The Hunt for Dudu (Patreon)

This game straight up has a character in it named Dudu. I'm not pulling your leg here, they dead ass thought they could get away with putting a guy named Dudu in this epic quest. This is the Witcher 3, man. This is an epic adventure, a bardic tale for the ages. But every so often a character says "where's Dudu?" and I laugh. Good times. 

It's like, i wanna say to him, "hey DUDU, did you know that your name means crap and poop?"

Cause like, maybe he doesn't know. Why else would you do it? Why would you call yourself Dudu? What is this man's story? What led him to these choices? I wish i cared. But i don't. I'm too cool to care. No, damn it that's not true. I care. I care a lot. I care about Dudu. Well played, Witcher 3. Well played. 

Whatever. Point is, i've cracked the code of the perfect lets play method, and it only took me 11 years. Narration in post, my friends. It's my best friend and my salvation. I can enjoy playing the game without having to talk at people, no stress, no annoying livestream chat distracting me with their idiotic memes and teenybopper autism, just me and my games like in the good old days. 

Then i just record the audio later, in the relative comfort of my work station with my good microphone, and if i screw something up i can even do some editing to fix it. But i won't. I don't got time for that shit or any shit anymore so my new thing is i'm Mr. One Take. I do all these in one take no matter what. It doesn't matter what horrible, insane, evil shit comes out of my rant hole, i just keep going like a pain train comin through chugga chugga choo choo. Unless I'm lying. I haven't decided yet if i'm lying. 

Hey, have i thanked you fine folk for your time lately? I know i try to remember to thank you for your precious coin every once in a while, but your time is just as valuable. I'm often conflicted about whether you'd prefer short videos or long ones. When it comes to edited videos i try to be as concise as possible and get to the fucking point. But since humble commentary videos like this one are easier to make i try to make them longer. 

This one's an hour long. I know what you're thinking. "But what if it sucks?" I don't want you to invest an hour if it's gonna suck. So don't worry. I'll have you know that this entire post i'm writing here is just an elaborate way for me to stall and listen to the video back myself, to make sure it's sufficiently entertaining and doesn't suck shit. Quality control is vital. 

...Yep, it's hilarious. By god i've done it again. 

Very important topics discussed in this video include 

"there's too much stuff in the fridge"

"Raichu is cool"

"Ponytails are cooler than man buns"

...and other vital information of that nature. 

Enjoy my words of wisdom, and occasional lapses into enraged backseat gaming of myself. I run, i fight, i hop fences, i swim, i sail, i sniff, i snoop, lookin for a man who is named after poop.

I can't believe there's a guy in this game called Dudu.