How can you tell if you're a nerd? (Patreon)

Well, one indicator might be writing a textbook chapter about a quantum mechanics thought experiment AKA Schrödinger's Corgi as flavor text

Chapter 4: The Schrödinger's Corgi Conundrum (Or How We Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Biscuit)

Ah, dear trainees, gather round! It's time to delve into the high-brow, intellectually stimulating world of dimensional physics with the ever-so-serious Schrödinger's Corgi thought experiment. Yes, you heard that right—a corgi. Why? Because we, the esteemed authors of this tome, believe that adding a cute, short-legged dog into quantum mechanics makes it infinitely more palatable.

So, here's the gist: Imagine, if you will, a delightfully plump corgi named Portly. This canine, known for his insatiable appetite for biscuits, finds himself in quite a predicament. He manages to sneak into a biscuit safe (as one naturally does) and, in a turn of events that no one could have foreseen (except everyone), gets trapped.

Now, according to the principles we totally didn't make up for the sake of this example, Portly is simultaneously in a state of utter biscuit nirvana and devastating biscuit-less despair. Why? Because until someone opens the safe and observes his situation, he exists in a superposition of states—in one dimension, he’s having the feast of his life; in another, he's contemplating the cruel, biscuitless void.

"But what does this have to do with dimension jumping?" you ask, as any astute trainee might. Well, dear reader, much like our hypothetical Portly, as a dimension detective, you too will find yourself in a myriad of bizarre, inexplicable, and often contradictory situations. One moment, you might be in a world where gravity is just a polite suggestion, and the next, you're negotiating peace treaties with sentient toasters.

The Schrödinger's Corgi thought experiment, absurd as it sounds, is designed to prepare your mind for the unpredictability and sheer oddity of the multiverse. It teaches the valuable lesson of embracing uncertainty and the dualities of existence. Plus, it's about a corgi in a biscuit dilemma—if that doesn't capture your attention, frankly, nothing will.

In conclusion, trainees, as you embark on your interdimensional escapades, remember the tale of Portly. Let it be a reminder that reality is often stranger than fiction, and that sometimes, the key to understanding the universe lies in a biscuit-obsessed corgi trapped in a safe.

Happy dimension-hopping! And always keep a spare biscuit handy; you never know when you'll meet a corgi in existential crisis.