Nobody Is Ready For Farming Simulator (Patreon)

This is a Farming Simulator 2019, which for some ungodly reason was released as the free psn club game for May. That thumbnail alone should give you an idea of what we're dealing with here, but trust me, nothing can truly prepare you for the Pandora's Box that is this unholy simulation. 

What would you imagine a game called Farming Simulator to be like? An optimist would say something akin to Harvest Moon, or even a sort of sort of top down God-game in the vein of sim city. Or if you're a tad more cynical you might reasonably expect a bunch of boring, complicated micromanagement. 

But oh, sweet, naive summer child. All of those things would certainly make sense, but today, expecting things to make sense was a tragic mistake.

What if i told you that upon booting up Farming Simulator 19, you are instead thrust into an open world, from the first-person viewpoint of a flannel-shirt wearing skyrim protagonist, to explore an entire township, on foot or by truck, in search of... like... missions or something?

Normally i cut these livestreams into highlights, but i don't dare look at this one again, any more than i would make a second attempt to solve the lament configuration.  I assure you, i remember it providing laughter all the way through, it is a trauma i could not forget if i tried. For the laughter i speak of is the kind of cackling mania one hears from the damned and twisted souls locked away in asylums, such lunacy as can can only be imagined in the most hellish of nightmares. 

In a perfect world, games like Farming Simulator 19 would not exist, but this is not a perfect world.