Ramblings: Writing Darker (Patreon)

There was a recent review posted up on FM that asked some good questions, which got me thinking, and I thought I might write out my thoughts here. Apologies for another rambling response!

The review asked:

"Some observations and questions, if you happen to see this and are open to it:
- since your return to the story, things are generally darker. Some of the character revisions paint folks in a more sinister light (eg Scooter). Even from within her head K seems more damaged and manipulative. The broader world references speak to decay and inequality. Even David has proven more vicious and selfish in his history. Intentional writing or just the perspective of an addition 15 years?
- do you know the major plot beats and how it ends?
- do you keep images of the characters you use for inspiration? I’d be curious to see in a future chapter"

The last two are easy enough to answer: yes, the major plot beats have been planned out since I started writing back in... yikes, 2007 or so? I can dimly remember, after writing what's now the Prologue (the opening cinematic with Cindy pointing a gun at Tom's head) working backwards from the scene and planning out the key plot beats. The general outline took form then, as did major characters: David and Tom, Sakura and Persephone (originally, and inexplicably, named Katherine), and Agent K. They were bare sketches as characters, initially. Alongside them, I had the key plot points sketched out: the trip to the Clinic, the fight scene there, and so on.

The ending's always been very clear in my mind.

As for images: no, I've never really kept images of the characters, though I've tried playing around with AI art a bit. I did start a Pinterest board about a year ago, and that's helped? or maybe inspired some of the fashion choices for Cindy... if I remember, I think one of the descriptions in the second interlude came directly from a Pin I found; and the little black dress CIndy wore on the date with Dan came from a google search--I accidentally left the link to the online shop when I first posted the rough draft here!

But no, instead of images I keep snippets of relevant prose in an ever-growing OneNote notebook to refer back to when necessary.

That being said, especially with the rise of AI Art and the inevitable improvement in the software--I can see that changing. Some patrons have (incredibly kindly) offered to try their hands at generating images based off the prose, so who knows, someday there may be an illustrated Constant in All Other Things?

As for the first question--I find that one really interesting and I think the answer is an unavoidable "yes" - the writing's gotten darker since the initial run. It's one of the things that really jumped out for me as I reread the first book and revised it, and especially in first Interlude and opening chapter.

I think there's two things at play here:

1. I never really defined the wider setting throughout the first book. This was 75% deliberate choice and about 25% laziness. I didn't want to pin down American vs British linguistical choices, for example, wobbling between the different words used for lingerie; I wanted the setting to feel sort of "anywhere", though it clearly had a bit of an American flavour. Also, I was writing (at least at first) at a much faster pace, and my goal was to push the plot forward. Part of that was maintaining focus on David and his rush for safety, and I wanted a certain claustophobic feel to everything - from his perspective, the wider world didn't really matter, at least not until he had an opportunity to catch his breath at the Clinic from chapters 7 onward.

2.I'm not the me that started Constant back in 2007-ish. I'm probably a happier person, in many ways, though one with a lot less free time--finding time for writing is a daily battle! But more relevantly, the world's a changed place, too. When I started Constant I imagined it set in the near-future, ie the 2020s! Well, that's now so I've pushed that near-future back into the 2050s (2053 to be specific--I finally got around to plotting out the specific dates of things).

And--without wanting to sound overly pessimistic--it's hard to not take on the realities of climate change, pandemics and international conflicts and see these things getting better when you roll them forward another thirty years. In no way do I have the technical or political qualification to make predictions about these things, but in maintaining the 'grittiness' of the sorta-noir feel of the series, it's led to a slightly-dystopian future feel.

However, some of this is driven by the fiction. For example, I don't actually think the America's going to go all Handmaid's Tale, even following some of the contemporary news stories that regularly emerge. But a near-future America where female rights are slowly and systematically rolled back makes for a more stifling setting within which David needs to navigate. TG fiction often seems to thrive in stereotypes, but creating a realistic setting in which maybe those stereotypes are reinforced by political and cultural expectations makes for a more believable and better story, I think. Or at least, that's what I'm trying for.

As for the characters - I'll admit, the darker turn with Scooter took me a little by surprise. Or rather, it made sense in Book to write him that way, but re-reading Book 1 and the interlude, it does make for a radical jump in character. It's why I had to add in the divorce and various work pressures to justify (at least in part) what was going on with him. I don't think it entirely works, and it's something I'll have to consider when I give the whole story its final edit.

As for K - I think changes in her are largely down to the gap in writing. Consistency suffered for the ten year-plus gap in writing, though I always wanted her to remain enigmatic. Again, it came as a bit of a suprise, rereading book one and rediscovering how--open?--she was in those final chapters. There's a whole backstory to her I never found space to share explaining her hatred for Steele, and it's something I need to find a way of fitting in.

And David--well--I guess I always intended for him to be "dark", though ambiguously so. A mysoginist, but also who also equally loves women and seeks validation in them--which is part of the reason he hates them, as he despises dependency. Exploitative and callous, especially in those early years, but also totally commited to and sensitive to the needs of whatever sexual partner he has for the night. Most of all, I want him to come off as deeply wounded by his experiences of the past. I'm hoping that ultimately, it'll be a redemptive story for David. The fear is that I don't quite have the skill to pull that off. Big ideas about characterisation are easy, but pulling it off? Not so much.

But of course, that's why I started writing Constant in the first place - to try my hand at writing something longer and to get practice at writing, to try and develop skills and grow as a writer so that someday, I could try my hand at it professionally. I still think I've got quite some ways to go, but patreon support and very kind reviews have been very encouraging.

One thing that came out of the recent revision and repost was how easily I could've ended the whole series at the end of Book One. It could've ended with him in Cindy's flat, awakening to his new reality, with that final message to "just be Cindy" and live her life. A few tweaks at the ending - no phone call with Steele, just Fosters reporting back that he's found David and is going to kill him, to throw him off the trail - and it would've wrapped up nicely. I'm still considering making a change along that line, with chapter 1 of book two moved to create that ending, and creating a greater break between the initial series and its sequel. But that may wait for the final edit.

Hmm. I should probably end it here. I'm not entirely sure I've fully answered the question - apologies for yet another overly-long ramble!