Held Back Theater 7 (Patreon)

As embarrassing as it was having Gigi dress him up and paint his face while his hair was in curlers, waiting in front of his mom now was somehow worse. Even though she stood four inches shorter than his five foot nine, she absolutely towered over him in that moment. It was all Toby could do to keep his legs from shaking as he stood underneath her examining gaze. 

“Sweetie!” Toby nearly didn’t hear his mother’s gasping breath over the sound of the thin leather strap twisting in his hand as he braced for mockery that never came. “You are so pretty!”

Toby’s grip loosened on the strap of the purse as his mom tucked the loose curl out of his face. “R-really?” Toby breathed. ‘She’s just saying that to make me feel better. As if that would make me feel better about this insanity.’

“Of course, why would I lie?”

‘Guilt?’ Toby thought with a silent shrug.

“I tried to tell her the same thing but she didn’t believe me.” Gigi said as she walked around Toby to stand beside his mother.

“Of course you’d lie…you did this.” Toby turned and gestured to his outfit.

“Honey, have you looked in a mirror?” Leanne asked.

“Pfft! No way.” He shook his head. ‘Bad enough I have to dress like a freak, why would I wanna see it?’ 

“Tobias.” Leanne calmly called her son’s name, and, like some modern day digital gunslinger, Leanne had taken her phone out of her pants pocket and snapped a picture of Toby as he turned to face her. The only confirmation of what had happened had been the shutter sound.

“Mom!” Toby lunged and stole his mom’s phone, but he was too late. The picture had already been taken. There, in the living room he did recognize, stood a girl he barely recognized rolling her eyes at his mom. If he wasn’t deeply away of the fact that he was wearing the clothes in the picture he could convince himself it was someone else standing in his place.

“See, I told you, you were pretty.” Leanne said gently, holding out her hand and waited for her phone to be returned. “And if you’d smiled instead of rolling your eyes you’d be even prettier.” Toby rolled his eyes and deleted the photo before slowly handing it back to his mother.

“Whatever.” He grumbled and removed the strawberry purse from his shoulder, “I’m gonna go change.”

“What for?” Leanne begged.

“You can’t!” Gigi exclaimed. “We’re not done yet and you still haven’t figured out what kind of girl you are. I told you, you need more than one or two outfits. Have you even figured out a name yet?”

“No. Why would I?” Toby crossed his arms, annoyed at the jingling sounds from the strawberry purse he continued to hold onto like a security blanket.

“Gigi,” Leanne said, grabbing her feminized son’s shoulder, “would you mind being a dear and putting the brownie batter up, please?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Thank you. The saran wrap is in the drawer to the left of the fridge.” Once Gigi was out of the room Leanne released her son’s arm, “She does have a point. You’re gonna need new clothes.”

Toby groaned, “But I don’t need to go.”

Leanne sighed, “We’ve talked about this before, you’re old enough to get your own clothes.”

“I know, but this is different.” Toby whispered, glancing over his shoulder to the kitchen.

“You’re right. It is different. It’s not like I can go to the mall and pick you out a pair of jeans.”

“Why not?” Toby huffed. “This…stuff…fits so can’t you just get the sizes from that? Or Gigi? There’s no reason I need to go with you guys.”

Leanne suppressed the laugh she felt bubbling up within her, knowing it wasn’t her fault her son didn’t know just how convoluted women’s fashion could be. “For starters, a pair of pants may say they’re the same size on the label but one pair could be bigger or smaller depending on the brand.”

“What? That’s dumb.”

“Believe me, I know.” Leanne laughed in agreement. “Believe me, I know.” Leanne laughed in agreement. Seeing the pained look on her son’s face she sighed and said gently, “I know you’ve been through a lot today already, and I know waxing is…not fun. So how about I make you a deal. You still need to get yourself some clothes, but I’ll be nice and you can stay home and help me with dinner tonight, and we can postpone the mall trip until tomorrow. Okay?” 

“Cooking?” Toby grimaced as he thought about his mom’s offer. “It wasn’t bad enough you made me go to the grocery store?”

“You’re still grounded for vandalizing the theater.” She said forcefully. 

“So either way I’m being punished.”

“Going to the mall in a cute outfit is not a punishment.” She spoke again with her usual softness, “It’s something you need to do. And your friend is nice enough to help with. Or do you think you could have done a better job making you all pretty?”

Toby considered her question for a moment. The only “girl’s” clothes that were in the house belonged to his mother, and while she had makeup he had only ever seen her wear it for a special event. So she no doubt knew less than Gigi did about makeup. Not that he would have been able to ask his mom to teach him. He wouldn’t have even considered shaving his legs let alone waxing most of his body. Nor would he have had access to the fake boobs Gigi forced on him. It wasn’t that he liked them, but…girls his age had boobs. They looked shockingly real from his perspective.

“Well?” She asked again.

“Absolutely not.” Toby shook his head in disgust, comparing the brief image he had seen in the selfie to the hideously humiliating image he would have concocted on his own.

“Good. And, like I said, I’m giving you the option because I believe you’ve had a hard day already. But if you’re okay with going to the mall and getting yourself some clothes now, that’s fine.”

“If I help with dinner,” he asked slowly, as if he were testing the firmness of a frozen lake, “does that mean I can change back to my clothes?”

Leanne thought for a moment and shook her head, “You can change for dinner. That way you’ll be more used to wearing it tomorrow.”

“Sucky options either way.” Toby mumbled.

“Sometimes the only options you have are bad.” Her gentle smile transformed into a hard thin line to match her voice, “I shouldn’t even be giving you a choice here.” Toby started to say something but Leanne cut him off, “Tobias, we’ve been over this. You have to show Mr. McCullin you are trying. It’s either this or jail and your options there just get worse and worse.” She paused, giving time for her words to sink in before she spoke again. “I love you,” The hard edge to her voice now gone, “and I am willing to do anything I can to make this easier for you but you have to show me you’re trying too. Okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Toby said, staring at his feet. “What are we making?”

“I was going to make a casserole.”

“That sounds really hard.”

“Not really. I’ll show you.” Leanne said, smiling softly.

“Okay.” He nodded, ‘Better than humiliating myself in public. At least one more day.’ keeping the thought to himself and followed his mother into the kitchen.

“I put the brownies in the oven.” Gigi said.

“Gigi, would you like to stay for dinner?" Leanne asked as she entered the kitchen.

“Sure, if it’s no trouble.” Gigi said, glancing between Toby’s stupefied face and the warm smiling face of Toby’s mother.

“Oh it’ll be no trouble. Tobias was going to help me make dinner tonight so we’ll have to go shopping tomorrow I’m afraid.”

“She was?” Gigi asked suspiciously, making sure to emphasize her usage of the feminine pronoun for Toby. 

“Of course,” His mother answered, “it’s the least we can do to thank you for helping us with all of this.” 

“Y-yeah.” Toby nodded. ‘Damn,’ he groaned inwardly, ‘why’d she have to invite her?’ 

“Okay then.” She said, her tone made it obvious that she did not believe him, “We can work on your voice and workshop names since we’re not going anywhere.” She added, smirking at Toby. “Would you like any help?” She asked Leanne cheerfully. “I used to help my mom cook dinner all the time.”

“That’s so sweet of you to offer. I always welcome some extra help in the kitchen. You know, Tobias used to be my little helper when he was littler.” Leanne's smile broadened at the fond memory as she took two spare aprons off of the shelf in their small pantry.

“Really?” Gigi giggled.

“Oh, yes. Many moons ago.” Leanne giggled back at the young girl before turning to Toby. “Which would you prefer? Red or yellow?” 

“...Red.” He lied.

“Okay.” She said and with a cheerful smile handed Toby a red apron with tiny cherries stitched along the white trim. “Here you go, sweetie. We wouldn’t want to risk getting your cute new outfit all messy, would we?” She asked, not expecting an answer, “Think you can tie it by yourself or do you need some help?”

Toby frowned at his mom’s seemingly simple question. He could tie it himself, but if he admitted that his mom, or Gigi, might think he liked this girly stuff. But if he said no…they would think he was a helpless idiot.

“I should’ve picked the mall.” Toby mumbled to himself, a blush burning on his cheeks as he tied the apron in a knot behind his back.

“Good job!” his mom said in that voice parents reserved for when their toddlers make it to the potty in time or tie their shoes all by themselves. “I do hope yellow is alright with you, dear.” She said, turning to Gigi. 

“It’s great.” Gigi grinned as she took the yellow apron and tied it around herself.

“Splendid.” Leanne cheered, “My only other one isn’t clean, as you can see,” She said, pointing to the apron hanging on the hook, “This recipe shouldn’t be too messy,” She said, emphasizing the word too, “but you both look so cute and it’s better safe than sorry am I right?” Both of the teens nodded in agreement, Gigi much more eagerly than Toby did. 

When Leanne saw how cute both girls looked in their aprons her smile had widened far enough to force a giggle out of her. She loved her son more than anything in the world, but seeing him dressed as he was now, she couldn’t help but recall the fantasies she had during her pregnancy when she still had been expecting a daughter whom she could pass on her love of cooking. She loved having her son as her little kitchen helper. Even so she couldn’t help but wonder if Tobias had been born a girl if he still would have called the activity lame and refused to help anymore all those years ago or would they still cook together every night.

“Okay,” Leanne said, clapping her hands together and derailing her train of thought, “We should get started.”

The process of cooking did not take long under Leanne’s guidance. Though it normally would only have taken five minutes or less if she had not had to teach Tobias how to properly mince garlic, chop spinach, or show Gigi how to grate cheese so neither of them cut their fingers. But then she would not have gotten to teach them how to properly mince garlic, chop spinach, or grate cheese.

In between his mother’s instructions, Gigi would give Toby her own instructions on how to speak more like a girl. How to speak from his throat rather than from his chest so as to raise it up in octaves, when to let his voice raise in pitch and when to let it fall. 

“What about Tyra?” Gigi would ask every now and again.

“No way that–”

“Eh, from your throat.” She’d say with a gesture to her throat, or raise her hand to remind him of his pitch.

“That’s too close to what everyone calls me now.” He’d squeak in reply.

“Okay…What about Annabelle? You can go by Belle, or Bella.” She suggested.

It was dark by the time Rory Laughlin pulled into his driveway. Shutting off the engine he sat in the driver’s seat for a moment, letting himself enjoy the brief silence and collect his thoughts before he got out of the car. The week had not been particularly good for Rory’s spirit. His boss was an ass and insisted on constantly telling him how to do his job. But that was nothing new and normally he would kick back in his chair, beer in hand, and watch a little football with his son and forget about his troubles. But no, his son fucked up again so it would just be him and his beer watching the game.

A few days ago his son slugged the little fairy, Nico. Worse than punching the queer in front of witnesses though he had hurt one of the girls in the class and the school had threatened expulsion. When his wife told him how Toby had supposedly hurt the girl it sounded too ridiculous to be true. Not that it mattered much now. Toby just had to pass some stupid sensitivity class and he could go back to school.

‘He’d better pass that class or he’ll have hell to pay.’ He thought and got out of his car.

“-feel pretty. Oh so pretty and witty and gay! And I pity any girl who isn’t me today!” he heard as soon as he opened the door.

“Hey, I’m home.” Rory called out to anyone who could hear him as he walked into the foyer.

“Rory.” His wife said, ending whatever “fail” video she had been watching and rushing to greet him at the door. A smile crossed his face at the memory of how she used to greet him at the door every day when they had first got married. ‘What changed?’ he wondered. Before she could say anything further Rory gave Leanne a brief kiss.

“God what a day.” He groaned, loosening his tie. “I swear to God people are such dumbasses. If I had to listen to Wayland bitching about–Oh,” He paused when he entered the living room and saw two teenage girls standing beside each other, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize we had company.” His tone immediately changed from its usual annoyance as he prepared to unload his day to his wife, to a much more restrained and polite voice he used for speaking to higher ups and union reps. “Rory Laughlin.” He said, offering his hand and a polite smile to both of the girls.

“Hello Mr.Laughlin. My friends call me Gigi.” The first girl said with a broad smile.

“Good to meet you, Gigi.” Rory smiled back at Gigi’s chipper voice and energetic smile before offering his hand to the second girl who stood as close to Gigi as she could. The unnamed girl looked at her friend before silently placing her quivering hand in his.

“Sam-Sar-Cindy?” The way her voice squeaked as she spoke it almost sounded as if she were asking him.

“A pleasure to meet you, Cindy.” He said with his practiced salesman smile. Cindy had placed her delicate hand carefully in his as though she was afraid he might break it at first, but the nervous girl with the delicate hand had a firm handshake. If she could get over her shyness, as pretty as she was, she would likely have a good future in sales. 

And then, he realized why such a nervous girl was dressed in such a revealing outfit. ‘The cheerful one probably talked her into the outfit somehow.’ He thought. Remembering how his wife had mentioned that was something girls tended to do to help their shy friends. 

“Are you giving singing lessons now?” He asked his wife over his shoulder with a laugh, hoping to offer the nervous Cindy some relief by taking the focus off of her. But there was something oddly familiar about the girl that he couldn’t quite place. “Actually,” He said, turning back to the quiet girl who still shook his hand, “I’m sorry, have we met before? You look really familiar.” At that the girl snatched her hand out of his. There was something oddly familiar about the girl that he couldn’t quite place. 

“Rory.” His wife said as she walked around him and placed her hands on the nervous girl’s shoulders. “We talked about this the other day.”

Then, like a bolt of lightning, he recognized the girl in front of him was not a girl, but his own son. “What in the hell is this?!” Rory shouted. His previous smile twisted into a disgusted glare.

“I told you there were conditions to–”

He glared at the effeminate freak his son was dressed up as. “Dressing my son up like a sissy faggot is not a condition!” 

“Rory!” Her voice took on a sharp edge but stopped herself and said to the two teens in a much calmer voice than she felt, “Gigi, Tob-uh…Cindy, can you give us a minute?”

Normally Rory would feel a sense of pride seeing a girl following his son upstairs to his room. But now he clenched his jaw as he watched the teens climb up the stairs. The breasts on his son’s chest bounced with each hurried step. They looked oddly real but they had to be fake. He would have noticed at some point if his son started growing tits.

“I can’t believe you said that to our son.” Leanne spat and stormed off into the kitchen.

“What else am I supposed to say when I see my son dressed like some teenage transvestite hooker?” Rory demanded as he chased after her. “Why is my son dressed like some teenage transvestite hooker? Where and why did he get boobs?! Who is that girl?” Before Leanne could answer Rory continued. “Wait…,” He turned towards the stairs in an attempt to get another look at the girl who was with his son, but he could only see the bottom of the stairs from the kitchen, “is that even a girl?” Rory asked. “It’s Billy isn’t it. I always knew there was something weird about him.”

“Billy is a good five inches shorter than her.” Leanne’s lips formed a thin line as she locked eyes with her husband. “Her name is Gigi and she is an incredibly sweet girl. She’s been helping Tobias, or Cindy,–” She waved her hand in the direction of the stairs–“get ready.”

“Get ready for what exactly?”

“For school.”

“Dressed like that?!”

“Yes. I already told you there were cond–”

“You told me he’d have to do some stupid sensitivity class. Not this.”

“I knew you would react like this.” Leanne shook her head.

“You’re damn right! Why the hell would you agree to this insane idea?”

“What other choice did I have?!”

“Whichever one did not force our son to go to school dressed like one of those nutjobs from the news! Hell! Let him be expelled, they can’t force him to dress like some fruit for school. I know a guy at channel 5, he’d have this story go viral in a big way. Then we can find him another school after we sue that joke of a school into the dirt!” Rory’s eyes flared as he imagined standing on the ashes of the former Stonewall Academy.

“If it was just expulsion do you think I’d let them do this to my son, Rory?!” Leanne snapped. Her glare matched her husband’s, putting him in mind of a cougar baring its fangs. “I would be the first one on board to burn that school to the ground or wash my hands of the place and find him a better school if it was just self-defense for what that boy did but it isn’t! He hurt a perfectly innocent girl!” The anger that briefly flared up inside of her began to fade, leaving a cold chill to form in her veins and causing her voice to quiver. “They were going to press charges and he would go to prison where God only knows what might happen to him.” She cried. “Even if we got lucky and Tobias didn’t get sent to jail for aggravated assault it would still be on his record. What sort of life do you think he could have like that? What college would accept him when they find out what he was expelled for? How could you ask him to go through all of that when they offered us a lifeline?” Hot tears welled up in her eyes at the unbearable visions she conjured up in her own mind. “I–I couldn’t let them take my baby.” she sobbed as her husband took her into his arms.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Rory said gently as he stroked her hair, “No one’s gonna take our son away.”