spell-check misses; "bare" for "bear", for example.

Anonymous
>>8913869

>more a "What the hell are you doing back there, oh, I am pleasantly surprised!" versus "Take It Bitch." The "take it bitch" feelings might be coming from this line: >“You can, you will, and you’ll like it.” I think where people might have been lost with the translation is shown in the next chapter with: >“I must admit, that gave me some mixed feelings. I was so angry at you for doing that All said, I got more of a domination feel from it than a rape one.

Anonymous

I realize I'm a bit late here, but I did want to respond to this anyway. There are a couple of things I thought would be worth mentioning. First off I'll say that personally I did find the scene to come off as particularly rapey and while, as others have mentioned, that's somewhat to be expected given that Lily is a demon, if it wasn't what you intended then it may be worth changing. Particular since Lily seems like she'll be joining the rest of the monsters eventually and sympathy for her character will probably be important. You mentioned changing the dialogue and I think that's probably the best bet. I'd especially consider adding a line highlighting that Lily is actually seeing Mike's desires and knows that he will like it to an extent. Another thing I wanted to mention was the difference here in what might be bothering people. Personally I'm not a big fan of either femdom or pegging so, as another user mentioned, the scene did pull me right out of the story. This is probably going to be the case with a lot of guys as I doubt the majority of guys are into pegging. Since taking it out isn't an option (or something I'd recommend) it might be worth addressing in story how often something like this might be expected to happen between Lily and Mike so reader's can prepare themselves etc. Personally the combination of femdom and pegging is much worse than either on their own, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was the case for others since part of the dislike of it for men might come from the unusually vulnerable position it puts them in. I could deal with either light pegging or light femdom happening on occasion, but regular domination with pegging of Mike would be kind of a deal breaker. So you might want to address what part it is that Mike actually likes (thereby addressing the likelyhood of certain things happening again). It seems like from what I read that he enjoys anal stimulation but he was somewhat put off by the way Lily went about it, which to me implies that he isn't a particularly big fan of the vulnerability/domination aspect. Given that this is almost certainly the case with a lot of guys, Mike feeling the same way might go a long way to make those readers more comfortable with things (i.e. if pegging were to happen again it wouldn't be so aggressively dominant). Lastly, a much smaller point is that reading the scene left me really unsettled because, unless I missed something, you never really explained what happened to Lily's stinger! Does it retract? or curl in so as to be nondangerous? I spent the whole pegging scene thinking he was in danger of getting stabbed with a giant scorpion stinger and it was uncomfortable to say the least lol Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I hope some of my thoughts help and thanks for the story! I've been really enjoying it so far and look forward to seeing where you take it in the future.

Tyler Crowley

One possible way is modify how you describe the stinger. In a lot of the art that you've posted it makes it seem more like it's a typical succubus tail that you usually read about in erotic stories and in hentai, almost more like a cat tail that swings around and has a stinger on the end of it. When I read the chapter and it was described as a scorpion tail, i imagined it just like that, thick(like a baseball bat), hard and rigid, which is more aggressive as opposed to a cat tail. Maybe this softens the recoil when reading the chapter? Keep up the amazing work. This is one of the best stories i've read in years.

Anonymous

I would like to provide a counter argument to this statement. So, one of the things I like (personally) about novels is that I never know what is coming. The story is written out already, and in that aspect, it kinda let's things play out the way they should (or the way the author wants it to). I have a hard time understanding why Mike being pegged is such a big deal personally. Not that it appeals to me or a lot of other readers, but the fact that Mike was caught off guard only adds to the point that he has been caught off guard this whole story. So the theme is there. As far as this scene being "rapey", I think that couldn't be further from the truth. Mike was the one who initialized having sex with the succabus. Not only that, but it was clear that he liked it. So I would like to offer a thought. Given that it got bad responses from some readers, perhaps the voting poll is a good way to settle this. Or, if needed, this could be dropped all together and simple left like it truly was, a crazy thing in a crazy place at a crazy time. Regardless, I think your readers are gunna stand by you no matter what. I cannot speak for everyone, but I'm officially hooked to this story, and I can't wait for more of it to come. Just a thought... and good job! Your doing great!!!