Pre-Tour Panic! With No Discos. (Patreon)

I always find it difficult when people ask me “are you excited for tour?” Because I don’t know how to respond. I usually go with “yeah of course” but if I’m being honest, I’m nervous, a tad scared, and carrying a headache-worthy amount of anxiety.

The list is endless but here is a nice list of worries that wrack my brain before heading out on tour:

1. What if I get sick?
2. How do I pack?
3. Will everyone get along?
4. Will my voice hold out?
5. Have we sold enough tickets?
6. What's the accommodation going to be like?
7. What if we get stopped at the border again?
8. Have we filled out the carnet correctly?
9. What if the van gets broken into?
10. What if our gear breaks?

Would I change any of it? No.

Do I need to chill the f**k out? Yes. (But guys, learning that I can't plan for every eventuality is going to take a long time.)

The biggest worry - the main one. What if I get sick? I have the weakest immune system and colds can take me out for weeks. I’m the front woman, my voice is my instrument, and one of the first things to show signs of weakening if anything starts going wrong, not to mention it’s also affected by literally everything - and I mean everything.

Lack of sleep, bad food, and germs is a big reason touring musicians get sick. We’re working on odd schedules and constantly travelling. Who really feels well-rested after a long journey anywhere? When we travel around Europe, the venues will usually provide us with accommodation (amazing), and the accommodation usually isn’t great (less amazing). So by the time we have finished a show, packed up, got to the place, showered, we will maybe get 6 hours of sleep before we have to get up and go. This then leads us to food. Every touring musician I have ever spoken to says the exact same thing, “the shows are fun but the food sucks'' You simply cannot healthily survive on fast food but most of the time that’s ALL there is. And finally we look at germs. Every year when the university students go back for freshers week, there's a whole new round of freshers flu, because so many new people suddenly convene in the same vicinity. We meet 100’s of people every night, and so the same thing happens on tours within the touring crew, if one member goes down, you’re all going down!

Touring crew. I say this time and time again, the people you take on a tour are essential to your happiness and good vibes. The general rule to follow is “don’t be a d**k” - in camp ADF, we generally are very good at reading each other's moods and knowing when the team needs a pick me up or some peace and quiet, but the horror stories I hear from other bands will forever haunt me and once again add to my list of worries.

The next thing I want to talk about is packing. My head hurts thinking about packing. Clothes alone is a thing in itself, for our upcoming tour I need 21 stage outfits, alongside my casual/travel clothes, pajamas, etc. (A big shout out to any venue that caters us with a washer/dryer.) Everyday I beg my bandmates for a tourdrobe, but until I’m getting paid as much as Hayley Williams, that's a long way away. Then we have our essential packing, so for me that’s makeup, hair stuff, mirror, vocal steamer, vitamins/medication, a kettle/mug/spoon. You would be surprised by the amount of venues we go to that either do not have a kettle, or if they do, it’s in questionable shape. We once played at a venue where someone had urinated in the kettle. Nice. Either way, I do not trust kettles anymore for obvious reasons.

The above is just me waffling about personal belongings, what about the things it takes to actually put on a show for you guys; Music gear? Lights? Merch? Honestly it all just makes me want to hide in a blanket and have a depression nap. Talking of depression naps, let’s discuss possibly the worst thing that can happen to a band like us at any point ever. What if we get broken into? It’s simple - the tour is over. There is no feasible way we can play a show if our gear gets stolen, we can sure as hell try, but it’s going to impact at least 1 show. Which then leads us to re-schedules, refunds, and the inevitable sheer look of disappointment we will receive from all our fans.

I’m not going to go into every single listed worry as I’m sure you don’t want to hear about carnet stamps, industry pressures, and border control. By the end, I’m very sure I would have successfully made all of you as anxious as myself. I’m very aware that from an outsider's perspective, touring looks great, and of course I see the incredible opportunities it brings too, but it’s hard, it’s tough, and it’s definitely not for everyone.

I was going to finish this here, but my “co-editor” (Ande, a.k.a the happiest person alive, a.k.a lil ray of sunshine, a.k.a actual golden retriever in human form) has demanded I write a happy ending. So here it is…

… That hour I spend on stage doing what I do best makes ALL of it worth it. I don’t care that before the tour I’m in this state, because I know that I’m only going to look back at this time with positivity, this will be (excuse the cheese) a highlight of my life. Creating, performing, and sharing music is what I do best, and I am so grateful that I get to do the thing I love, as it’s simply not an easy feat for most people. I may grumble and complain a little along the way, but never for a second have I doubted that this is where I’m supposed to be.

Until next time squad✌️