~Bucky Barnes NSFW X Listener: Too Cold, Lost Control~ (Patreon)

(Again, didn't have time to finish the Bucky art, but eventually it will be there!)

Attending a Christmas party hosted by Tony Stark isn't exactly Bucky's ideal, but he knows it means a lot to you, so he's going to try.

Contains:  Russian, Swearing, Fighting, Panic Attack, Warming, Comfort, Kissing, Hand Job, Petname (Doll).

Hey there! It's Bucky! I was originally just going to write a cute little thing of Bucky going to a party and not having a good time and it just escalated to Bucky having a terrible time and needing to leave and the listener comforting him and also helping him forget some things for a bit. It didn't start out NSFW, but it ended that way lol. Also, I apologize as always for the butchered Russian, I try, I really do, but probably not as much as I should lol.  Also, beware, there are some parts of this audio that get really loud and can be kind of surprising, so just be warned!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Bucky: This is.......extravagant to say the least.....

It's been.....well and nearly over seventy years since I've celebrated an actual.....Christmas.....

Yeah well......going from little to nothing to.......what Stark does is.......a bit much, to be honest.

Not that it's particularly bad.....

The ummmm....consumerism aspect of this is all still kinda new to me.....way back when.....I mean, there was never really a time where it was.....this.....even after......all those years......this isn't something that was even remotely on my radar....

*deep, intentional sigh*

*pause*

Just…..gearing up to be around people I don’t know…..trying not to think about the ten ways I could kill them if I needed to while they yammer on about stuff I don’t particularly care about anyways…..

*pause*

*slightly self deprecating laugh* It was a joke….*softer* Kinda…..

*intentionally breathes out*

It's fine.....the metal is just cold, you know.....and it's.......I know a lot of it's mental.....we're inside and it's obstensively warm...это просто....(eto prosto....) {it's just}.....hard to forget.....sometimes.....

.....I'm not going to bother Shuri about it......it doesn't matter. She and the rest of the Wakandan tech people already went through the trouble of making me this arm in the first place......it doesn't also have to be self warming.....It’s not like I can even feel the actual cold on it anyways....more of a radiating kind of thing…...

*breathes out*

It's fine.....I promise......

*pause* Yeah…..I’ll let you know if it…...if it get’s too much….

*longer pause*

At least they’re playin’ Christmas music I know…...glad Stark hasn’t given in to the whole, ‘retail holiday pop’ thing…….

*pause*

I’ve heard enough to know that I don’t like it…..

I’m sure you wanna go mingle or somethin’…..go ahead……I’ll just be here….

*softly*

Hey, Doll….I gotta be able to do it sometime…..everything is gonna be fine…...go ahead…..go and talk with your friends, you don’t gotta hold my hand all night, as much as I’d like you to…..

*soft kiss* I swear…..now go…..

*Fade out*

*Fade in*

*Huge Crash*

Я клянусь всемогущим Богом! Если вы скажете еще одну плохую вещь о них, я вырву вам конечность из конечности! (YA klyanus' vsemogushchim Bogom. Yesli vy skazhete yeshche odnu plokhuyu veshch' o nikh, ya vyrvu vam konechnost' iz konechnosti!){I swear by almighty God! If you say one more bad thing about them I will rip you limb from limb!}

*growls and a bang with a scuffle*

*gasp*

I don’t….I don’t…there’s no…..no gun….I…….О Боже {O Bozhe) {Oh God…..}

I….I’m so sorry they,.....they were just...He…..he said such terrible things about you and I just….I----*almost starts to hyperventilate*.....

*whispering furiously* Please….I’m sorry…...please---Вытащи меня отсюда (Vytashchi menya otsyuda){Get me out of here….}

*While Fading Out*

I’m sorry….I’m so sorry…….

*Fade In*

прости меня (prosti menya){I’m sorry}…..I thought…..I thought that I could…..that I could handle it but….just…...слишком много ..... слишком много (slishkom mnogo ..... slishkom mnogo) {Too many…..too much…)

I--I swore to you that it would be alright and I just….I completely lost control…..he….I don’t know…..something about the way he talked and the things that he said…..it just….something inside me snapped…..and I was nearly back…..I was…..

*shuddering, quietly*

I was nearly the Winter Soldier again…..

N-no don’t! Please…..please don’t….don’t touch me right now…...just yet…..

*pause*

I don’t...I don’t know….I don’t know if there even ever is 100% Bucky…..

There’s….there’s always going to be some part of me that isn’t….that’s… его. (yego.) {him.}

*long pause*

I’m sorry that…..I’m sorry that I ruined the night……

*pause*

*shouting* Well sometimes trying doesn’t feel good enough!!

*pause*

О Боже (O Bozhe){Oh God….}

F-fuck…I---I….

*almost starts to hyperventilate*

P-panic attack? I-I don’t get--I….

*pause*

I---O...Ok….

*deliberately breathes*

Y-Yeah….sit….sitting…..I can do that……

*more deliberate breathing*

*pause*

D-doing better…..

*pause*

Y-You should be safe now…...if you…..if you wanted to sit….

*pause*

Alright….yes….I-I would like you to sit next t-to me please……

*pause*

S-SSometimes when…..when stuff like…..what happened at the party….happens….when I….when I come out of it I just…...I always feel so f-fucking cold…..

Wait…..here…..l-let me move s-so you can hold my other hand…..the metal one is still really……

Cold…..

*beathes out a huge sigh*

*long pause*

God….I’m so sorry…..first I’m incredibly awkward, then I tried to kill some guy….and then I yelled at you and…...God you were only trying to help me and I was being such an ass…...panic attack….Jesus Christ……..

Прости, любимый. (Prosti, lyubimyy.){I’m sorry, Love}.

*pause*

*sighs* All things considering…..yeah I….I do feel better….

I did…..I did come out of it faster…..

You’re to thank for that…..

*clears throat* H-hows the arm? Does it….feel any warmer? I--I can’t really…..it’s more of a pressure than anything…..

The rest of me? Y-Yeah…..it feels warmer….

*grunts/moans softly in surprise*

W-wait…..after that you…..you want to….

*pause*

*chuckles weakly*

So me going all Russian weapon on someone….kinda turned you on?

*pause*

I’m not even gonna try to think about what he said about you…...just know that…..I may have threatened to tear him limb from limb…..

*moans softly*

T-that’s me, Doll…..your emotionally unstable man……

*pause*

S-sorry it’s….it’s hard to get rid of the self deprecating voice sometimes….the one that tells me that I don’t deserve this and to run away…...cause I’m just gonna end up hurting you….

*gasps softly*

It’s uh….good….definitely good…..yet….unexpected……

It’s…...it’s helping calm that voice down……

*moans softly*

J-Jesus your hand is warm……

*gasps* W-wait!

S-Sorry…..медленно (medlenno){Slowly)…..just slowly please….

*soft, almost gentle panting and moaning*

*soft laugh* *through gentle moans* I...I have to say…..I think this is…..much better than that party……

I’d rather be with you anywhere……

H-here…..d-do you want me to?

*moans sharply*

W-what?

*swallows* A-about me?

*breathes* Alright….

*quiet-ish panting and moaning*

I….*swallows* to be honest I didn’t expect anything like this when we went to the party…..

*chuckles softly through a moan* I had other things on my mind surprisingly, Doll……

*moans and pants*

Иисус. Приятно (Iisus. Priyatno){Jesus. Feels good}

*chuckles* Even the language gets you all hot and bothered…..doesn't it?

*moans softly*

Well then…..I’ll just have to talk in it more…..

и скажу, как сильно я хочу тебя трахнуть. (i skazhu, kak sil'no ya khochu tebya trakhnut'.){and tell you how much I want to fuck you}

*chuckles weakly, through pants* Well….you’ll just have to find out later, won’t you?

*panting and moaning*

Oh…..возлюбленная (vozlyublennaya) {Sweetheart or Beloved).....

*tightly* собирается кончить (sobirayetsya konchit'){gonna come}.....

*slightly rougher panting*

Yes…..yes…..Да, моя любовь (Da, moya lyubov'){Yes, my love}

*sharp gasp*

*shaky exhalation through a moan*

*soft panting*

*kiss*

Y-yes….I…..*swallows* I definitely feel better……

*pause*

*chuckles* Yes...definitely warmer….

*kiss*

Hey…...how about I make good on my promise?

*chuckles* That’s the ticket…..