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(Ebook) (All) (Ch. 1) (Ch. 2) (Ch. 3) (Ch. 4) (Ch. 5) (Ch. 6) (Ch. 7) (------) (Ch. 9) (Ch.10) (Ch.11) (Ch.12) (Ch.13) (Ramda Dakimakura)

Remiel’s religious upbringing on a puritanical space colony has left him wholly unprepared for Captain Ramda Uweko’s stunning herm wolf hybrid beauty. On his journey to earth, Remiel struggles with his extreme attraction to her and all the things he thought he knew about himself. Enticed by Remiel’s shy lust, Ramda gives chase. And things only get hotter and heavier from there.

Remiel's Fall From Grace - Chapter 8
by Zmeydros
(edited by Tiliquain and Sheera Castellar)

Staring at the light gray composite walls of my quarters, I kept trying to believe that Ramda wasn't actually mad at me. She'd said she wasn't, but people often said that to keep others from worrying. And I was very worried because I still didn't know what I wanted from Ramda and it was only a matter of time until she lost patience with me. That is, if she hadn't already lost it.

My foot tapped on the floor as my leg started to shake. Why did I care if she had patience for me or not?

Probably because I was obsessed with her to the point it was hard to sleep soundly. I'd woken up in the middle of the night remembering her drinking down her own seed while in the captain's chair and had to get off to get back to sleep. I didn't know my sex drive could be this high. It didn't make any sense. Maybe I was just thrilled to be leaving Trinity Stronghold behind?

No, it couldn't have been that simple. With the looming possibility I'd get shipped back due to Daniel's childishness and stuff with Ramda, I was under a hell of a lot of stress.

My feelings for Ramda were so confusing. I normally avoided things that overwhelmed me and yet here I was looking forward to our talk despite feeling like I needed to hide in a storage compartment for the rest of my life. All this obsession over her made even less sense since I hadn't actually seen her pussy. She'd said that she had one, but the only physical evidence of it I had was the warmth behind her balls when I accidentally goosed her on the first day. And the more I tried not to think about her dick, the more I thought about it. It just...belonged on her and I couldn't imagine her without it.

Not that any of this mattered. She was about to tell me, very kindly, that I was right. That she needed to move on.

I bit my lip, not wanting to cry right before she arrived. I'd been holding in my tears for my entire life, not wanting to burden others with my emotions. But now I was actually on my own for the first time in my life and I couldn't stop them from leaking out. My dad liked to tell me that only gay men cry.

No, I was a normal guy and it was great that Ramda was going to leave me be. I wasn't as strong as Ramda and I'd never know what I actually wanted, so all I had to do was just continue forward doing what everyone else wanted for me. It was time to stop fooling myself and just be a good MiraManna employee so I could gradually get more responsibility and pay. Then I'd find a wife, volunteer at the chapel, and raise a good, God-loving family. It was what my parents wanted, what I was raised to do, and I didn't know any other way to live. I bit my lip harder, forcing those tears to stay put.

My breakfast started trying to make its way back up my throat. Why couldn't my body, my emotions stop fucking with me? Was I in some sort of unbeatable VR game where every decision I ever made was wrong no matter what I did?

My eyes widened. Wait, every decision I made was wrong because no matter what I chose, I was still miserable and overwhelmed about everything.

Going to Earth wouldn't save me. I'd be like this for the rest of my life. No, I couldn't live with this... I couldn't... no... no... no...

When my door chimed, I was curled into a ball on my floor, shivering as if I'd been dropped into arctic snow. It chimed again before I managed to get to my feet.

When my door lifted off the frame and slid to the side, Ramda was standing there in her close-fitting, tan and gray uniform. The moment she saw me, her brow furrowed and her smile became a straight line of concern.

Too ashamed to look her in the eye, I walked over to my bed and sat down. "I'm sorry."

She sat down next to me, ducking a bit to make sure she didn't hit her head on the luggage rack above it. "You don't have to apologize. The only thing that rubbed me the wrong way was you deciding what's worth my time."

"S-sorry," I cringed as the stabbing in my chest got worse. Now she was going to tell me that she was done with me.

Grabbing my chin with a paw-padded hand, she looked into my eyes. "You. are. worth. my. time," she said very clearly before letting go of my chin.

I looked into her eyes and tried to believe her. "H-how? I can't even enjoy all of you."

"I have a pussy too, dear," she chuckled. "Even if you only play with that, it'll be an improvement over me doing stuff alone."

"No one on your crew does anything with you?" I tilted my head. How could she want me?

"Rarely, yes, I've played around with a couple of them. But they're actually in relationships with each other or people at the stations we frequent. I'm good friends with all of them, but they're my subordinates and that's a hard relationship to navigate, especially when I'm not the sort to settle down." She sighed. "I know this is hard to believe, but I get a lot out of meeting people like you. It's awesome to see someone in awe of what I've become. It helps remind me that I've done it, I've brought the wolf girl inside me to the surface. That I' survived Trinity without getting everything that makes me special choked out of me."

"I feel like I'm choking," I said, looking at the floor. "I don't feel like I'm going to survive."

Grabbing my hand, she said, "You're aware of what you've got to lose. That's so far ahead of everyone else. Think about how indoctrinated the rest of the employees traveling with you are. How indoctrinated Josiah is."

"Maybe they're just normal people and I'm an oddball. Maybe I'd be happier if I was normal like them." I shivered.

"No!" Ramda growled. "Every single person alive is eccentric. Normal is a layer of gray paint we slather on everyone to pretend we're all the same. Trying to live in societies like Trinity's tends to put people under so many layers of medium gray paint that they don't even remember what's underneath it until it breaks through the surface. So many of them don't even think about or realize how strange they are because it doesn't fit the collective narrative. I caught Josiah putting a pat of butter and a dash of black pepper in his coffee yesterday morning. When I asked him about it, he tried to convince me that lots of people from Trinity do it."

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Butter and pepper? I've never heard of that before."

"Butter, I've seen once or twice before, but in people who weren't from Trinity. And the pepper? He's the only one."

I scrunched up my face when I tried to think about what that would taste like.

"See? We're all bizarre, and I have a suggestion for you," she said.

"Oh?"

"Forget being normal, no one, under close inspection, is completely normal," she said. "Deciding what's normal and what's not is how disabled kids get abused in education systems and how people spend their whole lives living someone else's lie."

"But if I don't try to be normal, I could get sent back," I said.

"That's a valid concern." She put an arm over my shoulder and hugged me against her side. "However, you also have to consider your mental wellbeing. It's dangerous to stuff all your eccentricity and sexuality into a dark corner when you're just starting to feel comfortable exploring yourself."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just stared at the hand gripping my shoulder.

"I needed a lot of help to get mentally and physically away from Trinity and I'm prepared to support you as you figure yourself out."

My mouth hung open for a moment before I said, "B-but you barely know me."

"Anyone who befriends my temperamental robots and sits in a waiting room to see if the rotten sack of human refuse who just bullied them is going to survive is someone I'm willing to put trust in," she said.

I blushed, having no idea what to do with that compliment. The tension in my muscles was finally lifting. There was this spark of belief that she actually liked me and it was giving me this odd warmth. Like holding a cup of hot chocolate when I'd just come in from the cold.

"Did something happen to you this morning?" she asked. "When you answered the door, I thought you'd been shot."

"No, nothing happened. It was stupid," I said.

"I doubt that. Was it something you were thinking about? You don't have to tell me, but I was a bit worried."

"Am I gay?" I asked.

"I'm a woman with a cock and you really seemed to like my breasts, so I don't think it's that straightforward," she said. "Plus, you're still figuring yourself out and there's no deadline for you to turn in the results. If you rush it, you could end up like me when I was in my twenties. I was so dedicated to the idea that I was straight that I was sleeping around all over the place trying to find a woman I was attracted to. Turns out I'm only attracted to people who have dicks. Nowadays, I don't even really think about what my sexuality is, I just live it."

"I don't know what's up with me or what I want." I gave her hand a squeeze. "You're incredibly attractive and I don't know whether it's because you have a--" I paused. "--thing or it's just your chest and other parts."

"You don't have to know any of that. It might take you years to figure it out and I'm happy to just let you be you." Ramda paused. "You ever just cuddled with someone?"

"N-not really. Wasn't allowed to be in bed with anyone I wasn't married to," I said.

"My folks weren't quite that bad. As long as I kept my clothes on, they let me have some leeway," she said. "How about we just lay on your bed together and hang out a bit?"

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yep, I think it's been a while since you were able to relax and let your guard down," she said.

"Don't you have stuff you need to do?" I asked.

She chuckled. "Nope, but I can find something else to do if you'd like time to yourself."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay, you want to cuddle, or okay you want me to give you some space?"

I froze, unable to get myself to say it aloud.

"Let's try this, if you want me to go, just let go of my hand and I'll go," she said.

I squeezed her hand tighter than I meant to, I didn't want to be alone with myself again.

Her tail wagged as she grabbed me and laid me on the bed, wrapping her arms around my torso. She was resting the underside of her muzzle on the top of my head while my back was against her six-titted front. I could feel her balls against my buttocks, but I didn't really mind it. It was the most intimate hug I'd ever had.

I found myself breathing deeper within a few minutes of us lying there. My hands and arms became limp, my legs, shoulders, chest, and back loosened. My racing thoughts slowed to a crawl and my eyes felt heavy. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. It was like I was in a thick haze of safety and reassurance.

When she moved her arm out from under me, I noticed it was over twenty minutes since the last time I'd looked at my HUD. I'd fallen asleep on her. "Sorry!"

"I responded to a bunch of messages while you were dozing off," she said as she rolled onto her back. "Come, lay atop me."

I did as she asked, squishing her breasts between us. She encircled me with her arms again and just stayed silent. When I noticed my prick pressing against her package, I blurted out, "What was it like when you changed into a hybrid?"

“As your body's getting hybridized, it takes a while for your brain to figure out what to do with the new parts. Moving my tail naturally, and not constantly knocking stuff over with it, took me months. The fur coming in was really itchy, but I soon started liking it. It dries faster than you'd think and it helps me feel comfortable in a much wider range of temperatures than I would otherwise."

"Did it hurt?"

"For the most part, it was more irritating than painful. The changes to my jaws and teeth, however, those hurt a lot sometimes."

"What about your, um, other parts?" I asked.

"Do you mean my genitals?"

I nodded sheepishly.

"It was quite confusing because my body didn’t know how to single each set out. When I touched my snatch, I could feel sensations on my cock, and when I touched my cock, I felt sensations on my snatch. They call this sensory bleeding and it complicated everything. If I got aroused or excited, both would go along with it. And if I got off one, the other got off at the same time. The orgasms were good, but lacked clarity. Gradually, over the course of a month or so, I was able to perceive them as two separate parts."

As she explained this, my body started heating up and it took some willpower to stop myself from squirming atop her. It was so easy to talk to her about this stuff because she didn't make a big deal about it. "Do you like having b-both?" I asked.

"Oh hell yes," she said. "It allows me to be sexually omnivorous. Couples love me because I can be like a sexual connector for them. Guys and girls can play with me however they like. And when I find another herm, we can go two rounds one after another, which might be the best thing ever. Orgasms from my prick are sharper and more sudden. Orgasms from a pussy are more like waves.” As she spoke, her prick started pressing up the front of her uniform, into the space between us. “Does that answer your question or have I just rained TMI down on you?”

"It's fine!" I said as I started wiggling against her, feeling tingles all across my skin as her dick rubbed against my belly through our clothes.

She grunted and humped against me. "Can I do something really lewd? I'd be rubbing my prick against you, but you wouldn't have to do anything with it and it would feel really good to me."

"What is it?" I asked.

"No pressure as to whether you go through with it or not, but I'd like to surprise you," she said. "I'm gonna let you take a peek at my snatch whether or not we do this first thing."

"O-okay," I said, very curious about what she was planning.

"First, I gotta get out from under you and drink a nice big glass of water."

"Sure." I got up, filled a glass of water, and handed it to her.

She was sitting on the bed, her prick was up between her lowest set of breasts, making a clear outline in her uniform. She drank the entire glass and then handed it back to me, saying, "Just one more glass, please."

I refilled the glass and gave it back.

She drank it, then she laid on her back. "Just let me know if you don't want to do this and we'll try something else." She undid her pants, pulling her gorgeous prick out of its confines. "Take off your pants and then stuff this up under your shirt as you lay atop me."

Getting ordered around took away that whole step where I second guessed myself, so I just took off my pants, went over to her, and slid her dick into the space between my shirt and my front.

Pulling me against her to sandwich her prick against my bare skin and her breasts, she said, "This okay?"

I moaned and hid my face in the crook of her neck. My shaft was hardening so fast it was aching along with each heartbeat, pressing itself against her sheath and balls. A jolt of joy shot through me at having our intimate flesh touching like this.

Just as I started to worry about whether what we were doing was gay, she said, "You smell so good."

"Ngh! What do I smell like?" I asked.

“A bit like hibiscus tea with an earthy undertone,” she said as her cock reached further up my chest, leaving a trail of pre.

"W-why did you go for such a big--" I couldn't say it.

"Having one big enough to go up between all my sets of breasts sounded like fun when I was deciding on my enhancements and they assured me that it's very popular for people to get their capacity modded so there'd be a lot of people that could fit me." Her prick rocketed to full hardness as she spoke. "Turns out they were right and I love my giant cock!" She growled and started thrusting her thick tapered canine shaft, nearly making it out of the collar of my shirt.

I was all movement and no thought, grinding my cock against the well-lubricated base of hers. The more we bucked our hips against each other, the harder I tried not to think about what we were doing and just concentrate on the sensation of her hot hard length caressing mine. I bit my lip to stifle my pleasured exclamations, not used to making so much noise.

She whined and panted as she kept picking up the pace. Her pre, which was soaking into my shirt, was slicking up my whole chest and she was holding me against her as she fucked the space between us. My shaft got even harder as her knot swelled.

Unable to keep a lid on myself any longer, I cried out every time I thrust my prick against hers, my voice cracking as I pressed my face against her neck and the bed.

She gave me a bear hug and thrusted erratically as her cock contracted along its length. Then she howled as cum gushed from the tip, soaking me and my shirt as her knot got bigger than one of my fists.

Hearing her enjoy me so much, feeling her squirm in ecstasy below me, and her shaft pulse against mine, I exploded. My prick bounced as it stung from how hard my jizz came out. I let out something between a howl and a yell, holding her against me so tight that both of us could barely take in air. There was so much cum. She drenched my shirt so badly it was soaking into her uniform and into her fur until I could feel all six of her nipples through our clothes. The curry smell of her thick cream was filling my senses, making this whole experience inescapable.

Though I couldn't bring myself to taste her, I was only slightly nervous about her shaft being against me, even as my horniness waned in afterglow.

END OF CHAPTER 8

I’d like to acknowledge my $20 patrons, Arkona Kothe, Navajo Demar, UBA, and Warialinth for helping make all this possible. Thank you! Thanks to all my other patrons as well. Every one of you rocks!

(Ebook) (All) (Ch. 1) (Ch. 2) (Ch. 3) (Ch. 4) (Ch. 5) (Ch. 6) (Ch. 7) (------) (Ch. 9) (Ch.10) (Ch.11) (Ch.12) (Ch.13) (Ramda Dakimakura)

Comments

Reid

Excellent chapter! 💜 I enjoyed the bit with the cuddles and hand holding very much! Ramda's openness is very refreshing. And the frottage at the end *chef's kiss* so good! 💖 This sequence was a little confusing however: ""She grunted and humped against me. "Can I do something really lewd? I'd be rubbing my prick against you, but you wouldn't have to do anything with it and it would feel really good to me." "What is it?" I asked. "No pressure as to whether you go through with it or not, but I'd like to surprise you," she said. "I'm gonna let you take a peek at my snatch whether or not we do this first thing." "O-okay," I said, very curious about what she was planning."" The way it reads feels like Remiel doesn't know what Ramda is planning to do under his shirt. Even though she literally spelled it out for him in the first paragraph. It almost feels like the bit after Ramda asks "Can I do something really lewd" was supposed to be omitted in order for the dialog exchange to work afterwards. Minor nit-pick of course. I still thoroughly enjoyed this intimate moment between Ramda and Remiel 😊

Rasqull

Remiel's struggles strike very close to my heart. Thank you for putting these feelings into words better than I can do myself. Ramda is truly a free spirit that more people should strive to be.

Arkona Kothe

Remiel is making progress! That is good to see! Slowly coming to terms with the thought of an undefined sexuality, definitely strikes me on a personal level.

zmeydros

I went through so much of this and it defined a large part of my life. Glad it resonates with you. ^_^

silvenllar

Ramda is awesome.