Tactical Norman Reedus Action. (Patreon)

Here's me bumbling and fumbling my way through the agonizing first part of Death Stranding. Yeah, this is one of those kind of games. One of those "gets really good ten hours in" kinda games. At least that's what people say. My experience with the game has been more like a constantly flip flopping drug trip between the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. 

For the record, yes, it does get good 10 hours in. But it just so happens that 10 hours is the maximum time a person of my advanced age and declining mental faculties is able to commit to a single game. So just as it started getting good, i started having better things to do. 

I'm putting together a more scripted video on this game, but that may or may not involve having to actually beat it first, so in the meantime enjoy me being cool, hilarious, incredulous, confused, and increasingly gay all at once in this mystery science theatre quip fest. 

Be warned however that from 24:20 - 30:20 the audio completely cuts out, which was not my doing. This is a result of some idiotic twitch copyright id shit muting that part of the video because of a copyrighted song that plays in the fucking game. 

Oh gosh, i'm sorry masters. So sorry for playing a game that features a fucking soundtrack. What the ass is this world coming to? Every day it just gets stupider. And stupider. There's no hope. Pretty soon we won't be playing a Death Stranding, we'll be living it. Whatever that means.

Such a waste. History will never know how hilarious and cool i was in those 6 missing minutes. My fury is rumbling with the cataclysmic intensity of an active volcano. So yeah, skip that part.