AnimeCon Harem 8: Fear and Insecurity (Patreon)
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After clambering over to straddle Brians lap, Emily remained latched in a fierce hug, pressing herself up against his chest with her legs wrapped around him. With the lower portions of her cosplay torn away, the petite Latina could feel the meaty plinth of his erect dick rising up behind her to nestle perfectly in between her butt cheeks. It was extremely distracting, and her splayed-open sex was flushed and practically salivating a warm, syrupy trail of arousal down across his rugged lower abdominals. The nectar trailed down beneath her all the way back to the thick root of that massive penis of his.
On the nearby easy chair, Stephanie was likewise situated in Kellys lap, and Emily could see that the two girls were necking and enthusiastically pawing at each other like horny teenagers. The wet sounds of their kissing was broken only by stifled gasps, muted whispers, and occasional soft moans of approval. This surprisingly sapphic display of passion was more than a little interesting, but Emily turned her head, trying not to watch.
Emmie? Brian asked in a low, sexy murmur. You okay?
Yeah, I just yeah, Emily let out a slow breath, feeling overwhelmed. Just. Gimme a minute.
Brianyou made me cum. I just ORGASMED all over your face, dude. Surf and spray still crashed across Emilys mind in brilliant sparkling bluesshe couldnt be any more turned onand these were only her feelings above the waterline. Just beneath the surface, an unstoppable tide of deeper emotions was stirring.
Crossed fucking OCEANS of bullshit to be with you, Emily thought, deciding to continue to slowly pucker her lips in a languid line of moist affection across Brians neck. With so many mistakes, misadventuresso many stupid fuckups and shipwrecks along the way. Now, finally, FINALLYwe can be together... right?
When shed presented herself to him earlier with that teasing wriggle, eagerly offering it all up, she never anticipated hed respond in any other way than just sticking it in. Instead, Brian actually chose to lean in down behind her and... go down on her first. Shed felt both shocked and honestly overwhelmed being thoroughly pleasured with his tongueit wasnt anything along the lines of what shed fantasized about. Emily had been mentally steeling herself for direct penetration, bracing to receive a hard pounding. Instead, the surprise cunnilingus felt so much more intensely personal that her heart wasnt prepared at all.
For so many years, shed built this up in her head as her big moment. Any expression of attraction Brian had for her was all the validation shed ever fantasized about. Sex was expected, and anything more their first time seemed... unlikely, unrealistic, more than shed dare to hope for. Over time, how the big moment was supposed to play out had somehow become an established mindset. This was totally outside the scope of what shed planned.
It was better.
As she rolled her old expectations over again in the sway and swash of her mind now... closely examining it, they didnt measure up to reality at all. Brian hadnt shied away from spreading her thighs and then planting his face right up into her private partshed actually been pretty enthusiastic about it. Making out with her muff, pushing his tongue deep inside her to sensuously explore her every nook and cranny, working her over with powerful strokes, appreciating and adoring every soaked pink fold of pussy til it felt like she was melting, until her futilely kicking legs finally gave out from under her.
The experience exceeded anything Emily had ever dreamt up on her own. When she masturbated alone, she had to work at it, work up to it, tense her body and diddle herself up towards a certain frenzied crest. This wasnt the case at all with Brian licking and lapping and slurping away at her. Instead, her pelvic muscles had stiffened up in resistance beneath the onslaught of slick sensationas if her body thought she could ride it out. Past a certain point, however, she couldnt clench up anymore to possibly withstand itand Brian just kept going. And going.
It had felt like her lower half was steadfastly sinking into a pool of pure pleasure, and Brian had that fluid blue feeling fully enveloping her, flooding her trembling body and drowning her in sensations she was completely helpless against. Orgasm had borne down on her with a thrilling inevitability, culminating in that sweeping tsunami so huge and unstoppable that her feeble attempts to withstand it were laughably useless.
That was so fucking incredible. Didnt even know it was possible to cum like that, Emily thought, squirming in Brians lap as she absent-mindledly suckled just below his earlobe. She was so wet it felt like it was getting everywhere, and it felt like they were both now messy all over with the musky lubrication of her excitement. Should probably feel worried. That its weird or too much, but instead he made me feel accepted? Encouraged? Made me feel completely loved, every little bit of me. Oh, Briannn you cant do that to me.
Sorry bout ripping your costume, Brian told her, somehow managing to sound not even a little bit sorry.
That... was so fuckin hot, Emily confided with a small smile, snuggling in even closer. You realize I wore that for you, right?
The fishnet? He asked, stroking a hand down her butt. Nuh-uhyou wore netting beneath last year, too.
No, noevery year, the whole Akane Kurokawa thing, stupid, Emily smirked. Dont you remember? Way back when, when we were at very first talking about adult stuff in anime? How she kinda like, represented somethin to you?
Ho-ly fuck, Brian jerked in surprise. No way do you remember me saying that. Emily, that was like forever ago.
Yes way, idiot, Emily tried to put on a playful pout, but a disarming grin kept bubbling up past it and winning out. Idiot, baka, stupid moron! Wouldve done a bit of chest binding and went for a Sousuke Salladin cosplay if it was just for me. Wasnt it all kinda... super obvious? Like, why else would I go for an Akane cosplay? Doesnt xactly fit my body type, yknow?
Literally nobody wouldve ever connected that, Brian laughed. Or ever guessed that Emily, the little hottie, would have even had a thing for me.
Emily, the little hottie? Emily repeated, squeezing her arms tighter around him.
Yeah. EmilyIve called you a little hottie before.
You have, buuut, that was back when we were just friends, Emily said. So... basically, it always counted as being said in like, a joking way.
She gleefully continued nibbling her lips across Brians bare throat in a teasing trail of not-so-soft smoochesfuck, I wanna LEAVE MARKS, hickies, bruisesand then played her tongue back along over her indiscretions in soothing apology. Having her mouth always on him like this was... comforting. It was a certain stage of naked intimacy shed been craving for years. Now that shed finally gotten her taste of this, she was reluctant to ever relinquish ithow could she ever let go?
Fuuuck. Yeah, I could get used to this.
Then hows it feel when I call you a little hottie, now? Brian teased.
I dont know yet for sure, I guess, she found herself pausing, hesitant to reveal her uncertainties. Um. Why didnt ya just jam it in? Still kinda surprised, I thought for sure you would. Im, uh, gettin all anxious all over again. Youve gotta realize, the plan was to just wiggle my butt for you and say hop in, bro! Ive been holding in that joke for years, so now its like, I missed out on getting my punchline, or somethin?
Pffft, Brian had to turn away, shaking with laughter for a few moments while Emily held onto him with an expectant smile. Jesus. Hop in, bro? You had years, and thats the line you stuck with?
Worked, didnt it? Emily hugged him tight, nuzzling her face against his shoulder in satisfaction. Made ya laugh.
Its definitely the most Emily thing you couldve ever said, Brian agreed, squeezing his arms tight around her.
Thanks! Emily mumbled in embarrassment. Oh, and Ive gotta saythe tonguing was choice, dude. Annnd, Im gonna leave you a great review and allfive stars, two enthusiastic thumbs up! Buuut. Why didnt you just uh. You know. Do me. Is it weird? Is it still... weird, because its you and me?
What, why didnt I fuck you til you were making ahegao faces and victory signs with your fingers? Brian laughed.
Exactly! Cross-eyed, mouth open! Tongue out! Its not rape if her pupils turn into little hearts! Emily snorted. Ask any lawyer. But, uh, yeah. That. Stickin it in.
Emmie... Brian chuckled. Did you want me to like, show you my honest feelings? Or, dyou just want me to be real rough this first time? Im startin to think your, uh, fantasy version of me isnt real romantic.
No no no! Emily slapped his back. I dont mean it like that. I just I dunno. Romantic? With me? Its justits weird? You and me, were like this. This is us, the way we are with each other. We can joke around, and be whatever, and its not serious, its likecomfy. Its us. Shard for me to picture you treating me any different?
But you can picture me just ravishing you, using you for nothing but my own gratification? Brian asked in mock-indignation. Wow.
Yes? Emily blushed furiously. I mean, no? I dunno?! I guess I did kinda picture things kinda like that. Um, yeah, a lot
Its like youre hung up right there, Brian laughed. Stuck somewhere between knowing me better than anyone else in the world, and not really knowing me at all.
Hey! Emily frowned, feeling herself start to tense up. That cheery, confident exuberance she was trying to project was wavering, beginning to collapse and retract back into herself. I mean Brianhey. Cmon, seriously? Kinda... like, not a cool thing to say to me.
Fuck... was he actually just humoring me with the oral? Emily furrowed her brow, scrunching her eyes shut. Even now, when practically floating with joy and relief and basking in the contented warmth of this whole experience... all of those lifelong insecurities persisted. They still tried to justify themselves, still stubbornly clung to the flotsam jagged debris of her past stupid shipwrecks. Is this all not how I think it is? Goddamnit, bad-brains. Please dont do this to me right now. Dont fuckin ruin this, too.
She swallowed uneasily.
Jesus, Emily. What the fuck, get it together. This was its probably fine. Right? Probably. Dont blow it all overthinking things. Sall in your head. This is just you know, just the madness and delirium of bein lost out at sea for too long, Emily thought miserably, hiding her face in against Brians shoulder again. Sooo, either landfalls REALLY in sight this time, or this is just another miragelike that night after homecoming.
Emilycan I just be brutally honest with you? Brian asked, regarding her with a serious expression.
Um, In Brians lap, Emily felt herself go very, very still. Yeah? I dunno, probably? Can you?
Most of my Emily fantasies revolved around making you I dunno, making realize how perfect you are, Brian revealed. Like, magically filling you with confidence, making you believe, really believe how much I care about you, how much you mean to me. I mean, rather than going all crazy with lust and attacking you, Ive really always wanted to well. Romance you, worship every inch of your bodyforce you to accept that, um. That you dont have anything to be afraid ofand not leave any fucking tiny space for you to doubt anything. Emily, I love you. But, its like youre not ready for that.
What?! Emily retorted in mock indignation, quickly blinking away hot tears.
Not ready? Inwardly, she was reeling so hard it felt like she was going to be sick. What went wrong, whathow did I fuck this up?
Wh-whaddya mean, not ready? Emily soldiered on, shoving her terror and despair deep down into herself. Briandont know if you can tell from the slime trail Im rubbin all over you, but Im like, gushing down there. Hello? Doesnt get any readiern this, bro. The birth cannon is primed and ready for, ah, for inserting artillery ammunition.
Birth cannon? Wow, Kelly broke away from kissing her way down Stephanies chest to interject. That ones new to me.
Thank you, Kelly, Emily said through her teeth.
Emily, youre not making a great case for yourself, Brian countered with a nervous laugh. I meantmentally, youre not ready. I dont mean ready for sex, uh, necessarily. I mean, ready to accept the way I feel about you.
We just talked and talked and talked, Emily growled in frustration, trying hard not to sound petulant. AndI said I was ready. All of that like, worked some stuff out. So, yeah, I wasnt ready, but then now I totally am, now. Im completely ready. Completely.
What, you think I cant tell when youre lying? Brian gave her a look.
Im not fuckin lying to you! Emily exclaimed quickly, a slight tremble appearing in her voice.
You arent lying to me, Brian said softly. Just yourself. I know you, Emmie. Were makin progress and peelin back layers, yeah, but this still isnt you. The real you is still... walling herself off deep down there.
I-it is not! Emily flustered. This is the for real real me. Im completely, totally fuckin ready for this.
Then, why are you shaking?
Im not! Youre shaking! And, uh, even if I was, sonly cause Im just so fucking damn turned on! Not cause Im not ready.
Its no, this is important to me, Brian frowned. Not real comfortable having it like this. Wouldnt it be kinda... putting the cart before the horse?
What are you even on about, and what the hell kind of old man saying is that? Emily sniffled. What does that evenwait, are you calling me a horse?!
What? No, Brian chuckled. Calling you the cart, duh. Are you getting everything all switched around all on purpose?
I really dont see what horse-carts have to do with any of this!
Guuuuys, Kelly interrupted again in aggravation. Stop. Just just, stop. What are you two bickering about now?
Brian... feels like shes not really ready, Stephanie spoke up, attempting to mediate. Or, or like Emily wants to, but for the wrong reasons?
Not your call to make, Brian, Kelly gave him a pointed look. You need to let Emily make Emily decisions.
Cant you broads just go back to sucking face?! Emily thought in embarrassment, feeling her ears burn as a blush traveled down her face and neck. Or, orwhatever it is you were getting up to? Do ya both GOTTA be listening in? Brian and I dont need advice from the peanut gallery right now!
I get what youre saying, but... Brian frowned in an apparent struggle to articulate his thoughts. Stopping Emily from making Emily decisions has practically defined our friendship. Also, its like, hellIm a part of this, dont I get a say?
Brian, youre not an Emily decision! Emily blurted out, already conceding the fact that Emily decision historically meant stupid ideas and hilarious fuck-ups. Youre a smart decision. Youre like, the smart decision. YoureBrian, I love you. Can we do this? Please?
Emilyyoure not gonna fix your self-esteem issues and build up confidence by fucking Brian, Kelly said. Bad precedent to set, and once you start associating your worth with sex like that, it sets you down a path that doesnt go anywhere you wanna be. Trust me.
What, speaking from experience? Emily scowled. She hadnt intended to snap at her, but the subject matter really was making her that uncomfortable. Whose side are you even on?!
...In part, yes, Kelly replied in a slow, careful voice, glancing down. Listen, despite whatever you all think of me, I dont consider myself a slut. But, Ive absolutely known girls who wereand those were the reasons why.
I dont think youre a slut, Kelly, Brian protested.
Yeah, you do, Kelly sighed and quirked a weak smile at him. And, Brianyou need to just dick Emily and get this all over with.
Wait, wait, Brian let out an uneasy laugh. Why is it... kinda like your advice for us doesnt match up?
Yeah, we sposed to bang, or not? Emily made a face.
I dont got a perfect answer for you, sorry, Kelly shrugged. You two both have problems, but theyre not the same problem. Tryin to compromise just mucks things up, cause then youre getting your contexts confused.
W-wait, what about me? Stephanie interjected, pointing at herself. Arent I... just like Emily? Are you saying I shouldnt be, um intimate with Brian?
Nah, youre practically opposites? Kelly explained, glancing from pink-haired girl to blue. Youre more social anxiety than self-esteem. Emily socializes super easily, but has the really shitty self-image.
Hey! Emily protested uneasily. Geez. It its not that bad.
Wait, Kelly, Brian quirked a puzzled eyebrow. I thought sex wasnt a big deal to you at all?
Actually, Emily bristled. Can... everyone just butt outta my personal stuff completely?
Sex isnt a big deal, Kelly ignored her, blowing an errant strand of red hair out of her face with a puff of her lip as she shifted Stephanie in her lap. But, seems like her reasoning kinda is? Normally wouldnt even care, because whatever, not my businessbut Brian, if Im your girlfriend now, if were all gonna be your girlfriends together, Im not gonna let shit like this slide. This is my business, now. Right?
I yeah, okay, Brian nodded.
Brians reasons for holding back are fundamentally dishonestalready been through that with him today, Kelly rolled her eyes. Emily, youre probably not readyyoure just... feeling pressured into this. By your new circumstances with Brian, by the Chloe situation, and especially by Steph and I being here. You feel this obligation to prove yourself, put yourself in our standing. Same as Stephanie all needing to go confront Chloe, even when I told her what a fuckin bad idea it was.
I wasntit wasnt like that, exactly, Stephanie weakly tried to defend herself. And, um, what about what you said before? How... you were thinking that, uh, people who dont know how to swim should just jump in the water, to get it over with?
Quit tryin to apply any of what I said before to any o this, Kelly waved a dismissive hand. You two arent the same, and I wouldnt give you the same advice. Steph, you need to jump in the water and learn to swim, but its not for everyone, okay? Youre practically a blank slatesomeone jumps in the water saddled with enough baggage, they will actually fucking drown.
Im not gonna drown! Emily scoffed. Geez.
Snot what I heard, Kelly said, giving Emily a meaningful look. Word around here is that youre all splishy-splash with your blue stuff, like, drowning deep in it. That might mean something, you know?
You dontwe dont talk about that! Emily glared, unable to stifle how nervous this was all making her. Andnobody knows what any of that actually means yet.
Steph knows, Kelly argued. I trust her judgement when it comes to that stuff.
Um Stephanie bit her lip. I dont know for sure? We probably shouldnt assume any metaphor is
Uh, you guys lost me at splishy-splash, Brian admitted, looking at them with interest. What does
We dont talk about that! Emily insisted. Its a um, its a girl thing, alright? Its stupid. Dont ask. Its allits whatever. I really dont even care if my reasons make me a slut. I want to be Brians slut. How is that even a problem?
But, does Brian want a slut? Kelly countered. Or, does he want his Emily?
Fuck his Emily Emily began to retort.
Hey Brians stern warning cut her off, and there was actually anger apparent in his voice. Whoa. Stop.
Emily lowered her gaze, unable to bring her teary eyes up to meet his. She feltshe didnt know how she felt. At all. The blue was rippling back and forth in a way that was making her dizzy, and the depths of her psyche were stirred up in a way that made her feel sick. She was feeling manic, worked up like she wanted to fight all of them, and the hot stream of her temper was saturating waters she preferred to keep cold and still. They didnt understand, theyd never understandbut she needed them to understand!
Emily, you
Its scary, okay?! Emily sobbed.
Her carefully composed everything felt like it was slipping through her fingers and spilling away to completely empty herself out. Like the measured level shed built up by sinking all of her real issues as deep as humanly possible was pouring everywhere, and her ability to keep up the spunky best friend facade was now dropping precipitously.
Y-youre this, this amazing thing, and Ill always just be Emily. Ill never be beautiful, Im not really sexyIm never gonna look like Mom. Never gonna have great tits, never gonna be all, I dunno, cute and innocent like Steph. Or actually cool like Kelly. Im just, Im this, and its not enough and itll never feel like enough. I want you, Ive always wanted you, I want you so bad, but, but I want you forever, and one day youre gonna be like, okay, Emily isnt enough for me in this and this and this way, andits gonna break me. Im not gonna be able to, I, um, I cant
She was forced to gasp for breath after stammering out so much all at once, and her throat was closing up with sobs.
IllIll get over it and feel better if you just fuck me, alright? I dont wanna think about things, an, I dont wanna worry about things, I just want us to be horny and do it and get past this so that everything can be fine. Okay?!
Brian bonked his forehead into hers before she could continue, and she blinked open wet eyes at him in surprise.
Emily, Brian said carefully, stroking his fingers down her back. Youre so goddamned stupid, sometimes. I love you. I need you. You are attractive, and Im incredibly eager to show you that, but I cant ever think of you as just that. Like you said earlier its me and you, Emily. Its us. Im gonna love you because youre Emily, youre my Emily, and youve always had my back. Because of all that weve been through together, because I trust youre always looking out for me, and I know, without any doubt, that Ill always look out for you.
I could tell Brians head was in a bad place this weekend, Kelly added. From the breakup, and all. If all hed done was mope around and pine for his ex... I wouldnt have had much interest in him, to be honest. But, you and Steph like, lit up parts of him, made me see more.
That was just Steph, Emily sniffed. Not me.
Listen to us, Stephanie pleaded. Brian talked about you, all weekend! Not about Chloeabout you. Youre the reason he came here, you gave him the charm! You knew what Chloe was trying to pull on him, so you made sure he was here. Made sure he had a chance to get away from her, and be happy.
Shu-shut up, Emily managed out in a lame voice, trying not to choke up. Shut up. Youre stupid.
No, youre stupid, Brian shot back, holding her against his chest and stroking a hand through her hair. Stupid tsundere girlfriend. I love you.
Yeah? Well, Emily sobbed, hiding her face, I love you too.
She thought she caught Stephanie and Kelly exchanging glances through her blurry tears, and couldnt help but hide her face, feeling totally mortified.
Sorry, Brian said sheepishly, turning towards those other girls. Not tryin to play favorites or anything between you all, I swearjust, this is how I feel.
Its fine, Kelly said calmly. I am jealousbut not in the way youd think, I guess. Hah.
I thought it was beautiful, Stephanie breathed, sounding a little choked up herself. Um may I?
Of course, Brian nodded. Always.
Before she had time to wonder what Brian was agreeing to, Emily felt the mattress shift as Stephanie joined them on the bed, and then the girl was wrapping both of them up in a tight hug. It felt... surprisingly good.
Okay, but when were done crying it all out, can we all kiss and make up? Kelly asked, sounding playful. Im up for more action tonight, but so far it seems like Emilys charm power is just magically giving Brian blue balls.
Kelly, sshhh! Stephanie admonished.
Charm power? Brian asked.
Its aum, Stephanie sputtered. Kellys just being mean.
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