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Hey come on in, go ahead and have a seat. Whenever you feel comfortable is fine.

Thank you again for coming in, I know with summer right around the corner it can be challenging to find time, I noticed you’ve built up quite a social media presence, plus you’re hitting the gym every day and of course those frequent trips to the mall you like to vlog about.

What's that? Oh yes, that does sound like an amazing sale…

Ahh but sorry, that’s not the reason I called you into the office today. No, I'm afraid it’s nothing so pleasant. We just got your test results back and I’m afraid we have to talk about your condition.

Are you sure you’re comfortable? You can relax on the furniture, I don’t mind. You feel more comfortable laying on your back? Gotcha. I should have seen that coming.

Why are you giggling?

Moving on. So I’ve reviewed your test results and I’ve conferred with the other professionals in the office and they have confirmed my findings. I’m afraid, my dear, that you have Chronic Thought Avoidance Syndrome…

No no, you don’t need to cry.. Oh wait, you’re giggling again..my mistake..

So as I was saying C.T.A.S. is also known as Ditzy Dysphoria, sometimes shortened to “Double D”. It’s a chronic syndrome, but with proper handling it’s perfectly manageable and it doesn’t have to have a negative affect on your quality of life, in fact if you turn it to your advantage it will probably improve your life quite significantly.

There's that pretty smile! See, it doesn’t feel so bad now does it.

So now here you are.. Comfortable on your back, smiling and giggling after just finding out you’re a ‘Double D’. There's actually a word for girls like that, something a bit less professional sounding but you know what, I think it might be perfect for you..

Oh I know, my dear, words are hard… that’s why I think instead of using all those big words I used before, this one simple word might be perfect for you…

Why yes those are nice boobies… but I need to finish giving you your test results, so I need you to stop rubbing them for just one moment.. okay?

Good girl. Now, I’m happy to inform you, we’ve all had a look at your chart and we all agree.

You are a bimbo. What’s that? Oh wow, you’re so close. Yes, but it’s actually spelled  B.I.M.B.O.

Go ahead. B.I.M.B.O.

You know what? Maybe it would help if you got a tee shirt or a necklace with those letters on it. If you were feeling especially proud of your diagnosis you could get that tattooed somewhere on your body maybe? Wouldn’t that be fun?

At least then you’d never forget what you are..

Go ahead and put it into your phone, if you need to.

B.I.M.B.O.

Good girl!

Well. that’s our time for today. Thank you again for coming into the office, now go out there and show the world you’re a proud Double D Bimbo. Yes yes, i’ll be sure to check out that sale at the mall, Bye for now.

Nurse Embers, can you send in the next patient?

I still have a stack of these diagnoses to hand out.

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