Let's Get Tormented (Patreon)

It's Halloween. I'm too poor for a costume, too old for candy, i don't know anyone to party with, and i'm more afraid of death, regrets, mysterious body pains, and social media than any ghosty-ghoul or entity. The only demons that frighten me anymore are the ones in my head, and the spookiest night of the year means nothing special to me anymore because my soul is tormented all year round.

All i have left in this world is you little whipper-shits knocking on my door for sweet sugary content. Well hold out those pillow sacks and plastic pumpkin buckets cause i'm passing out full sized treats this year. I've got so many scary videos for you to pee-pee your poopy-pants over it might just run into November as well, and you better run, cause your gonna have the runs. 

Don't even come to my doorstep if you're not prepared to enter the true survival horror. This spine-chilling, hair-raising, ass-blasting edition of the BOO Glow is just a taste of the terrifying treats that await. Tonight's first hoary horror story is Tormented Souls, an unholy Frankenstein of leftover Silent Hill and Resident Evil parts from the 90s. 

Behold a modern throwback to a spookier, clunkier time! What it lacks in originality it makes up for in crappy puzzles, aaaaahhhhh! Anything but that! Modern handholding in video games has rendered my brain-meat all soft and moronic. My puzzler was sore before the game began. 

It's too late to run home screaming, you'll just get lost in the all-pervasive darkness of this cursed game, blanketing the path before you like an abyssal void. You might as well remove your eyeballs with an ice cream scoop because with or without them the only twists and turns you're gonna see coming are the one's in the story. 

I wish i had some candy corn to snack on while i snack on the corny dialogue. Now I'm on a role, carving up this game like a pumpkin. Savage criticism, brutal, vicious, and gory. It's not even really that bad. Or is it? Maybe it's good. What the Hell do I know? I'm only the man who played it. 

You'll just have to listen to me complaining about it and make up your own mind whether you believe me or not. That's what i like about having opinions, i don't always have to agree with me. That's the trick. Here's the treat. House of The Dragon was ruined by feet.