Saitama's Level Up Chapter 1 (Patreon)

One Punch Man parody: Tier 1

Saitama’s Level Up
Saitama is depressed, he didn’t get the job he was going for and things just weren’t working out for him. Weird phenomenon happen in this world all the time, so after meeting a strange crab man he finds a phone. He gets a call from an administrator for the world that has a job for him, a deal to turn his life around. Saitama accepts and begins to level up.

Chapter 1 A Call to Change Your Life

Saitama was walking home to his crappy apartment after failing to get the job he wanted. Things felt so hopeless and bleak, even when a monster showed up, he saw in his eyes were cold and lifeless. Saitama hadn’t shown any fear or shock at seeing the big red crab man, if it had killed him or let him go, nothing mattered…

In this world strange phenomenon began happening more and more, Saitama had seen news reports of monsters showing up and causing trouble. It didn’t effect him...it didn’t bother him...nothing seemed to matter…

Saitama was sinking further and further into darkness, if something didn’t happen soon he’d end up becoming a monster.

Click Clack

“Huh?” A phone appeared in front of him.

“Ring Ring Ring...Ring Ring Ring...phone call...phone call!”

“What kind of weird ring tone is that? Did someone lose their phone?” He could have just walked away, but he felt the right thing to do was pick it up and turn it into a police station.

The phone continued to ring but Saitama didn’t answer the phone, it didn’t feel right to answer a stranger’s phone. ‘Maybe it’s the owner trying to find it...nah...better let the police handle it.’

Ping!

A text appeared on the screen, and it made the man’s eyes go wide. “Answer the phone Saitama”

‘What the hell?!’

“Ring ring ring...ring ring ring...phone call...phone call…” Click!

“Hello hello?”

“Hi there Saitama-chan, so glad you finally picked up. I was worried.” Saitama looked around.

‘Am I being watched? Is someone spying on me?’ He didn’t see anyone. “Are you the owner of this phone?”

“Mmm, the correct way would be to say I’m the maker of this phone. Now that you’ve answered the phone is yours!”

“Huh?” His jaw dropped. “This is a scam right, this has got to be.” The phone was super fancy, some kind of futuristic smart phone with a touch screen.

“This is no scam Saitama.”

“How do you know my name? Who are you?”

“I am an Administrator, you may call me Admin.” The voice said. “I know your name is because I’ve had my eye on you for a long time, and I think you are perfect for this job I have.”

“Administrator of what?”

“Of this world!”

“I’m hanging up!”

“Wait wait wait!” He held the phone back up to his ear. “I can prove it!”

“How?”

“You ever have that dream where you show up to school or a meeting and you forgot your pants or your clothes?”

Saitama rolled his eyes. “Yeah, everyone has that dream at some point it doesn’t prove…” Ping!

In a flash all of Saitama’s clothes were gone. “What? How? Hey!” He covered himself.

“Believe me now?”

“Fine yes, I believe you, just give me back my clothes!” Ping! In a flash he was back in his suit. “How did you do that?”

“As administrator for this world, I have the ability to manipulate reality, fate, and so on.”

“And you are offering me a job? Why me?”

“Because you are you.” That didn’t explain anything. “Saitama, your world is changing and not for the better, weird things are gonna happen, ancient powers will awaken, forces beyond the stars will make trouble, humans will fall to darkness and become monsters.”

“Is that because of you.”

“No, and sadly I can’t stop it.”

“If you’re the admin and have all this power why can’t you stop it? If you aren’t doing it who is?”

“This is because of God.” Saitama made an annoyed face, he wasn’t a religious man. “I am the Admin of this universe, my powers are as thus limited to this universe, God’s power extends across the multiverse. For eons he’s been at rest, and all life has been allowed to take it’s course. But lately there are signs of him waking up.”

“And that’s bad?”

“Yes, if God awakens it’ll mean the end of days, life will end and all that is will be undone.”

“THEN HOW THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING?” Saitama felt like freaking out. “What are you expecting me to kill god or something?”

“No, I want you to become a hero.”

“A hero?”

“Yes, frankly I don’t know in which universe God will manifest, but his awakening brings disasters and chaos. In the past myself and the other admins have been able to keep him at rest, but something is wrong the other admins are acting strange. Saitama I need a hero, an agent who can help weather the storm that is to come.” The phone screen lit up. “If you accept, you’ll be granted unique powers and abilities granted by the Administrator system. You’ll be able to surpass your limits and level up.”

It actually sounded fun to Saitama, like living in a video game. When he was a kid he always wanted to be a hero. On the screen he saw a tutorial, when he leveled up he’d gain ability points which he could put into his stats to enhance his abilities, he’d be given daily quests to perform which will get him skill points upon completion which he could use to buy skills. “For defeating those that threaten the world, of course you will be given money as you would any job.”

“I’m in!” He paused. “But I gotta ask with your powers can’t you just deal with the chaos?”

“If I use my powers to go against God, I could hasten his awakening. Be warned those that crave power and destruction will be drawn closer to him, he will offer them power seemingly for free, but the price will be their very souls. The closer they get to God the more likely he can control them and use them as his soldiers.”

“But this job of mine it’s gonna give me super powers? What about the others, am I after anyone with powers?”

“Not exactly, my system has been helping humanity grow and thrive, there are those who are driven and they get rewarded by the system. It is a phenomenon called breaking the limiter. God’s influence is causing anomalies not recognized by the system. If they are a threat or not, that will be up to you, as my agent I’m leaving the fate of the world in your hands. If you run into trouble you can use the system to help guide you, and if you feel stuck and don’t know what to do I’m merely a phone call away.”

Admin explained he was giving Saitama a chance, a job, if he completed his tasks he’d be rewarded, if he failed there would be a penalty. All things come with a price. This offer wasn’t too good to be true Saitama would only benefit from the system if he tried. If he didn’t...things would not go well for him.

“I see…” It really does feel like a video game. “How do you know I won’t side with this God guy?”

“Because you are you.” Saitama blushed. “Saitama...you are not that kind of man. If you wish to save people do so, but always understand you can’t save everyone. There will be times you will have to fight and the system will help you get stronger. You will be in charge of your fate. This job is yours Saitama, become the kind of hero you want to be, that’s all I ask.” The call ended.

Ping! “Do you accept the job as the Hero...Yes?...No?”

Saitama clicked yes, and his eyes lit up feeling a strange change happen inside him. ‘What was that?’

“Ahhhh!” He heard a boy scream.

‘That’s right that crab man was looking for a kid who messed with him while he was asleep.’ Saitama raced off and found the boy with a weird chin. The crab man destroyed his ball and now was gonna kill him. “Hey stop it!”

“Oh it’s you again, don’t try to stop me, I’m gonna kill this kid for what he did to me.”

“Look can’t we talk about this, it’s just some marker marks, I can help you clean them off, what do you say, can’t we call this whole killing business off?” The crab man seemed to think about it, before getting a twisted look on his face.

“No way!” He swung at Saitama, only for the dark haired man to dodge and a bench got destroyed.

His phone pinged. Notice: An Anomaly Threat has been detected, Special Quest Activated. Win Condition Defeat the Crab Man, Lose Condition; Kid or Hero Dies. Saitama accepted the quest.

He tried to fight the crab but he didn’t seem that effective. ‘Fuck...how am I supposed to beat a monster like that…’

“If you wanna try playing hero then you’ll die like one.” He raised his claw.

Saitama undid his tie and jumped at the monster, pulling off a sick maneuver that landed and he managed to kill the crab man. Ping!

Quest completed, you have leveled up. You are now Level 2, you have 4 Ability Points and 4 Skill Points. For defeating an anomaly 250,000 has been deposited into your bank account.

Saitama’s eyes bulged at the amount of money he had received. ‘No freaking way!’ He was so shocked he ran off leaving the kid stunned and amazed. Saitama didn’t know it but he set the ball in motion for the Hero Association to be created.

He rushed to an ATM and checked his account sure enough the money was there. “Holy crap!”

Notice: Daily Quest is Available. 100 Push Ups, 100 Sit Ups, 100 Squats, and a 10km run. Failure to complete Daily Quests in 24 hours will result in a penalty.

Saitama could feel his passion surging, he could do this, he wanted to do this. “Let’s do this!”

To be continued...The strongest Hero?