Jess Vs. Food 3: Kroger Mcdonald (Patreon)

You might wanna turn the volume down a bit before clicking on this one. 

Here's episode 3 of my horrible adventures trying to find sustenance in the concrete jungle of Man's hectic world. Let's hope to God this ends here and remains a trilogy because i shudder to think what happens if my insane babbling lunacy becomes any more powerful/pissed off. I'm like the Hulk, except legally distinct because i don't get angry, i get pissed off, which is totally different. 

Attempting to prepare you for what you're about to hear would be feeble and futile. Just dive in and hear the shrieking, harrowing account of horror for yourself. But be warned, herein lies a tale of woe and sputtering madness unlike any other. This story requires both kinds of trigger warnings, the secondhand anxiety kind, and the "if this man finds a gun the elite will surely fall" kind. 

Basically It's just another silly podcast where i yell and scream to amuse myself. Hopefully you'll be amused too because otherwise i suffered and survived these tragic trials of terror for nothing. The worst part of surviving is you have to keep doing it. 

Just thinking of reliving this vile ordeal sends shivers up my spine and shit down my sphincter. Remembering it at all threatens to make me cry, make me die, or worst of all make me yell and scream some more, which isn't good because I've been ordered by the men in white suits to do my yelling and screaming in strict moderation. Otherwise it's back to the Funny Farm for me. You know, on account of I'm so darn funny. Dangerously so. This paragraph is not a good example, it sucks and I'm abandoning it. 

In fact, I'm done with this whole post, it didn't need this many paragraphs in the first place, the video speaks for itself. Yells and screams for itself too. 

God, I love yelling and screaming.