Super Zombie Slayers - Epilogue (Patreon)

Thank you for reading!  I'll take a break next week for mental health, then be back with our next story - White Rose steals the limelight again!

***

A dreary, storm-soaked week forced them indoors more than usual.  That wasn’t to say they couldn’t trudge out into the torrential downpour; they most certainly could, but certain people severely lacked the motivation.

Fortunately, Safehouse Five was one of the best-equipped locations to weather this literal storm.  With two levels, ten bedrooms, multiple living areas, and plenty of supplies, it was more than spacious enough to house them for an extended period.  Of course, even with the additional space they seemed to run into each other more often than not.

The only person impossible to find at all hours of the day, no matter how recently she was last spotted, was Ruby.  Somehow, she slipped off and vanished without warning.  Weiss could turn around for two seconds and lose track of her for an entire afternoon.

Yang often joked that they should just handcuff themselves together, and that suggestion sounded more enticing the longer Weiss walked laps around the house.  If not handcuffs, then maybe a tracking beacon of some sort.  Anything that made Ruby easier to find.

When excited voices caught her attention, Weiss wondered if Ruby had finally reappeared.  Another few steps crushed that hope, as she didn’t pick out Ruby’s happy, uplifting tone amongst the people talking in the upstairs living room.  Regardless, she peeked through the doorway to see what was going on.

“I’m telling you - it’ll work!”

Pyrrha and Jaune chuckled at Nora’s insistence while Ren mustered a patient smile.  Nora’s newest plan must have something to do with the map of Vale spread across the coffee table, which she’d spent the last few days poring over.  Weiss thought Nora was just coloring it in at first, only to discover that there was a method to her madness.  The red circles, lines, and arrows were the first clue that something bigger was afoot.  As were the words written across the top in large letters - “Hunt for the Great Zomboni.”

On any other day, Weiss would encourage Nora to pursue that quest with every bit of zealous, psychotic gusto she possessed, as well as any weapon in their arsenal.  The brunette bitch had been a thorn in Weiss’ side ever since the scene at the courthouse, and now went out of the way to flirt with Yang and Ruby whenever possible.

Thankfully, Weiss wasn’t the only one enraged at the zombie-savant, as Blake never stopped fuming over the unwelcome advances on ‘her’ turf.  Between the two of them, they might be annoyed enough where setting Nora loose sounded like an appropriate escalation.  Besides, Nora was already interested in pursuing Zomboni.  What harm would it be if she was secretly outfitted with a rocket launcher and granted access to fully-equipped military aircraft?

That was a thought for another day, since Weiss couldn’t even find Ruby at the moment.  So, without interrupting Nora’s plans, she turned around and headed downstairs.  Even though she literally just checked every room upstairs, she was only moderately convinced Ruby wasn’t up there.  There were many documented instances when she was positive certain locations were empty only to be shocked when Ruby magically turned up there later.  This could very well be one of them, but Weiss would check the rest of the house first.

Whispers caught her attention soon after she reached the entryway, leading her to the main living room on the lower level.  Though the corners of the room had been converted into temporary storage for a variety of scavenged odds and ends, the majority of the space still functioned as a cozy gathering place to sit and talk or watch one of the movies in their ever-expanding library.

Cuddled together on the sofa where Blake and Yang, who seemed to do nothing but cuddle ever since they became ‘official.’  If they weren’t being lovey-dovey with each other in the living room, they were stealing kisses in the kitchen, or making out in the hallways, or doing god-knows-what while sequestered in their bedroom.  At the moment, Blake whispered in Yang’s ear and casually twirled her finger in a long strand of blonde hair.  From the small smile on her lips, she was particularly pleased by what she had to say.  From the growing blush on Yang’s cheeks, Weiss had no desire to know what it might be.

She had no desire to bother them at all, actually, but if anyone knew where Ruby was, it would be Yang.  Her built-in Ruby-detector was uncannily good sometimes, much to Weiss’ chagrin.  Having known Ruby since the day she was born worked in Yang’s advantage though, and that was something Weiss couldn’t duplicate no matter her best efforts.  So, rather than sneak away to find Ruby on her own, she decided to bite the bullet.

“Have either of you seen Ruby?” she asked, taking one small step into the room.

“Last time I saw her, you were not-subtly feeling her up under the table while she ate.”

Yang narrowed her eyes at the accurate retelling of lunch, but Weiss rolled hers.  After trading away her older sister rights for a pair of motorcycles, Yang didn’t get to be upset by what Weiss did or didn’t do with Ruby.  The trade had worked out remarkably well for Weiss, who considered it a steal considering the bargaining chips at her disposal.  Yang still had no idea Xander was actually only one of ten identical trucks stashed around Vale, or that there was an even larger, more heavily fortified version waiting for them if things got out of hand.

“If you see her,” Weiss said rather than respond to Yang’s statement.  “Can you tell her I’m looking for her?”

“Sure.  I’ll tell her that her wife can’t survive another second without her.”

The hyperbole felt truer with each passing minute.  The world was capable of awful things - even more so these days - and Weiss wouldn't let Ruby fall victim to even a shred of that cruelty.  If she admitted that out loud though, Yang would call her overprotective.  Instead, she responded with a polite smile and, “Thank you.”

“No problem.”  No sooner had Weiss turned to leave, however, did Yang’s gaze shoot back to her.  “Wait.”

With an obligatory sigh, Weiss paused in the doorway and watched Yang’s brow furrow.

“Do you feel like something’s...off?”

Weiss scoffed at the question, but Blake sent her a knowing and possibly annoyed look.  Of course, the last thing Blake wanted was something interrupting her alone time with Yang, which she coveted nearly as much as Weiss coveted time with Ruby.  Blake’s desire to be with Yang also kept Yang out of Weiss’ hair, so Weiss did everything in her power to foster the codependent relationship.

“Sounds like a personal problem,” she quipped before leaving without another word.  Blake would pacify Yang’s never-ending need for attention now, which she did willingly no matter how ridiculous Yang’s needs were.

Letting Blake tag along in the apocalypse had turned out to be one of the best decisions Weiss ever made.  In the days leading up to the outbreak, she’d fretted over what to do with Yang, knowing Ruby loved her but also that she could be a huge pain in the ass.  Enter Blake - the mysterious girl who showed up at just the right time and miraculously found Yang’s demeanor endearing.  Weiss didn’t question it; she was just grateful for Blake’s presence.

She would also be grateful for Ruby’s presence right about now, but the girl continued to elude her.  Not upstairs, not in the living room - intuition led her to the kitchen next.

As soon as she walked through the doorway and found the fooligans stuffing cookies into their mouths, she frowned.  Just seeing them was usually enough to make her frown, but catching them stealing cookies was worse.  Every cookie in this house - and in the city, as far as she was concerned - belonged to Ruby.

“What’re you doing?” she asked before assuming the worst.  “Weren’t you supposed to leave?”

“Yeah,” the blonde-haired, abs boy said while the blue-haired, goggle-wearing idiot nodded and stuck another cookie into his mouth.  “But Ruby said we could eat first!”

“Of course she did…” Weiss muttered before throwing on a patient smile.  Ruby considered these two fools to be friends, so Weiss could at least be tolerant.  “Fine.  You can stay if you can tell me where she is.”

“You don’t know where she is?”

“Of course I do,” she replied with a scoff and dismissive wave.  “I want to know if you know where she is.”

“A test of our detective skills...” goggles boy mused while tapping his chin.  “Well, she’s not here.”  After looking around the kitchen to make sure that was true, he pursed his lips and furrowed his brow.  “So she must be...somewhere else.”

When Weiss opened her mouth to point out the idiocy of that statement, slightly-less-stupid blonde boy butted in.

“But she mentioned going downstairs!  Something about a...something something.”

“‘Something about a something something?’” Weiss repeated before shaking her head.  Most of the time, communicating with the child detectives was pointless, but today they gave her an actual lead.  “At least one of you is almost useful,” she added before snatching the package of cookies and walking away.

“Hear that,” one of them whispered behind her back.  “She said I’m useful.”

“She said I’m useful,” the other one argued.

Rolling her eyes at the constant squabbling, she headed towards the last place she would have checked - the basement.  Ruby had mentioned being tired, which was why Weiss checked the bedrooms first (not because she wanted to partake in any bedroom activities or anything like that…).  But if inspiration struck, as it so randomly did with Ruby, then it made sense she escaped to her lair.  And by ‘lair,’ Weiss meant the well-lit, clean, unofficial-yet-official laboratory in the basement.

“Ruby?” she called out while approaching the bottom of the stairs.

“In here!”

Smiling at Ruby’s voice, Weiss hurried down the last few steps and finally found the person she’d been searching for.  Ruby sat on one of those little round stools she liked so much - the kind that swiveled when she turned so she could keep moving even while sitting.  Her short brown hair was a ruffled mess, a pencil had been stuck behind one ear, and she’d started chewing her nails again, but Weiss’ heart still swelled upon seeing her.

“Brought you something.”

When Weiss held out the partially-eaten pack of cookies, Ruby’s gorgeous silver eyes went wide as saucers.

“You’re the best, Weiss!”

That compliment was everything Weiss needed right now.  Well, that and the kiss Ruby pressed to her cheek before grabbing a cookie.

“Did you tell those ruffians they could stay and eat?” she asked while Ruby finished the first cookie in record time and grabbed another.

“No.  Why?”

“No reason…” Weiss sighed in response.  Unfortunately, that answer meant the bonded morons had discovered her weakness and were already using it against her.  If she had time later today, she would be annoyed by that.  Right now, Ruby’s presence made it difficult to feel anything but the light, fluttery feeling that had drawn her to the girl in the first place.

“What’re you working on?” she asked while wrapping her arm around Ruby’s waist and snuggling closer.  With the package of cookies still in hand, Ruby wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon - the perfect lure that worked far more often than not.

“Just trying out a few things.”  Another cookie disappeared before Ruby seemed satisfied with the snack, and only then did she motion Weiss over to one of the counters.  “Take a look at what I did!”

When Ruby gestured to the microscope, Weiss gave her a curious glance before doing as instructed.  Her eyes took several seconds to adjust to the light, and a few moments longer for her to understand what she was even looking at.  Once the realization sunk in, however, she sent Ruby a surprised glance before refocusing the lens.

The cells on the slide were nothing new to her, but the reaction some of them were experiencing right now was.  After watching for several seconds, she leaned away and shook her head.

“You...healed them.”

“I regenerated them,” Ruby restated before showing Weiss a scribble-covered notebook.  “On a small scale, but with more time maybe it could be useful.  I just need your help with the more technical stuff.”

This wasn’t at all what Weiss expected upon finding Ruby today, but that was Ruby in a nutshell: an indescribably, unbelievably amazing surprise.  She’d been that way on the day they met - the chance occurrence that changed the course of Weiss’ life - and she continued to be to this day.

“You’re incredible,” Weiss said, kissing Ruby before looking in the microscope one more time.

“Naw.  I just used your old notebooks and guessed a lot.”

Amazing, talented, and humble.  Those three qualities led Weiss to fall in love hard and fast, and that love convinced her to spare no efforts preparing Ruby for this future.  Now, Ruby’s intellect and ingenuity, combined with a bit of Weiss’ background knowledge, would lead them out of this nightmare.

“You know what?” she asked while leaning into Ruby’s side and kissing her cheek.

“What?”

“Yang would argue otherwise…”  Gently turning Ruby’s chin towards her so their gazes locked, Weiss smiled and felt her heart swell with love and adoration.  “But you’re the hero of this story.”

No sooner had Weiss pressed her lips to Ruby’s did the basement door slam open and heavy footsteps stomp downstairs.

“What the hell, Weiss??”

Already knowing where this was going, Weiss leaned away from Ruby and sighed.  So much for enjoying Ruby’s miracle in a little privacy...no, Yang barged in on the moment, as usual.  And Blake trailed right behind, looking more than a little perturbed that her one-on-one time got interrupted by something so trivial.

“What is it, Yang?” Weiss asked as courteously as possible, but Yang scoffed and crossed her arms.

“Don’t act all innocent.  You can’t just steal perspective!”

“Sure, I can.  It’s my story.”

“Says who??”

“Says me.”

Ruby and the Zombie Slayers
(As told by Weiss Schnee)