Death Stranding: Two Dudes on a Nudie Beach (Patreon)

I'm listening back to this to remember what the hell funny things i said but my speakers are blown out so i've basically just been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to decipher a wall of tin can robot noise. 

The only thing i've been able to decipher is a half second editing mistake that i felt compelled to fix so i had to re-render this whole stupid thing which was slightly annoying and threw my whole week off somehow. Ugh. This is why you should never watch your own content back. Just barf it up and leave it for whoever's hungry.

Technically you already got a Death Stranding video this month but this series has been going on forever and i want to get through it so i can start posting a new one. So   it's double death stranding or else by the time it's done im gonna have to start playing the director's cut and nobody wants that, including me. 

This should be a fun one because it's mostly cutscenes. Amelie is hot and Higgs is hilarious. I wish i lived in this world. It would be so much simpler. Just going around making deliveries and getting in fights. Real fights with real people in the real world, sounds like paradise compared to this virtual freak show.

I should leave the whole god forsaken internet wasteland behind and be a full time door dasher. Maybe after enough bar brawl victories and S ranks i'll work my way up to amazon driver and then big muther trucker. Surely that's how it works, unless video games have lied to me all this time, but i don't wanna believe that because video games are the only people i still trust. 

Maybe one day i'll have the courage to let it all die but for now you still get to enjoy choking on the tasty comedy fumes i'm running on. I'm trapped in an endless nightmare but at least i can still sit in the dark at 3:00 am and say funny things at the video game screen. Truly the noblest of pursuits for I, the fake internet version of a broken man who lives for you. Hey, i'll come down from this cross just as soon as people stop nailing me to em. It's getting old and so am I.