Death Stranding: Crime and Punishment (Patreon)

Okay baby i'm all drugged up and ready to sink into beautiful darkness. Before i do please enjoy this miserable continuation of the worst thing that ever happened, aka the time i played Death Stranding a lot. 

This whole episode is just me getting pissed off, and not in a fun silly way. Just torturously annoyed and bordering on shitting myself from sheer torment. This goes on for a while. Like, a long while. Death Stranding is not a game one plays to enjoy oneself. Yuko's Island Express is. But this is the former, not the latter, and if you wanna talk about ladders, oh just you wait for the upcoming ladder episode. 

This might be a fun time if you're one of those that misses just hearing me get pissed off and rant angrily. I mastered the art of being angry on the internet long ago to such a degree that it got old for me, but i assure you the fire still burns. Personally i'd rather listen to myself enjoying something so i'm gonna go play more Yuko's Island Express. 

Sooner or later one of these Death Stranding videos is bound to include some of what i actually like about the game. I feel like the game is gaslighting me because my mind keeps insisting i enjoyed it, but every time i go back and watch me playing it i find only a chronicle of myself clearly devolving into a state of frothing animalistic lunacy over it's many cursed flaws.  

I will say this in the game's defense, everything that transpires in these videos is, as the title of this episode suggests, literally my own stupid fault. If it be my fate to go down as the Raskolnikov of gaming, well frankly i find that hysterical and totally rad. Sometimes you have to say something out loud to realize how cool it is. I began this post vaguely ashamed of my foolish folly and agitated demeanor, but i end it beaming with pride over my dope literary self-ownage.