God Of War Ragnarok Part 2: The Milk Machine (Patreon)

What a terrible night to have a curse, by which i mean any night, and the curse is a curse of middling modern loot-collecting puzzle-pissing menu-munching crap-ass game design. 

I beat this overhyped pile a month ago and it still gets to piss me off in perpetuity because i'll now be forever editing and re-watching the countless hours of lets play footage. For you at least it's a form of entertainment, because you get to hear my viciously disgruntled complaining and witness another of my wacky mental descents, but for me it's just the internal monologue i live with every day.

I've been having fun getting to all the new requests from the high-tier patrons but i still have to make time for the terrible lows of this mid-tier game. The blue Glow has become like the cabin that Burns and Homer got snowed-in together that one time, There's an avalanche of shitty games crashing down upon me faster than i can tunnel out of it. 

If only i could stop playing video games forever, but they just keep making new ones for me to hate, and i keep loving the old ones. I don't what's worse, the good games where i have too much fun or the bad ones where i become too goddamn funny. At least once i get all these stupid God of Wars out i'll be able to make something valuable out of it all, like a 40 hour documentary of a man losing his mind and becoming something more, something greater, a motherfucking milk machine.

Except that happens right away, here in episode 2. Yes, it's only episode 2 and i've already gotten so annoyed that my brain has broken down and Kratos now believes himself to be the vengeful god of breast milk or something. I don't even know what the hell a milk machine is, except that it's apparently quite powerful. 

What the hell am i even writing here? Video games sicken me. Especially crappy ones. I'm craptose intolerant. So screw you and your rock-hard leaky nipples, Kratos. This milk is rotten and the machine is defective. HEE-HAW!