Darling Public Radio - Episode 4 (Patreon)

Good morning Darling and happy new year! It’s time to rise and shine with Pleasant county’s number one morning broadcast since 1955, Darling Public Radio, coming to you live via traditional radio waves and high-tech digital sound through the interwebs.

The holidays are behind us and the snow can’t decide if it should stay or if it should go, but all of you swell listeners can stick around because our inaugural broadcast of 2022 is about to begin That’s right, you’re listening to Darling Public Radio, brought to you by the generous financial considerations of Darling Industries and the patronage of listeners like you.

Darling Industries, building better communities, One family at a time!

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Welcome back everyone, it’s so wonderful to have you all here, it’s a new year and for many of you listeners that means it’s time for a new you. Resolutions or not, are you ready to become your ideal self? Find out later in the program, but first some local news from around Pleasant County.

I am oh so excited to report that Mr Christopher Smith and his wife Barbie are already expecting their first child! You’ll recall it was just a few short months ago that Christopher took Barbara’s hand in marriage and guided her to a new and wonderful life as a devoted and delightful homemaker. Barbie, once a big city lawyer, has settled into her new career as a full time mommy-to-be with great aplomb, out with the pantsuits and in with the maternity wear!

Congratulations to Mister Smith for his fine work helping to grow our Darling community. I’m sure the ladies of Darling have plans for a baby shower well in hand. The girls seem to get so much practice organizing these events lately!

The Darling Women’s Association has announced that the guest speaker this month will be recent Darling newcomer Mrs. Sarah Cohen. Thanks to her husband’s generous permission, Mrs. Cohen will be giving the ladies in attendance a talk on maintaining modesty in fashion throughout the modern world.

You may recall that Mrs. Cohen has recently taken to wearing the traditional headscarf often adopted by married Jewish women. It truly is beautiful to behold and the Darling Women’s Association is absolutely certain Mrs. Cohen has valuable advice for applying the concept of modesty to other areas of our lives. Word has it that Mrs. Cohen has even prepared a few interesting examples for those ladies bold enough to try a headscarf for themselves!

The Darling Women’s Association will be meeting in the showroom at Lucy Ann’s Dress Boutique, at 2:30pm on Sunday, while the menfolk are out playing golf. Any interested ladies are encouraged to stop on by for refreshment and fellowship with the swellest bunch of girls in Pleasant County.

Stay for the informative talk and then browse Lucy Ann’s selection of one-of-a-kind feminine creations! All attendees will receive a voucher for 20% off all dresses, skirts and aprons, valid this Sunday only. So don’t pass up this amazing offer. What Darling wife can refuse a bargain?

It sounds so delightful!

Now on to our main topic for this broadcast, New Year’s Resolutions and You. I am sure you’re all familiar with that age-old pattern of pledging to improve yourself at the beginning of every year, only to have your resolution forgotten within weeks. You start out strong on January 1st and by the 15th you simply can’t remember what all the fuss was about. Well ladies, it’s time for something different. It’s time to make the new you a reality and that’s why I am going to offer you ten simple tips to becoming a Darling woman..

1. Temper your attitude! Your life will never change if you don’t allow yourself to adopt the mindset of a happy homemaker. That’s right, ladies, you have to want a better life! No one else is going to change your thoughts and opinions for you, that would just be silly!

2. Smile your way to success! I know it sounds quite simple, but you’ll find everything in your life gets just a little more pleasant if you show off those pearly whites, no matter how you’re feeling. Remember, nobody loves a dour Dotty. It’s time to put on a pretty smile.

3. Be true to your word! When you said “I do” you weren’t just going through the motions, you were entering into a contract, you made a deeply personal pledge to honor and obey your husband and a Darling woman would never lie about something like that, would you? Of course not!

4. Be patient and enjoy life. A newly married woman may find she needs time to adjust to her new role in life.  If things aren’t working out with your man, don’t complain. Carry on until everything is swell and focus on the aspects of your life that bring you joy, such as family time, household chores and shopping trips with the girls.

5. Think less, Trust More. Marriage is a partnership. Trust your husband to know what’s right for you and your family. Be willing to let go of selfish thoughts and allow him to take the lead. You might just find you enjoy letting your man sit in the driver’s seat. Find things to occupy your mind other than doubt. The ladies of Darling will show you how.

6. Support your man. A Darling woman needs to feel needed and the easiest example is fulfilling the needs of your husband.  When he comes home from work he is tired, so greet him at the door wearing that number he finds oh so fetching, with a hot meal on the dinner table and a drink made just the way he likes it.

7. Don’t worry your pretty head! The world is full of complexities that just aren’t your purview. Focus on the things you can understand. Homemaking, maintaining your appearance, being pleasant and pleasing. Focus on the simple things, let tradition be your guide to a simple and fulfilling life.

8. Understand your place in the world. You are not a man and you never will be. In this crazy modern world it can be so easy to forget that you’re just a girl. You don’t need a high paid career or a PhD  to make a difference in the world. You can start in your very own home!

9. Presentation matters! Femininity is more than just a word, it is a way of life. It permeates your existence in ways you can’t even understand. A Darling woman radiates femininity in every action, from the way she walks, talks and dresses to how she treats those around her. Be modest, not just in your attire, but in your thoughts and actions as well.

10. Take the time to Improve yourself. A Darling woman has many skills, be it cooking, cleaning or taking care of children, she is never unprepared. All women are born with these skills, even if they don’t realize that deep down they are a part of who we are, so take the time to nurture them and watch your happiness flourish.

There you have it, folks. Following these simple steps is a surefire way to find yourself becoming the ideal woman of Darling. It’s such a swell feeling when you’ve finally found your place in the world. A place like Pleasant county, where the sun is always shining and everyone knows exactly where they belong.

Tune in next time for our countdown to Valentine’s Day, not to mention special mayoral election coverage for the Men of Darling. I may even be joined by a special guest who can explain all the complexities in a way that even I can understand!

Have a pleasant day, Darling!