Death Stranding - Kaijou Guy-jou (Patreon)

We're getting into the endgame here so the weird silly stuff is gonna start multiplying rapidly in both frequency and power. In this one the goo man turns into a giant goo man with a big gooey swinging dong. It's actually a goo umbilical cord but calling it his dong is funnier, trust me i'm a highly trained expert. I studied infinite jest at Fooliard, the concept not the book. That means I can craft jokes forever, many of which will be funny, probably.

My cat's bothering me so this will not be a long post. If you had a cat you'd understand. They are impossibly annoying creatures. But endearing, which is more than i can say for man's other worthless companion species, the "doggos". Those filthy fucking mongrel mutts. I saw the dumbest goddamn dog the other night.

I went outside last night around 2:00 am, which is the only time it's safe to take the garbage out without my nosy cunt neighbor seeing me, so i thought the coast was clear. But instead of that barking bitch there was a dog. It was this stupidly grinning pitbull. I mean it looked really stupid. Totally vacant too. Just sitting there, staring straight ahead, as is looking beyond me into the night.

I cautiously approached the collarless vagrant as he continued to stare through me with an expression which was not at all unfriendly but perhaps dangerously senile. I spent some time befriending the lowly creature, because i am a kind person with a spiritual connection to all animals, even brainless baby-killers like this ownerless pit, who probably once lived with a lovely couple before getting kicked out for mistaking the cradle for a buffet table.

I gave the idiot some water, and then got the hell back inside before any hideous bastard humans could wander out of their homes and start talking at me. Humans Bad, dogs bad, and cats bad too. That was the point. This piece of shit won't get off my fucking lap and i don't wanna sit here and try to goddamn type like this but here i am. I said this wouldn't be long but here were are. Okay now she's climbing up on the back of the chair and i'm getting pissed off. This post is over i have a package to Abu Dhabi to mail.