Tutorial Rewrite 37 (Patreon)

The second I receive the message that he’s dead, I leap away from his corpse, dodging another stab by mere millimetres.

The priest is only a few feet away from me. Can I get him? Should I escape instead? Will he—

The priest points at me with his ring finger. Now that I look at his hand, he’s got a ring on each finger. I wonder that that’s abou-,

<Curse.>

…Okay?

An arrow whizzes towards me and I leap on top of the fallen commander’s lizard ostrich.

<Sprint Drake (Lv.3)>

Startled by my mounting, the ostrich starts running. Right into the thick of the army. Shoot.

Jumping right back off of it, I find myself in the middle of the archers, who stare at me like I’m not supposed to be here, which I’m probably not. But strategically speaking, this is my best position, because the spears can’t get to me, and the archers can’t fire at me, and they don’t have much face and neck protection. Hm. I should really thank that ostrich, if I catch it.

Without a single moment of pause, I throw myself at the nearest goblin, tearing up his face and neck to the point where I know he’ll die and then leaping to the next without waiting for the message of his defeat to pop up. From goblin to goblin, eviscerating as much as I can. At least, that is, until something bad happens.

I get pointed at again. Did nobody teach that priest that pointing is rude?

<Chain.>

Mid-clawing, I suddenly freeze completely in place, my arms and legs turning completely immobile. But now I know how to deal with this, so I just exert every inch of effort I can muster in order to…

<Chain Broken.>

<You have learned:

Immobilisation Tolerance Lv.2>

Great stuff. Now, to continue my little slaughter—

Something goes through my chest. Why, hello there, little spear. That’s a very interesting tooth you’ve got there.

At the shout of one of the commanders, about a dozen arrows stab into my back. I fall off the goblin I was just about to finish off. Ah. It hurts. I’m bleeding. This is too much. It hurts.

<You have learned:

Piercing Protection Lv.2>

Piercing protection… aren’t you supposed to be strong? How come I’m still being very much pierced? Dummy. Ah, it hurts…

A goblin holding some weird barbed hook thing approaches me where I lie on the ground and I only barely have time to recognize it as a man-catcher before he thrusts it at my neck and catches himself a man. Ah. This is bad. Did I lose? No, I’m still alive, I just need to get back up on my feet, and then I can continue. I still haven’t died. I need to win. I need to beat the dumb goblins. Otherwise I’m a… bad… gamer…

<You have learned:

Oxygen Deficiency Resistance Lv.4>

Before my hazy eyes, one of the commanders steps forth. It’s the guy in the fancy armour.

“Jurt er’t stutt,” he orders someone I can’t see. I wonder what it means. I don’t think I could survive getting stabbed in the neck. My lung feels weird. I think that spear went into my right lung. That isn’t good. It’s collapsing. But my left lung works fine. If I could only meditate, then I could get better. I need to…

Oh, a goblin is stepping up behind me. I think that’s one of the commanders. I wonder what he’s going to do with that sword of his.

Huh? Uh, okay, this is weird, two random goblin troops are grabbing my feet. Th-, this is… I didn’t know goblins were into this sort of thing. I am very disturbed. Please, gods, protect me.

The commander lifts his sword high.

Huh? Wait a sec-,

He brings it down. My left foot goes tumbling. Huh. Huh. Huh. What?

He lifts his sword again.

Wait. Wait just a second. Hang on. Please, wait, I’m not-,

He brings it down. And there goes my right foot. Ah. Ahh. Ahhhh. I see.

This is… This is a new kind of pain, yes. Hm. Yes. I don’t think I ever want to experience this again. My brain feels fuzzy. Like my head is filled with cotton.

<You have learned:

Dismemberment Tolerance Lv.1>

<You have learned:

Dismemberment Tolerance Lv.2>

<You have learned:

Dismemberment Tolerance Lv.2>

<You have learned:

Bleeding Protection Lv.2>

<You have learned:

Slashing Tolerance Lv.5>

Ahh. I feel… Not so good.

The fancy commander steps closer to me. He has a weird facial expression. Determination and mourning, mixed so strangely you could only really see it on a warrior. I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I hate it. It’s too human. You’re a mob. A goblin. What do you have to mourn?

“Gra-jit… Tu bin ish vir nerh,” he says, almost gently, right to my face. “Trie mir ut chit-chit.” He holds out his hand, and after a few seconds, a dagger is deposited in it. He brings it to my neck. Ah. Is it too late to tell him that I don’t want to die?

But instead of stabbing it well and deep into my supple soft neck, he just starts cutting the skin of my pretty disguise. H-, hey, that’s my goblin disguise! Stop that, I spent a lot of time on it! Hey-ey-ey-ey—!

After cutting around the full circumference of the neck, he unmasks me. He stares at me. I stare at him. His expression turns a step more difficult.

“Gur fra hik?”

And only a second later, the priest appears at his side and points a big finger at me, and I expect him to do some magic at me, but instead, he just shouts, “Derecho!”

Yeah, yeah, I’m a derecho. What else is new?

With that exclamation though, the goblin soldiers who had crowded around me and the commanders start stepping back, a murmur running through them that sounds an awful lot like derecho, whatever that means. Is that their word for human or something? For some reason, it feels like they don’t recognize my species, but that might just be me. I don’t look too typical right now, I’m aware. But a little ashen paleness never hurt anyone, right?

But while my brain chugs along at half the speed of a kiddie ride at funland, the commanders start discussing amongst themselves, talking about this or that. It can probably be boiled down to something like should we kill him now or later, and my assumption turns true as they decide after some time to bind me up properly.

Chains and chains and chains and chains. Like, real ones. Without trying to pull out the several dozen arrows and the spear stuck inside me, they pull me to my feet, or, rather, to my stumps. I don’t know exactly what they expected me to do, but they seemed a bit surprised when I started walking. What else were they doing to do: drag me along? Eh, maybe.

To answer your question, yeah, I’m not struggling. Look, I’m chained by several heavy chains, surrounded by hundreds of goblins and already harmed to the point where I can’t climb, much less run. Fighting means death. And unlike the common perception of the pro-gamer, I do not want to die.

Two of the commanders are at my side. The priest is at a small distance but constantly checking over his shoulder. The main commander is far ahead, leading the army back from whence they came.

After an hour or so of marching, we pass the wooden hut.

Hm. Hang on. Are we hypothetically heading East?

W-, wait a second, hey, if I go there, I’ll clear the stage! Just-, just wait a moment, I can’t…

Ah, shoot, I can see the forest ending just up ahead! No way. Nuh-uh. I didn’t completely clear the stage! Step on the brakes! Stopppp—!

Grinding the stumps of my feet into the dirt, I pull myself to a stop, but the goblins holding my chains have other thoughts and start trying to pull me like an owner trying to drag their dog back inside the house. Nuh uh. Nuh uh. No way. I am not leaving this forest. I’ve changed my mind!

The commanders start trying to pull me too, but I am steadfast. No way. No way. Absolutely no-,

<Chain.>

My whole body freezes in place, and the goblins using all their might to pull me all tumble over, with my light body flying through the air and landing atop them. In horror, they scramble out from under me. But I can’t move.

…Hey! No fair! Magic is cheating!

The priest frowns at me. I growl at him like an animal.

But there’s nothing I can do, because the stage has shifted.

<The True Boss Stage

has been revealed.>

<Tutorial stage,

Hell Difficulty Third Floor

True Boss Stage>

<[Clear Condition]

Defeat the wicked goblin king who rules the

Shore City of Acheron with an iron fist.>

…True boss stage?