Steven Universe Video - A Deeply Sardonic Lament of Exhausted Rage (Patreon)

This blog took a couple of days because by accident of passion, it originally turned out to be a 100 page manifesto about how youtube is the cancer rotting society and must be destroyed. I've arranged to have it released posthumously upon my inevitable fiery martyrdom.

Here’s a video about a group of people who i don’t respect and whose lives are worthless. Youtubers, the Beach City townsfolk of real life. 

The video is also about Steven Universe, i guess. Sort of. If you don’t agree with the “criticisms” of Steven Universe presented in this video, don’t worry. I don’t agree with me either. At least not completely.

To clarify, I do think Steven Universe has gotten frustrating and tedious to keep up with, thanks to the erratic schedule. When you have to wait any random number of months before “Steven Bombs” only to find said block of new material primarily dominated by b-stories about Ronaldo and Mayor Dewey, it’s easy to lose faith in the stalled momentum of the series.

It's understandable to interpret the problem as a show that once excelled at world building beginning to buckle under the weight of it’s own universe. But on closer inspection it probably wouldn’t feel that way if only it aired reliably, once a week like a normal show on a normal network. I was a huge fan of the show when it started and still am, but it’s getting harder to hold on to that excitement the more the show gets sidetracked and tossed around in sporadic chunks. 

The complaints about the animation and characters being off-model is a valid criticism, but not one that i would have noticed or cared about had it not been repeated by everyone over and over. To me it comes off as a nitpick. If it bothers you, okay. But it’s still a copy-paste, repetitive complaint at this point. 

The other thing people harp on is the toxicity of the Steven Universe fan community, specifically citing an example where a fan artist was bullied into suicide. If you’re criticizing those who engage in online harassment, then this is certainly a valid example, but what I take issue with is the blinders people wear when it comes to when and where harassment is a serious issue. 

A lot of people have said the Steven Universe fandom is toxic, and that’s probably true. Most fandoms are toxic, because most people are empty, easily radicalized, narcissistic sociopaths with a deep need to be a part of something (even if that something is a mob) and blow off steam by singling out and destroying some chosen pariah.

Yes. Harassment is bad. No matter who's doing it, which usually happens to be… everybody. 

Funny how people always seem eager to get on a moral high-horse about online harassment when it’s being done by a fandom or group they don’t belong to. 

But dig into any channel of someone complaining about toxic fandoms that harass people, and take notice of how many of them are also flag waving members of some other fandom, group, or movement equally guilty of harassment. 

Spoiler: It’s all of them. 

Or check how many of them have personally engaged in similar mass-shaming of whichever human sacrifice it's cool to hate at the moment. 

Yep, once again, all of them.

Youtubers are scum. Human garbage.  They have no conscience and no consistency. These people don’t even care about what they’re saying, everything is about what’s trending for them. They don’t really care about criticism, or toxic communities, or bullied teens. The same frauds who condemn cyber-bullying one minute will turn around at a moments notice and rush to join in every hot-button dog-pile and lynch mob against anyone currently in the public’s crosshairs.

Never trust a group, and never trust anyone complaining about a group. 

The only guy you can really trust is right here, because i’m not on anyone’s side, I’m on everyone’s side. I dream of a better world for all of us. A world where everyone shuts the fuck up and dies. Controversial, I suppose. But hey, Socrates was shamed in his time too.

Lastly, there’s the never-ending dirge of complaints about the show being liberal-lesbian-gender-studies-social-justice-tumblr-propaganda, to which I say... sure. Whatever. So what? There's an unsurprising but nonetheless grim lack of self-awareness to a bunch of moralizing, politicized youtubers declaring someone else's work to be "propaganda". I have a hunch you’ll find more agenda-pushing propagandists-in-training on youtube than you ever will drawing rock-people for Cartoon Network. 

In the strictest sense of the word, “propaganda” is defined by dishonesty, and there’s nothing dishonest about Steven Universe. Its message comes from a place that may clash with the personal politics of those misguided enough to *have* personal politics while watching cartoons, but there’s nothing sneaky or insidious about it, it’s right there. 

The creators are making the show they want to make, and they’re not trying to turn you into an “SJW" anymore than Tarantino is trying to give you a foot fetish. Well I can pick Uma Thurman’s toes out of a line-up but I assure you i will remain mercifully flaccid while doing so.

Point being that art is made by actual human beings. Actual human beings tend to have thoughts, feelings, experiences, and ideas they wish to express. That’s why it’s art. 

Rebecca Sugar, in addition to being an accomplished cartoonist and songwriter, also happens to be a bisexual hipster, and her art reflects that. Good for her, at least she’s creating something that resonates with people, instead of clutching her pearls about other people’s art and calling it “criticism".

Those who can’t do criticize and those who can’t criticize make youtube videos. Specifically smug, rambling ones about what *group of people* they believe are corrupting the moral fiber of our society, thinly disguised as a critique on a popular thing people care about with big letters in the thumbnail and hypnotic relaxing music in the background. 

In my case, that group of people is youtubers. 

Now lay down and try to wrap your head around the perfect figure 8 loop of satire that i just created. That’s why i’m the only legitimate satirist left on this cancerous tumor of social media called youtube. Because my stuff has more layers than onions, more levels than Super Monkey Ball, and more self-awareness than a hall of mirrors. Where does it begin? Where does it end? No one knows for sure, but i intend to find out. 

Anyways here's a funny video about Steven Universe.