Naruto Shippuden: Fanboy from the Mist - Chapter 4: Misconduct at the Spicy Dumpling (Patreon)

“I think it’s best we keep this between the two of us.” Naruto said, deciding that this was the best course of action.

“That one eh?” Konohamaru affirmed with his fists on his hips. “Okay. We’ll keep this to ourselves. A covert operation with as few people as possible sounds good.”

“Yeah. The less people involved, the better.” Naruto said, looking to the side. Even if the people Konohamaru had in mind agreed to join them, the fact that it would have to come with the caveat of explaining to them that a kid who hadn’t even entered the academy had managed to beat the snot out of them made it a definite no-no for him.

“Agreed.” Konohamaru said before putting an arm around his back and clearing his throat into his fist. “Well than, Naruto, if we’re on the same page, I’ve got several courses of action to take in the sub category of what to do next in mind.”

“Wow,” Naruto responded, surprised by Konohamaru tenacity. “You’re prepared. Revenge must be second nature to you. Alright then, let’s hear it.”

“Right now, I’m thinking of either A; pretending to play nice with him and acting like we’re going to give him what he wants. B; doing something bad and framing him so that he takes the heat for it. Or C; getting Master Ebisu or Lady Hokage to put us in charge of his first Academy lesson.” Konohamaru said this, holding three fingers up. “I have more on the back-burner but those three seem like the best options at the moment.”

“Really? How about Plan X; we go find him and beat him up.” Naruto said back. 

Konohamaru giggled and raised his nose up at Naruto. “Come now Naruto. How primitive. We can’t simply react so foolishly. It’s unbecoming of young and powerful ninja such as ourselves to resort to something so uncreative and impulsive right off the bat.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Right. You’re just scared he’ll beat you up again and that you’ll enjoy it.”

Konohamaru blushed and stammered his protests back at Naruto in a way that didn’t sound convincing at all. “Sh-Sh-Shut up! I told you I didn’t LIKE it! My body just… reacted weirdly because of… seasonal… changes…!”

“Uh-huh.” Naruto’s eyes narrowed with a grin etched onto his face. “It’s perfectly natural to splooge in your pants when the seasons change. I gotcha.”

Konohamaru’s cheeks puffed out in anger and his face steamed a boiling red color. Naruto had to laugh at that but calmed down quickly enough to ask Konohamaru about plan A.

“Okay, okay.” Naruto put his hands up. “I’m going to pick plan A. Tell me about it.”

Konohamaru forced himself to calm down and as he wiped the beads of frustration sweat off his forehead, he looked to the side as he explained his plan.

“First, we track down Tabe and apologize.” Konohamaru stated. The idea of doing that made him wretch but it was a necessary first step. “Second, we invite him to a restaurant.”

“OH! That sounds great! It’s been a while since I’ve gone to Ichira-!” Naruto started before Konohamaru interrupted him by poking his nose with his finger. Naruto’s eyes crossed looking at it. 

“No Ichiraku.” The younger lad said, straight-forward as possible. “Sorry boss but we need to take him to a real restaurant. One with waiting tables and a chandelier. There’s GOTTA be a fancy chandelier. Otherwise it won’t feel authentic. Also, 5 days away from Ichiraku isn’t that long a time.”

Naruto pouted. “You don’t think that may be a bit too weird and suspicious. Ichiraku is a much more homely and simple place to take him. We might be coming on too strong if we take him to a fancy place.”

“Bah. It’ll be fine. It’ll just show how sorry we really are. He may even think we took him there because we’re just that scared of him.” Konohamaru giggled. “Little does he know that when we get there and order his food, we’ll get him to look away and then spike his food and drink with diuretics! He’ll have to go pee so bad!” Konohamaru laughed.

Naruto chuckled. “Oh, I see. And when he’s struggling to hold it in, that’s when we restrain him and take him down. He’ll want the bathroom so bad that he’d submit long before he wet his pants. Ha. Can you imagine? Wetting your pants in public like that?”
 

“I know dude. I’d die if that happened to me.” Konohamaru sighed. “Although, people did see us naked…”

“I can’t figure out which is worse…” Naruto muttered, crossing his arms.

“Yeah… I’d saying wetting yourself might be slightly worse since anyone can be seen naked but peeing on yourself is something babies do.” Konohamaru pondered as well. 

“Well… whichever one is worse, there’s no reason we can’t strip him naked after he wets himself.” Naruto grinned.

“Ah. Then it won’t matter which is worse!” Konohamaru laughed right before eyeing Naruto with a simmering chuckle. “Speaking of naked, hurry up and put some undies on.”

“Huh?” Naruto blinked and then looked down at himself. “AAH!” He blushed and scrambled to the dresser, grabbing a pair of Party Clown underoos and putting them on. They snapped against his bubble butt and made him blush as they wrapped around his crotch. They fit so well. It was so embarrassing. 

“Let’s hurry and do this, Clown Briefs.” Konohamaru said.

“No problem, Bunny Undies.” Naruto fired back.

--

“Ah-ha.” Tabe rubbed his chin as he looked at a piece of paper in front of him. This info was quite the juicy little tidbit. He knew that the Akatsuki had a special interest in Naruto but it wasn’t super common knowledge as to why. Especially outside of the Hidden Leaf. 

However, this article he pulled up from the library detailed a lot about Naruto’s strange feats of power during the war as well as Madara’s plan to awaken the Ten Tails. If he studied the details of the war well enough, it would seem that the Jinchuriki were the ones he was after. Naruto must have been the Hidden Leaf’s Jinchuriki then. Most likely, it was that legendary Nine-Tailed Fox that attacked it so long ago…

“So… he has the Nine Tailed Fox inside of him? The entire village must already know this… but no one told me when I came here. I guess no one thought it was relevant, which I get, but still, that kind of sucks.” Tabe seemed rather disappointed.

If the village already knew about the Nine Tailed Fox than there really wasn’t any cat to let out of the bag. That just meant they knew he got his power from the Fox but just didn’t care. If that was true, then the only reason they still had respect for his power had to be because they weren’t aware of just how weak and unimpressive he was without it.

“I guess it’s up to me to show them all then.” Tabe muttered. He found it rather ironic. He came here a fan of Naruto but was now making it his mission to expose him as the fraud he was. 

Life was unpredictable.

“Hey! Tabe!” A voice came from the sky.

Speaking of unpredictable, here they were, in the flesh.

Naruto and Konohamaru came down and landed before the boy. The voice of Naruto rung in his ear like a poison. Him just saying his name like that made him upset now, where as before, it was akin to something orgasmic.

“What do you want?” Tabe asked, looking at them with clear and obvious scorn on his face and in his tone of voice.

Naruto and Konohamaru stood before him with small, warm smiles on their faces. The two of them were wearing matching white t-shirts and wrapped around their waists were small black shirts that made it look like they were wearing skirts. 

Tabe smiled. “No pants eh? What’s wrong? Felt like feeling the wind waft between your balls?”

Naruto and Konohamaru grimaced. They knew Tabe was the one responsible for the loss of Naruto’s clothes. Konohamaru didn’t even have time to head home and change into his clothes either. He had to get this done before the only restaurant he could get into without a reservation closed. That also meant that he had to be convinced fast. It didn’t help that they had a bit of trouble finding and buying diuretics. Those they had to keep tucked away in the folds of their shirts.

“Look… we… uh… how do I say this…?” Naruto pretended to ponder. He had to make this seem real. “We’re sorry.”

Both he and Konohamaru bowed before Tabe. The young boy looked shocked.

“We got off on the wrong foot.” Konohamaru stated next. “I’m doubly ashamed because Master Ebisu put me in charge of overseeing your entry into the Ninja Academy with my knowledge and I ended up antagonizing you.”

Tabe was staring at them with a look of surprise on his face. Unknown to them, the backpack he had on still had the assortment of plastic bags full of baby diapers and paraphernalia inside of it. He had been on his way over to Konohamaru’s place next to see what he could do to sabotage his house.

Yet, here they were, apologizing to him…?

“Yeah…” Naruto continued the apology. “I didn’t really come off as that good of a role model either. Seeing me the way I acted back there must have crushed you.”

It did. Tabe couldn’t deny that.

“To make it up to you, we want to take you out to eat with us.” Konohamaru perked his head up with a bright smile. “It’s a fancy restaurant called the Spicy Dumpling! You’ll like it!”

Tabe instantly felt his tummy rumble. He rubbed his hand over it and blushed a bit before looking up at the two of them.

He saw the portraits of two former role model ninja with toothy grins on their faces staring back at him. They looked eager for him to accept.

So, he did.

“I accept. I am pretty hungry… and if you guys are paying-?”

“Yup. I’ll pay!” Konohamaru said, raising his hand. He, of course, was going to force Tabe to pay when the plan came through. Neither he nor Naruto had money on them. Naruto’s secret stash was outright stolen by this brat so that he could replace all of Naruto’s clothes with t-shirts and underoos.

“Well then… neat!” Tabe smiled brightly. “Lead the way.”

Naruto and Konohamaru turned to face one another and grinned with their eyes closed, looking genuinely happy and proud of themselves.

Oh, how delicious this dinner date would be.

--

Upon entering the Spicy Dumpling, Konohamaru and Naruto were looked over by the waitress at the counter. She saw that they were wearing shirts to act as lower coverings and contemplated letting them in before deciding that it was okay. Perhaps those were just fancy ninja skirts or something. Either way, the owner was looking right at them as she did this and he said nothing. It was fine.

The three of them sat down together in a booth and looked at the menu, post haste.

“Oh man! The stuff here looks so delicious!” Tabe grinned.

“What do you want?” Naruto asked.

“The entire right side of the menu.” Tabe licked his lips.

The other two boys giggled. Sure. Whatever. Tabe was paying for it anyway so let him get whatever he wanted.

The water came first, of course. It was free and complimentary, which meant that the actual drinks would arrive later. Since they had no beef with the restaurant, Naruto and Konohamaru took it upon themselves to drink the water, sucking it down to the ice-cubes before another glass came and replaced it.

Konohamaru had to stop himself after he started sucking on the second one though. The lady, by this point, hadn’t asked them what their real drinks would be, and they only had access to water and bread so far. That was the balancing act of a restaurant though. Your drinks coming first sucked if you were the kind of person who liked to eat and then drink later.

Sure, they’d give you free refills but if you drank too much you’d have to worry about getting up to use the bathroom all the time. He never managed to get that balancing act down pat though. Naruto certainly didn’t care. He was sucking them all down and by the time she asked them what they wanted to drink, he had downed about three of these waters. Konohamaru had no room to speak though. One and a half glasses was a bit much too.

All three of them ended up asking for a lemonade. Well, Tabe wanted a special Strawberry-Mango Lemonade. That sounded delicious so Naruto and Konohamaru quickly changed their orders to that. The more they could put on this bill, the more disgruntled Tabe would be when he paid for it after all.

Then the meals were chosen. Ramen for Naruto. Burger and fries for Konohamaru. A mini pizza, a side of mac and cheese, some ice-cream with strawberry drizzle, and cheese-sticks for Tabe. 

Tabe’s stuff alone was about 30 bucks worth of food for this fancy ass place. Naruto’s ramen was about 15 bucks and Konohamaru’s burger was about 10. That came out to around 55 dollars. That sucked for whoever had to pay it.

Either way, the orders were cast. When Tabe’s lemonade came, that’s when Naruto and Konohamaru saw their opportunity. Tabe hadn’t taken to drinking any of the water so slipping the diuretics in wasn’t something they were able to do. Here was their first legit chance.

Now to distract him.

“Hey uh… Tabe…!” Naruto began as he watched Tabe lick his lips and grab the lemonade. This happened while the same drink was placed in front of Naruto and Konohamaru as well. They all ordered the same thing so having it come out at the same time was expected despite it being a special drink. “L-Look over there!” Naruto said pointing to the side.

Konohamaru turned his head as well, wondering what Naruto had pointed at. Surely, he didn’t just point randomly in the hopes that Tabe would look right? That didn’t give them nearly enough time to slip the diuretics in.

Turns out that’s not what Naruto did. Tabe was amazed at what he saw.

Some guy was carving out an ice sculptor at the center of the restaurant. It must have been a special day or something because a lot of people were taking out their phones to get snapshots of it. There was a little standee next to the man sculpting it that said “On Tour”. This guy must have been a famous ice sculptor or something and was here on tour to show off to the restaurant for a fee. Really nice. It looked like he was making a Pegasus. 

Tabe’s eyes sparkled as he was enchanted by it. It looked great.

Konohamaru and Naruto had to admit that it was a little mesmerizing as well. They almost forgot to spike Tabe’s drink. Almost.

Konohamaru regained enough sentience to hurriedly unscrew the cap underneath the table and reach over before dumping the contents into the lemonade. He knew he couldn’t properly stir it but that was fine.

He then turned back to look at the sculpting going on.

Eventually, the food arrived next and was set down before the three of them. The instant it was, Naruto and Konohamaru realized just how hungry they were. Their stomachs set off on a growling spree as soon as the shiny plates embroidered with the delicious meal was set before them. Drool poured out of their mouths like literal waterfalls.

To say they dug in would have been an understatement. To be fair though, Tabe was just as much of an animal when it came to scarfing stuff down.

In the middle of his fourth slice of pizza, Tabe spoke through his food at the two of them. “Oh man… this is great! Thanks for inviting me over for this. I’m having a good time.” He said this while grabbing his lemonade and taking a big gulp of it. He’d been spacing out sips of his drink a lot while eating and each sip he took made Naruto and Konohamaru giggle under their breaths.

Konohamaru then grabbed his own drink and took a huge swig of it too. 

“GAH! BLEGH! EWW!” Konohamaru coughed and sputtered, getting the other two boys to look at him. 

“What’s wrong?” Naruto asked.

“This lemonade tastes gross dude.” Konohamaru snapped. 

“Really?” Naruto grabbed his and took a gulp of it. He smacked his lips then licked them before smiling. “No way, man. You’re crazy. It tastes great.”

“Well, try mine then.” Konohamaru said, pushing his over to Naruto. Naruto raised a brow and took a few sips of it before making a face and lightly pushing it to the side. “Yeah… I don’t know what that is but I think someone might have given you rotten strawberries or something.”

“Ah man…” Konohamaru grumbled.

“You can have some of mine if you want.” Tabe offered.

“AH! No! I mean… no, that’s okay. I just got unlucky. That’s all. I’ll just ask for a new one when the waitress comes back.” Konohamaru sighed.

Eventually, the waitress did come back and he got another one. This one tasted a ton better and as a result, he managed to finish it along with Naruto.

The meal went on for a bit with Naruto and Konohamaru taking turns glancing at Tabe. 

He looked fine.

He’d finished his meal and was now patting his little happy plump belly while his tongue licked the sides of his mouth. He’d been royally well fed.

“This was awesome. I can’t thank you guys enough.” Tabe said again before letting out a cute little burp.

“I don’t… understand… why aren’t you…” Konohamaru muttered under his breath. He went to stand up to look over Tabe’s glass… but the instant he did, a pressure he didn’t even realize he was holding struck!

“HEEEK!” Konohamaru lurched and his eyes crossed. Suddenly, sweat began pouring down his face. He was frozen in place.

Naruto looked him over a bit confused. He stood up as well to try and see what the matter was but was then hit with the same overwhelming pressure in his gut.

“HOOOGH!” Naruto’s eyes crossed and he grabbed himself down below. 

Both Konohamaru and Naruto were now blushing and swishing their butts back and forth, sweating up a storm and gritting their teeth while looking down at Tabe as he patted his belly.

They then watched in horror as Tabe’s little smile upturned into a devious smirk.

“It was a bad move looking over at the ice sculptor again after you spiked my drink.” Tabe said flatly. “Switching Konohamaru’s drink with mine was easier than I thought. Thanks for taking gulps out of it too Naruto. You rock.” Tabe winked.

Naruto and Konohamaru stared in horror at the kid, feeling their faces blush even redder as the pressure struck again.

“HOOOGUH!” They both made weird animalistic sounds as the pain shot to their bladders.

At that time, the waitress came back with the check. “Here’s your ch-!”

She didn’t have time to finish as the two of them pushed her aside and roughly started to scramble for the bathroom. However, the bathroom was by the exit, which made it look like to her that they were trying to run out on the bill.

“AH! HEY!” She snapped. “Security! Those two are trying to skip out on the check!” She called out.

“BATHROOM! BATHROOM!” Naruto and Konohamaru sprinted down the carpeted floor, towards the exit so fast that the shirts covering their waists slid off and hit the floor.

Now Naruto was running in his clown briefs and Konohamaru in his bunny underoos. Running with their hands covering their crotches looked so goofy and weird but it looked even more enticing seeing them run in their colorful and patterned tighty whities!

The people in the restaurant had a range of reactions to this. There were a couple of people saying “OH MY!” and “WHOA!”. There was also a bunch of kids and teens their age recognizing them as Naruto and Konohamaru and taking out their phones to record them running in the fancy restaurant with child undies on and holding their unmentionables like idiots.

They eventually saw the bathroom right up ahead but the man making the ice sculptor was in the way.

There was only a tiny space in between him and the nearest table. Only one person could fit through!

Naruto and Konohamaru gasped when they realized that. They didn’t have time to wait for the other to walk through. Their bladders were crying for help! They needed sweet release and they needed it NOW!

Naruto looked to the side at Konohamaru and instantly raised his foot to punt him in the cheek!

“HUURFF!” Konohamaru grunted as spit flew from his mouth and landed on the table of a very brutish looking teen. 

Konohamaru didn’t fall though! He instead stood his ground and used his foot to kick Naruto’s hip! That shook Naruto’s bladder something fierce. Naruto’s even went blue in the face because of it!

The two of them began snarling and pushing against each other as they tried to fit between the open space provided by the nearby occupied table and the ice sculptor. The ice sculptor in question noticed this eventually and turned to look at them with confusion etched on his face.

“MOVE IT!” Naruto snapped, shouting at Konohamaru as he tried to push a free hand against Konohamaru’s face in order to get him moving aside.

“NO! YOU MOVE IT!” Konohamaru fired back, attempting to use a free leg to do the same. 

They kept jerking about that and fidgeting, unable to fit through the open space. Neither one of them wanted to let the other through!

“COME ON! I GOTTA PEEEEEE~!” Konohamaru whined.

“SO DO I DUMMY!” Naruto snapped.

“WELL I GOTTA PEE MORE!” Konohamaru fired back.

“NO YOU DON’T! I DRANK THREE GLASSES OF WATER AND A LEMONADE!” Naruto countered.

“THAT’S YOUR OWN FAULT!” Konohamaru said, appealing to Naruto’s stupidity this time.

“NO! IT’S YOUR FAULT! THIS DUMB PLAN WAS YOUR IDEA!” Naruto shouted again.

Tabe, meanwhile, was sitting in the booth, laughing his ass off and kicking his feet. All the phone flashes going off around him, the laughter and comments from the customers, and the security people rushing from the back towards them was too much!

“I SAID MOVE!” Naruto finally had enough and pushed against Konohamaru so hard that the young boy toppled over! 

“WHOA! WHOOOOOA!” Konohamaru was on one leg and was losing his balance now. He fell to the right but grabbed Naruto’s shirt sleeve in an attempt to take him with him on his way down…!

SMASH! CRASH! BRAAAK!

What Konohamaru fell into wasn’t the floor or even a table.

It was the ice sculptor!

The two of them ended up colliding into it and breaking it into several cold hard pieces! They flopped on top of the frozen ice chunks and jittered on the ground, shivering with their teeth chattering as the ice enveloped them.

They laid there, splayed out on the ground, spread-eagle, and showing their briefs off to the entire restaurant.

The two of them groaned and shot up, grabbing themselves as they shivered and did the potty dance in place. 

“Are you serious?!” The sculptor said, in a voice so quiet that it almost seemed as though even he couldn’t believe it. He got louder the next time he spoke though. “YOU TWO DESTROYED MY SCULPTURE!”

The shout made the two of them jump. Tiny wet spots appeared on the front of their briefs!

“We’re really sorry sir! It’sfine. We’llmakeituptoyoubutwereallygottapeeeee~!” Konohamaru said this so fast while squirming that he was already turned around by the time he finished his sentence. Naruto was as well but that didn’t matter when it came to either of them because that was the moment security caught up to them!

They were both grabbed from behind and had their hands placed behind them backs in really rough holds!

“AH! NO! LET US GO!” Naruto shouted, squirming as he pressed his legs together. “PLEASE!”

“You two were skipping out on the check, streaking in your underwear, AND you just destroyed an expensive sculptor!” The security man stated, anger seeping out of his voice. These delinquents thought they were going to storm through here like heathens and get away with it? HOW DARE THEY!

“NO! NO! PLEASE!” Konohamaru began crying, tears falling down his face as he hugged his legs together, fully aware that they were starting to get really wet. “PLEASE! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! WE…. WE… PEE… PEEEEEEE~!”

That was it.

Naruto and Konohamaru both gasped and began to let the flood gates open. They flooded their briefs right in front of the entire restaurant. It seeped down their legs and pooled around their feet. 

“WAAAAAAH! YOU JERKS!” Naruto began crying now too. This was too humiliating! The camera flashes got brighter. The laughter got louder! His face got redder! 

“I HATE YOU! LET ME GO!” Konohamaru began struggling and went to elbow the security man. Thankfully, the other one saw this coming and slugged Konohamaru across the face! The boy’s eyes crossed and immediately dropped like a wet sack onto the floor, his face smashing into his own piss puddle on the carpet.

“We’ll add attempted assault on top of that.” The guard said as he smashed Naruto’s face to the floor as well.

The two of them wiggled their wet butts around as they were restrained with handcuffs. They were being detained for these very random and fiendish crimes. 

As Naruto cried while being hauled off and Konohamaru drooled with his eyes rolling as his limp body was dragged off, Tabe took a couple of breathes.

He then sighed and looked down at his pants.

There was a tiny wet spot on it. 

“Haha… I laughed so hard I peed a little… I guess they did get me to wet my pants after all.” Tabe grinned and shrugged.

--

Naruto and Konohamaru sat in a small cell at the station across the village. They were waiting to be released after it got sorted out what it was they were trying to do. Hopefully, they’d believe their story.

Right now, the two of them were sitting in a cell, wearing wet underoos, and staring hard at the bars.

“Well… that didn’t work.” Naruto said all of a sudden.

“Shut up… it was just plan A…” Konohamaru muttered back.

At that moment, the cell was opened and the security officer handed them a box. “Here you go. This is a gift from your friend. We checked the contents and deemed it suitable enough for you guys to have. Enjoy it while we sort this out. You should be home in a bit but in the meantime you may need this.”

With a chuckle he turned and left.

Naruto and Konohamaru blinked in confusion before opening the box and pulling the contents out.

The two of them face faulted with shame as they held up a pair of Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer diapers…!

“N-No… way…” Naruto groaned.

“He … they can’t expect us to wear these while we wa-HEEEP!” Konohamaru yelped suddenly.

The diuretics were kicking in again!

A split second later, Naruto stood in his ruined shirt and the Seasame Street diaper while Konohamaru stood in his shirt and Dora diaper, grabbing the bars of the cell and shaking them before yelling out loud.

“LET US OUT! WE’RE INNOCENT!”

They screamed this in unison while filling up their diapers with pee. 

Looks like Tabe’s gift came in handy.

--

Well, that didn’t work. Gotta say though, that was one of my favorite things to write. The escalation of stuff going wrong and all the things set up to make it happen felt great. Plan A was a bust but it’s time to see if Plan B or C will fare better. Let’s find out.