This Mayor Sucks (Patreon)

Just look at this guy, look at him and his stupid beard shitting up my Final Fantasy 7. This is the thrilling conclusion to me finishing up those post-game errands. As you can see i had to go all the way back through the damn Shinra building, now featuring the goddamn mayor from Powerpuff Girls for some unknowable, asinine, anime reason, just to get Barret's stupid final gun that i accidentally missed the first time because i was too busy remembering how much cooler this all was when the graphics looked like frozen play-do and the music came through on a tin can. 

Those were the days. Back when things made sense. I remember it like was yesterday... Do-Do-Do, Do Do-Do-Do, Do-Do-Do, Do Do-Do-Do (that's Semi-Charmed Life by Third Eye Blind, it's what people my age hear when we reminisce about the old days).

In addition to getting mad at the mayor and his entire offensive existence, this video also features some positively riveting menu management, and some cool Hojo being deliciously creepy. After that i do some battles in the Technodrome, and then the stream fucks up 100 times as it loves to do, and then i get mad and quit forever, except it's not really quitting because by that point i had already finished my errands and so therefore never have to look at this stinky remake ever again, except i'm sure i will for some reason or another because time is a flat circle and life is a meaningless vortex of suffering from which the only permanent escape is complete Gnostic reawakening and even though i'm a lot closer to that plateau of understanding than most, i'm still not close enough to stop playing shitty games or even remember what this incredibly long, unbroken run-on sentence was about when i started it, let alone where my eternal soul dwelled before i chose to be reincarnated into this particular Sisyphean endeavor. I'm sure i'll get it, i just have to wait 13 years for the next Tool album to tell me. 

Anyways that does it for this 'post-game" series. Somewhere in the twisting labyrinthine bowels of this dying laptop i have my actual first time play-through recording of the remake in it's entirety, which actually features me being surprised and reacting to stuff, which i'm sure is far more interesting than this, but i have to find it first and then slap it all together in some editing software or another that i don't currently have access to. So look forward to seeing that in 7 years. 

There's also a full Last of Us 2 play-through on here somewhere. But a lot of that one came out weird and corrupted and again, me am live in hollowed out tree trunk and no can edit on dumb steve jobs machine. Me caveman. Here video. You watch while me collect acorns for winter.